My Wife joined the Air Force......

[joeshow5]

She has been wanting to for a long time and I have always said no, but she was finally offered a job in her career field (meteorology). I still wanted to veto the idea, but I also want to be supportive of her ambitions, so I said okay. Go for it.

She has been in basic training for 4 weeks now and I feel pretty messed up about this decision. I was just ondering if any other (husbands) have been through something similar and how everything is. (encouragement hopefully).

It just feels....weird, ya know?

 

[gtj220]

Do you feel this decision is solely for her career or for any other underlying reasons?

 

[joeshow5]

She has always wanted to be in the air force. She admired military folk, and wanted to try it herself. She also wants to travel. We had been tossing the idea around for a long time (4-5 yrs). I grew up an air force brat and really have no desire to join.

 

[Potimus]

My wifes has been in for 4.5 years now. Shes gone to Iraq for 6 months, korea for a year, Utah for 2.5 years, now we live in Georgia together. To be honest, its very very cool to be a military spouse. For one there are so many advantages to having a spouse in the AF. My wife is Staff Sargent, we get almost $1,000 for housing (we live off base), almost free health care, almost free Vet bills, free gym memberships, military discounts are offered almost everywhere, you get to travel more then you'd probably do if she werent in (we're trying to get stationed in Germany next). In my opinion, her being in the military strengthened our relationship. When she leaves on tours alls we have in communications and webcam now and then. It took our marriage to another level and matured us very quickly (we were both 22 when we got married). Its better to accept the fact that shes leaving or when she has to go on tours rather then trying to fight it and be worried 24/7.

I will put it to you this way. She's now part of the government. Government comes first, you come second.

 

[Stump]

JS5, please support her and her dream 100%, my wife and I both served 21 yrs. It is not going to be an easy road for her nor you, with deployments, TDY's, long hours etc..it will be very stressfull for the both of you. She is fullfilling a lifelong dream plus she is also defending our country. I am very proud of her and thank you for allowing her to sign up, I know it was a very difficult decision but you will see the end results and be very thankfull. As for what Potimus said I agree with him, the military will make you both a stronger couple and plus the benefits are great. I do not agree and never have agreed with military 1st people 2nd, to me the person is who makes the military and without them the AF is nothing, so I have always put my people first and the end result was always outstanding. Again support her 100% and thank you.

 

[gtj220]

sounds like your support of her desire to join may enhance your marriage, good luck to both of you!!!!

 

[TooPowerful4u]

Iv got to be honest. Reading all your posts makes me feel selfish and inconsiderate, knowing how I feel about it. I personally would veto that in a second. Im the type of guy who loves attention and being with his girl, and would miss her more than anything if that were the case. I would in no way accept being second to the government. I dont care if she was defending the country. If you had kids, wouldnt you want your son/daughter to have a normal life and see mommy every day and be happy. Not have to change schools all the time.

I personally hate military jobs. Its not a job, they own you. What gives a country the right to own you? If you dont show up for work or decide you want to leave, its not like a normal job...they court marshall you or some shit, put you in military prison, or just ruin your life with a dishonerable discharge. Fuck that. What gives the government the right to own you?

 

[THEVANILLAGORILLA]

do any of you think joing the army at 29 or 30 the canadian forces is too late

 

[Potimus]

Iv got to be honest. Reading all your posts makes me feel selfish and inconsiderate, knowing how I feel about it. I personally would veto that in a second. Im the type of guy who loves attention and being with his girl, and would miss her more than anything if that were the case. I would in no way accept being second to the government. I dont care if she was defending the country. If you had kids, wouldnt you want your son/daughter to have a normal life and see mommy every day and be happy. Not have to change schools all the time.

I personally hate military jobs. Its not a job, they own you. What gives a country the right to own you? If you dont show up for work or decide you want to leave, its not like a normal job...they court marshall you or some shit, put you in military prison, or just ruin your life with a dishonerable discharge. Fuck that. What gives the government the right to own you?

The same country that will give you basically FREE housing, FREE health care, FREE pet care, FREE college, job security, able to travel the world, ect. If his wife gets pregnant, she has the option to LEAVE the military with no disciplinary action. I will agree with you on your selffishness, lol.

 

[ghostdog128]

I personally hate military jobs. Its not a job, they own you. What gives a country the right to own you? If you dont show up for work or decide you want to leave, its not like a normal job...they court marshall you or some shit, put you in military prison, or just ruin your life with a dishonerable discharge. Fuck that. What gives the government the right to own you?

I understand where you're coming from TPFU, but I've been in the military for over 13 years now. About half of that was active, the rest guard time. I'm not busting your balls on this one but when you say what gives the military the right to own you well.... As they used to say when I was in the Marine Corps- U Signed the Motherfucking Contract (USMC). When someone signs they know this before hand, and the people that can't deal with it, don't sign. That easy.

Now once you're in, shit can suck for sure.. but then it falls on personal responsibilty, integrity and owning up to what ones done. Basically finishing what you've started. The military sucks sometimes, but I think this is the biggest lesson alot of people take away from it.


To Joe, you'll have fun. Make the most of it, take as many different duty stations as your wife can get. It's a great way to see the world.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

The same country that will give you basically FREE housing, FREE health care, FREE pet care, FREE college, job security, able to travel the world, ect. If his wife gets pregnant, she has the option to LEAVE the military with no disciplinary action. I will agree with you on your selffishness, lol.

The reason for all the free shit is becuase they know that without it, nobody in their right mind has reason to go or stay in the first place. Its like a bribe, perks that give you reason to stay. When they try to sign you up in the first place (i had army, navy, marines all visitn my school cafeteria 2x/wk for months in high school)..all they do is tell you what stuff you get and what they can do for you...they are bribing you. They know once they got you locked down, you are theirs. Its a trap. Never do they say "you are being honorable, defending your country, etc.." they know youl never sign. Its all about the bribe.

Dont get me wrong i have NOTHING bad to say about the good soldiers that defend us, its the organization that runs it. They are proud and brave, and yes, alot do go there to defend our country and are honorable.

My problem is that i feel its a trap when they are recruited. Every friend that iv ever had sign up always bragged about what he was promised (bribed!). Then when out there on the field, didnt want to be there, but had NO way out. If you want to pull out and stay home and dont want to go to war or fight, change your mind.... TOO BAD, your stuck. You pay the penalty if you pull out.

 

[Stump]

I understand where you're coming from TPFU, but I've been in the military for over 13 years now. About half of that was active, the rest guard time. I'm not busting your balls on this one but when you say what gives the military the right to own you well.... As they used to say when I was in the Marine Corps- U Signed the Motherfucking Contract (USMC). When someone signs they know this before hand, and the people that can't deal with it, don't sign. That easy.

Now once you're in, shit can suck for sure.. but then it falls on personal responsibilty, integrity and owning up to what ones done. Basically finishing what you've started. The military sucks sometimes, but I think this is the biggest lesson alot of people take away from it.


To Joe, you'll have fun. Make the most of it, take as many different duty stations as your wife can get. It's a great way to see the world.[/QUOTE]


PUMP, PUMP and 1 more PUMP

 

[Potimus]

The reason for all the free shit is becuase they know that without it, nobody in their right mind has reason to go or stay in the first place. Its like a bribe, perks that give you reason to stay. When they try to sign you up in the first place (i had army, navy, marines all visitn my school cafeteria 2x/wk for months in high school)..all they do is tell you what stuff you get and what they can do for you...they are bribing you. They know once they got you locked down, you are theirs. Its a trap. Never do they say "you are being honorable, defending your country, etc.." they know youl never sign. Its all about the bribe.

Dont get me wrong i have NOTHING bad to say about the good soldiers that defend us, its the organization that runs it. They are proud and brave, and yes, alot do go there to defend our country and are honorable.

My problem is that i feel its a trap when they are recruited. Every friend that iv ever had sign up always bragged about what he was promised (bribed!). Then when out there on the field, didnt want to be there, but had NO way out. If you want to pull out and stay home and dont want to go to war or fight, change your mind.... TOO BAD, your stuck. You pay the penalty if you pull out.

Which is exactly why its more then a 5 minute think it over type career. You know what youre getting yourself in to before you sign the contract.

 

[Air Supply]

I have respect for your wife. God Bless Her.

 

[eroc613]

Well, everybody has an opinion. But all I have to say is 2p4u is right. I worked as contractor on a Navy base, where most of the guys that worked for me were either retired or got out early. One of the guys that worked for me was a Navy recuiter and he told me most all recuiters mislead about what your job is going to be like. And you DO have to read the fine print.
Plus my father-in-law is a retired Lt. Commander, and one of the first thing he told me when we met was not not join the military. Because after retirement, unless you get a civil service job, it's hard to keep a real job. The government don't care about making money, just spending it. They think it's cost less to throw supplies off the side of the ship, than inventory it. Bullshit!! But who cares theyr'e not paying for it, WE ARE!!! Working on the base I worked side by side with these guys, and they throw expensive shit away everyday!!
Free everything, and we pay for it. I have so many stories it's just stupid. I only know a hundred or so military, so maybe I just know the bad stories.
I really hope the best for you and your wife. But the odds are against you. You really need to keep the "Don't ask, don't tell" attitude. Good luck, and prove me wrong.

 

[joeshow5]

Thanks for all the replies.
Potimus, thats awesome. Thanks for pointing out all the positives.
It will be an interesting change of pace for sure.
However, I am more of a guy like TP4U. I like to spend lots of time with my wife and come first. But the way I see it, is I do come first, I will simply allow the Air Foce to use her when they needed. It still sucks though.
She graduates on the 1st, I can't wait to see her. I miss her like crazy!
I am proud of her, though. The military is not something I would ever want to do. I respct all those individuals that are able and willing to join. I just find it to be a really weird change in our lives right now. A guy at work called me an Air Force wife (jokeing) but I swear I wanted to lay him out!lol.
The term is military spouse.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

That is another worry that i didnt want to bring up, but someone else did. Cheating. How long can you be away from someone and remain faithful? It can be done, but what percentage of humans are actually decent and strong enough to do it? Not too many.

We all wish you well my friend, stay positive and best of luck.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

Thanks for all the replies.
Potimus, thats awesome. Thanks for pointing out all the positives.
It will be an interesting change of pace for sure.
However, I am more of a guy like TP4U. I like to spend lots of time with my wife and come first. But the way I see it, is I do come first, I will simply allow the Air Foce to use her when they needed. It still sucks though.
She graduates on the 1st, I can't wait to see her. I miss her like crazy!
I am proud of her, though. The military is not something I would ever want to do. I respct all those individuals that are able and willing to join. I just find it to be a really weird change in our lives right now. A guy at work called me an Air Force wife (jokeing) but I swear I wanted to lay him out!lol.
The term is military spouse.

I feel you bro. You are going to miss her alot at times. Just pray she doesnt fall victim to anyone. Women are much weaker than men and more easily seduced. Men cheat becasue they are assholes, not because someone seduced them and persuaded them. Women do it because they are lonely and need comfort and loving and want to be intimate...they are seduced, and the seduction is easier because of their state. You will not be first bro. If she has to go and you dont want her to, tough luck. If you want her to quick, tough luck. Sorry man, thats the way it is.

Again we all wish you the best, and any time you need to talk we are all here. OuchThatHurts is a great person to talk to when you need advice, hes usually in the counceling forum or you can PM him, hes a great person.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

do any of you think joing the army at 29 or 30 the canadian forces is too late

If you feel you can still be just as succesful, why not? Go for it bro!

 

[LEX]

You can say whatever you want to about the Mil. I gotta admit that I hated alot about it when I was in and it felt like a prison term. BUT I wear that experience proudly on my sleeve and it was deffinately one of the things that help me forge my character and helped me personally. I am damn proud to have served.