My marriage is turning to shit.

Freedom15Muscle · Dec 18, 2016

Bionic said:
I think you misunderstand. It's not the age of your kids that's important right now. It's the fact that she's bringing strange men around them. GOD forbid, but anything could happen. She's putting them in danger by doing this. She's putting you in danger because now these "men" know the layout of your house, details about you and whatever else she told them, among other things.

And don't, for one second, blame yourself for any of this. You did not force her to do these scumbag things. Lots of marriages need work but that doesn't give the woman carte blanche to do what your wife did. And these are the things you know about. I'd bet there are more things you don't.

No I get that forsure. I'm going to do some research on the divorce process. Make sure I understand the ins and outs of filling. I appreciate everyones suggestions. I get better help and insight on here than I would going to military Behavioral Help.

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Bigboyz806 · Dec 18, 2016

I'm sorry that you had to go through that brotha. I feel your pain... My best bet is to tell her to beat feet and move on.. You don't need that kind of toxic behavior in your life.. Been in your shoes before. Just not marriage wise. Just relationship wise. Yes it's gonna bother you for a bit once she's not in the pic. But all I can say is to just let time heal your wounds and the dark feelings that you're experiencing right now. You will soon realise that you dodged a bullet from her...So.. Hang in there big boy. You will be alright.

Love_to_Bodybuild · Jan 2, 2017

hows it going freedom?

You know Judges rule in womens favor generally. Of course beautiful looks dont hurt. Take a bodybuilding show. beautiful girl gets mad bc she didnt win and throws stuff at the crowd and flips them off, thats considered cute behavior and no real penalty. Guy does it and crucified . Take that show what would you do, when opposite sex slipped something in a drink when looking, the guy putting it into the girls drink always got 10 x more trouble when people seen he did it, the girl didnt and in some cases noone mentioned to theguy the girl put something in his drink. watch the wwyd episode on stuff in drink episode for yourself

my point is the judicial system is easier on women. You have to prove that shes been unfaithful. Youre best bet maybe when you are deployed again is hire a private investigator. I know , I know it costs money etc, but its the best option to get custody of your kids proving shes putting them in danger,being unfaithful, etc . do what it takes to win

I feel for you bro.

Freedom15Muscle · Jan 4, 2017

Love_to_Bodybuild said:
hows it going freedom?

You know Judges rule in womens favor generally. Of course beautiful looks dont hurt. Take a bodybuilding show. beautiful girl gets mad bc she didnt win and throws stuff at the crowd and flips them off, thats considered cute behavior and no real penalty. Guy does it and crucified . Take that show what would you do, when opposite sex slipped something in a drink when looking, the guy putting it into the girls drink always got 10 x more trouble when people seen he did it, the girl didnt and in some cases noone mentioned to theguy the girl put something in his drink. watch the wwyd episode on stuff in drink episode for yourself

my point is the judicial system is easier on women. You have to prove that shes been unfaithful. Youre best bet maybe when you are deployed again is hire a private investigator. I know , I know it costs money etc, but its the best option to get custody of your kids proving shes putting them in danger,being unfaithful, etc . do what it takes to win

I feel for you bro.

I understand your point here. For the meantime I've been playing it cool. I feel much like the old saying goes...an elephant never forgets. Im due for 1 month training in march and deploy again in june. I dont know how long that will be but I havr thought about this option. I love my kids and wife, but as sad as it is to say I dont trust her past where I can see her. [emoji35]

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ericraven2003 · Jan 4, 2017

My ex wife had an affair for the last 2 years of our marriage. Didnt find out til after we split. Its tough, but better to be divorced. Kids that grow up in a marriage where there is no love dont fair any better then divorced ones IMO.
Dont let it drag out. Thats worse for you, and your kids.

anarchocapitalist · Jan 4, 2017

I'm a divorced father of three boys.

I do not think that infidelity is the end of a marriage. It means she isn't getting something she needs. Its not your responsibility to meet her needs. Its her own responsibility.

If you can work through this I would. As a divorced father there are still days where I miss my children so much I break down an have an ugly cry in the shower on my knees.

If you cannot work through this then you need to divorce. A six year marriage with children and a home is not a failure. It just means you both did the best you can with the tools you had. If you decide to divorce YOU NEED TO talk to a lawyer and get a solid parenting plan, custody agreement, etc. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS A FATHER. If you do divorce do not underestimate the power of a woman in a female centric court. Women can get ugly.