- Joined
- Jan 2, 2009
- Messages
- 130
LIFE: What Is It Really?
As I sit here in the early hours of the morning in the world of insomnia that I've made for myself I start to contemplate life and I wanted to share this with PM because I've come to respect a lot of you and have even come to think of some of you as friends. These are my thoughts from roughly 6am to 7:15am strewn out across the page. I hope that someone gets something out of my ramblings and my thoughts. If that can happen, then this was a success, but if nothing else it's something to read, right?
What is life? What is it really? Do you really experience life or is your life built around your own experiences? I'm only 22 years old, but I've lived a life that most wouldn't want to live, but others would love to be in. Life is what you make it. I want to delve into this subject to not only clear my own head, but to also involve different members and their opinions on what life really is, what feelings really are, and who we actually are as people. I'm going to go through many different aspects of life that help shape us as people and help shape different people's lives.
Money:
In my life I've been poor and I've had wealth. That's not to say that I myself have had wealth or poverty, but rather my family. I've noticed one thing though over the years... money doesn't buy you happiness. It buys some people an easier route to finding true happiness, but then for others they don't need money to help find happiness. These people rely on others to help shape what they see as their own happiness. Money in and of itself is worthless. It's just paper that humans have put a value on. Some people make their entire lives based around money and the value, but lose their own core values in the process. Money takes precedence over family, love, and the lives of people around them. Money can corrupt, or at least the idea of money can corrupt. Money has been equated with success now for as long as I can remember. To the masses having money is seen as success, but is that the true meaning of success? What about being a successful father? Maybe a successful mother, daughter, son, or child? What are those successes? Teaching your child how to walk. Seeing the child's first steps are meaningful to a person and a thing of true accomplishment. Is that not success? Is that not something to be proud of? What success means to each individual is different. Much of my life I have associated money with success, but as I age I realize that money isn't everything. It's about relationships. I'm not talking sexual or intimate, but rather relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. Caring for others and being there when they need me. That's what makes me successful. Money is just the icing on the proverbial cake of life that makes it easier for me to be there for people and take care of them. The money I make in this life doesn't go to me, but to the happiness and well-being of the people closest to me, be it family or future children or what-have-you. What does money mean in your life?
Family:
Family means something different to everyone. To some people it means their biological parents, a father and a mother. This is essentially the scientific idea of parents. 23 chromosomes from one parent and 23 from the other. There are a great deal of people who view this as greatest bond in the world. The bond between a mother and a child is viewed as the strongest bond in the world. Who do they usually give the child to when a divorce occurs? Unless the mother is raging lunatic with a drug habit, they tend to give it to the mother. But what about those people whose biological family left them or abused them? What do these people view as family? Typically these people cling to relationships with either the opposite or the same sex, or they cling to friendships. They view the people around them as extended family. When you can't find solace in your household, you're going to search out to find something that means something to you and something comfortable. This tends to be friendships. These are the people that are there for you when you need them. These people take care of you when you're ill (not strictly speaking physically here, but also emotionally or mentally) and call to make sure you're okay. Family is an idea. Inheritance of genes is just something you get when you develop from an embryo to a zygote to a fetus to a born baby. Family is what you make it. I'm closer to my mom and dad than anyone I know. They've been there for me throughout my entire life and my dad works upwards of 80 to 100 hours a week just to give me a better life than he has. I cherish every single moment I spend with him and I think that when he dies my entire world will shatter, at least for a period of time. That is family. What does family mean to you?
Communication:
I've had what has been clinically diagnosed as a medium to severe stutter since I was in the second grade. Communication is hard for me. The internet has been a way for me to bond with people without the anxiety of that first meeting. The anxiety has been so bad that I will literally not go certain places because I have to speak to people. It's so bad when new teachers who don't know me do that whole "go around the room and introduce yourselves" thing I will literally start panicking even if I'm on the complete other side of the room of where it starts. The people at different places around town know exactly what I want when I walk in their establishments because I've made my prescience known, but not on my own terms. It's a blessing some ways because it's made me who I am today, but it's also a curse because I can't walk up to someone and start a conversation. It's hard because when someone I don't know well talks to me I freeze up and I'll even tell people I don't know the answer to something when I could go on a 30-minute rant explaining it in more detail just because I don't want to put them through the pain of having me sit there and stutter and stammer like I'm Michael J. Fox on a turn-table. It's also because of the rejection. Some people say "slow down" or "it's okay, take your time." None of that helps. I went through 10 years or so of speech therapy and I still stutter just as bad today as when the first day it began. I could literally be a speech therapist if I wanted to. I know that much about it. It's crippling to some and it makes it harder to find people I trust and people who will accept me for me, but you know what the real amazing thing is? I work through it. I've accomplished a great deal of what I want to do because I haven't given up. Communication is so important in this world. What do people who end up going into job titles always hear? Communication is important. It can help you rise to the highest peaks of what we as people know as the business world, or it can put you in the poor house just because you don't communicate well with others. I've seen communication, or the lack of it, ruin marriages and keep life long bonds alive. Sometimes it may be better to keep your mouth shut, but then again at other times it's the best thing for a relationship (once again not speaking in purely romantic/sexual/intimate here, but any relationship between two people). Look at your life and ask yourself... How important is communication in my life?
Pain:
For years I've subscribed to the idea that pain is what makes us human. Pain is what makes the world feel. Without pain, without suffering, we wouldn't know what joy is. The world would have no idea what feeling is. Speaking in purely scientific terms pain is essentially feeling. Our skin is many layers deep and we can only feel because of the sensitivity of the deeper layers. Is this not pain? Pain allows us to feel all sorts of different sensations. Pain in the terms of love and intimacy can bring different people to different conclusions. The emotional pain of losing someone you love or having someone leave you can bring you to the depths of despair and self-disgust. It shows you the real depths and rock bottom of human emotion. This type of pain can bring someone to the point of putting a gun in their mouths or as they're driving thinking about how easy it would be to just let go of the wheel and hit the gas harder to make sure they wouldn't live through that instance that the car hits the pole. I've personally been to that point. I may be young, but I believe that I have felt love and the pain of losing someone I care about. They say you only get three great loves in your life, and at this point I feel like I've already been through the spectrum of one of them. I was depressed for months and wanted to end it many days, but from that I found the depths that pain can bring you to. I feel that that pain made me a better person. It showed me the depths of pain, but with that it showed me how great I can feel on the other side of the spectrum. Pain allowed me, and I'm sure has allowed others, to feel alive.
Of course we also have to look at the other side of the pain spectrum as well. We as bodybuilders and people who train to reach the heights of what we can really call the epitome of what we feel our bodies can do and look like. To reach those places we have to go through the pain of training and some people the pain of eating. We work through the pain to get the results we want, but over time we've learned to love the pain. The pain of training is something we've come to associate with pleasure (endorphins aside of course). Some people may view this as sick, but others view it completely differently. Different people view it as an escape. So in this instance, pain acts as an escape from the rest of the world. We go to our own "safe zones" or "caves" to endure the pain of training to find that balance in life. This pain has shaped me into becoming more confident in myself and a more outgoing individual. Of course most of the time I am reserved due to the speech impediment and my height (I'm only 5'2 and 175 or so). People make jokes and people stare, but at the end of the day I feel better about myself for going through this pain of training. It has brought me to a new realm of happiness and has shaped my future career paths (I'm double majoring at a major university in Kinesiology with a double concentration in exercise science and exercise leadership, and Dietetics, which will eventually lead me to getting my RD and becoming a registered dietitian as well with all the other different career options I want to do before I die). This pain is part of who I am. How does pain affect your life or shape you as a person?
Love:
On the complete opposite side of the spectrum (at least in the general public's eyes of course... since we know that pain can equal love) we have love. Love can make people kill and love can make people save people's lives. Love can bring you to the depths of the human emotion (the sadness when someone dies or when your loved one leaves you) or to the highest points of the human emotional spectrum (the love you find with another person, of course in this instance as well we could be looking at the love we find in ourselves as well... it's all open to interpretation). Love is the same thing as pain. It lets us feel alive. You love family, you love friends, you love what you do, and you love to train. Be it an animal who you grew up with or the crazy uncle making fart jokes at Thanksgiving dinner, you love. Love makes people do crazy things, but love also makes people give the world to others. Through the power of love my dad works so hard to give me what I have today. Through the power of love I come home unannounced just to see the look on his face when he sees me walking in the front door. Love is what you make it. What would you do for love? What does love mean to your life? How has it shaped you as a person?
Conclusion:
In this life we have different feelings and experiences that shape who we are. I've learned over the years that you're alone in this world. Nobody can be in your head. You're the only person in your head who has thoughts, can express them, and who can conjugate different ideas in your own head. Once you wake up and before you go to bed, you're the only person in your life, but through this life and the experiences that we go through as human beings we find some sort of hope. This hope is that at some point we can impact another person's life and hope that they impact ours just as much. Relationships, money, love, and pain are only small parts in a huge spectrum of what make us up as human beings and what can make our lives shine or fade away. Life is complex and hard at times, but it can give people so much joy that their faces hurt from smiling so big. I'm going to leave this with a quote from Garden State that I think truly sums up what life is.
"I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It’s real, and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it's sort of all we have"
As I sit here in the early hours of the morning in the world of insomnia that I've made for myself I start to contemplate life and I wanted to share this with PM because I've come to respect a lot of you and have even come to think of some of you as friends. These are my thoughts from roughly 6am to 7:15am strewn out across the page. I hope that someone gets something out of my ramblings and my thoughts. If that can happen, then this was a success, but if nothing else it's something to read, right?
What is life? What is it really? Do you really experience life or is your life built around your own experiences? I'm only 22 years old, but I've lived a life that most wouldn't want to live, but others would love to be in. Life is what you make it. I want to delve into this subject to not only clear my own head, but to also involve different members and their opinions on what life really is, what feelings really are, and who we actually are as people. I'm going to go through many different aspects of life that help shape us as people and help shape different people's lives.
Money:
In my life I've been poor and I've had wealth. That's not to say that I myself have had wealth or poverty, but rather my family. I've noticed one thing though over the years... money doesn't buy you happiness. It buys some people an easier route to finding true happiness, but then for others they don't need money to help find happiness. These people rely on others to help shape what they see as their own happiness. Money in and of itself is worthless. It's just paper that humans have put a value on. Some people make their entire lives based around money and the value, but lose their own core values in the process. Money takes precedence over family, love, and the lives of people around them. Money can corrupt, or at least the idea of money can corrupt. Money has been equated with success now for as long as I can remember. To the masses having money is seen as success, but is that the true meaning of success? What about being a successful father? Maybe a successful mother, daughter, son, or child? What are those successes? Teaching your child how to walk. Seeing the child's first steps are meaningful to a person and a thing of true accomplishment. Is that not success? Is that not something to be proud of? What success means to each individual is different. Much of my life I have associated money with success, but as I age I realize that money isn't everything. It's about relationships. I'm not talking sexual or intimate, but rather relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. Caring for others and being there when they need me. That's what makes me successful. Money is just the icing on the proverbial cake of life that makes it easier for me to be there for people and take care of them. The money I make in this life doesn't go to me, but to the happiness and well-being of the people closest to me, be it family or future children or what-have-you. What does money mean in your life?
Family:
Family means something different to everyone. To some people it means their biological parents, a father and a mother. This is essentially the scientific idea of parents. 23 chromosomes from one parent and 23 from the other. There are a great deal of people who view this as greatest bond in the world. The bond between a mother and a child is viewed as the strongest bond in the world. Who do they usually give the child to when a divorce occurs? Unless the mother is raging lunatic with a drug habit, they tend to give it to the mother. But what about those people whose biological family left them or abused them? What do these people view as family? Typically these people cling to relationships with either the opposite or the same sex, or they cling to friendships. They view the people around them as extended family. When you can't find solace in your household, you're going to search out to find something that means something to you and something comfortable. This tends to be friendships. These are the people that are there for you when you need them. These people take care of you when you're ill (not strictly speaking physically here, but also emotionally or mentally) and call to make sure you're okay. Family is an idea. Inheritance of genes is just something you get when you develop from an embryo to a zygote to a fetus to a born baby. Family is what you make it. I'm closer to my mom and dad than anyone I know. They've been there for me throughout my entire life and my dad works upwards of 80 to 100 hours a week just to give me a better life than he has. I cherish every single moment I spend with him and I think that when he dies my entire world will shatter, at least for a period of time. That is family. What does family mean to you?
Communication:
I've had what has been clinically diagnosed as a medium to severe stutter since I was in the second grade. Communication is hard for me. The internet has been a way for me to bond with people without the anxiety of that first meeting. The anxiety has been so bad that I will literally not go certain places because I have to speak to people. It's so bad when new teachers who don't know me do that whole "go around the room and introduce yourselves" thing I will literally start panicking even if I'm on the complete other side of the room of where it starts. The people at different places around town know exactly what I want when I walk in their establishments because I've made my prescience known, but not on my own terms. It's a blessing some ways because it's made me who I am today, but it's also a curse because I can't walk up to someone and start a conversation. It's hard because when someone I don't know well talks to me I freeze up and I'll even tell people I don't know the answer to something when I could go on a 30-minute rant explaining it in more detail just because I don't want to put them through the pain of having me sit there and stutter and stammer like I'm Michael J. Fox on a turn-table. It's also because of the rejection. Some people say "slow down" or "it's okay, take your time." None of that helps. I went through 10 years or so of speech therapy and I still stutter just as bad today as when the first day it began. I could literally be a speech therapist if I wanted to. I know that much about it. It's crippling to some and it makes it harder to find people I trust and people who will accept me for me, but you know what the real amazing thing is? I work through it. I've accomplished a great deal of what I want to do because I haven't given up. Communication is so important in this world. What do people who end up going into job titles always hear? Communication is important. It can help you rise to the highest peaks of what we as people know as the business world, or it can put you in the poor house just because you don't communicate well with others. I've seen communication, or the lack of it, ruin marriages and keep life long bonds alive. Sometimes it may be better to keep your mouth shut, but then again at other times it's the best thing for a relationship (once again not speaking in purely romantic/sexual/intimate here, but any relationship between two people). Look at your life and ask yourself... How important is communication in my life?
Pain:
For years I've subscribed to the idea that pain is what makes us human. Pain is what makes the world feel. Without pain, without suffering, we wouldn't know what joy is. The world would have no idea what feeling is. Speaking in purely scientific terms pain is essentially feeling. Our skin is many layers deep and we can only feel because of the sensitivity of the deeper layers. Is this not pain? Pain allows us to feel all sorts of different sensations. Pain in the terms of love and intimacy can bring different people to different conclusions. The emotional pain of losing someone you love or having someone leave you can bring you to the depths of despair and self-disgust. It shows you the real depths and rock bottom of human emotion. This type of pain can bring someone to the point of putting a gun in their mouths or as they're driving thinking about how easy it would be to just let go of the wheel and hit the gas harder to make sure they wouldn't live through that instance that the car hits the pole. I've personally been to that point. I may be young, but I believe that I have felt love and the pain of losing someone I care about. They say you only get three great loves in your life, and at this point I feel like I've already been through the spectrum of one of them. I was depressed for months and wanted to end it many days, but from that I found the depths that pain can bring you to. I feel that that pain made me a better person. It showed me the depths of pain, but with that it showed me how great I can feel on the other side of the spectrum. Pain allowed me, and I'm sure has allowed others, to feel alive.
Of course we also have to look at the other side of the pain spectrum as well. We as bodybuilders and people who train to reach the heights of what we can really call the epitome of what we feel our bodies can do and look like. To reach those places we have to go through the pain of training and some people the pain of eating. We work through the pain to get the results we want, but over time we've learned to love the pain. The pain of training is something we've come to associate with pleasure (endorphins aside of course). Some people may view this as sick, but others view it completely differently. Different people view it as an escape. So in this instance, pain acts as an escape from the rest of the world. We go to our own "safe zones" or "caves" to endure the pain of training to find that balance in life. This pain has shaped me into becoming more confident in myself and a more outgoing individual. Of course most of the time I am reserved due to the speech impediment and my height (I'm only 5'2 and 175 or so). People make jokes and people stare, but at the end of the day I feel better about myself for going through this pain of training. It has brought me to a new realm of happiness and has shaped my future career paths (I'm double majoring at a major university in Kinesiology with a double concentration in exercise science and exercise leadership, and Dietetics, which will eventually lead me to getting my RD and becoming a registered dietitian as well with all the other different career options I want to do before I die). This pain is part of who I am. How does pain affect your life or shape you as a person?
Love:
On the complete opposite side of the spectrum (at least in the general public's eyes of course... since we know that pain can equal love) we have love. Love can make people kill and love can make people save people's lives. Love can bring you to the depths of the human emotion (the sadness when someone dies or when your loved one leaves you) or to the highest points of the human emotional spectrum (the love you find with another person, of course in this instance as well we could be looking at the love we find in ourselves as well... it's all open to interpretation). Love is the same thing as pain. It lets us feel alive. You love family, you love friends, you love what you do, and you love to train. Be it an animal who you grew up with or the crazy uncle making fart jokes at Thanksgiving dinner, you love. Love makes people do crazy things, but love also makes people give the world to others. Through the power of love my dad works so hard to give me what I have today. Through the power of love I come home unannounced just to see the look on his face when he sees me walking in the front door. Love is what you make it. What would you do for love? What does love mean to your life? How has it shaped you as a person?
Conclusion:
In this life we have different feelings and experiences that shape who we are. I've learned over the years that you're alone in this world. Nobody can be in your head. You're the only person in your head who has thoughts, can express them, and who can conjugate different ideas in your own head. Once you wake up and before you go to bed, you're the only person in your life, but through this life and the experiences that we go through as human beings we find some sort of hope. This hope is that at some point we can impact another person's life and hope that they impact ours just as much. Relationships, money, love, and pain are only small parts in a huge spectrum of what make us up as human beings and what can make our lives shine or fade away. Life is complex and hard at times, but it can give people so much joy that their faces hurt from smiling so big. I'm going to leave this with a quote from Garden State that I think truly sums up what life is.
"I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It’s real, and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it's sort of all we have"
Last edited: