Obese girlfriend

punzie · Jun 1, 2008

Ok so my girlfriend and I were great friends , befor i knew her she went to collage and gained alot of weight say about 75 over her ideal wight . I met her through a friend and she is great helping do things that other friends would not . She wanted to lose weight bad so i helped her exercise . I saw a picture when she was inshape and she was smoking hot . I remember when i took her for a walk in a cross country wood trail she was very excited with a glow in her eye , allready lost 25 pounds she was starting to get her figure back.
She moved in as friends then somewere along the way started dating. And became a couple. I had thought she would continue to lose weight and i would have a sexy awsome g-friend . Instead she went on a diet rollercoster and 2 years later she is still over eating . I cannot say anything about her eating habits if i do i am a shallow ass. I started to belive i was shallow beacuse everything else about this girl i really love . Then i did some deep thinking and i pictured all the bad health consicenses Obisity can bring . Possably unhealthy kids . Its extra hard for me beacuse her over eating and lack of exercise is a choice ..
So now we are still together have not had sex in like 3 monts I am only attracted to her eyes and smile . She constitly ask why no sex , I am honest with her and useally say something like you are unhealthy to your body and i hate that about you .
However everything else is faboulous with her ..
Every now and again i have a beatiful fit women talk to me and it is hard to not pursue her.. I want to be able to dress my g-friend up in victoria secret and buy her sexy little bikinis .. When i go to importent events like reunions i want her to be sexy not fat. Even if she was just a little thick i belive i would ask her to marry me ..With all this said really love everything else about her. I dont know what to do I am thinking about asking her to move out in hope she will take her obisity serious .. Its hard beacuse she is down about 25 pounds and when i try to keep her on track she says oh well everyone else says i look great . I think yes compared to 6 months ago but you should still lose more weight . that always starts a fight ... HELP this sucks

oldfella · Jun 2, 2008

This is a tough one! On One hand she has peers telling her she looks great and may actually do so. But she is overweight. many people will not tell someone the truth to their face. Being in the gym business and being in this environment has helped me to be a little more callous I guess you could say.

Example. I have this young woman coming to the gym, she is absolutely the best looking girl at my gym. Over weight but this girl will bowl you over with good looks. I have simply told her straight up that she is a stunner but needs to drop some weight. I also told her I will support her any way I can.

Your GF is overweight and she needs to be told this, in a good sort of way. it is a matter of being cruel to be kind. telling someone you love that they are obese or overweight is difficult. But the fact that you really care about their health and well being should be the real reason for concern here, yes we all want a sexy body hanging off our arms, girls included. But she needs to be reassured of your concern and love for her. She has issues and you need to be supportive here. Find out what her issues are and help her deal with them. It is a matter of opening up communication with her and talking it through.

punzie · Jun 4, 2008

oldfella said:
This is a tough one! On One hand she has peers telling her she looks great and may actually do so. But she is overweight. many people will not tell someone the truth to their face. Being in the gym business and being in this environment has helped me to be a little more callous I guess you could say.

Example. I have this young woman coming to the gym, she is absolutely the best looking girl at my gym. Over weight but this girl will bowl you over with good looks. I have simply told her straight up that she is a stunner but needs to drop some weight. I also told her I will support her any way I can.

Your GF is overweight and she needs to be told this, in a good sort of way. it is a matter of being cruel to be kind. telling someone you love that they are obese or overweight is difficult. But the fact that you really care about their health and well being should be the real reason for concern here, yes we all want a sexy body hanging off our arms, girls included. But she needs to be reassured of your concern and love for her. She has issues and you need to be supportive here. Find out what her issues are and help her deal with them. It is a matter of opening up communication with her and talking it through.

Thanks for the advice bro . I know if i am carring a little extra weight at times or want to make a certain lifting goal I put 110 percent into it . I act really hard on myself if i slip up just a little . I am starting to realise that this works great for me , but not for her ..

Her friends i think sabbatoge her diet sometimes saying she looks great just so there nice to her .. . I am probelly about 13 percent fat right now and on a chicken breast and veggie diet . In hope to get to about 5 percent . She and her friends think i have some kind of body image probelem beacuse 13 percent is not fat. So they will try to sabbatoge my diet to.. saying things like my weight watches lady said you can have a few beers .

Her diet is pretty good most of the time but she makes every excuse in the book to skip the gym. i am thinking of getting her some clomid ..

gearhead4life · Jun 5, 2008

heres my 2 cents:

you met her when she was heavy. You basically cant let yourself really love her becuase your trying to change her.

Think about it like this, if tomorrow this girl had an accident and was removed from your life forever would you really care? If you wouldnt be bothered than keep on giving her grief and making her feel bad about her weight and maybe she will get depressed enough to drop all the weight so your buddies will give you a high five becuase she looks good in a skirt. Otherwise, enjoy the short time you have on this earth with her or just dump her and let her find a guy who will love her and care about her fully like both her parents hoped for on the day that kid came into this world.

even if you dont say it to her, im sure she knows exactly how you feel. woman are strange creatures and always know what the man is thinking, but they dont let on.

i garuntee you if you stop worrying about the size of her of a couple minutes, and just think in your head what life would be like if you got a call she was in a terrible car accident and passed away, you will have a different perspective.

and on a side note, typically girls are the opposite of men with their weight. guys head to the gym the minute some girl calls them a fatass. girls however bury their heads in the sand and turn to food. it takes someone saying they look good for them to go off and try to look better. its backwards but the way it is.

good luck with everything man and just trying to give you a different outlook. im not a retard though, i know having a fat girlfriend must be a pain.

peace

GH4L

punzie · Jun 5, 2008

gearhead4life said:
heres my 2 cents:

you met her when she was heavy. You basically cant let yourself really love her becuase your trying to change her.

Think about it like this, if tomorrow this girl had an accident and was removed from your life forever would you really care? If you wouldnt be bothered than keep on giving her grief and making her feel bad about her weight and maybe she will get depressed enough to drop all the weight so your buddies will give you a high five becuase she looks good in a skirt. Otherwise, enjoy the short time you have on this earth with her or just dump her and let her find a guy who will love her and care about her fully like both her parents hoped for on the day that kid came into this world.

even if you dont say it to her, im sure she knows exactly how you feel. woman are strange creatures and always know what the man is thinking, but they dont let on.

i garuntee you if you stop worrying about the size of her of a couple minutes, and just think in your head what life would be like if you got a call she was in a terrible car accident and passed away, you will have a different perspective.

and on a side note, typically girls are the opposite of men with their weight. guys head to the gym the minute some girl calls them a fatass. girls however bury their heads in the sand and turn to food. it takes someone saying they look good for them to go off and try to look better. its backwards but the way it is.

good luck with everything man and just trying to give you a different outlook. im not a retard though, i know having a fat girlfriend must be a pain.

peace

GH4L

Thanks bro i did not look at it that way excellent points.. I belive you are right on about guys head to the gym and girls bury there head in the sand .
I just realise when i first met her and we were just friends i sapported her and just helped her exercise and we enjoyed it . Somewere along the way I became more demanding and probelly despreat for her to lose weight . She is presently on a good diet just not exercising . I am going to try to be sapportive about taking her to the gym with me . Like we were when we met..

gearhead4life · Jun 5, 2008

thats a good idea man. i went through the same exact thing with my wife. when we met she was smokin hot and actually the prom queen. after high school she put on some lbs. at first i didnt mention it but then it started to almost ruin things for me.

i started on her about the wieght just a little and it seemed to make the problem worse. years passed and then i was in a car accident. i found myself laying by the side of the road with the broken arm, leg and 4 ribs. right before i passed out all i could think about was her. i didnt care what happened to me or the pain i was in, i just wanted to be in her arms.

no matter how big and strong i was i couldnt do anything to help myself and honestly thought i was going to die. by the grace of god i pulled through and had an entire new perspective. when it comes down to it at the end of the day, looks fade, people change, and life is so very fragile and short. to worry myself about her looks and to make her upset and just not what i want to do with the short time i have on this earth.

i now spend every day thanking god she is by my side and letting her know every moment i can how much i need and love her. with the change i have made and the positivity she is getting, she is always in a good mood and feels great about herself. she now is so happy she wants to go out and go tanning, hit the gym, and get herself looking real good to reflect how she feels inside.

its ironic how things work out and you have to tell a heavy girl shes perfect for her to change and heavy guy hes gross for him to change.

at the end of the day, if you really love her, i garuntee you in 50 years you will regret making her feel bad about her size.

i certainly am not saying that its not a pain in the ass when your girl gets heavy, but if you really need her to drop those pounds so you can find her attractive and want to be sexual with her, the only way ive found to do it is let her know your so very proud of her each time she drops a little weight.

it also doesnt hurt to play the game backwards and to say to her you want to get in better shape and want her to support you. tell her you need to diet and go to the gym and need her to motivate you. that works good for me and my girl takes me to the gym and cooks nothing but healthy food for us under, thinking its to help me.

now my girl is no longer oversized at all and is a real head turner and things have never been better.

just remember bro, girls are very sensitive and can go to extremes when they feel bad abou themselves. if shes just someone your with for the time being dump her and get a girl who is already looking right for you. if shes someone you cant live without, just imagine what life would be like if she was gone or with some other guy and i promise your outlook will change.

good luck and god bless, and rememeber, god also invented strip clubs and massage parlors! LOL!

gh4l

abolish the weak · Jun 6, 2008

If it were me I'd drop her. Life is too short to go through it unattracted to somebody and have almost no sex life. It's human nature, as men we need sex. We're happier when we get sex. We are less likely to cheat when we get sex. See, I look at it the other way around. If the girl really loved you and wanted to be with you then she'd make herself attractive for you, not walk around like some fat slob eating ice cream all the time. This is going to be an ongoing problem, I can tell you that much right now. Your already questuioning it "Well I might marry her if she lost some weight" Not a good idea, she'll lose it long enough to get married and then blow up into a blimp. Then you guys will never have sex, argue all the time, eventually end up divorced or cheating on her fat ass, and then she'll take you for everything your worth. She needs to do it for herself first, or she'll never stick with it. She probably just does not care. OR OTHER WAY AROUND. You two never have sex because she is fat, but some sucker out there drunk at the bar will nail anything. So she cheats on you because you wont give her any. Not trying to cause probs man, just giving you some scenarios, I have a lot of friends and have seen shit like this happen.

gordo14 · Jun 6, 2008

First off......

Get a tread mill and strap her ass to it with some chains, put on a slight incline at 3 miles per hour....either she will exercise, or be draggged to death!!!!!!!!!!!! I was totally kidding, on a more serious note i have encountered somewhat of the same thing, was hot as hell when i met her, now six years into it she is 200 pounds, has a paid gym membership, and i have to force her to go on the weekends. Now i am still very much attracted to her, i love curves, however due to her own insecurity it has put a huge damper on our sex life. And made us both unhappy, and me almost aa cheater, which i have never been. Bottom line is love her for her, or leave her. Never enter into a relationship looking to change some aspect of the other person. It will never work. As far as getting healthy it will have to be a personal choice and commitment. She has to watch me and my kids have a good time at the pool and watch the other women ooglr me while she sits on her ass covering her fat up. Eventually she will get tired of this and make the chang4es on her own. Just my .02 cents.

punzie · Jun 6, 2008

thanks bros lots a good points and funny ones also. Well i tried the more sapportive role and it has only been about 3 days and she is allready coming to me asking about my diet how i was 6-2 280 now 6-2 215 with abs . She said alot of her friends compliment me to her . Point being she has taken a great intrest in my diet an exercise . She goes to weight watchers meeting once a week they have her buying 7 $ packedges of cookies that are like 100 calories then she complains she to tired to work out . She acctully said that she wants to sit down with me and have me make her a diet . I am very exctited about this .. I was thinking about 1500 cals mainly protein and under 70 carbs what do you guys think?? She is about 5-9. 5-10 and probelly about 210 ish . I think i will have her just walk on a tred mill on a incline for a few weeks . I told her that i could knock 5 -10 pounds off her in the first week . SHe is really a great person. I just think i will end up cheating or misrable if she remains fat ..

punzie · Jun 6, 2008

gearhead4life said:
heres my 2 cents:

you met her when she was heavy. You basically cant let yourself really love her becuase your trying to change her.

Think about it like this, if tomorrow this girl had an accident and was removed from your life forever would you really care? If you wouldnt be bothered than keep on giving her grief and making her feel bad about her weight and maybe she will get depressed enough to drop all the weight so your buddies will give you a high five becuase she looks good in a skirt. Otherwise, enjoy the short time you have on this earth with her or just dump her and let her find a guy who will love her and care about her fully like both her parents hoped for on the day that kid came into this world.

even if you dont say it to her, im sure she knows exactly how you feel. woman are strange creatures and always know what the man is thinking, but they dont let on.

i garuntee you if you stop worrying about the size of her of a couple minutes, and just think in your head what life would be like if you got a call she was in a terrible car accident and passed away, you will have a different perspective.

and on a side note, typically girls are the opposite of men with their weight. guys head to the gym the minute some girl calls them a fatass. girls however bury their heads in the sand and turn to food. it takes someone saying they look good for them to go off and try to look better. its backwards but the way it is.

good luck with everything man and just trying to give you a different outlook. im not a retard though, i know having a fat girlfriend must be a pain.

peace

GH4L

Wow bro that awsome I am going to reread this offten , I am glad you shared that ... I know when i may want to go back being a hard ass with her or just telling her how it is . Basically i would say something like "your fat by choice now lets go to work" wich works for me fine . I will remember this and be sapportive and complament her about reaching small goals . I was hesitant to start this thread but i am glad i did ....

tomuchgear · Jun 6, 2008

show her a picture of jamie eason. not a joke at all. my wife has had two kids. she doesnt look it by any means. well she started to get a bit of pudge goin in the tummy. her once very firm tone bottom started to not be so toned and firm. well it started to bother her. her self image started to mess with our life together. i still think she looks great. by the way my wife is a size four. when we first met she was a 00. so any way i told her if you dont like some thing about your self then start working out and change it. her excuse was i dont want to look like a dude. so i showed her a pic of jamie. very fit and beautiful women. she has been inspired since. we even had to wait in line at the damn arnold just to meet her. any way tellin some one what you dont like about them will never work. people will always tell them one thing. best way to approach it is to find out if she is happy with her. wich is better to have a girl who is a bit bigger or a girl who is then and unhappy. if her wieght is a health issue then yes you need to do some thing about it. also try explaining yourself and your diet to her. tell her its not a body issue but a goal you have set for your self. hell show her a pic of a guy with 5% bf. some people do better with some thing that they can see. good luck bro.