OT: What would you do in my situation?

[little slice]

Of course that's unacceptable, but going straight to meltdown without even querying why it happened, the root causes of her bahaviour, is shortsighted, immature, and utterly typical.

You already mentioned this was out of character, doesn't usually drink etc, at no point have you seemed concerned about the root cause, other than she's a "spoiled bitch". Any recent health scares, job concerns, mental health issues? Try asking about those things if you give a fuck about your own sister. If you can't even care about women biologically related to you, that speaks volumes about your own issues with the opposite sex. The "she always gets a pass" is bullshit and just comes across as petty jealousy. Was she the favorite in your family growing up?

I suspect you'll figure it out when it's too late to do anything about it.

ok for one, I never called her a 'bitch', and ive never called her a bitch.


so kindly fuck off with your white knight finger pointing horseshit.


the root causes of her behavior don't matter, what she did - risking numerous lives - likely including children, is absolutely inexcusable.


she got in trouble at work? 'better load up on tequila before driving to pick up my bro'


yeah, you can't see how stupid that sounds because you got your white knight glasses stapled to ur face.


you (and others here) are so ready to make are so ready to make excuses for her it's ridiculous, and painfully transparent.

I've always looked out for her (though she never needed it really, life on easy street, as I mentioned earlier).


I got punished when I did wrong, she never got punished when she did wrong. so no, I won't say she was 'the favorite', but she was favored, and I was taught the value of accountability.


she's a grown ass woman, on the far side of her 20's... not some fucking kid. she's my sister, not my daughter, not some punk teenager who you would expect this bullshit of.


the reason I seem like a misogynist to you is cuz you apparently aren't trying to hold women accountable for shit.


I treat women like I treat men, so I guess that means I hate women.. lol.



you best believe I would be missing a few teeth if I disrespected my male friends like that.

 

[tren_plz]

Would your life be in any different if your sister died tomorrow? Kinda how i view people my in life. If the answer is, it'd be another Wednesday. Just drop her ass.

I'd do shit for my Marine buds that i wouldn't do for my own Dad. Pretty much on the same page as you. Family/Home is all about perspective

 

[little slice]

Would your life be in any different if your sister died tomorrow? Kinda how i view people my in life. If the answer is, it'd be another Wednesday. Just drop her ass.

I'd do shit for my Marine buds that i wouldn't do for my own Dad. Pretty much on the same page as you. Family/Home is all about perspective

I feel you.


yeah id be a mess, cuz I love her, but not because she's my sister.

maybe it's that love that's the reason why im so mad.. feels like legit betrayal tbh.



basically saying 'yeah I know you love me, but your life is less valuable to me than my desire to take the edge off'

 

[muleman]

She needs to be held accountable, but doing it in a respectful kind way is probably better.

My dad was never held accountable for his actions and it shows in his actions and decisions now.

Kind of a tough one slice... to bad your parents didn’t.....
now her and the people around her are paying for it...


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[little slice]

She needs to be held accountable, but doing it in a respectful kind way is probably better.

My dad was never held accountable for his actions and it shows in his actions and decisions now.

Kind of a tough one slice... to bad your parents didn’t.....
now her and the people around her are paying for it...


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I'd swap 'gentle' for 'respectful' lol..


really hard to respect someone after what she's done.. impossible, really.


at least for me.

 

[maldorf]

Go ahead and have a talk with her about the drinking. You might not help her change (you might though), but at least you can feel better if something tragic happens because of her drinking. The fact that you say she is always using mints sounds like she may be an alcoholic (and you suspect it). Sooner or later she'll at best get a DUI/get in a wreck.

Rent a car while your car is being repaired like any other normal person would do in your situation.

Good ideas here. Our car insurance has rental car coverage, you might want to check yours again to see if it does.

I do think that the chances that she just happened to be drunk when she picked you up and it is a fluke and not a more regular occurrence are slim to none. Talk to her and hopefully she will open up and tell you the truth. Is this a problem with her or was this just some wild occurrence? I worry it might be a habit. Just getting that drunk on a regular basis is bad for the health. Like you say though, she endangered others on the road too.

 

[HOOLIGAN]

My older sister is my only sibling and we weren't exactly best friends growing up although we have become closer as we've gotten older.
She's a good person at heart but like your sister she's never been held accountable for her actions.

My dad passed away 1 year ago and my mom passed 3 weeks ago.
I don't know what I would do without my sister right now.
I know that it will be up to me now to bail her ass out (financially speaking) at some point in the future but she's my sister.

Consider doing what I do and just continue ranting at her and trying to talk some sense into her. Just don't get in the car!

 

[little slice]

My older sister is my only sibling and we weren't exactly best friends growing up although we have become closer as we've gotten older.
She's a good person at heart but like your sister she's never been held accountable for her actions.

My dad passed away 1 year ago and my mom passed 3 weeks ago.
I don't know what I would do without my sister right now.
I know that it will be up to me now to bail her ass out (financially speaking) at some point in the future but she's my sister.

Consider doing what I do and just continue ranting at her and trying to talk some sense into her. Just don't get in the car!

i am sorry to hear about your losses.



my sister and i talked earlier.. and i expressed my concern as well as my anger... gently, of course... wouldnt want to upset her or anything right?


anyways, she's 'very sorry' and is swearing off alcohol, though she is not an alcoholic (and im the last person to be charitable, she genuinely isn't, and she can't even keep her own secrets if she was having those problems).

i basically told her that while i still love her, she has shattered my trust in her, and my respect for her..


we came full circle and hugged it out.



i tell you guys, no one has ever accused me of being 'in touch with my emotions', but to see someone try to pull a 3-point turn into oncoming traffic, while not responding to you yelling at them.. making you think she's trying to suicide you both.


i dont scare easy, but that was a truly unique feeling - and one that i hope i dont feel again.

 

[ChemJr.]

I would be a brother which to me entails sometimes cutting off communication for a while as it's happened to me for being a dumbass and I have done it to others for the same. Then you let them in slowly little by little and make sure that they are doing what they say. If they're not then you cut their ass off again. If they are then you just take it slow and no matter what let her know that if she needs you you are always there as a brother and you will always love her. But you can't put yourself in those types of situations. For both your sakes as well as everyone surrounding you. And the rest of your family. Imagine how the rest of your family would feel if they lost both of you. That's my take anyway. I wish you the best and hope it all works out. Women can definitely be dramatic and I know what you mean when you mention the depression thing but it is what it is so just be a good brother but also look out for yourself at the same time.

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[Marvin Martian]

MM good to see you bro



hope you have been well.



what do you reckon 'bout my situation?

Appreciate it man. Been a crazy few months, but things are normalizing.
About your sis - I think you alluded to it earlier - It hurts you BECAUSE you love her. If you didn't, you wouldn't give a fonk and would tell her to kick rocks. I think its natural to love family because they are family, BUT that doesn't mean that you have to LIKE them and definitely doesn't mean that you are obligated to have them in your life.

*** chem - I will catch up with you man - I haven't forgotten
I believe that we should try to help others, but ultimately we are creators of our own reality. The ONLY person that you can make happy is LS - and the same is true for sister.

 

[Wisco2]

So what have you done?!?!

Alright LS, what have you decided to do about this situation? I have been waiting patiently for an update post as to what actions you have decided to take with your sis.

Enlighten us please?! :headbang:

 

[little slice]

Alright LS, what have you decided to do about this situation? I have been waiting patiently for an update post as to what actions you have decided to take with your sis.

Enlighten us please?! :headbang:

well basically


sat her down and told her that she completely destroyed my perception of her. I cannot respect or trust someone who would do what she did.

and while this doesn't mean that I don't love her and care about her, I can't go back to looking at her the same way as before... IE, this is the 'new normal'.



I told her that I have forgiven her



and that if we ride together again, i'll be driving.



she seemed very agreeable and receptive... though it wouldn't have made any difference if she wasn't.

 

[johnjuanb1]

First off, buy a bicycle and get your cardio in while going to work. Don’t ride with her again. Tell her you love her but she needs to think of others first and not drink and drive.

 

[Wisco2]

well basically


sat her down and told her that she completely destroyed my perception of her. I cannot respect or trust someone who would do what she did.

and while this doesn't mean that I don't love her and care about her, I can't go back to looking at her the same way as before... IE, this is the 'new normal'.



I told her that I have forgiven her



and that if we ride together again, i'll be driving.



she seemed very agreeable and receptive... though it wouldn't have made any difference if she wasn't.

Right on, well you said what you could, now if she does that again at some point, disown her ass! LOLOLOL