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My Tinder experience

aphextwin

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Apr 13, 2010
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5,278
Tinder is full of easy prey. All these divorced single moms looking to be taken out. I’ve learned that single moms are for recreation only. I’m not going to help raise anyone’s son.

If you are going to pump and dump I recommend keeping a paper trail. Next thing you know you’re getting accused of rape. Just saying
 

homer317

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Jan 20, 2009
Messages
15

"4 nuts and 6/7 hours later. I'm like wtf am I going to do with this raging boner. I'm glad I brought the antidote. So now I'm trying to give this shot and I'm aspirating but the syringe keeps filling up full of blood and now I'm making a bloody mess all over the bathroom floor and my dick for sticking myself like four times. Finally I just slammed that shit in there. Of course the syringe is filling full of blood. Duh! My Dick is full of blood.
Now she wants to do it again when she was done but it's too late. Aint nothing gonna get me up now. My shit was black n blue beat up. I was impressed with myself. She was impressed."


I'm sorry but i cant stop reading this 🤣. This looks like the screenplay if Ben Stiller made a porn movie, lol. Like a romantic porn comedy. Pure gold.. Short bro you could definitely make some extra coin writing for penthouse. Man I've been married since all this came out i cant imagine the kind of shit that I'd be in if Tinder was around in my 20's when single. The only thing I remember was adult friend finder. Sounds like 20 somethingish gals are even more insane with this generation. May the force be with you bro!
 

maldorf

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25,526
You wear panties no wonder she afraid of you
cute-womens-panties-for-men.jpg
 

goback2013

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Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,216
Went to a hotel pool party this weekend. Never knew these things were so common or even existed. Easily 20 females to 1 male. Dudes with fat rolls and diet induced gyno were getting tons of play.
I was there with my current lady so action is already set it stone.
But if I was by myself I would have slayed.
Gentlemen... if you are having problems getting laid and these joe public guys are getting some run, then the problem must not be the female...
I mean the females I saw were all in their 20s early 30s. Just giving attention to any schmo who came up to them.
The 30,40+ divorced females I saw there probably would sucked off a guy right there just to have a man for the night... I'm just amazed at how thirtsy these females were and how they cared nothing about muscles or non of that shit we obsess over.
 

maldorf

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Went to a hotel pool party this weekend. Never knew these things were so common or even existed. Easily 20 females to 1 male. Dudes with fat rolls and diet induced gyno were getting tons of play.
I was there with my current lady so action is already set it stone.
But if I was by myself I would have slayed.
Gentlemen... if you are having problems getting laid and these joe public guys are getting some run, then the problem must not be the female...
I mean the females I saw were all in their 20s early 30s. Just giving attention to any schmo who came up to them.
The 30,40+ divorced females I saw there probably would sucked off a guy right there just to have a man for the night... I'm just amazed at how thirtsy these females were and how they cared nothing about muscles or non of that shit we obsess over.
Guys like Ron Jeremy!
 

AP13

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Jun 9, 2006
Messages
63
I haven't been laid in awhile. I'm a working single dad and I just haven't had the time... So when this red head from Tinder contacted me... I was like ok. She was only a few miles away. Called me up like dick service. She told me she was 160lbs goes to the gym all the time. So I didn't think nothing about her weight. I'm 190lbs. She's goes to the gym. I don't mind thick. It didn't seem unreasonable. Man this bitch had her skinny pictures up. Catfished me like a mf. I was already there. I'm like fuck it. She was drunk. I don't remember how my fingers got in her mouth but she showed me she had no gag reflex. I went to the gym b4 I got there because idk stupid me wanted to have a pump when I got there. This woman wore me the fuck out. 160 pounds my ass. Trying to hold up this women's legs and Jack hammer that ass at the same time had me quivering and shaking gasping for air... I felt like a linebacker trying to even budge her ass off the bed. At one point I had to hold on to the headboard so her legs didn't fall and throw me off the bed. I was cramping up dying. I couldn't breathe... Being on top of her when she breathed she could move me up and down. I bit off more than I could chew. I wore myself out real quick and I was thinking I shouldn't of went to the gym. This was cardio and weight lifting at the same time. So I'm thinking I need a break. Let's check out this gag reflex. So I tried to drag her to the side of the bed where I could hang her head off so I could try n dip my dick down her throat. Yeah I watch too much porn... I tried with one hand. I tried with two. I couldn't even move this bitch, Lol. I was done. Fuck this! I had no problem calling this woman out. Hey sweetheart. There's no way in hell your 160 pounds. She's like you calling me fat. Idc... You can call it butter and smear it all over your ass. There's no way in hell your 160 pounds. It shouldn't matter.. You should love me for who I am. You were 160 pounds on the phone. I just met you. She knew. Needless to say I wasn't her type anymore. Well likewise darling and on the way out she's like I don't like your Facebook page anyways. Yeah I know because all those women actually go to the gym and workout.
That was my Tinder experience. Next time I'm cammin 1st. Women made me feel weak and out of shape. I tried too hard too quick thinking I was going to kill it. That was the biggest woman I've ever slept with. Idk how to fuck those big women. 😁
Awesome. Friend, you should write for tv.
 

maxmusle1

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Apr 3, 2021
Messages
998
Great story! Lmao.
Hinge, Snapsext, Adultfriendfinder(costs$) and Bumble are decent just for casual hookups. Some may be right in your neighborhood. Definitely a lot of choices, obviously some cost but, some don’t. The good ones will show or send pic of them naked. Not for Actual Dating. Friend hired a bombshell 10 for Halloween party and she is doing it free, because he has 2 tickets to the Top Notch Party. I am giving him shit tonight! Should be some good fun.
Max
 

Hermogenes

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May 12, 2009
Messages
89
many moons ago I was catch fished, the close up pics where from 20 years past, the orange tan a turn off, the fat/flaccid body a dick killer, the helmet like hairstyle grotesque.
We met, I realized what happened and thought "Cut your losses while you can", I said hello and in less than 60 seconds I politely said good bye.
Right away I got a nasty text which I replied "we are not a match", followed by another nasty text that I answered "you lied and we both wasted time", then she tried to call me names... "You look like the child of Lucifer, I don't do charity with my penis"
 

maldorf

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Mar 16, 2007
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25,526
many moons ago I was catch fished, the close up pics where from 20 years past, the orange tan a turn off, the fat/flaccid body a dick killer, the helmet like hairstyle grotesque.
We met, I realized what happened and thought "Cut your losses while you can", I said hello and in less than 60 seconds I politely said good bye.
Right away I got a nasty text which I replied "we are not a match", followed by another nasty text that I answered "you lied and we both wasted time", then she tried to call me names... "You look like the child of Lucifer, I don't do charity with my penis"
So you wouldn't go through with the date with Damien ?

R (3).jpeg
 

pimpman

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Oct 22, 2006
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Great story! Lmao.
Hinge, Snapsext, Adultfriendfinder(costs$) and Bumble are decent just for casual hookups. Some may be right in your neighborhood. Definitely a lot of choices, obviously some cost but, some don’t. The good ones will show or send pic of them naked. Not for Actual Dating. Friend hired a bombshell 10 for Halloween party and she is doing it free, because he has 2 tickets to the Top Notch Party. I am giving him shit tonight! Should be some good fun.
Max
Let us know how it goes for him lol should be fun
 

Bloxz

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Mar 28, 2017
Messages
232
I love dating apps. I slay hot pussy easily with them.

Being in shape, having quality photos taken of you and a witty profile goes far for me.

I don't post selfies, ever.

Also, a pic of you getting out of the pool/ocean with your dick print showing is effective. Hopefully you're packing something worth showing.
 

Love_to_Bodybuild

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Dec 11, 2014
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If you are going to pump and dump I recommend keeping a paper trail. Next thing you know you’re getting accused of rape. Just saying
What do you mean paper trail?

And if so how would you go about keeping one?
 

Fa Seeshus

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Jul 8, 2006
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1,940
I love dating apps. I slay hot pussy easily with them.

Being in shape, having quality photos taken of you and a witty profile goes far for me.

I don't post selfies, ever.

Also, a pic of you getting out of the pool/ocean with your dick print showing is effective. Hopefully you're packing something worth showing.

Actually the ocean thing works because Chicks dig Marine biologists.
 

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