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O/T- need advice, potentially serious problem

Slowmoe

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First off, I need to say that I am a substance user/ abuser. Typically recreationally. And please, no negative comments because I feel like a piece of shit already, and have already lined up outpatient drug counselling with drug testing and all. So,

My problem. Big problem:

A few months back, I was out on a weekend binge, ran out of cash and used my company credit card to obtain funds. Basically I used the card to fuel someone's vehicle in exchange for cash. I was able to BS my way out of it with my boss, acted like my debit card got shut off after a weekend in N.Y., I was out of gas and had no backup cash or cards. I paid the company back almost immediately, so to me it wasn't that big a deal.

Apparently it was a pretty big deal to my boss. The cardholder policy explicitly states no personal use of card. So I assured him I would get a backup card and that it wouldn't happen again.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Same exact shit. You are probably thinking, what an idiot. And you'd be right. BUT, trust me when I say I wasn't in my right mind when I made the decision.

So within 2 weeks, I have to submit the expense report to my boss, and I expect him to not be very happy with me, likely get fired.

My current plan of action is to come clean, explain my problem and get into some sort of outpatient rehab, and basically pleas with him not to fire me. Problem is, he is old, 70ish and I assume that if I admit to any kind of substance abuse, he will look down on me and possibly fire me anyways.

He already has grounds to terminate me based on violating the cardholder policy. SO I don't really have any sort of legal defense.

I am freaking out about this, in the process of closing on a home in a couple of weeks and I can't afford to get fired. It was an incredibly stupid decision but again I was not thinking like a rational person, I was thinking like an addict who did what it took to get my next fix. I am going to do the rehab thing regardless.



I guess I was just hoping to get some advice, I'm desperate and cannot think of any solid way to save my ass. What would you do in my situation?

Like I said, please, please no negative comments, I feel like a piece of shit already and have already lined up substance abuse counselling. Thanks in advance.
 

lep100

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I'd lie my ass off if I'm honest. Report the card as stolen immediately, unless you've used it since. They'd need solid grounds to fire you, I don't know your company, but if it's of any reasonable size, HR will get involved and you certainly wouldn't be fired outright, even with the previous violation. Did you get an official warning?

And yeah, get to rehab.
 

Slowmoe

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I thought about reposting it stolen, but I was on camera swiping it so if they did an investigation I would be screwed. Probably go to jail for fraud or something.

Not really an option. Thanks for the reply though and yes I am.
 

Bio

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Bad situation. Go to your doctor and have him/her refer you to a substance abuse facility. Use FMLA, which is good for 90 days. Let HR know how much the job means to you. Then get clean and stay clean. They definitely can't fire you while you're out. Not sure if disability pay will help you make your house payment. Hopefully they don't let you go once you return. Not sure where the law falls on this.
 

Slowmoe

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Bad situation. Go to your doctor and have him/her refer you to a substance abuse facility. Use FMLA, which is good for 90 days. Let HR know how much the job means to you. Then get clean and stay clean. They definitely can't fire you while you're out. Not sure if disability pay will help you make your house payment. Hopefully they don't let you go once you return. Not sure where the law falls on this.
Thanks bro. If I’m not mistaken, FMLA doesn’t take effect unless you’re with a company for at least 12 months. I’ve been with them about 6.
 

Slowmoe

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Any and all advice welcome:(
 

Slowmoe

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Should I tell my boss ASAP?

Should I enroll in rehab first so I have proof?

Should I make up some genius BS story?

Shit man. I haven’t lost a job in 10 years. And this is a dream job. I have GOT to fix this fuck up somehow.
 
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Thaistick

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Sounds like if you lie you're just making it worse. I think the best thing for YOU is to enter rehab. Job or not you have to get clean. I'm speaking from experience. This will just keep repeating otherwise, that's how addiction works.
 

Slowmoe

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Thanks man, I know the importance of rehab and breaking this cycle, and I appreciate you taking the time to post that. I just need to save this job at all costs. I couldn’t afford this new mortgage with any other job. I’ve already broke my lease, I have to be out of this house by the 15th of next month.

I’m thinking I should just plead with my boss, explain my situation and how important this job is to my family and hopefully he can find it in his heart not to fire me. I’m a good employee, turn in good work, rarely call in, it’s just these two fucking black eyes I have.
 
Last edited:

Slowmoe

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Not to mention, both of my parents have passed away, I have a mentally challenged brother in a group home across the state that we are in the process of getting transferred here. So much going on here, it was a terrible time for me to be an idiot.

If you were going to talk to your boss about this, would you lead with all the new and exciting things in your life, then break the news to him.... or lead with the bad news... man, I’m just not good at stuff like this😣
 

Slowmoe

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OK my wife actually came up with a good idea. I'll just say that she lent me her debit card which looks identical and I grabbed the wrong one by accident.

And since I only use the card when on out of town business I can tell my boss I will leave it home unless I go on a business trip, that way it doesn't happen again.

Then explain to him the house situation and the situation with my brother and plead with him to let me keep my job.

Then I would just leave the card with my wife to prevent that from happening again if I ever do relapse.

How's that sound?
 

maldorf

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I think you are probably better off telling the truth and then tell him how much this job means to you and your family. You might even mention your brother coming to live here and I assume he needs some financial help?

I think it is too late for making up a story like the one your wife came up with because this has already happened once. If it were the first time then I would say yeah, do it. Better off being honest and telling him about you going into rehab. Im going to assume youll have to miss work anyhow when you are in the facility.

What kind of man is he? Hopefully you know what his character is like. Most people appreciate honesty. Is this a small business that he owns or is he just your boss at a big firm?
 

felixx

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Came across this thread just now and the story really got into me. I wonder if OP kept his job. Or I hope he got into rehab, hence the lack of response for months. Anyway, for situations like this, it's much better to consult a lawyer, that's right. But it doesn't hurt to education yourself on laws that may help you won over your boss (if the situation requires). This one article I've read talks about unfair dismissal. And even though I now that wouldn't actually be the case here as you really did something wrong, at least you get to know the proper sanction, terms and reasons of getting dismissed/fired.
 

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