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O/T politically correct BS has gone too far

wolverine

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Play nice, kids
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist


We are one step closer toward raising a generation of paste-devouring Ralph Wiggums.


Is this what you want, wussies?
If you thought some schools went overboard when they banned dodge ball last year, consider this: A Santa Monica elementary school principal recently banned tag, saying the game can only be played under the strict supervision of physical education teachers and not at all during the lunch hour recess. That's due to: one, the risk of injury; and two, a "self-esteem issue," because whoever is "it" could be considered a "victim."

"We had some children who were not playing 'it' appropriately," Franklin elementary principal Pat Samarge said, adding that "Little kids were coming in and saying, 'I don't like it.' Children weren't feeling good about it."

Well, I should hope not. Tag is about the lamest of the playground games, involving none of the requisites of real sports: a ball, violence, fantasy leagues, fanatical Brazilians or corrupt French judges.

Every kid knows that chasing someone around the playground and trying to tag them isn't nearly as much fun as just standing there and throwing a rubber ball at their skull. That's why dodge ball is such a great game. It requires agility, lightning reflexes, hand-to-eye coordination, superb aim and a high pain threshold. Frankly, dodge ball is so entertaining it's amazing it hasn't caught on beyond the schoolyard. Imagine a game where Roger Clemens is supposed to hit Mike Piazza with a ball that Piazza can immediately fire back at Clemens, and you get just a taste of what dodge ball could be like at the professional level. I'm telling you, take dodge ball professional, and this company would have to add ESPN3 to the schedule.

And dodge ball is as peaceful as an Amish barn-raising compared with other popular schoolyard sports.

There is a certain sport that begins with the word "smear," where the object is not to gently "tag" someone, but instead to hunt him down in packs, tackle him to the ground, pile on the bodies and inflict pain until whoever is "it" -- and in this case, I think you could accurately use the term "victim" -- finally lets go of the ball. Or loses consciousness, whichever occurs first. Then someone else picks the ball up and runs away, while the bloodthirsty mob gives chase as if he were carrying an armful of Zotz, Sweet Tarts and Three Musketeers bars. It is an absolutely senseless game. No points are scored, and the only ones who win are those who emerge without a concussion, a cast or a ruptured spleen. It's terrific.

Another great game our school played was something we called "squish 'em." It was an apt name for a simple game. One team would crowd at the top of a landing of stairs. The other would rush up the stairs and crush their opponents against the railings until they cried like figure skaters, felt their limbs go numb and begged for mercy while their faces turned blue. Then we would change places and do it again.

Now, when I was a kid, I wasn't aware these games were inflicting any long-term physical and emotional scars (the nuns were responsible for those). I thought the games were just fun. Then again, I thought "The Six Million Dollar Man" was great, too.

Thank God, we live in more enlightened times, guided by the gentle wisdom of child psychologists, school administrators and Dr. Phil. I now realize these games scarred me deep down with emotional trauma I wasn't even aware of until undergoing hypnotism therapy that drew out my repressed memories.

To protect our children, these people will rid our playgrounds of any game that carries any risk of injury, trauma or sweat. No tag. No dodge ball. And come to think of it, no jump rope, either. Not only can children trip while jumping in place, they also are susceptible to repetitive stress injuries while twirling the jump rope. Better to replace it with "rope." No jumping or twirling. Instead, children would create wonderful belts, necklaces and wall hangings by tying the rope in macramé knots.

No tether ball, either. The ball could hit someone in the head. Better to replace with "Tether." No ball. Just a rope tethering the children to the pole so they can't wander off and hurt themselves.

Even those games might prove too dangerous, though. When you get right down to it, there isn't a competitive game in existence where there isn't a "loser," nor is there a physical activity that doesn't bear some risk of injury. Even coloring books carry dangers (think paper cuts).

It's better to avoid that whole mess by swaddling the kids in layers of protective fleece and flannel like Randy in "A Christmas Story," doping them to the gills with Ritalin, then tying them up inside a Nerf-padded room. They can entertain themselves by playing with their Game-Boy cartridges and listening to Eminem, which is all the little bastards really want to do anyway.

Of course, when the kids are all so fat, lazy and sensitive that they have to pay for two seats on Southwest Airlines, we may have to take further appropriate action by suing someone.

Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com. He can be reached at [email protected].
 

buffman4

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WOLVERINE

what's next no lawn darts or jousting? seriously my brother was playing smear the queer at school was he was appox. 10 and was accidentally kneed in the head. it chipped a part of his scull and started hemorraging and he almost died. he had to have emergency brain surgery. BILL
 

wolverine

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Re: WOLVERINE

buffman4 said:
what's next no lawn darts or jousting? seriously my brother was playing smear the queer at school was he was appox. 10 and was accidentally kneed in the head. it chipped a part of his scull and started hemorraging and he almost died. he had to have emergency brain surgery. BILL

Okay, but should no kids be able to play because of that?


It's kind of like the Larry Flint debate. Would you give up your right to free speach just to shut him up?


And it's only tag for Christ's sake. How can they turn that into being a victim?
 

slide

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3 strikes and you're out?

To add a little to that post (which was great Wolverine, thanks) and the topic of competitive sports and losing...

Well, I work with an older guy whose son is about 7 and plays T-Ball/Baseball (one of the two). Now, I'm sure we all know how to play baseball, 3 Outs, 4 Balls = Walk, 3 X's = K, etc. In this league however (and from what I've heard, it's running rampant across the country), there are not 3 outs or walks or strikeouts. Every kid, every inning, gets to hit and when they go through the batting order, they switch. Also, they don't keep score so there are no winners and "losers." Personally, I think "losing" makes us better winners! But, apparently that's not what these administrators (former losers, always "it") want us to think.

---slide---
 

CUDA

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It is only going to get worse

Buff thats to bad about your brother, but how many kids in the whole country on every playground did something as terrible as that happen to.

I would love to see the percentages or a study on school yard accidents involving rougher games. I personally was hurt by the swings. I had my one front baby tooth knockled out and got two black eyes. Not serious injurys but just a couple in a long line of chiped teeth and broken and fractured bones.

Schools are getting to involved in my opinion. How about school districts drug testing student atheletes. Not for "juice" but for rec drugs. If you want to have drug tests test everyone. But that is an invasion of privicy. Forget about phds and child psycologists and let kids be kids. There are alot worse things in this world than a game of dodge ball.
 

Paul Bunyan

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Great post

We played all of those games and sometimes people got hurt pretty bad. Once we were playing smear the queer in my back yard and my stupid brother let the dog out. She bit one of my friends right in the face. Here's another good one "King of the Hill". I suffered a nasty cut on my face that required 22 stitches to close it up. Then there were the fist fights on the playground and in the neighborhood. I have some scars from those too. My dad always told me if I got kicked out of school for fighting I better have won the fight or I was getting a more serious ass beating at home. Once I got a bloody nose in a fight and my dad asked what the other guy looked like. I told him he won. He told me to go back and kick that kids ass or don't come back. Guess what, I went and kicked the fuckers ass.

Back in those days there was no such thing as "politcally correct". Life was much simpler back then.

PB
 

Growing Dad

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A Nation in decay.

It just goes on and on. The very fabric that built and holds us together as a Nation is quickly being unravelled. From the constant attacks on the Constitution to the "pussy=fiying" of our youth! It's out of control! It seems that nobody looks to the future to see what these bad decisions will do in the long run. It seems that we are a nation of decay and corruptness. I'm so sick of it. I weep for the future my children will live in. If there is a future! Even if I raise them right, with values, a belief in God, a competitive spirit etc. it won't be the right way anymore. These things that I hold dear have almost no meaning left. Just ask the Vegitarian, Athiest parents of three that live in the house accross from me, while they buy their sons black girl baby dolls to play with just to be Politically Correct and not to "impose" rolls on their children!
INSANITY!!!!
No matter what your beliefs are, you can be sure there's a dark force working diligently to destroy them.
I'm not a fanatic religious man. I don't even go to Church. But I believe in the MAN upstairs, and also that He AND the Devil walk among us.
I'm about ready to pack up my family and live the survivalist life in the woods somwhere! But I know there's nowhere to hide.
Shew!!! That felt good! Thanks for listening!
I will now continue to make myself and my family strong in Body and Mind!
Peace, GD
 

massmonster32

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Yup they are creating a world of overweight people. Its getting bad enough some kids the only exercise they get is in PE nintendo and Tv are taking over. MM
 

biggerthanyou

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it's absolute bullshit. and we wounder why we're the fatest out of shape country in the world. and all we're doing is making it worse day in and day out. thats why every fast food rest have the VALUE PACKAGE. just supersize your ass and the size of the heart attack your going to have in about 20 years. as far as the school shit goes, I'm only 22yrs old so I'm not not that far out of it. we used to have officials attend our wrestling practaces to make sure that we wern't trainning to hard and would time use at 2 hours. after that we were forced to stop training. and I'm sure all you guys that played sports remember "HELL WEEKS". well, we had to hide ours. two a days were against the rules. I just think thats it's bullshit. kids should be tought to train as hard as they can. becaused thats whats going to help them win. whats happens when these pussy ass kids hit the real world? none of them know or understand the idea of WORK ETHICS. so what do we do???? sorry for bitchin bros!
good luck and be safe....

bigger...
 

stevehnsn

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I'll tell you guys what. Let these school systems and pussy-ass parents deactivate their kids. Then, let parents like me and most of the people on boards like this, raise our kids the right way. There will always be competative sports for our kids to play. There will always be tough guys, where there are wussies. There will always be go-getters, where there are lazy couch potatos.

Personally, I'm going to enroll my son in martial arts and sports early on. I'm going to teach him about fitness and health. I'm going to teach him to be the tough guy and the go-getter. He will succeed in this world-growing-lame, let the others fail if they and their parents choose to be failures. Like it or not, the strong will survive and the weak will die out.
 

xcelbeyond

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Great Posts Bros!

This country (our government) is getting everything twisted around - WTF!!! The latest I heard is that the Pledge of Allegiance can't be stated in schools because it has "God" in it!! Don't people realize that our founding fathers that wrote the Declaration of Independence and Constitution started every meeting with prayer. The reason the Constitution says to separate Church from State is to avoid having the Church overtake the Government as the did in England, which is why our forefathers came over here and did not want that to happen!

I, like Growing Dad, consider myself a Christian, but don't go to Church - I haven't found one where there's not too many that are just a bunch of hypocrites.

When I went to school, You HAD TO take PE. Those that didn't feel that they could participate (I remember this fat kid was one) still had to dress down but sat out and got laughed out big time. Of course this was after I walked barefoot, 2 miles, and uphill both ways to school :D !

xcelbeyond
 

LATS

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GUYS, YOU KNOW HOW I HATE TO GET INVOLVED IN POLITICAL ARGUMENTS LOL. but, remember if you hate this politically correct swing the nation is taking, you have to vote these idiots out. they got there by being voted in and appointed to office. what a bunch of sissys we will be raising thanks to predominately liberal teachers and school board appointees. even if you do not align yourself with a party, remember not to vote for liberal candidates if this p.c. b.s. bothers you. my rant is over......for now lol
 

xcelbeyond

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LATS said:
GUYS, YOU KNOW HOW I HATE TO GET INVOLVED IN POLITICAL ARGUMENTS LOL. but, remember if you hate this politically correct swing the nation is taking, you have to vote these idiots out. they got there by being voted in and appointed to office. what a bunch of sissys we will be raising thanks to predominately liberal teachers and school board appointees. even if you do not align yourself with a party, remember not to vote for liberal candidates if this p.c. b.s. bothers you. my rant is over......for now lol
AMEN Bro! :D

xcelbeyond
 

preist943

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remember if you hate this politically correct swing the nation is taking, you have to vote these idiots out.
thats all well and good but who do you vote for when the other guy runing is an idiot too i think the bottom line is theres too many pussys raiseing kids and not enough real men and then theres the fact that alot of women are raiseing kids on there own wich is the way it has to be sometimes i know but without the imput of a dad a real dad kids suffer and before when someone was talking about the doll thing my wife bought my son a doll so he and my daughter could play togather when i saw it i walked right over picked it up and went straight to the trash and i told my wife were not raiseing a fag she thought i was the one that was nuts wtf?
 

Growing Dad

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stevehnsn

IMO-I don't think anyone is "just" wanting to sit back and bitch.
I do think we are just wanting to share and discuss something that really sucks. A discussion among friends. How we deal with the situation is individual and personal. Yes, action needs to be taken, to me...it's a given.
Peace, GD
 

warchild

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politically correct??

i agree!! hope you go to the polling booth and vote REPUBLICAN!!!
 

xcelbeyond

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Damn! It sounds like most of the bros here have their heads on straight and know what's going on! We can do our part and expect the best.

xcelbeyond
 

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