OT Dating women with children

[lookatpicture]

Any thoughts or experience on this subject. I just started dating a woman with children. 2 are almost teenagers and 1 is only three. This is a first for me. Sadly, most of the research I have found says don't do it because relationships are already complicated enough

 

[7_Deadly_Sins]

Something you should ask yourself is, are you ready to be a father and take on those duties/responsibilities?

Also remember that there are other women in the world, this lady could be the one for you, but just remember she could not be either.

I'm a big believer in just lettings things happen and unfold, everything happens for a reason. So just go with it.
Good luck.

 

[hellraiser27]

I have dated and am now dating a woman who has children. Everyone is different so don't prejudge the situation.
Just remember, her kids come first, not you. As long as she is a decent mother then you should be fine. Make sure that she is going to make time for you also. She has to have balance. You don't want to get involved in some high stressed situation.
Good luck bro!

 

[lookatpicture]

Something you should ask yourself is, are you ready to be a father and take on those duties/responsibilities?

Also remember that there are other women in the world, this lady could be the one for you, but just remember she could not be either.

I'm a big believer in just lettings things happen and unfold, everything happens for a reason. So just go with it.
Good luck.

This is great advice. I do keep telling myself to just live for the moment.

 

[Dave_19]

I think she would be more stable of a companion but may expect more from you in the end.

 

[sharksden69]

role reversal

First let me say.. I am speaking from experience.. If you like her take the chance on her.. it is hard being a single parent.. I have had custody of my two kids for last 3 years.. You think it is hard for a woman, try being a guy with two kids.. Women are worse than men, when it comes to dating someone with kids.. just don't rush into it blindly, and don't meet the kids right off...

 

[thebrick]

See how it goes. Don't go into it with preconceptions. Kids will definitely put new level it though. Part of this will hinge on how you "click" with her kids and how well you get along with them.

 

[topfuel]

It worked for me

I dated and then married a woman with two children and since then have adopted them as well. I am one of the fortunate ones that didn't have a family early in life and then married and became and instant family. It has certainly worked for me and I couldn't be happier but also remember it has to be the right mix or it won't work.
Good luck

 

[pimpman]

well when the kids are little older they tend not to accept you cause they recent the break up with mom and dad.other thing to think of she might love you but her kids will always come first before you.and when you try to disiplend them the real dad has a problem with it and make the relation ship hard at most time.but do what your heart tells you to do.its a 50 /50 chance of working out.just think about it.best of luck brother.

 

[abolish the weak]

I told myself I never would, and ended up marrying one with a daughter. she was 3 yrs old when I came into the picture. Woman with kids are def more relationship stable usually. They are already mature from being a parent and they are usually easier to click with. The negatives I've found are #1- getting the kid to listen to you and respect you cause they know your not their real dad (probably much harder with teens) and #2- putting up with the asshole ex. Mine used to like to call my wife a bitch over the phone and try to fidangle his paws into running OUR SCHEDULE. I kept my mouth shut for a long time in order to not5 complicate things, then one day I finally told him to STFU and not talk to my wife like that. For about the next 6 months the coward couldn't come to my house without bringing his Rottweiler with him. but thats ok, I got something that will eat his dog too

 

[VanR__]

I couldn't do it. I helped raise my sister's daughter for years and it was a total waste of time. The kid grew up and has not given a shit about me in years. Never again!

At my age, it's harder to find a quality girl that has no interest in kids as I do, but I found one...finally.

 

[notsobig32]

My wife and i both have kids from previous marriages and i have to say that it is absolutely tough. i love when the kids are here but three of them running around gets old after 5 days straight in a row. THe beauty of it is, that we only have them 50% of the time so........that means that we have 50% of our time to be wild and carefree!!!! =-)

 

[lookatpicture]

i'm really glad i asked this question on here because i respect and appreciate pm's members greatly. i thought that atleast a few of you would have some knowledge on this subject mostly because dating older women usually means that they have children. although, in todays world quite a bit of the younger women have children too.

 

[abolish the weak]

i'm really glad i asked this question on here because i respect and appreciate pm's members greatly. i thought that atleast a few of you would have some knowledge on this subject mostly because dating older women usually means that they have children. although, in todays world quite a bit of the younger women have children too.

Whats their real dads deal? is he still around or what?

 

[GoneForFuckingEver8]

lots of stuff to think about when a woman has children:

are they all by the same father, or by a bunch of different guys? this will tell if maybe she had a long-term husband or boyfriend, or if she was just a little ho

someone else said the kids will always come first, very true. i once dated a girl who was always willing to ditch her responsibilities with her kids for me, this made me not respect her (i literally had to remove her from my house telling her to go home and send her kids off to school, she lived with her mother and expected her mom to take care of her kids).

some woman may use their children as an excuse for everything, so anything that may arise she can just say she has to do something with the kids, and to this you are 'expected' to just say ok.

she may be more stable because of her children, not a wild party girl. stability = better relationships.

she may be looking for a father figure, and being that you are most likely a 'built' guy, she envisions you as this figure. while this is not necessary bad, if its the only reason she wants you its not good.

personally i dont reject a girl who has kids. i get to know them and see whats the deal. some moms are great! some are awful. just gotta be willing to take a bit of time to find out

 

[lookatpicture]

Whats their real dads deal? is he still around or what?

this is complicated. she was married to her high school sweetheart for many years to whom she had 2 children with. they got married way to young and things didn't work out. she got involved with another man, whom she had 1 child with, who ended up being abusive, so she left him. she has been raising 3 boys on her own and putting herself through college.

so you can see my dilemma. her story is so dramatic and very complicated but her personality and heart are of gold.

 

[Sesshomaru]

this is complicated. she was married to her high school sweetheart for many years to whom she had 2 children with. they got married way to young and things didn't work out. she got involved with another man, whom she had 1 child with, who ended up being abusive, so she left him. she has been raising 3 boys on her own and putting herself through college.

so you can see my dilemma. her story is so dramatic and very complicated but her personality and heart are of gold.

Dramatic? Sounds like shes been proactive about things and discarding stuff that hasnt worked out rather than staying with a dickhead hub. Shes out there getting her own by going through college while having kids, good for her.

Seriously, if her kids are teens, shes not looking for a dad (they might already have one) and she might not even let contact them until she feels good about you. Either way, most that have their shit together arent looking for dads. They want a bf and that has nothing to do with their kids.

Ive dated women with children and its all good.

 

[BigCracker]

Check this out.

http://failuresforgodesses.blogspot.com/2008/05/dont-date-single-moms-ever.html

 

[IRON37]

i only did it once. her girls were like 4-5 and didnt like me since i was the one who had their moms attention LOL. We just screwed a fe times and I told her I didnt want a full on relationship right now. And Im especially not ready for kids. A few weeks later she was already with some other dude. i think theyre engaged now haha..guess I dodged a bullet there

 

[Tom]

fwb only

friends with benefits is the only arrangement i would enter into with a single mom. as cliche as it sounds you have got to maintain your own space. dating in general for us older guys really sucks and getting into a relationship with a single mom with kids is often a major mistake....just my 2 cents....