o/t old joke to help start the weekend off right

[JustWannaBeHuge]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

 

[K1]

Nice one bro........

 

[littlemack]

ahhahahhahaaha. Just read that to my girlfriend. We're laughing. hahahhahaha
Good one!

 

[Fullybuilt]

Here's one for yah?

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand??

 

[Fullybuilt]

So she can moan with the other

 

[Kahn]

This guy is duck hunting with friends in Texas and bags one. He gets all happy and goes to climb the fence to retreive it and a farmer idles by on is tractor. The farmer speaks up and says whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing? The dude say I'm duck hunting and was hopping the fence to get it. The farmer says that duck is on my land so its my duck, get off my fence. The guy syas old man, I'm a trial lawyer from New York city and if you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue your ass for everything you're worth. The farmer say, well sir, that very well may be true but you're in Texas now and we do things the Texas way. New York says what the hell does that mean? The farmer replies we settle disputes the Texas way, the three kick rule. We take turns kicking each other three times each till one of us quits or gives in. New York eyes the guy up and thinks, shit, this old man has to be 60, I'll fuck him up. As soon as he says OK the first kick drills him right in the balls. The lawyer drops to his knees and the farmer kicks him right in the face almost tearing his nose off. He falls back and thinks I have to quit, this old man is going to kill me. The last shot buries a boot in his kidney and he pisses himself. He's laying there all bloody and piss soaked and he remembers, hey, thats three. Its my turn. I'm going to hurt this fucking guy. He staggers to his feet and says alright old man, thats three, now its my turn. The farmer eyes him up and says, nah, fuck it, I quit, you can have the duck.


i've told it before so sorry if you've heard it, its a good joke though.