Political Science for Dummies......lol

[MAINEVENT]

My Uncle sent me this. I though it was pretty funny.

Political Science for Dummies
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it .
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CO RPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but y ou don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

Al-Qaeda CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have t wo bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

[mike1107]

LOL

 

[Phidias]

Now that was funny!!!

The Taliban one especially, lol

 

[thebrick]

Good one!

 

[hotttsauce]

Good stuff!

 

[Golgo13]

Awesome.

Somebody actually understands Belgium!

 

[Golgo13]

just that alone is funny!!!

I'm 50% Belgian, and its so true.

 

[TLTL]

WHITETRASH UNINCORPORATED

You have 2 cows.
You live in a trailer with both.
Both are on welfare and you owe both child support.
Both need tall boys and newports to survive.
Both moo to damn much so you beat them and fuck the neighbor cow who is on meth.
You end up in jail,get out,and repeat process again and again.
Moral:trashy cows always put up with bull.

 

[Turk]

British Corporation

You do not have two (2) cows, you have zero (f**k all) bovine dairy producing biological organisms. After 00:01 April 17th it will be a criminal offence to refer to a bovine dairy producing biological organism as a cow.
Due to Health and Safety (HSE) regulations, one was destroyed because it was within five hundred (500) miles of bovine dairy producing biological organism that possibly came in contact with another bovine dairy producing biological organism that was from the same herd that another was bred from that possibly had BSE.

Your other bovine dairy producing biological organism had to be sent off to a central facility in the outer Shetlands to be milked and is delayed in its return due to a small leaf on the railway line, two (2) signal falures and a Transport for London underground railway system staff dispute (tube strike).

The Department for Enviroment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) has supplied a replacment bovine dairy producing biological organism, but it is currently going in circles through Heathrow baggage handling, and has an estimated delivery of seventeen (18) weeks. Please be at your residence between the hours of 09:00 - 18:00 to receive a delivery arrangment call.

Due to your lack of bovine dairy producing biological organisms you will not receive your farming subsidy

Have a nice day.

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