OT: Monogamy, Ego, Hormones

[maldorf]

You ever have a woman cry after sex because it was such an intense emotional orgasm, she has major oxytocin dump and the tears of joy, pleasure, happiness just open up? Get back when that happens. P.S. That does not happen on one night drunk hook ups either.

My wife did that our first time and I thought something was wrong. It scared me!

 

[little slice]

It's not really a matter of IF I can do it. It's a matter of if I can do it and remain content and not hold a grudge against the relationship for "holding me back" from others. And yes, she has just about every quality I would want in a woman. At times I wish she was more inherently sexual, but to be honest we do a lot and she never turns me down, and her not being super sexual is part of why she hasn't been a hoe in the past lol.



One of the last girls I was with....after our last time having sex she did almost cry lol said she felt too vulnerable feeling that much and that she would have done anything for me in that moment...she was clearly affected by it. And she had fallen in love with me too.

Going back to the point of this thread, I agree with you, and unfortunately my next thought is "See, I could get with a hot 25 year old when I'm 40".....It's really a shame that I'm holding my girls age against her when she's just my age. Nothing that she can do about it and it's incredibly superficial and frankly ridiculous for a life partner but I am definitely very superficial :\



OK so you wouldn't take a girl seriously even if she'd only ever slept with 2 boyfriends she loved....yet you want to find a quality partner. So you want to find a virgin, but never marry her. You will therefore be her boyfriend, and you presumably will then sleep with her. So she gave it up freely to you. So then do you stop taking her seriously after she has sex with you? She's now a girl who has had sex with a fuckboy so you must no longer consider her quality right? What did she get from you, no real provisions right?

Do you actually not see the flaw in your logic? The only conclusion is you do not actually expect or want a long term partner because no female could be one you took seriously. Unless you never plan on having sex again, because by your very logic that woman becomes too low quality to be with once she's slept with you.

It is my firm belief that a woman's loyalty goes only as far as her (perceived) next best option

As a result, I'm going to keep my options open. I have no problem being somewhat exclusive with a woman who is halfway decent in quality... But I'm still keeping my options open.

Case in point, I was out with some buddies at a pool hall/bar years ago. One guy had just proposed to his girl, and she said yes. This girl seemed high quality... Great family, strong father figure... Innocent and virtuous. They had been together forever... They were like one being - Like two trees that had woven together over years and years

Anyways, babygirl goes to go get some more beers for the table, and I glance over and see her being chatted up by some random Chad. I smile and shake my head as Mr. Husband-to-be looks on in horror as she gives Chad her number and then shimmies back to our table with the biggest smile on her face

Long story short, she starts hanging out with Chad McStudMuffin behind my boys back, he finds out, etc. etc. poor guy was heart broken... They were #RelationshipGoals for every single person who knew them.

All those years gone.. The entire relationship gone in a flash over some 'gina tingles

Oh well

Enjoy her while she's around. She's not yours, it's just your turn

 

[little slice]

Of course I'm not saying that story is typical... But it certainly does happen

Women cheat like crazy lol.. Men do as well of course, but we aren't talking about men here

 

[maldorf]

Of course I'm not saying that story is typical... But it certainly does happen

Women cheat like crazy lol.. Men do as well of course, but we aren't talking about men here

You're acting like the majority of women are like that. That's not the case. Those women are in the minority. I'd like to think the same for men too. I'd also wager that a majority of divorces happen simply because the couple is incompatible and not because of infidelity.

 

[little slice]

You're acting like the majority of women are like that. That's not the case. Those women are in the minority. I'd like to think the same for men too. I'd also wager that a majority of divorces happen simply because the couple is incompatible and not because of infidelity.

Indeed, most women are not like this, but as my story indicates, they can become like this in an instant.... And then you're fucked (if you're married).

Regardless, women still initiate the vast majority of divorces... And why wouldn't they? They get huge cash payouts. She will hire the best lawyer your money can buy, and fuck you in the pocket book.

Relationships should never come with severe consequences. I guess some men are crazy desperate for pussy... But married men get the least pussy of all - which is the ultimate irony.

 

[gungalunga]

That's it....I'm booking the next flight to SF just so I can find Slice and give him a big hug, and explain to him that all women aren't evil. It will be a purely platonic hug, so don't try and dry jump my leg or anything.....OK?

 

[Deleted member 106824]

It is my firm belief that a woman's loyalty goes only as far as her (perceived) next best option

As a result, I'm going to keep my options open. I have no problem being somewhat exclusive with a woman who is halfway decent in quality... But I'm still keeping my options open.

Case in point, I was out with some buddies at a pool hall/bar years ago. One guy had just proposed to his girl, and she said yes. This girl seemed high quality... Great family, strong father figure... Innocent and virtuous. They had been together forever... They were like one being - Like two trees that had woven together over years and years

Anyways, babygirl goes to go get some more beers for the table, and I glance over and see her being chatted up by some random Chad. I smile and shake my head as Mr. Husband-to-be looks on in horror as she gives Chad her number and then shimmies back to our table with the biggest smile on her face

Long story short, she starts hanging out with Chad McStudMuffin behind my boys back, he finds out, etc. etc. poor guy was heart broken... They were #RelationshipGoals for every single person who knew them.

All those years gone.. The entire relationship gone in a flash over some 'gina tingles

Oh well

Enjoy her while she's around. She's not yours, it's just your turn

Of course I'm not saying that story is typical... But it certainly does happen

Women cheat like crazy lol.. Men do as well of course, but we aren't talking about men here

Bolded line is fair and something I say when talking about how shitty women can be. "Men are at least as shitty, but I'm not fucking men so it's not relevant to me".

As for your story, that's insane. Not saying you're lying at all, but there's obviously more there. She clearly was not innocent and virtuous. How can you even call her that if she gave her number to a guy at a bar, with her fiance there? Out of the 100-200 girls I've been out with, I've only found 3 to be extremely high quality. All 3 of those girls didn't drink, nor did they go out much. So already I likely wouldn't find this girl as great as you claim.

Sometimes even "good" girls can cheat in very specific situations. Maybe their man hasn't touched them or made them feel loved in a long time, they have a long slow build up with someone from work, etc etc then one night "it just happens"....still super shitty but more explainable. No good quality girl in a relationship just hands their number out at a bar to another guy and starts sleeping with him, complete contradiction.

 

[little slice]

Bolded line is fair and something I say when talking about how shitty women can be. "Men are at least as shitty, but I'm not fucking men so it's not relevant to me".

As for your story, that's insane. Not saying you're lying at all, but there's obviously more there. She clearly was not innocent and virtuous. How can you even call her that if she gave her number to a guy at a bar, with her fiance there? Out of the 100-200 girls I've been out with, I've only found 3 to be extremely high quality. All 3 of those girls didn't drink, nor did they go out much. So already I likely wouldn't find this girl as great as you claim.

Sometimes even "good" girls can cheat in very specific situations. Maybe their man hasn't touched them or made them feel loved in a long time, they have a long slow build up with someone from work, etc etc then one night "it just happens"....still super shitty but more explainable. No good quality girl in a relationship just hands their number out at a bar to another guy and starts sleeping with him, complete contradiction.

People are good until they are not.

I've undergone a series of personal events that have completely changed me as a person.

For the longest time, I was one of those 'save it for marriage' Christians. After having two older friends commit suicide after getting destroyed in divorce, I had my eyes forced open. While I'm still a Christian, I no longer hold those other views.

Then there was that whole debacle last year.

Point is, while devastating traumas can certainly change people... So can even the smallest thing.

Locking yourself into 'lifelong' contract with someone is failing to take this into account.

People change.

There's the saying - 'Women marry men hoping they will change, and they don't. Men marry women hoping they won't change, and they do.'

Think of it this way - the woman you are with WILL undergo a significant change. All women do, it is inevitable.

Of course, I am referring to menopause. I remember my mother going through it, and she was insufferable.

I had a very close friend get hooked on opiates after he had a health crisis. He became a different person, and we no longer speak because he can't be trusted. He was a top notch guy.. Happens all the time.

Do whatever you want, but know that as a man, the government only wants to exploit you. You are chattel to it... Just a work horse to be used until you break down and return to the ground - whereupon another man will take your place.

That is why the government made alimony no longer tax-deductible to men (the payor). The government realizes that men save their money, and women spend their money.

Therefore, in order to keep the house of cards that is the American consumer economy afloat, you need to transfer the money from the savers to the spenders.

That's what this is all about.

Be with your woman, and love her for as long as she is yours. But stay away from the government.

 

[maldorf]

That's it....I'm booking the next flight to SF just so I can find Slice and give him a big hug, and explain to him that all women aren't evil. It will be a purely platonic hug, so don't try and dry jump my leg or anything.....OK?

You should go during the Pride Parade so you two can hang out there, literally hang out! Slice has said hes been there before, but never posted any pictures as proof.

 

[maldorf]

I think more and more women are thinking like this these days:

or this other quote from her:
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/gloria-steinem-quotes

 

[Deleted member 121863]

I think more and more women are thinking like this these days:


or this other quote from her:
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/gloria-steinem-quotes

Funny the women who always talk smack like that are the ones that are so nasty, old, saggy, fat, NOBODY wants to F*ck any way! Like poor person saying they don`t wanna be rich.

Slice, your friend was/is a tool that could not keep his woman happy. He did not provide what she needed. Plus they were young and she needed more experience. TELL ME I`M WRONG?? He is the type of guy a woman would marry because he has lots of money... oh and she kinda loved him.

 

[gungalunga]

You should go during the Pride Parade so you two can hang out there, literally hang out! Slice has said hes been there before, but never posted any pictures as proof.

The Pride parade wouldn't really be my scene, but to the people that belong to that scene, more power to them. The episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and George kept saying "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." Just popped into my mind for some reason....

 

[maldorf]

Funny the women who always talk smack like that are the ones that are so nasty, old, saggy, fat, NOBODY wants to F*ck any way! Like poor person saying they don`t wanna be rich.

Slice, your friend was/is a tool that could not keep his woman happy. He did not provide what she needed. Plus they were young and she needed more experience. TELL ME I`M WRONG?? He is the type of guy a woman would marry because he has lots of money... oh and she kinda loved him.

LOL, some of the feminists definitely aren't/weren't hot. Gloria looked ok though. The most outspoken are liberal though and not my cup of tea.

Slice jokes about being a beta male. I think he is joking.

 

[maldorf]

The Pride parade wouldn't really be my scene, but to the people that belong to that scene, more power to them. The episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and George kept saying "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." Just popped into my mind for some reason....

Yeah, not my scene either and id probably feel really awkward being there. It would be interesting to see though.

 

[gungalunga]

Slice jokes about being a beta male. I think he is joking.

Anyone that can do 600lb rack pulls is NOT a beta male....

 

[Deleted member 106824]

People are good until they are not.

I've undergone a series of personal events that have completely changed me as a person.

For the longest time, I was one of those 'save it for marriage' Christians. After having two older friends commit suicide after getting destroyed in divorce, I had my eyes forced open. While I'm still a Christian, I no longer hold those other views.

Then there was that whole debacle last year.

Point is, while devastating traumas can certainly change people... So can even the smallest thing.

Locking yourself into 'lifelong' contract with someone is failing to take this into account.

People change.

There's the saying - 'Women marry men hoping they will change, and they don't. Men marry women hoping they won't change, and they do.'

Think of it this way - the woman you are with WILL undergo a significant change. All women do, it is inevitable.

Of course, I am referring to menopause. I remember my mother going through it, and she was insufferable.

I had a very close friend get hooked on opiates after he had a health crisis. He became a different person, and we no longer speak because he can't be trusted. He was a top notch guy.. Happens all the time.

Do whatever you want, but know that as a man, the government only wants to exploit you. You are chattel to it... Just a work horse to be used until you break down and return to the ground - whereupon another man will take your place.

That is why the government made alimony no longer tax-deductible to men (the payor). The government realizes that men save their money, and women spend their money.

Therefore, in order to keep the house of cards that is the American consumer economy afloat, you need to transfer the money from the savers to the spenders.

That's what this is all about.

Be with your woman, and love her for as long as she is yours. But stay away from the government.

Sorry to hear about your woman, that sucks. You've obviously seen a lot that has changed how you view the world. I do disagree with your extremism on the topic but I probably agree with you more than most.

My issue, however, is I want children and a family at some point. That doesn't require legal marriage but at that point I do think it's good to commit to each other for life.

Also, there is a lack of continuity in one's life when constantly changing partners.

I think more and more women are thinking like this these days:

or this other quote from her:
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/gloria-steinem-quotes

Eh, I think this is more just what you see online or maybe super liberal parts of the country. Even my sister, a legit and sometimes annoying feminist, has a boyfriend she loves and wants to get married. I don't know many women who truly don't want a good man, despite what they may claim. You can't defy biology.

Funny the women who always talk smack like that are the ones that are so nasty, old, saggy, fat, NOBODY wants to F*ck any way! Like poor person saying they don`t wanna be rich.

Slice, your friend was/is a tool that could not keep his woman happy. He did not provide what she needed. Plus they were young and she needed more experience. TELL ME I`M WRONG?? He is the type of guy a woman would marry because he has lots of money... oh and she kinda loved him.

I don't agree with your second point there. Yes, if a woman cheats she's not getting what she "needs" but sometimes what she needs in her mind is more dick from various men. It's bullshit to say any man who has a woman leave him is a tool or not man enough or whatever other nonsense. That's obviously not true.

 

[little slice]

Sorry to hear about your woman, that sucks.

What woman lol

 

[Deleted member 121863]

I don't agree with your second point there. Yes, if a woman cheats she's not getting what she "needs" but sometimes what she needs in her mind is more dick from various men. It's bullshit to say any man who has a woman leave him is a tool or not man enough or whatever other nonsense. That's obviously not true.

The guy is a TOOL because he saw his gf give out her number and apparently did/said nothing. Also because his gf is so checked out of relationship and he thinks everything is just fine. Typical oblivious man treating his woman like an old pair of slippers that will always be there whenever he wants to slip in. He no longer needs to take care of them (her) like when they were new. If a woman wants to cheat, she will be much more sly and calculated than a man would. Her giving out phone number in front of him is a TEST to see if he even cares. He FAILED and for that is a TOOL. You disagree because you don`t understand what happened.

A small minority or women may cheat just for dick, but they really cheat for the emotional connection with a man, a romance, that will often lead to sex. All that stuff they had in beginning of relationship till the man (or both of them) got lazy and took the relationship for granted. You guys always say "women change", SO DOES THE GUY by doing the above. You have so much to learn about women young jedi.

 

[maldorf]

Youre right about women being sneaky and sly when cheating. My ex-wife sure was like that. I think your analysis of Slice's friend's situation is probably fairly accurate. I agree that most women cheat because they are unhappy emotionally and want to feel loved, be in love again. When they feel like their significant other takes them for granted then they go out seeking attention and affection. That's what happpened with me. Not all women are like that though. My ex had low self esteem I think and needed a man to make her feel better about herself. I guess I wasn't doing that for her anymore. Many women are stronger than that though and will just break off the relationship and find someone new rather than cheat.

I think there are a lot more men out there that cheat because they just want the sex. Hormones there I think. I have yet to meet a woman like that, one that can go out and have sex with other men and still be in love with their husband/boyfriend. I personally like to have sex and love intermingled. When I had sex without caring about the woman I found it wasnt very satifsfying.

 

[Deleted member 121863]

Maldorf, agreed. Some women do get over needy with unrealistic expectations of attention, then cheat. They will never be happy. Maybe that was your ex? They seek emotional connection but deep inside know they need to also give up sex to keep the man interested. Theory on hormone levels dropping as we age says it happens so we become more like life partners, friends more in tune with each other vs being mating partners. Much less desire to wander if natural test is 150, LOL.

I have dropped the ball of "attention" over the years with my wife and tension grew. Call me lucky (or cursed) my wife will remind me if I`m slacking, instead of her wondering. I remind her as well... by pulling out my hammer