Please read this, I wish I did 5 years ago.

[jdog55]

thanks for sharing. I was promoted at work within 3 months after starting my first cycle long ago. i cant relate

 

[dfresh333]

The one thing I can relate to most is dont use tren if you have a family history or history of depression. All the people who are down on this guys post and are giving him shit are the ones lucky enough to not know what depression feels like. Don't judge other people because chances are you've never walked a mile in their shoes.

 

[get it in ya]

so are you saying if you are very depressed, Suicidal and on Prozac you shouldn't do steroids? no shit, that's pretty damn obvious

 

[grizzly978]

I do feel bad for what happened. But before you cheated and broke up with your wife, you didn't have sucicidal depression. Tren and gear didn't ruin your life, you ruined them by cheating

 

[HOOLIGAN]

In regards to Tren I'm gonna quote and agree with what a certain IFBB Pro once said on this board. A little goes a LONG way.

 

[bulking1]

I feel bad for you after reading your situation . But blaming gear for what you did is irresponsible and immature on your part. Everything that happened to you was self inflected. Good luck hope it all works out for you.

 

[mewalrus]

Tren can/will change you at a certain dose. I can totally, understand feeling suicidal especially when your life is fucked up. Hell i had suicidal ideations and my life ain't super messed just slightly messed.

 

[anarchocapitalist]

I don't think anyone's blaming steroids for making bad decisions but certainly we cannot deny that hormones impact our decisions. Look at pregnant women. I know when I'm on testosterone and not getting any from the wife other women look pretty tempting. Add some depression and suddenly your in a midget gangbang porn thats being streamed live online.

 

[Atexus]

You're a narcissistic junkie with a personality disorder and a low self esteem. What does this have to do with steroids?

 

[AshopRep]

Drugs are bad umkay.

 

[GS]

In my 45 years being alive i have taken many wrong routes but i do eventually have to be honest with one person and that would be myself.
I am not going to flame you for your version of events in your life.
I have been married for 23 years and have lifted seriously for 28 years and started my first cycle 20 years ago. As you i was on a 12 week test-e @500mg a week cycle and i admit pct sucks.
I have had thoughts of other women but i never let my temptations to cheat on my wife.
We have learned by talking and accepting each of our faults and have learned by others mistakes in life.The phrase of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is never a good choice with the ones we love.We should look at it as soon as i step foot in the other pasture the grass will die(lol)
I have used the gym to release my negative thoughts though i can't condone aas usage i feel we all have a choice to use.This is just me but i use aas i have more energy i have more confidence and become stronger so all in all if i have to use 150mg of test for the rest of my life i won't complain cause i used the positive effects to help me with other life problems and mistakes.I chose using 150-200mg of test and to use 2-3 compounds as a blast and use it for positive events such as powerlifting,bodybuilding etc.
No i will never be Jay Cutler but you know what i am happy with myself.
'I work ,i play and train, My 14 year old has taking advantage of my year's of working out and applying it for the positive part of it. i had to learn on my own but it makes me excited to see him win his class with a pr.Really training and going for a pr should be implemented into our daily life's.He has taking the positive side in his school work and went from being a F student to the honor roll and realizes good things can come from shooting for a pr in anything........
My wife has went on record on more than one occasion (friends etc) My relationship with my husband has at times been rocky but i can look you in the eye and say he has never ran around on me ,he always has tried his best to provide for his kid's and me and if working out and a cycle of steroids is his only fault i have been blessed!
Then she will tell her nosy friend of the many times her husband has rose to the occasion while her friends husband is sitting on the couch unemployed and never goes to bed with his wife.

Anything in life if taken to extreme is not good so we all should be responsible and take credit for the good as well the bad.
OP i feel for you and i could never tell you i know how you feel ,i can relate only by thoughts but not by my actions......
Again my take in my years of competing,training,aas usage all in all has been pretty much positive.
I could see how you could have negative view of it so i can't give you advice only to try to not make the same one again.

I would suggest you go to a professional and work with a counselor and try to improve one negative thing at a time.
Though i feel there are many things that you could have taken from all of this, You have chosen to blame AAS usage as the problem that started it all or escalated it ??
Again brother i hope you can get it all back together so you can have a more positive life?
I am truly sorry brother.

 

[proche21]

Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the future.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[MaineGuy]

Sorry for your situation but it all comes down to your personality and state of mind. AAS has done none of this to me, I am not an angry person on or off and do not get depression. It is just like alcohol or other drugs, if you are an asshole or depressed to begin with, you will be worse on drugs. Just the way it is. I do not have an addictive personality but have some friends that do, and I can tell the difference on how they act on any drug, even AAS.

 

[pimpman]

Really!!!

 

[Dragos]

It takes guts to put your story out there, thanks for sharing. Although I came in expecting aas related health problems. It's seems you're blaming steroids for your problems and I can't relate to that. Take ownership of your actions and choices, aas never caused me to do anything I didn't want to do.

 

[Dragos]

The one thing I can relate to most is dont use tren if you have a family history or history of depression. All the people who are down on this guys post and are giving him shit are the ones lucky enough to not know what depression feels like. Don't judge other people because chances are you've never walked a mile in their shoes.

I disagree, trens never effected my depression. Hell, I love tren.

 

[Knight9]

Sorry you had to go through that and remember that many of us know dark feelings...whether they are enhanced by hormones or not. I am glad you have overcome your demons and are on a much better track. I still do not feel using AAS as your scapegoat is necessarily honest or correct.

 

[Scottyd]

You're a narcissistic junkie with a personality disorder and a low self esteem. What does this have to do with steroids?

And I can easily say that you're a troll who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about... But what does that solve??, good luck with all that...

It's all good because at my 4th year into using steroids, BEFORE depression and BEFORE i made the mistakes that i did, Id blast someone like me too.

Until you have been in my shoes you wont know.. At least keep the advice of someone who has BEEN there in mind. I sure as hell aint sharing this information because I'm proud of it, and if it can keep at least a few people who may have similar situations safe than oh well fuck it, judge on..

Some of you are SO damn quick to just defend the drug and dismiss what I'm trying to share with you that you FAIL to have read this statement " I can't blame it all on gear...it was all me.. on gear." Yeah, i said that.. OP.. Go back and read.

That said, if you can handle the shit, don't have depression AWESOME... but when something in your life that happens that changes that, when its not all roses and sunshine, and it'll happen people, thats the curves life throws, you might want to reconsider, even if for a little while.

 

[Golgo13]

Thank you for sharing. I am sure it took a great deal to put that down on the screen.

 

[Scottyd]

I don't think anyone's blaming steroids for making bad decisions but certainly we cannot deny that hormones impact our decisions. Look at pregnant women. I know when I'm on testosterone and not getting any from the wife other women look pretty tempting. Add some depression and suddenly your in a midget gangbang porn thats being streamed live online.

Bingo, you're exactly right, my marriage had its ups and downs before and after using. And the FACT is when I was using it damn near anything in a skirt was attractive to me (not really.. but wow what a difference) and if some of you guys can do the math in my OP, my relationship with my wife started when I was 18yrs old. Guess what, she was my first GF, my first lover. Not only was I horny as hell I was very curious too... Is that the aas fault? no, my actions were strictly my fault. but i can guarantee you this, I stayed faithful to her for well over 15 years before using them and was PROUD of the fact that she was MY only lover. PROUD...that changed, HORMONES DO IMPACT OUR DECISIONS that can be good or bad but it still needs to be known.

And i think that a few of you have failed to see my biggest mistake.. probably because I cant write for shit and seem to draw out and carry on lol

Ok, my dosages were sporadic, when you obtain this stuff like most likely the majority of us do, we never really know the true potency of it unless its tested in a lab.. which frankly i never had the courage to do. So i went off feeling, how i felt.. "this didn't feel as good as my last batch, maybe i should up it a little. This 750 feels like my 250" just be careful guys, the honor system in this world is SHIT...