Regret of not Pushing It when I could

[EnhancedFatGrappler]

Hey guys,

(Sorry for the bit of rambly Post, I hope this is ok to post here. Really would like to have input from the guys on this forum though, I respect you a lot)

the Discussion in the recent Jay Cutler Thread sparked me to think about my "career" in Bodybuilding, and I have reached a conclusion that I have basically wasted my time and failed to use the opportunity I had.

Quoting myself:

I'm 40 now, and I have missed my opportunity to really push size and growth to get big (+ 120 kg), and now my body just can't take the abuse of pushing the limit gear wise (and food wise). I can be a lean and athletic 100 kg guy, which is nice and all, but I should have gone crazy in my 20s and early 30s while I still was able to.

Now I will always be thinking "What if....".

For context, I have not been physically active in my teenager years, and been fat and lazy in my years between 16-26. Like didn't do anything physical, was super overfat (150 kg at my heaviest... and all fat, no muscle). Turned my live around when I turned 27, lost the fat and picked up lifting and wrestling. Was pretty lean by the end of 29, and stayed that way since then - never wanting to get fat again. I hoped on gear in my mid 30s, just using the basic 500 Test/week cycle, tried some orals but didn't really like them, and then just went for Test+Deca when I was blasting, Test/Deca 500/600 - Mostly because that what I could fit into my 3 ml syringe and only have to inject twice per week .

For reference, this was me last year at the end of my blast:



And here are some current Pictures, please excuse the body hair, I am not shaving when it is Fall/Winter (175 cm short, at a light 105 kg)



I have some gyno issues (gyno started when I was 16, and it got worse from being fat all those decades) and obviously a lot of loose skin which will never go away, but I'm not going to get surgery, it is just too expensive, and I can't take not lifting weights and not grappling (No BJJ, no Judo, no wrestling) for 3 months, I would go insane. Strenuous Exercise is my therapy.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else regret not having pushed the limits while he was young, and his body was able to withstand the beating?

I mean, I will continue to lift Iron and grapple every day until I'm 6 feet under, but I wouldn't mind having 20 kg more muscle mass . I just know I can't push it hard, it would not be productive. I have digestive issues, I wouldn't be able to eat 6000 kcals or more every day, even with foods that I can tolerate well. Also, I will never place well in any Bodybuilding Competition, my loose skin and gyno are just too bad (I know, that's my fault, still sucks). I mean it would maybe be a good experience to really get stage lean and go through a tough, hard prep - to build character and be okay with feeling shitty for weeks, voluntarily. But knowing that I'm not gonna place well despite how lean and shredded I'm coming in the show.

Really appreciate any kind of feedback and thoughts from you. Also would appreciate physique critique - I like my back, but I think my arms are lacking, especially the triceps, also my delts (and my legs are tiny, really need to bring those up)

Cheers

 

[luki7788]

I am of the same opinion as you - we should push hard when we are young, uninjured and our body is healthy

when we wait and go very slowly with doses up, we will most likely never get close to the maximum of our potential - I have the same thing, I didn't push hard before I was 30 but only because I was very poor and my money was limited

now i'm 34 i'm healthy so until i'm 40 i'm giving myself time to push things hard and see how far i can go

 

[Orville Shreddenbacher]

I was unable to lift weights or use gear for all of my thirties . It sucks , but most definitely added years to my life . That said I'm in my mid forties now , in good shape at 235 and glad I'm in the gym all the time and healthy . Please don't take this hard or as aggressive , you seem like you're making excuses before you try and do the hard things like tighten up your diet and get zipped up . When you say you wouldn't place well and all that . Motivation can be hard to find sometimes , don't focus on how you would place or loose skin and blah fucking blah feeling bad with regrets . Don't worry about anyone else bro , compete against yourself . Be the best you. We re our own harshest critics and in turn worst enemies . Look around public and even the gyms , you're in the 40+ club now , do other 40 year olds look as big and muscular as you do ? Let's fucking go !!!!!!!

 

[Sixfoottwo]

Kinda in the same boat. Didn't really push it in my 20s and had some bad luck along the way. Now at early 30s life is oké so planning on pushing it a bit more, maybe even competing once if I can reach a 110kg stage weight.

 

[Performance Based]

Going to give the other side of things…

I joined the Navy at 17 in 2005, forged my parents signature (different age then, no confirmation - nothing). Parents thought I was leaving for college.

From 2005-2020 essentially I pushed it 100%. Some of you here know where I wound up/work now. Not some David Goggins (130% bullshit - more on that if you guys care later but seriously fuck that guy).

I am now 35, between the Navy and various 501c3s they have dumped over 700k into me just getting me pain free and able to live a normal productive life again. Not including cancer therapies.

There is a line we make a conscious decision to cross, in all sincerity I could have had just as successful of a career if I backed up a little bit - learned from others mistakes instead of charging ahead and needing to learn those mistakes for myself.

Giving it all you’ve got is a great thing, but it has to be measurable, intelligent and articulable.

Even for the years I have everything I know there were instances where I could have given a little more even though it would have been insanely terrible for my health, my mind, my soul. IE I had major abdominal surgery for a hepatocellular carcinoma in 2013 (liver cancer), I deployed three weeks later. Went into sepsis a week after that. If I toughed it out for another 24 hours I would have been able to participate in one of the largest operations in US history. On the flip side if I did, if I let my ego run my decision I could have died, become seriously injured or worse one of our boys or multiple could have suffered from that decision.

There’s always a flip side brother - do you have you health? Are you happy? If yes, you did something right. Take some things you wish you did and start strategically implementing them now. But this balls to the wall mentality does one thing, crushes us as human beings and the price sometimes is more than we can pay.

 

[Tomgrass]

I have no regrets cause the moment i was trying to push it i was suffering knees pains or other injuries. It was not in my cards to be huge. But maybe there is a reason for it, who knows maybe i would be one of those rip guys . Literally the moment i cross 105 kg barriers i have joint issues but hey i started gym when i was 60 kgs , my frame is kinda small , many people say i look much bigger then 100 kg so it is what it is. Life is about a little more then scales number. I would love to be bigger but I have to accept that is not what i want but what i CAN have. However i still train as hard if i would be wanna 120 but i keep my doses low to make sure i will never get there

 

[btails]

Not some David Goggins (130% bullshit - more on that if you guys care later but seriously fuck that guy).

Interested to hear this. Please share.

 

[Performance Based]

Interested to hear this. Please share.

Goggles

Zero deployments - capitalizes on being a team guy but never made a name for himself in the teams.

I will follow that up with saying he’s 100% an ultra runner and his respect is due from that and that alone.

Writes some bullshit tell all book where he goes into him screening for the command and CAG and bitches about “racism” for the reason being he didn’t make it. Tier one units are essentially begging for African Americans to get to that side of the house for reduced signature work throughout Africa and the Middle East.

Any NSW operator can screen for CAG it isn’t some elusive invite like he claims, it’s legitimate a mass email that goes out to everyone at group one or two (both coasts). After two rotations through a platoon you can screen for the command (development group), his rotations were at TRADET west not deployments.

His value was one he derived personally, some ridiculous let’s train all day and that will make us hard. It’s absurd at best, run yourself into the ground, miss all your KPIs and fall from the pack. Running all day doesn’t translate to a deployable skill - after 17 deployments I’ve never ran more than 200M in a straight shot.

Faking injuries to avoid deployments, not being a quality asset but a liability, and lacking base level skill sets while having a chip on your shoulder = a recipe for disaster.

Any of the public “large” names out there are typically pieces of shit.

 

[rippedyearround]

Hey guys,

(Sorry for the bit of rambly Post, I hope this is ok to post here. Really would like to have input from the guys on this forum though, I respect you a lot)

the Discussion in the recent Jay Cutler Thread sparked me to think about my "career" in Bodybuilding, and I have reached a conclusion that I have basically wasted my time and failed to use the opportunity I had.

Quoting myself:



For context, I have not been physically active in my teenager years, and been fat and lazy in my years between 16-26. Like didn't do anything physical, was super overfat (150 kg at my heaviest... and all fat, no muscle). Turned my live around when I turned 27, lost the fat and picked up lifting and wrestling. Was pretty lean by the end of 29, and stayed that way since then - never wanting to get fat again. I hoped on gear in my mid 30s, just using the basic 500 Test/week cycle, tried some orals but didn't really like them, and then just went for Test+Deca when I was blasting, Test/Deca 500/600 - Mostly because that what I could fit into my 3 ml syringe and only have to inject twice per week .

For reference, this was me last year at the end of my blast:

View attachment 167941 View attachment 167942View attachment 167943 View attachment 167944

And here are some current Pictures, please excuse the body hair, I am not shaving when it is Fall/Winter (175 cm short, at a light 105 kg)

View attachment 167945View attachment 167946View attachment 167947View attachment 167948

I have some gyno issues (gyno started when I was 16, and it got worse from being fat all those decades) and obviously a lot of loose skin which will never go away, but I'm not going to get surgery, it is just too expensive, and I can't take not lifting weights and not grappling (No BJJ, no Judo, no wrestling) for 3 months, I would go insane. Strenuous Exercise is my therapy.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else regret not having pushed the limits while he was young, and his body was able to withstand the beating?

I mean, I will continue to lift Iron and grapple every day until I'm 6 feet under, but I wouldn't mind having 20 kg more muscle mass . I just know I can't push it hard, it would not be productive. I have digestive issues, I wouldn't be able to eat 6000 kcals or more every day, even with foods that I can tolerate well. Also, I will never place well in any Bodybuilding Competition, my loose skin and gyno are just too bad (I know, that's my fault, still sucks). I mean it would maybe be a good experience to really get stage lean and go through a tough, hard prep - to build character and be okay with feeling shitty for weeks, voluntarily. But knowing that I'm not gonna place well despite how lean and shredded I'm coming in the show.

Really appreciate any kind of feedback and thoughts from you. Also would appreciate physique critique - I like my back, but I think my arms are lacking, especially the triceps, also my delts (and my legs are tiny, really need to bring those up)

Cheers

As an idea: what about going the other direction? Instead of size, get extremely shredded and maintain it for a long period of time.

That wouldn't be comfortable, and I'm certainly not suggesting you're not already lean by general standards, but there's a super sense of pride and accomplishment that comes with it.

You may also be surprised what that approach can do for gyno, too.

At a certain point, you may feel like stepping on stage.

I did this after a major disappointing show in 2016. From 2016 to 2021 my goal was "lean and strong."

Ended up competing in 2021 and took the overal in bbing and classic.

Kinda blew my mind.

 

[thethinker48]

The other side of this coin is that you are healthier, and you don't have the kind of issues one might get from pushing it (depending on their genetics)

A healthy person wants 10,000 things, a sick person only wants one thing. You still look great for your age, and can continue to train hard for decades more. Nothing bad about that

 

[headtrainer]

I wouldn’t push too hard at your age or stress yourself out about. Just have fun and do what makes you happy. You’ll live longer and enjoy bodybuilding more if you don’t take it too seriously. These young guys with freakish genetics are the ones who need to push it more if they want to see how far they can go. And even then, I’d tell them to proceed with caution. Old age creeps up on us fast!

 

[MonkeyBoy]

I am 45, turning 46 in Feb. I don't push hard anymore ( shoulders and back will kill me ) but I would say instead of pushing harder, I push to be smarter on how I do things and can still grow and enjoy the journey

 

[Virtuous]

Goggles

Zero deployments - capitalizes on being a team guy but never made a name for himself in the teams.

I will follow that up with saying he’s 100% an ultra runner and his respect is due from that and that alone.

Writes some bullshit tell all book where he goes into him screening for the command and CAG and bitches about “racism” for the reason being he didn’t make it. Tier one units are essentially begging for African Americans to get to that side of the house for reduced signature work throughout Africa and the Middle East.

Any NSW operator can screen for CAG it isn’t some elusive invite like he claims, it’s legitimate a mass email that goes out to everyone at group one or two (both coasts). After two rotations through a platoon you can screen for the command (development group), his rotations were at TRADET west not deployments.

His value was one he derived personally, some ridiculous let’s train all day and that will make us hard. It’s absurd at best, run yourself into the ground, miss all your KPIs and fall from the pack. Running all day doesn’t translate to a deployable skill - after 17 deployments I’ve never ran more than 200M in a straight shot.

Faking injuries to avoid deployments, not being a quality asset but a liability, and lacking base level skill sets while having a chip on your shoulder = a recipe for disaster.

Any of the public “large” names out there are typically pieces of shit.

Curious to get your take on Andy Stumpf, I love his podcast. Doesnt talk a whole lot about his military background except when directly answering questions about it, seems cool.

 

[Elvia1023]

It's a valid thought especially for you because you didn't do anything in your younger years. Those were a lot of lost years which you could have built size and carried on building more size or maintained it on a more sensible protocol over the long term. Generally speaking I think most are best starting low and gradually building up the dose. Although that doesn't mean sticking to low doses for 10 years and simply means go up to a decent amount but just be sensible about it and do it over a period of time. Now sure if you just do 500mg cycles over and over you are going to struggle to progressively build size but I doubt the drugs is the main reason why 99% of people fail.

The more drugs the better within reason but I honestly don't think there is that much difference going from 1 gram to 2 grams and 3 grams etc. Obviously they can help significantly but if you don't have it at 1 gram you most likely wouldn't have it at 2 or 3 or 5 grams. It's not like if you are following x plan and you double your dose you just put on 20 pounds of muscle over time due to your dose. When I have gone higher in dose (many times) it's actually gone against me and that was in my early 30's so I wasn't old. A lot of guys (especially naturals or guys who only low dose) think the higher you go in drugs the better you will look and it's as simple as more is better but that is definitely not the case.

I think most of us could look back and think I wish I put more effort into things consistently and whilst they may have not pushed the drugs that high I doubt they pushed food consistently as they could have and that would have been a more important factor in them not growing as big as they could have.

You are 40 now so you shouldn't really be bulking but that's up to you. If it's so important you could try and get really big and lean over the next year just to see where you end up. I am nearly 39 and I told myself no bulking after 40 so this is my last year and I will be doing it again but afterwards I will try to get as fit as possible. It should go without stating putting on large amounts of weight in your 40's is not good for your health but 1 year should be ok if you do it intelligently. I would recommend you go the other way though. Why don't you give yourself the goal to get as shredded and fit as possible and do that and get pics done.

It's always best having an exact goal in mind you can work towards otherwise you end up between goals and usually just maintaining and starting threads like this. You are only 40 you can still look your best ever and whilst that won't take away the regret of being lazy in your teens you can't change the past but you can change how you will feel about yourself in the future.

 

[kastro]

Hey guys,

(Sorry for the bit of rambly Post, I hope this is ok to post here. Really would like to have input from the guys on this forum though, I respect you a lot)

the Discussion in the recent Jay Cutler Thread sparked me to think about my "career" in Bodybuilding, and I have reached a conclusion that I have basically wasted my time and failed to use the opportunity I had.

Quoting myself:



For context, I have not been physically active in my teenager years, and been fat and lazy in my years between 16-26. Like didn't do anything physical, was super overfat (150 kg at my heaviest... and all fat, no muscle). Turned my live around when I turned 27, lost the fat and picked up lifting and wrestling. Was pretty lean by the end of 29, and stayed that way since then - never wanting to get fat again. I hoped on gear in my mid 30s, just using the basic 500 Test/week cycle, tried some orals but didn't really like them, and then just went for Test+Deca when I was blasting, Test/Deca 500/600 - Mostly because that what I could fit into my 3 ml syringe and only have to inject twice per week .

For reference, this was me last year at the end of my blast:

View attachment 167941 View attachment 167942View attachment 167943 View attachment 167944

And here are some current Pictures, please excuse the body hair, I am not shaving when it is Fall/Winter (175 cm short, at a light 105 kg)

View attachment 167945View attachment 167946View attachment 167947View attachment 167948

I have some gyno issues (gyno started when I was 16, and it got worse from being fat all those decades) and obviously a lot of loose skin which will never go away, but I'm not going to get surgery, it is just too expensive, and I can't take not lifting weights and not grappling (No BJJ, no Judo, no wrestling) for 3 months, I would go insane. Strenuous Exercise is my therapy.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else regret not having pushed the limits while he was young, and his body was able to withstand the beating?

I mean, I will continue to lift Iron and grapple every day until I'm 6 feet under, but I wouldn't mind having 20 kg more muscle mass . I just know I can't push it hard, it would not be productive. I have digestive issues, I wouldn't be able to eat 6000 kcals or more every day, even with foods that I can tolerate well. Also, I will never place well in any Bodybuilding Competition, my loose skin and gyno are just too bad (I know, that's my fault, still sucks). I mean it would maybe be a good experience to really get stage lean and go through a tough, hard prep - to build character and be okay with feeling shitty for weeks, voluntarily. But knowing that I'm not gonna place well despite how lean and shredded I'm coming in the show.

Really appreciate any kind of feedback and thoughts from you. Also would appreciate physique critique - I like my back, but I think my arms are lacking, especially the triceps, also my delts (and my legs are tiny, really need to bring those up)

Cheers

You have a very thick back bro

 

[Cerberus777]

The other side of this coin is that you are healthier, and you don't have the kind of issues one might get from pushing it (depending on their genetics)

A healthy person wants 10,000 things, a sick person only wants one thing. You still look great for your age, and can continue to train hard for decades more. Nothing bad about that

This!! OP look at the progress you've made insteadof what you cannot do. Look at the fact you won't be obese riding a cart around Walmart. You made huge improvements.

 

[Cerberus777]

I forgot to mention. You can always improve even within certain set points. If you grapple try the abductor machine. Once you can do the full stack for 30+ Noone can break your guard.

 

[Performance Based]

Curious to get your take on Andy Stumpf, I love his podcast. Doesnt talk a whole lot about his military background except when directly answering questions about it, seems cool.

General way to look at the community - For NSW did they go to the command?

Andy did, had a great career at gold. Beyond solid and stellar guy. For the Coronado/Little Creek side, did their career last longer than four deployments? If so did they go the Warrant officer route if they were enlisted?

White side vs. the command are very different careers - what did they do on their respective sides?

For CAG - is their name public (cough Pat Mac cough) and do they train civilians? If they work with civilians or LEOs there’s a reason for that.

 

[emeric delczeg]

I am of the same opinion as you - we should push hard when we are young, uninjured and our body is healthy

when we wait and go very slowly with doses up, we will most likely never get close to the maximum of our potential - I have the same thing, I didn't push hard before I was 30 but only because I was very poor and my money was limited

now i'm 34 i'm healthy so until i'm 40 i'm giving myself time to push things hard and see how far i can go

Push your self smart. I am 70 and still pushing hard, focus on longevity.

 

[emeric delczeg]

Hey guys,

(Sorry for the bit of rambly Post, I hope this is ok to post here. Really would like to have input from the guys on this forum though, I respect you a lot)

the Discussion in the recent Jay Cutler Thread sparked me to think about my "career" in Bodybuilding, and I have reached a conclusion that I have basically wasted my time and failed to use the opportunity I had.

Quoting myself:



For context, I have not been physically active in my teenager years, and been fat and lazy in my years between 16-26. Like didn't do anything physical, was super overfat (150 kg at my heaviest... and all fat, no muscle). Turned my live around when I turned 27, lost the fat and picked up lifting and wrestling. Was pretty lean by the end of 29, and stayed that way since then - never wanting to get fat again. I hoped on gear in my mid 30s, just using the basic 500 Test/week cycle, tried some orals but didn't really like them, and then just went for Test+Deca when I was blasting, Test/Deca 500/600 - Mostly because that what I could fit into my 3 ml syringe and only have to inject twice per week .

For reference, this was me last year at the end of my blast:

View attachment 167941 View attachment 167942View attachment 167943 View attachment 167944

And here are some current Pictures, please excuse the body hair, I am not shaving when it is Fall/Winter (175 cm short, at a light 105 kg)

View attachment 167945View attachment 167946View attachment 167947View attachment 167948

I have some gyno issues (gyno started when I was 16, and it got worse from being fat all those decades) and obviously a lot of loose skin which will never go away, but I'm not going to get surgery, it is just too expensive, and I can't take not lifting weights and not grappling (No BJJ, no Judo, no wrestling) for 3 months, I would go insane. Strenuous Exercise is my therapy.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else regret not having pushed the limits while he was young, and his body was able to withstand the beating?

I mean, I will continue to lift Iron and grapple every day until I'm 6 feet under, but I wouldn't mind having 20 kg more muscle mass . I just know I can't push it hard, it would not be productive. I have digestive issues, I wouldn't be able to eat 6000 kcals or more every day, even with foods that I can tolerate well. Also, I will never place well in any Bodybuilding Competition, my loose skin and gyno are just too bad (I know, that's my fault, still sucks). I mean it would maybe be a good experience to really get stage lean and go through a tough, hard prep - to build character and be okay with feeling shitty for weeks, voluntarily. But knowing that I'm not gonna place well despite how lean and shredded I'm coming in the show.

Really appreciate any kind of feedback and thoughts from you. Also would appreciate physique critique - I like my back, but I think my arms are lacking, especially the triceps, also my delts (and my legs are tiny, really need to bring those up)

CheersU

Hey guys,

(Sorry for the bit of rambly Post, I hope this is ok to post here. Really would like to have input from the guys on this forum though, I respect you a lot)

the Discussion in the recent Jay Cutler Thread sparked me to think about my "career" in Bodybuilding, and I have reached a conclusion that I have basically wasted my time and failed to use the opportunity I had.

Quoting myself:



For context, I have not been physically active in my teenager years, and been fat and lazy in my years between 16-26. Like didn't do anything physical, was super overfat (150 kg at my heaviest... and all fat, no muscle). Turned my live around when I turned 27, lost the fat and picked up lifting and wrestling. Was pretty lean by the end of 29, and stayed that way since then - never wanting to get fat again. I hoped on gear in my mid 30s, just using the basic 500 Test/week cycle, tried some orals but didn't really like them, and then just went for Test+Deca when I was blasting, Test/Deca 500/600 - Mostly because that what I could fit into my 3 ml syringe and only have to inject twice per week .

For reference, this was me last year at the end of my blast:

View attachment 167941 View attachment 167942View attachment 167943 View attachment 167944

And here are some current Pictures, please excuse the body hair, I am not shaving when it is Fall/Winter (175 cm short, at a light 105 kg)

View attachment 167945View attachment 167946View attachment 167947View attachment 167948

I have some gyno issues (gyno started when I was 16, and it got worse from being fat all those decades) and obviously a lot of loose skin which will never go away, but I'm not going to get surgery, it is just too expensive, and I can't take not lifting weights and not grappling (No BJJ, no Judo, no wrestling) for 3 months, I would go insane. Strenuous Exercise is my therapy.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else regret not having pushed the limits while he was young, and his body was able to withstand the beating?

I mean, I will continue to lift Iron and grapple every day until I'm 6 feet under, but I wouldn't mind having 20 kg more muscle mass . I just know I can't push it hard, it would not be productive. I have digestive issues, I wouldn't be able to eat 6000 kcals or more every day, even with foods that I can tolerate well. Also, I will never place well in any Bodybuilding Competition, my loose skin and gyno are just too bad (I know, that's my fault, still sucks). I mean it would maybe be a good experience to really get stage lean and go through a tough, hard prep - to build character and be okay with feeling shitty for weeks, voluntarily. But knowing that I'm not gonna place well despite how lean and shredded I'm coming in the show.

Really appreciate any kind of feedback and thoughts from you. Also would appreciate physique critique - I like my back, but I think my arms are lacking, especially the triceps, also my delts (and my legs are tiny, really need to bring those up)

Cheers

Focus on your health.