O/T funny story(EXPLICIT)

[tkav1980]

Hopefully some of you guys can relate to this. i dont know whats going on lately. my diet hasent changed but maybe my body has. last night my fiancee and i lay down in bed after the eagles game. she has to be up at 5 am for class. right after she falls asleep i feel a rumble in my stomach. i figure ahh screw it she's out like a light so i let it rip. well, it was powerful enough to vibrate the bed and sounded like a 747 landed in our bedroom. needless to say not only did the sound wake her up but you know how the smell of your own fart doesnt really bother you, just others around you? this one made me gag. so after getting punched in the arm and being called an asshole she falls back asleep, and so do i. well at 3 this morning i get woken up by getting hit in the face with a pillow and she demands i go sleep on the couch. apparrently from around 12 am to 3 am it was a non stop gas fest. she said it almost made her puke a couple of times and she just couldnt take it anymore, and demanded i go see a doctor to figure out whats wrong with my ass before i can sleep in that bed again. i hope you all had a better night that she did.

 

[michelin]

thanks for sharing.......that cracked me up

 

[bhumik]

omg i m laughing so fucking hard

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

This was the reason for twin beds! bahahahaha LMAO!

 

[oracle]

after being married for five years. the wife KNOWS to expect a good dutch oven every now and then..

 

[cpesloco]

great laugh thanks.

woman should know guys stink, especially with extra protien.

 

[ruf361]

thats awesome! man shit at its best. i know when i neglect my fiber intake for a while, then i switch back to a good amount of fiber, the first 5 or 6 days are terrible on my ass. Like you said, 99% of the time, your own farts don't bother you, but when i have fiber kickin, i let out some fog that would choke a donkey.

 

[Phidias]

Either you buy a tub of digestive enzymes quickly or sex with her will soon be a sweet memory...

 

[tkav1980]

Either you buy a tub of digestive enzymes quickly or sex with her will soon be a sweet memory...

lmfao!!!!!!!!!!

 

[thebrick]

That's hilarious! You scared me though... I thought you were going to say you shit in the bed between 12 and 3 AM.
Thanks for a good laugh!

 

[HeavyHands]

That's hilarious! You scared me though... I thought you were going to say you shit in the bed between 12 and 3 AM.
Thanks for a good laugh!

No joke I thought the same exact thing!!! Phew man! You would've had some big time problems with your girl then ha! Funny story bro

 

[alan1973]

I laughed so hard that I don't need my ab workout today!!!!!!!!!!!
I too have had those that even I can't stand, usually associated with eating steak and beans earlier in the day. but what can I do, get up every 10 minutes to drop ass in the bathroom or at least the hall way? I would never get any sleep!

 

[oldfella]

You know they're bad when the dog ducks it's head, puts its' tail between the legs and leaves the room. Just as it reaches the doorway it turns around and gives you a most indignant look!!

 

[alan1973]

You know they're bad when the dog ducks it's head, puts its' tail between the legs and leaves the room. Just as it reaches the doorway it turns around and gives you a most indignant look!!

those are the days when I fart in my cats face and then watch it spend the next 15 minutes cleaning his face and lickinig his chops...while it is trying to hide from me.

 

[Quad-smack]

You know they're bad when the dog ducks it's head, puts its' tail between the legs and leaves the room. Just as it reaches the doorway it turns around and gives you a most indignant look!!

LMFAO! Alpha Male farts are to be feared.

Try switching to a lower lactose/higher quality protein. Worked wonders for me - and my poor family...

 

[sassbs11]

Lol now thats funnny.

 

[blackhole]

awesome bro, it takes a real man to put out farts that gag yourself. lmao

 

[exorcist1]

That's hilarious! You scared me though... I thought you were going to say you shit in the bed between 12 and 3 AM.
Thanks for a good laugh!

LMFAO...! great story man.... I thought you were gonna shit in the bed too...