o/t Should I have bit my tongue?

[JustWannaBeHuge]

ok fellas.... here's the situation.

i am very eager to be my own boss again, as I have made a few threads about it. it was supposed to be up by at least the end of august at the lastest.

last night i drove my fiance and daughter over to "PopPop"s house. (fiance's dad, not mine). my fiance had to get suttin from her mother.

anyway me and my little girl raced and I won, or maybe she did.... so we get inside and there's his fat ass drinking E&J, the guy is a total drunk and he's a Superasshole when he's drunk, (normally he's just a regular asshole). anyway, our lil girl was trying to say suttin to him, next thing i know he's screaming at her like she's a fuckin two dollar whore who just infected him with hiv.

so i opened my mouth...needless to say...well things....alot of shit was said by both of us....thats when my girl grabbed me and told me to go outside to our truck, so fine, i got our lil girl and we went outside....
there i was sitting in the seat calming down....my lady comes out and says "he wants his money back and he doesn't want you over here anymore because of you "disrespecting" him in his house" (that was his words)
(the money in question was a couple grand we borrowed for the business...not alot, just a couple..i already gave it back btw)

and he was running his mouth outside saying shit like "i dont care if you're on steroids, i'll kick the shit outta you...blah blah blah" all the ramblings of a drunk.

he's old, fat and drunk. not trying to sound like an internet toughguy, but i woulda beat his ass.

now here's the problem...my brother(biz partner) is bitching cuz even tho it wasn't much money...it was still a couple grand we coulda used, he's saying i shoulda bit my tongue and walked out with my daughter.

i can't let this go for some reason, i always show people respect, esp. in their house, BUT him talking to a 4 yr old the way he did was totally uncalled for..oh and he said he was messin with her...WTF ever, you don't "mess" with a 4 yr old by talking to her like the way he did.

it's to late to turn back the clock and have done things differently, what i am saying is, did i f*&k up? or did i do what any father woulda done?

now some people are saying i need to go to anger management classes, i don't feel i am unable to control my temper, but this is the second time i have lost it concerning my daughter, a few weeks ago, we were at the local mall, and some black guys were acting like assholes, and our daughter came out of the store with her mom and black guy almost fell on top of her cuz he was clowning around...they went walking and the one said "the lil chinky girl got in my way"

my fiance is filipino and hawaiian, and our daughter tends to take her characteristics....and to be honest when i heard them call her a chink....well...let's just saying some shit happened at the mall and security was called. again, i'm not trying to sound like some tough internet guy, heck..i think i'm one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet...i try to help people out, (which i have done for her family numerous times btw) and i try to be an honest fella, if you treat me with respect i have no problem with showing you the EXACT same respect back.

my question is, am I in the wrong in either situation? and do you think I am "outta control" as someone in her family said.

JW
sorry for the post being so long btw.

 

[pacman]

Fuck him! glad you have gull to stick up for your daughter (and youself) Nobody shoul be trash talking to a 4 yr old like that.
good luck
pac

 

[Ivan]

I know

and understand what it is like to be an ass-kicker...I have a really bad problem with anger -- and have gotten a little better...in both situations you mentioned I can guarantee I would have left with my fists hot and wanting more.

I am glad you did not. I think you stood up for your little girl, so I commend you man. Also g'job on being able to keep your guns from firing..I have taken several anger management classes etc..
Basically you have to remember that this world is full of assholes, and people with whom you do not see eye-to-eye. Unfortunately, it is people like this that made me more and more anti-social...
But there are also a lot of good people, and you will have good times ahead, despite these minor set-backs.

 

[MikeS]

Its normal to stick up for you 4YO in either of these circumstances.
Just a coincidence that both incidents occurred in a short peroid of time, making you wonder if its just you.

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

thx guys, i guess i just needed to see what others thought...like mike s said just a coincidence that both happened so close to one another..... my girl asked if we should go and have my name changed to bruce banner last night, while she said it jokingly, i just kept wondering....

thx again

JW

 

[bigarms]

no and no. Just remember YOU are your childs protector and you did your job. NO 4yr old should have to take abuse like that from anyone and you stood up for her.....great job. It seems that some people can only abuse those who are weaker....he didn't want to take it up with you. Just one question to your GF family, would they keep their cool if you were to treat there daughter the same way. I suppose if they came over your house and you yelled at her, someone would say something to you.

Don't be to hard on yourself or let others put you down. You did the right thing.......hold your head up....your a great father.

 

[stackdizzy]

Yea dude thats your daughter man! Fuck your future father in law he is acting like a child! Dude you did a very good thing you will not sell your daughters self respect down the river for a few grand! Maybe you should try explaing that to your fiance that your daughter means more to you than some dough! Maybe you should tell her to go talk to her mom or dad and sort this issue out and that they were wrong! Good job dude your daughter is lucky to have such a caring dad! Dude I would give him a call and remain calm and apologize for yelling at him and tell him you would like to put this behind you two and tell him that you care most about your daughter and tell him that will never be taken away from you so you'd apreciate if he would not yell at her! He will understand and plus you fiance will be proud of you for doing it and who knows maybe he'll even reloan you the money (if you want that)! If anything it will ge you to on speaking terms again!

 

[RipD2DBone]

You did the right thing. Even if you had beaten his ass, that would have still be doing the right thing.

 

[crackerjack414]

All i have to say is u should have atleast gotten your daughter outside before getting into it. Thats the kind of family i grew up with and I can tell u one thing it defintly impacts the childs life a great deal. there are somethings u cant walk away from, u have to do what u believe is right. No one should fault u for that

 

[xcelbeyond]

some black guys were acting like assholes, and our daughter came out of the store with her mom and black guy almost fell on top of her cuz he was clowning around...they went walking and the one said "the lil chinky girl got in my way"

Sounds like you did the right thing to me. On the racial-type incident, I had that shit happen "to me" constantly when I was growing up - and Dad was never around when it happened.

These days, nobody gives me that shit to my face. When I was recently in downtown Atlanta, several different black guys walk up to me and feel my arms. One rather muscular-looking one and I end up nearly bumping into each other (due to crowd/circustances). He moves off the side and tells me to go ahead, saying that I'm bigger than him - LOL!!!

xcel

 

[preist943]

you did right bro people can say what they want to me and, ill prolly let it slide but fuck with my kids oh no ,id have beat the holey hell out of him no question i would have went ape shit .
dont let it bring ya down brother

 

[patk]

Hey bro....you're talking about your little girl here. I would have done the same, maybe worse if it was me. I think that you are a champion father for sticking up for your little girl like that. Take care.

patk

 

[massmonster32]

Phuck that anyone that talks like that to any child needs to be kicked in the teeth himself. I cant stand when I go to the store and someone has their damn kid in a diaper and the kid wants something and some catfish (trash) screams at the kid put it back we aint got no money for that and their buying cigerettes and beer. You did the right thing only thing is I would popped him one and then went outside. But your right to have handled it that way. MM

 

[slide]

Youve did the right thing on both accounts. Gotta protect the little ones first. As for the money, from what you described that individual would probably have held that over your head for years, so no need for that bullshit.

Shit happens, bro..it's not you. Good luck and take care!

-slide

 

[NuTsOe]

bro,fuck that drunk bastard for speaking to any child that way,
you did the right think & the two black guys,good job they
got what was coming, hope you didint let them get up
severe beatdown most definitley

 

[LATS]

BRO, YOU WERE NOT IN THE WRONG.. if the grandfather showed disrespect to his granddaughter, why should he get any respect in any way?? i can tell ya i have a 4 year old and a 1 year old..if anyone shows disrespect to them or makes them cry because of something mean being said to them...lord help them.....it would not be pretty. that being said, the only thing i can say is that you shouyld have taken the little one outside before any argueing..also, take the daughter a side and explain that "grandpa" is not feeking well and he did not mean to be bad to her. although it may not be true..the little one deserves to know that she did nothing wrong...as for the guys at the mall...they get no excuse.."chink" is not exceptable...i would have probably done the same thing.

 

[LEX]

I am a very mild tempered guy, come from a violent background and now can walk away from anything BUT something like that being said or done to my little girl, that is one of a few situations that I can see myself possibly loosing control, like LATS said god help you. I agree with your actions and Fuck anyone who doesnt, your job, at least mine is to protect my little girl. I dont think I coulda walked away from drunk grandpa till we were str8 about who's ass he can do what with and who he can verbally abuse. LEX

 

[JETHRO TULL]

You did well......now just go back and straighten his ass out.

Pick a time when he's alone and you don't have anyone with you. Since you are such a roid freak........go ahead and do it....see if he is able to beat your ass. Sometimes when these blow hard assholes are confronted privately they will just break down in tears. If not, beat his ass. As for some drunk blacks calling your daughter chinky?? It just shows me how intelligent a lot of those guys are. Some of the most prejudice people I have met have been people of color. I encounter it continually...my girl is native american.......YOu did fine.