Relationship advice

[MakeItMethylated]

How can I not be insecure after she's done things to lose my trust?

Been together for 1 year and 10 months

She hasn't done anything recently but a lot In the past

No she didn't cheat on me

She's my fiancé

I just wanna be secure about my relationship I want to trust her 100%

 

[sluggy]

Time. Trust is earned and built over time. There's no easy way to get it back when it's gone.

 

[rock75]

You either learn to let the past go and move on and decide to trust her 100% or you continue to dwell on the past and cut ties and move on without her bro.

 

[MakeItMethylated]

You either learn to let the past go and move on and decide to trust her 100% or you continue to dwell on the past and cut ties and move on without her bro.

How do I learn I have been trying to

 

[osiris]

You either learn to let the past go and move on and decide to trust her 100% or you continue to dwell on the past and cut ties and move on without her bro.

This pretty much sums it up....you either decider to trust her and that the good put weighs the bad OR move on

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[pillar3792]

Have you forgiven her fior whatever she did in the past? I know you are still together ,but that doesn't mean you forgave her. Sounds like you have concerns about being vulnerable due to past issues. Forgive her and move forward, or move on.

 

[triathloncoach]

I can never forgive or forget. So my anger rots me away. To forgive is the most important step in healing. I wish I could. I would have to move on. Your are much better off to forgive anyone who harms you. But if you don't trust her future behavior, there is only one path.

Do you have any idea how many wives and mothers cheat?

 

[osiris]

I can never forgive or forget. So my anger rots me away. To forgive is the most important step in healing. I wish I could. I would have to move on. Your are much better off to forgive anyone who harms you. But if you don't trust her future behavior, there is only one path.

Do you have any idea how many wives and mothers cheat?

I can tell you how many cheated with me, does that help?

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[thebrick]

Why in the world are you in a relationship with someone you don't trust??… much less fiancé?? Do you think things will magically change if you trade rings? Do you enjoy being in a "I have to look over my shoulder because I can't trust her" relationship? "She hasn't done anything recently"... what's recently? 6 months? 1 year? That's not a long time.

People don't "fix" trust, they earn it.

 

[moparfreak360]

Dude.....get out.....i was in the same situation, married her......love my kid but needless to say me and her dont get along well. We fight all the time.

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[MakeItMethylated]

Thanks for the advice everyone im gonnna trust her until she gives me a reason not to

I love her to death and I can't imagine being without her

I gotta work on being secure and confident

 

[Aliendogstar]

You're coming across as "needing" this person in your life instead of "wanting" this person in your life. Don't be a doormat. If that's what she wants, then she has you right where she wants you. If not, she'll respect you a whole lot more for not being a pushover and having some balls. If I have totally misconstrued the dynamics of your relationship, then I apologize. That's just how it comes across.

 

[cavdude]

sorry if this sounds negative but in my experience/opinion once there is a loss of trust-the chances for a successful 'long term' relationship/marrage are practically nill.

i think you have to be honest with yourself and ask "am i basically an insecure person who has distorted reality to fuel my personal insecurities?--or has my GF given me legitament cause for my mistrust"?

if in fact she has given you real cause for mistrust and you ignore the warning signs and continue to the next stage in your relationship and that relationship fails then who's fault is it?-yours for not heeding the warning signs or hers for having her own agenda and not being able to live up to your expectations?

if you can except the blame in the event of failure then i say 'go ahead on' my friend and best of luck,

cavdude

 

[ajdos]

I know this is easier to say then to do, but at some point you just have to realize that there is not much you can do about someone elses actions.
You can only be sure about your own actions.
I know its tough but once that sets in you will find it easier to be less concerned about what she may or may not do behind your back, in the end if people are up to no good it usually comes out and at that point you make a decision about staying or leaving.

My own personal experience was I suspected my ex-wife was cheating on me, it bothered me but I wasnt going to snoop around trying to catch her up to no good, I had too many other things going on I needed my mind and energy for. I simply told her, if she was that kind of person, and thats what she wanted to do, then I couldnt stop her, but if I found out, I was gone.
Well, I found out, and shes an ex now.

Like I said, easier to say then to do, but I think with experience and age you finally hit a point in your life where it matters a whole lot less than it did when you were younger.

 

[MakeItMethylated]

She lied to me about speaking to her ex for a while

Supposedly she never saw him or cheated on me

This is what I believe

She couldn't stay with me if she cheated on me

She would feel to bad

I'm insecure cause she lied

I've never lied to her

 

[jxm0960]

She lied to me about speaking to her ex for a while

Supposedly she never saw him or cheated on me

This is what I believe

She couldn't stay with me if she cheated on me

She would feel to bad

I'm insecure cause she lied

I've never lied to her

Bro im in the same situation right now.. shit sucks i have some really tough nights where i dont even no what to do with myself, first girl i ever fell in love with....
I caught her talking to her ex multiple times but she says its nothing
every job she gets she happens to become buddy buddy with another guy, so they start texting all the time and she tells me that its nothing.
Tonight shes actually out with her eating "work friends", we were suppose to go out but she didnt pick up my phone calls, later said she completely forgot.
Im really confused as to what i should do, ill break up with her for a week but something just keeps on bring me back into it...

 

[Gators]

Where there's smoke, there's fire. In other words, trust your intuition, if your alarm bells are going off, there's a reason, and we try not to believe it could be happening, but it usually is. Time will tell Bro.

 

[rock75]

Bro im in the same situation right now.. shit sucks i have some really tough nights where i dont even no what to do with myself, first girl i ever fell in love with....
I caught her talking to her ex multiple times but she says its nothing
every job she gets she happens to become buddy buddy with another guy, so they start texting all the time and she tells me that its nothing.
Tonight shes actually out with her eating "work friends", we were suppose to go out but she didnt pick up my phone calls, later said she completely forgot.
Im really confused as to what i should do, ill break up with her for a week but something just keeps on bring me back into it...

Yeah, it's called pussy, find a new chick and you will find that you won't be going back to her...

 

[cal]

Pretty obvious to me you are much more into than the other way...always a bad situation and deep the girl has zero respect for you...

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[GGGGGGG-UNIT]

Ive had a few relationships now and so I think it may be easier for me than others, but like another guy said, its easier said than done. Basically, the more women youve been with (from my experience of course) the less detached and less emotional youll be. my first couple of serious relationships I was gun hoe and honestly that turns em off. I know women complain about us not "being there" or "being an asshole", but if they wanted to date a woman, then they would. I guess what I am just saying is it takes awhile but its okay to be an ass sometimes, its not that you dont care, you just dont have to show it like they do. it balances things out.