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Really need help / advise

Deanabol,
Below is an inspirational qoute for today. This is the type of thing that helps me change my way of looking at life. We have the ability to choose how we are going to react to situations in our life. Do you choose today to say, my life sucks and I'm depressed or do you choose to look at your child and feel how blessed you are??? It is a simple deal, no not easy but it works.
I'm praying for you!!! By the way prayer is another life saver :)
Renewlyf



Be inspiring

Common sense would tell you that it’s difficult to be positive and inspired when the circumstances of your life are negative or painful or disheartening. Yet it is at precisely those times that inspiration can be the most beneficial.

Certainly there are many things in life that can lead you and prompt you to be inspired. However, even without any positive factors in the outside world, you can be positively inspired.

Inspiration is a powerful fire that burns on the inside. Sometimes there’s nothing else to ignite that fire, so you must do it yourself.

Sometimes life’s experience doesn’t validate or encourage your most deeply held values. But that’s not any reason to abandon those values.

Instead of always depending on the world to inspire you, choose to be a brilliant, positive source of inspiration yourself. The spark of inspiration must begin somewhere, so if life seems to lack inspiration, let that spark begin with you.

The most reliable way to be inspired is to be inspiring. Feel the simple, yet profound joy of being, and let your positive spirit shine a light that lifts up all those around you.

— Ralph Marston
 
well it sounds like you just arent quite satisfied with your life, I think you may have to take a step back and be real honest with yourself, and decide what you really want in your life and that can be hard. Although a lot of people may not be fully satisfied in life and that's the way the ball rolls ,you have to make the decision on whether you really want to be with her or not despite the child. you can't expect to be with the perfect woman because it probably won't happen in life, but if you actually aren't happy with her then you have to do something about it because you don't want to lie to yourself which is what a lot of people do these days without realizing it. best of luck. let us know what you decided
 
Some good points thanks .

I do feel I'm just kidding my self and delaying the inevitable

I almost called the wedding off a few weeks ago but it was such an awfull few days I agreed to go ahead with it , I think guilt has a lot to do with it

I still feel the same and my thoughts just go round in circles , both options are pretty bad
 
Bro, just remember that no matter how bad you have it or how low you may feel from time to time please do yourself a favor and remember that others have it WAY worse than you.

I remember before I got deployed to the middle east how much I used to complain about the smaller things in life, cable went out, got upset, bills to be paid, problems, or anything, etc etc.

When I was in a third world country with real poverty, kids and people were malnaurished, no health, barely any food, kids would fight for a small piece of candy or chocolate, no tv, no sewers or real showers or bathrooms, no electricity, barely any water, no radio, internet, satellite, computers, no roads and the list goes on. It really made me realize that we truly have it made here in America. That even a bum in the streets have it better than some people around the world and that we are truly blessed beyond measure.

Now, I look at the world and my situations in a different way because in reality, depression is all a mental attitude. I know that its easier said than done but I've been there, done that etc. Trust me that theirs no worse feeling than surviving 2 tours of duty in combat meanwhile your own comrades died in combat and YOU survived. The way, what, how, who etc come's to eat you alive and if YOU don't have the right mental attitude, help etc than your life will be very complicated. Be open to help, assistance from professionals, group settings, group meeting, open discussions etc. Yes, meds can help but I am NOT a believer in a pill to solve your own problems. Some people think that by taking a pill things will get better but in fact things could get worse. I work in public service and I see these kids, teenagers all drugged up w anti depressants and let me tell you thats not a funny picture to laugh at.

Life is not easy, it was never meant to be. Life is a journey and a destination so its to you to make the best of it because after all life is short, very short. To live life with regrets is the worse than a life in prison.

Hope that something that I shared w you may brighten up your day or nite. Be strong! We are ALL spiritual beings living a spiritual world, not religious, nor a believe system would change that!
 
Bro Lay off the Juice. Is your daughter more important or the juice? The juice prob is not helping your situation-depression but making it worse. Maybe you need to just step up to the plate bc you are having cold feet maybe this women is great with you and your daughter and you need to settle down and be a father and a man if you love her and have feelings and you let her down and don't marry her or pull out at last minute don't be surprised if in the future she don't start to look elsewhere bc you will not settle down with her.A happy home will make your stress a whole lot less. If you just simply do not love this women then DO NOT GET MARRIED. But You need to just ask yourself do I love her this is the mother of my baby girl and I want the best in this situation for me her and our daughter.Good Luck
 
A major problem is my health , I have various problems. Chronic fatigue , insomnia , 1-2 hrs sleep per night, adrenal insufficiency , gut problems , which fuel the deppsression / anxiety

It's a vicious circle

I think I have lost my feelings for her , I don't think I love her in the way I should and therefore it feels vert wrong

Although I know when people are deooressed they can feel detached from feeling it's so complex
 
Hey Dean,

I just read this thread from start to finish. I trully feel for you man. I too have in the past suffered really bad depression and yep I too lived a stage in my life when I dealt with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, even tried unsuccessfully a couple of times. Ended up really ill from one of the attempts.
One word of advise is, even in your lowest time remember that things can only get better from there. During my low times I heard a few words of wisdom which I hold very close to me. "Success isnt measured by how high you fly, but how high you bounce back after you hit rock bottom" You may feel like your at rock bottom now, so now its your time to fight and bounce back!!!! The hardest thing that a person with depression can do is to look at their life and see the positives, but thats what you have to do. I know it seems impossible but you have to!!! When your low look into your daughters eyes and think about her. Think about her future and how much life you still have to live.
The whole fianc'e situation is a hard one as I dont know full story but, you should let her know exactly how hard a time you are having with the depression. If she understands hopefully she will wait if thats what is needed. I wouldnt make any rash decisions as your judgement may be clouded at the moment. Just try to take one problem at a time.
Like many others on this thread I am here for you. Just remember that we have all pulled through so you can too!!! Best Luck :)
 

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