My Journey, From Untrained at Death's Door to Back in the Gym and Much More

[gradeaphysique]

Welcome to the beginning of my log

I am a type 1 diabetic who left a career in which I was unhappy and neglecting my health for. This brought me to the ICU in November 2020, after a horrific day. I was diagnosed with gastroparesis,as a result of suspected neuropathy from years of poor glucose management.

Prior to getting into this career in banking, I was a personal trainer for close to a decade and have always had a love for this lifestyle.

I put a stop to the neglect, left my job in December and got my ass back into the lifestyle. I have many goals, overall I am done compartmentalizing my love for health, fitness and bodybuilding.

I began visiting the park 3-5x a week to do about 25 dips & pull ups in March. April I joined a gym and started to train 5-6x a week, very lightly and with an intuitive approach, greasing the grooves. I will post more pictures but, my initial goal is to just touch up my strong points and focus more on my weak points as I ease back into training. I just started a training routine I made for myself from June to current, it is going well.

My first solid goal is to compete in classic physique at the Brooklyn Grand Prix 2023 (my first show ten years ago was in MP same show.) Granted I have maximized what I can do naturally, I will be slowly introducing some test and possibly some pre workout dbol in around 6-8 months. I am looking to start off slow, 10mg a day of test and something like dbol at a low dose on my weak body part days. I'm here to soak up all the info I can in that regard so feel free to share your knowledge and experience.

I'll be back to post my current training routine and more pics. Any participation is appreciated!

 

[gradeaphysique]

 

[Performance Based]

Hope you had a great day mate - so sorry but a few things

You’ve maxed out what you can do naturally? In no way meant to be disrespectful but that statement isn’t legitimate mate.

If you are going to start a cycle why are you doing 10mg per day of test? This is the standard TRT therapy - NOT cycle dosage. You are shutting yourself down for what you produce naturally. Seems a bit silly. 500-750 test per week with an AI or low dose EQ/Masteron to prevent aromatization. You’re carrying quite a bit of fat so test + dbol will bloat the hell out of you. Levels of aromatization increase along with body fat levels.

In all sincerity I would plan out a year of training - not to be the voice of dissent here but if you were struggling with health issues I wouldn’t necessarily look into body building but more of a human performance level of training. Build your cardiovascular engine. Crush 3-4 months of training naturally with an actual coach then add in the cycle.

Wish you the best in your journey mate, perhaps not the news you were looking for but health is paramount and something we can never truly get back.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Hope you had a great day mate - so sorry but a few things

You’ve maxed out what you can do naturally? In no way meant to be disrespectful but that statement isn’t legitimate mate.

If you are going to start a cycle why are you doing 10mg per day of test? This is the standard TRT therapy - NOT cycle dosage. You are shutting yourself down for what you produce naturally. Seems a bit silly. 500-750 test per week with an AI or low dose EQ/Masteron to prevent aromatization. You’re carrying quite a bit of fat so test + dbol will bloat the hell out of you. Levels of aromatization increase along with body fat levels.

In all sincerity I would plan out a year of training - not to be the voice of dissent here but if you were struggling with health issues I wouldn’t necessarily look into body building but more of a human performance level of training. Build your cardiovascular engine. Crush 3-4 months of training naturally with an actual coach then add in the cycle.

Wish you the best in your journey mate, perhaps not the news you were looking for but health is paramount and something we can never truly get back.

Nooo way my friend. Big misinterpretation. WHEN I max out (relative to competing within 12-18 months.) I don't believe many max out naturally regardless. I am back in the gym for only about 3 months now after years off. Naturally you will see me gain a lot! I am training at a very basic level and eating at the same basic level, creeping back into this due to my health.

As for my desire to start with a very modest intro to steroids, I believe I can do what I seek out with a little. I like the idea of starting VERY modestly to gauge blood work and sides. I can always up the dose in a few ways.

I will be on my current routine and at around 2500 calories till fall. In fall I will start pushing the training and diet for about 3 months. After that 3 months and few rounds of bloodwork I will consider a cycle. I will likely not do so for another year as I have every intention to build a strong base naturally. Right now I am just focusing on my weak points and balancing the more dominant parts of my physique.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Hope you had a great day mate - so sorry but a few things

You’ve maxed out what you can do naturally? In no way meant to be disrespectful but that statement isn’t legitimate mate.

If you are going to start a cycle why are you doing 10mg per day of test? This is the standard TRT therapy - NOT cycle dosage. You are shutting yourself down for what you produce naturally. Seems a bit silly. 500-750 test per week with an AI or low dose EQ/Masteron to prevent aromatization. You’re carrying quite a bit of fat so test + dbol will bloat the hell out of you. Levels of aromatization increase along with body fat levels.

In all sincerity I would plan out a year of training - not to be the voice of dissent here but if you were struggling with health issues I wouldn’t necessarily look into body building but more of a human performance level of training. Build your cardiovascular engine. Crush 3-4 months of training naturally with an actual coach then add in the cycle.

Wish you the best in your journey mate, perhaps not the news you were looking for but health is paramount and something we can never truly get back.

Thank you for the feedback. We agree on everything 100%

The way I have done this has been only health driven. I lost myself in work. Bodybuilding has always been my balance and catalus to health and happiness.

I have rushed back into the life before, I've been up to about 180 at 5'4 around this bf %. The only reason I am not cutting down is the fact I was so suppressed and barely eating for years. I was fatter at my start and by fall I will be leaner on more cals.

I would greatly appreciate you staying involved with my log. Much respect to your humble approach

 

[gradeaphysique]

Weighted planks on leg day
Pull ups in the park
Incline treadmill after calf pre exhaust

Legs A

Warm up w/ hip machines

Calf Raises 3x15
Hack Squat 3x8-10, 1x Failure
Seated Hamstring Curl 4x15
Leg extension 2x Failure
Smith Front Squat (Heels Elevated) 2x10
Seated or Standing Calf Raise 3x15
Crunches
Back extension

Upper A

Assisted Dips 4x12
Motor Rows 2x12
Assisted Pull Up 2x Failure
Seated Chest Fly 3x15
Rear Delt Fly 2x12
Incline Bench Press 3x6, 1x12
Front Double Cable Curl 3x15
Seated Tricep Push Down 6x15
Seated Tricep Extension or SMITH VERSION 3x12
Seated Machine Preacher Curl 1x Failure, rest pause, drop set
Barbell Wrist Curl plus oblique twists 3x15

Core

Planks
Vaccum
Sliding crunches

Legs B

Warm up w/ hip machines

Hamstring Curl 4x10
Leg Extension 2xFailure
Leg Press (high foot stance) 6x10
Calf Raise 6x10
Glute kickback machine 2x20
1 set walking lunges close to failure

Upper B

Smith one arm shrugs 2x failure
Dips 4x15
Tbar Row 2x10
Tbar shrug 2x15
Incline Machine Press 6x10
Dumbbell tricep extension 4x8-10
Barbell Curl 2x8
Hammer Curl 2xFailure
Machine Preacher & Machine Tricep Extension 2x failure

Core A

Crunches + back extensions
Leg extensions 4x12
Hyper extension 4x12
Leg Raises 4x12
Assisted Dips 2x12
Dips 2x12

Arms

Tricep Extension SMITH VERSION 3x12
DRAG CURL

Aside from these ^ I have a intuitive style arm day, not necessarily sticking to the same movements

1 day off and repeat

 

[Performance Based]

Nooo way my friend. Big misinterpretation. WHEN I max out (relative to competing within 12-18 months.) I don't believe many max out naturally regardless. I am back in the gym for only about 3 months now after years off. Naturally you will see me gain a lot! I am training at a very basic level and eating at the same basic level, creeping back into this due to my health.

As for my desire to start with a very modest intro to steroids, I believe I can do what I seek out with a little. I like the idea of starting VERY modestly to gauge blood work and sides. I can always up the dose in a few ways.

I will be on my current routine and at around 2500 calories till fall. In fall I will start pushing the training and diet for about 3 months. After that 3 months and few rounds of bloodwork I will consider a cycle. I will likely not do so for another year as I have every intention to build a strong base naturally. Right now I am just focusing on my weak points and balancing the more dominant parts of my physique.

Understood mate - a modest beginner cycle is 500mg test for 10-12 weeks.

When you see everyone talking about the 10mg per day program this is purely trt- do NOT shut yourself down for what you produce naturally.

This is status quo homeostasis.

 

[Performance Based]

I would greatly appreciate you staying involved with my log. Much respect to your humble approach

Man you'll have no problem with that here on this forum. Ping me, anyone - just stay happy and healthy mate and everyone will do what hey can to help! Wish I had this resource back in the day. Alot of mistakes, I, and others have made that you don't have to

 

[gradeaphysique]

Understood mate - a modest beginner cycle is 500mg test for 10-12 weeks.

When you see everyone talking about the 10mg per day program this is purely trt- do NOT shut yourself down for what you produce naturally.

This is status quo homeostasis.

So I have always tested low (free test) from my late teens to recently at 29 I've been between 200-500ng. Based on that and if I was to test in that same range before getting on, would you see the 10mg protocol as advantageous? I'm not neccesarily treating it as a cycle. I see it as beneficial because obviously having consistent exogenous test daily will result in a higher test level as well as sustained benefit, then using dbol to up my weekly total, implementating maybe a total of 50mg weekly. So yes it would be a TRT dose but, the way I see it, that will improve my ability to grow and better my physique. I'm not too worried about shutdown as once I get on, I'll be on for atleast a couple years at varied degrees. I'd look to save the bigger doses (relative) to one offseason blast and one pre contest. Thoughts?

 

[Performance Based]

So I have always tested low (free test) from my late teens to recently at 29 I've been between 200-500ng. Based on that and if I was to test in that same range before getting on, would you see the 10mg protocol as advantageous? I'm not neccesarily treating it as a cycle. I see it as beneficial because obviously having consistent exogenous test daily will result in a higher test level as well as sustained benefit, then using dbol to up my weekly total, implementating maybe a total of 50mg weekly. So yes it would be a TRT dose but, the way I see it, that will improve my ability to grow and better my physique. I'm not too worried about shutdown as once I get on, I'll be on for atleast a couple years at varied degrees. I'd look to save the bigger doses (relative) to one offseason blast and one pre contest. Thoughts?

Have you ran clomiphene and HCG to get yourself up a bit?

In all sincerity I would try and get you right naturally prior to cycling establish a true baseline.

I was out on TRT at 23 due to a cancer run in - I wish every day honestly that I didn’t listen to my endo and at least tried to get myself right first.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Have you ran clomiphene and HCG to get yourself up a bit?

In all sincerity I would try and get you right naturally prior to cycling establish a true baseline.

I was out on TRT at 23 due to a cancer run in - I wish every day honestly that I didn’t listen to my endo and at least tried to get myself right first.

That's my plan. I will get bloodwork, implement everything I can to get in a good place naturally and gauge how I'm doing. I realized as I'm closing out my twenties that the understanding I have of health hygiene has had me feeling better then my early twenties. Doing the stuff we always knew we should, consistently. More rest, less stress, less alchohol (close to none), more focus on quality of diet and eating as a response to demand. I now have much less symptoms of low t, I am interested to see where I'm at. I did blindly run clomiphene and DAA about 5 years ago, idiotically I did so with no blood work. I'd rather not touch clomiphene due to it's negative impact on the eyes. Let's see what my blood work is looking like. I will share previous bloods, bloods I plan to run in the fall and periodically take them about every 3 months.

I would say sorry you had to go through your bout with cancer but, you are here. Happy about that! I can relate in my own way. I struggle with chronic depression and when I first got my test levels checked at 19 or so, it crushed me. I thought to myself, I'm doing this for no reason, I cant grow at 290ng. It was inward self pity as a type 1 as well. It fueled a stupid 6 week cycle of ultradrol. Thankfully I got off, PCT'd and did things naturally, slow and steady. I trust myself now to utilize gear when it's time, solely to better myself and my career in this sport. I will sacrifice a bit of health to the sport at times as we all do but, no more than I was at my horrible 9-5's. That life took way more from me.

 

[Performance Based]

I’ve ran clinic extensively - no affect on my eye sight. Think that’s a bit of an unusual side. It’s a very widely prescribed compound.

Definitely look into running some HCG and ancillaries and get your levels tested again.

 

[gradeaphysique]

 

[gradeaphysique]

Above is my another week's progress in this offseason. I am back into the gym and therefore any type of posing for just shy of three months. I mention the posing because, between pictures some body parts look drastically different in my eyes dependent on posing choices. The only time I am posing is for these update pictures, that will change soon. I intend to work in an intensive minimum hour long posing session per week very soon.

I am pretty happy with this past week. I have gotten good feedback from my body in response to increase in calories. I will continue to reiterate, I was in a terrible metabolic and physical state to begin my initial recomp. I was most definitely at a higher body fat % as well as lacking muscle. I took things very slow in all regards, focusing on proper blood glucose control, recovery and the increase in muscle tissue, not fat. This is why I am continuing to add calories. Why? Because my body is utilizing the extra calories to put on tissue. Both my upper and lower body are still recovering and in the process of muscle memory but, what I think a lot of people brush over is the fact that you can be in that process and also put on new detail and tissue, I am doing so. Based on this past weeks comparison pictures, I am most happy as the areas I want the improve seem to be getting fuller. My arms, my chest and my legs. My back and shoulders can be vastly more developed at this point but I don't want that. This phase in my offseason is the beginning of a ramp up in training and the last of a period in which I leave certain muscle groups as mentioned to simply stay trained but to not eat away opportunity from my weak points. In late June I was weighing approx. 152 and I am now pushing 160, I'd say my condition is about the same, happy with that.

I will slowly be adding in a few vital compounds in which I know will change my physique fairly drastically.

First, In regard to my legs. Hack squats and hamstring curls (seated specifically) have been my two main movements. They both have been progressing well. I am posterior chain dominant when I barbell squat, I needed more quads as I am relatively wide up top. I also did not choose to begin my training utilizing barbell squats as it would tax my recovery greatly, while adding to more imbalance in my physique in which will not help my overall look. I will be adding in either a front of back squat this month, I think I will be dedicating a training day to those squats and will be looking to use this exercise as a true gauge for improvement. I have already began to add weight to my dips on my upper body day. I am only training shoulders about once every ten days and focusing on the upright row and front raises (not too intensely but higher rep, always at a challenging rpe.) I will keep my shoulder training that way as the dips will push them to grow naturally (I am very shoulder dominant and they grow very quickly.)

The one issue which is bound to present itself, is recovery. I am definitely recovering as my performance in the gym and progress is lineal but, I am becoming drastically more taxed outside of the gym. I have increased my sleep, my food has gone up (see my week's myfitnesspal stats below) but, naturally being on this specific routine and training hard for a month now is naturally going to demand more from my body.
I will post my updated training routine next week as not much has changed at all. I will be playing with days off and times that I train (training in the morning followed by training late in the day the following day, followed by a day off as an example.) I have now been trying to get a minimum of eight hours sleep and usually getting at least that in the past week. In October which will be about a year out from when I am planning to compete, I will be adding weighted pull ups and changing my routine overall, this will be the big offseason push followed by a cut to finally bring body fat down. BTW the show I am aiming for is the NPC Brooklyn Grand Prix, last I spoke to Matthew he was unsure if it would happen this year, if anybody is aware if they got a venue I'd be curious to know.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Net Average Calories:2797

Since I have started the training routine posted earlier in the thread, my appetite has gone through the roof. Earlier in June, I was consuming 2250 calories on average maximum. My body is using these excess calories. I am slowly working towards improving the macro ratio. By end of month I'm looking to be closer to 150 protein, 4-500 carb and 75 fat. I am currently with no disposable income and not using any supplements, no protein powder included. I am fine with that, I am eating 90% home cooked, quality food. I'll post a day of eating soon.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Weekly Check in

 

[gradeaphysique]

Weekly Macros (Approx 2500 average calories daily)

 

[Push50]

Late but following

 

[gradeaphysique]

Couple things to share...

New Implantations to program

• Barbell back squatting every 10 days in addition to normal training routine.
• Training shoulders at a low volume every 10 days in addition to normal training routine.
• My macros on my weekly update in a few days will be almost identical to last week's, aside from a slight drop in fat intake. Although this past week I have been consuming roughly 75% of my carbs peri-workout.
• I have been far more active (intentionally.) In the form of walking more and a few cardio sessions throughout the week. Some fasted, some post workout.
• I have added weight to my dips which I knew would benefit my physique greatly, I feel my chest will be in a good place as my dips and incline press are going well.

Changes to be made...

• I am training quite frequently with 1-2 days rest per week max. I will likely increase carb intake to 400g. I will double my intra-workout carbs from 50g (I use kool-aid atm) to 100g.
• I am looking to keep my fats at around 60-70g going forward but, from better sources and in a specific balance in regard to the type of fats (lowest intake being saturated.) Due to what is available to me, my fats will come mostly from fish oil,olive oil and egg yolk. I was using 10g of fish oil up until a month ago. I found myself pulling back from my use of fish oil as my training frequency increased and I struggled to find a time to take fish oil without interfering with necessary training adaptation. I will get back to using fish oil, now at about 20g per day.
• I will be taking my blood pressure and sharing blood glucose numbers (some sort of average, I will figure this out as I don't always test at the same times.) I will include these markers with my weekly updates as well as a morning weigh in.
• I have been looking to consume more protein. My appetite has been a bit lackluster in spots this past week or so but, I feel this is due to irregularity in my routine and some higher stress days as I've had a bit of a weird month.
• I may start to schedule my workout times a week in advance if I cannot lower stress from a bit of an irregular routine. I am a full time father of my two year old daughter and find myself dedicating a huge amount of energy to upkeep tasks like cleaning, cooking and laundry. I clean my home in full on a daily and usually walk 1-2 miles daily doing things like laundry and grocery shopping with my daughter (I do not drive.) These are not complaints, I am looking to manage the physical stress in my day to day as my training will be ramped up progressively. I first will schedule a nap per day and see if this week which should have less variables detrimental to training is more conducive to optimal training and recovery.
• I am experiencing some bad knee pain after utilizing hack squats as my primary quad movement for about a month and although I am very happy with the results and progression, I may have to swap these out for a week and reassess. My thought is to replace them with the combo of pre exhaustion via leg extensions followed by back squats.

Any feedback is appreciated. Back on the 18th for a weekly check in.

 

[gradeaphysique]

Ok, weekly pic time. Conditions were a bit different as my day didn't allow me to take my progress pics in the AM. I am not benefiting from any natural light and I am full of the day's meals.