- Joined
- Sep 21, 2021
- Messages
- 3
I'm going to need whoever is reading this to keep a very open mind. I've been ostracized and chewed out by people on other forums strictly from there level of pure "Close-Mindedness" and one person on another forum basically told me that I was stupid and fucked for experimenting on my body with the supplements I took.
Basically my body is extremely sensitive to hormonal medications. I took a natural testosterone booster called "Test-Freak" which simply contains high amounts of fenugreek and got breast swelling the next morning. I told people on bodybuilding.com what happened and guess what only one person said maybe your sensitive while the others said "That is impossible a natural testosterone booster cant do that and it's all in my head". Surely enough - I saw my doctor and he told me you might as well had been injecting yourself with testosterone with the supplement I took. During this time in 2017 - I had no knowledge of PCT and how to control estrogen. Somebody from gnc told me about "Erase Pro Plus" so I took that. The fucked up thing is I started neurotically experimenting with both Test Freak and Erase Pro Plus in pseudo-cycles per se with no set regime or scheduled timing because I didn't feel right and my anxiety was off the roof. During the summer of 2017 - I contacted my bodybuilding friend and told him I have the symptoms of feeling "Shut Down" and how my body became dependent the pills I was taking. He gave me "Nolvadex" "Clomid" and "Arimidex". I tried taking them as my friend told me too in a cycle but something didn't feel right and my testosterone dropped to 219 and my cholesterol skyrocketed at dangerous levels. The nurse who examined me said: "I would highly suggest to stop taking all the supplements I was on" and because of the cholesterol increase I could barely move and get out of my bed.
I noticed Clomid had a effect on restoring my testicular size and had a effect on libido - So that became another drug I experimented with.
Here is where things start to get very fucked up: My testosterone came back to normal range at 530 from the 219 - However, I still had feelings of being shut down. The only way I was able to get erections or have any libido was still by manipulating my body's hormones from the supplements I was taking. I started experimenting again with clomid at very low doses because of the sensitivity and also taking the Test-Freak pills. After carefully trying to experiment with my body - The drugs started to lose there effect. HCG was the last drug I tried and seemed to have a effect and I felt like my balls were being punched the first time I took it but now it literally has NO EFFECT at all.
So here I am at the age of 29 soon to be 30 - with no morning erections - very limp dick - no feelings of testosterone. I can only truly get hard through stimulants and dopamine agonists - Viagra doesn't feel right to me and I personally don't like it - as it has no effect on libido only blood flow. I contacted a clinic in New York City and the people there basically told me that if "Any Doctor" were to see my lab results - they would instantly conceive my feelings and erectile dysfunction as being psychological. However, my thinking was that supplements I took had some neuro-endocrine effect and messed something up within the Hypothalamic Pituitary Testicular Axis - Once again though - my lab results show testosterone in the 500 range but erections and libido are nowhere at where they should be - So I guess it's a loose argument.
I'm currently seeing Dr O'connor through Testosteronology and trying to take HCG and Test. He told me it could take up to 6 months to start noticing effects with erections but I'm bat shit worried about being "Infertile" because of my bodies sensitivity and the HCG has no effect on restoring testicular size for me at this point - which also worries me that it would have any effect on fertility for me. This is all neuro-endocrine issues - something the doctors can't necessarily see through lab results and no doctor bothered to measure my testicles because they had "Preconceived" notions to begin with - so I don't really have any proof of what's going on just my descriptive history and photos I took of the breast swelling in 2017.
I know if SBHG is high that can suppress circulating free testosterone - so that can be issue but I'm afraid my issues are far deeper than that. I really like Dopamine agonist though and they seem to compensate for what I'm lacking in testosterone in terms of libido and orgasms. I'm hoping "Caber" will help and I just have to watch out for low prolactin levels.
I really think in a Darwinistic evolutionary way and the feelings of weakness make me want to kill myself: I'm legitimately contemplating heading to Belguim and legally euthanizing myself there. I don't have that many friends and I'm introverted and the issues with my body and erections just make things worse. The idea of being infertile also bothers me in darwinistic sense because you cant make babies and pass on your genes.
So does anybody have any advice? Any notions on what to do if the hormonal receptors are possibly damaged?
Basically my body is extremely sensitive to hormonal medications. I took a natural testosterone booster called "Test-Freak" which simply contains high amounts of fenugreek and got breast swelling the next morning. I told people on bodybuilding.com what happened and guess what only one person said maybe your sensitive while the others said "That is impossible a natural testosterone booster cant do that and it's all in my head". Surely enough - I saw my doctor and he told me you might as well had been injecting yourself with testosterone with the supplement I took. During this time in 2017 - I had no knowledge of PCT and how to control estrogen. Somebody from gnc told me about "Erase Pro Plus" so I took that. The fucked up thing is I started neurotically experimenting with both Test Freak and Erase Pro Plus in pseudo-cycles per se with no set regime or scheduled timing because I didn't feel right and my anxiety was off the roof. During the summer of 2017 - I contacted my bodybuilding friend and told him I have the symptoms of feeling "Shut Down" and how my body became dependent the pills I was taking. He gave me "Nolvadex" "Clomid" and "Arimidex". I tried taking them as my friend told me too in a cycle but something didn't feel right and my testosterone dropped to 219 and my cholesterol skyrocketed at dangerous levels. The nurse who examined me said: "I would highly suggest to stop taking all the supplements I was on" and because of the cholesterol increase I could barely move and get out of my bed.
I noticed Clomid had a effect on restoring my testicular size and had a effect on libido - So that became another drug I experimented with.
Here is where things start to get very fucked up: My testosterone came back to normal range at 530 from the 219 - However, I still had feelings of being shut down. The only way I was able to get erections or have any libido was still by manipulating my body's hormones from the supplements I was taking. I started experimenting again with clomid at very low doses because of the sensitivity and also taking the Test-Freak pills. After carefully trying to experiment with my body - The drugs started to lose there effect. HCG was the last drug I tried and seemed to have a effect and I felt like my balls were being punched the first time I took it but now it literally has NO EFFECT at all.
So here I am at the age of 29 soon to be 30 - with no morning erections - very limp dick - no feelings of testosterone. I can only truly get hard through stimulants and dopamine agonists - Viagra doesn't feel right to me and I personally don't like it - as it has no effect on libido only blood flow. I contacted a clinic in New York City and the people there basically told me that if "Any Doctor" were to see my lab results - they would instantly conceive my feelings and erectile dysfunction as being psychological. However, my thinking was that supplements I took had some neuro-endocrine effect and messed something up within the Hypothalamic Pituitary Testicular Axis - Once again though - my lab results show testosterone in the 500 range but erections and libido are nowhere at where they should be - So I guess it's a loose argument.
I'm currently seeing Dr O'connor through Testosteronology and trying to take HCG and Test. He told me it could take up to 6 months to start noticing effects with erections but I'm bat shit worried about being "Infertile" because of my bodies sensitivity and the HCG has no effect on restoring testicular size for me at this point - which also worries me that it would have any effect on fertility for me. This is all neuro-endocrine issues - something the doctors can't necessarily see through lab results and no doctor bothered to measure my testicles because they had "Preconceived" notions to begin with - so I don't really have any proof of what's going on just my descriptive history and photos I took of the breast swelling in 2017.
I know if SBHG is high that can suppress circulating free testosterone - so that can be issue but I'm afraid my issues are far deeper than that. I really like Dopamine agonist though and they seem to compensate for what I'm lacking in testosterone in terms of libido and orgasms. I'm hoping "Caber" will help and I just have to watch out for low prolactin levels.
I really think in a Darwinistic evolutionary way and the feelings of weakness make me want to kill myself: I'm legitimately contemplating heading to Belguim and legally euthanizing myself there. I don't have that many friends and I'm introverted and the issues with my body and erections just make things worse. The idea of being infertile also bothers me in darwinistic sense because you cant make babies and pass on your genes.
So does anybody have any advice? Any notions on what to do if the hormonal receptors are possibly damaged?