Wine Induced Thoughts
Credit of this post goes to PHREEZER from the old MESO days. A man of great wisdom, instruction, and one hell of a lifter!
Read this brother and you should find your answer.
I'm going to go into some really deep thoughts right now...I mean deep...you might like what I have to say...you might not.....but it will give you something to think about.....
I have been sitting here this evening thinking about failed relationships, and circumstances in my life that have placed me on my current path……I’ve also had a bottle of wine to assist me in those contemplations
So what of this mystery of love then? What is it that brings about this most elusive of magic? So many times I have heard people proclaim that their partner is their only love, the only possible completion to their soul, and surely I have felt that way about more than one woman in my life, and I expect that some of them have felt the same about me. But logically, is that possible? Is there one other person out there who can complete the soul of another? Is it really one for one, or is it rather nothing more than a matter of circumstance?
What if reasoning beings have the capacity to love many, and it is situation instead of fate that brings them together? Logically I know this has to be the answer. I know that if I resided in another part of the world, I would still likely find that special someone that is the “completion” of my soul. Logically, in a world of so many varying races and huge populations, that must be the case, if not then, how would true lovers ever meet? I am a thinking creature, a rational being, and so I know this has to be the truth.
So is it situation or fate? I know what logic says. But I know, too, what my heart has told me. If asked at certain times in my life I would surely say that it was fate. That “She” was in fact, the one. Perhaps situation allows for some, even most, people to find a suitable partner, but there is much more to it than finding just that. Perhaps some people are just more fortunate than others, or perhaps we all only adapt to those around us.
Think about this. We have all heard that marriage is not as sacred as it once was. People now a days are more likely to get a divorce when things go wrong, where our grandparents on the other hand believed in sticking things out. I don’t believe that the older generations posses any special intuition into love that our generation has missed out on. I believe it was still circumstance even for them, more so in fact. People 50 years ago married others who lived in their towns. Others who were in close proximity of each other.
Could two people who were “meant” for one another really have grown up only a few miles apart? And could this phenomenon have happened as often as our Elders would have us believe? Or was it simply a matter of convenience. Today we have the internet, better automobiles and other more affordable travel. We can leave when things get rough and move onto the next “soul mate”, where if our Grandparents had attempted to leave one another they would probably be stuck alone for many years or possibly the rest of their lives.
I can look back and focus on all the could’a should’a woulda’s or I can move on with my life and realize that there are many fish in the sea, and take comfort in knowing that I haven’t lost out on anything by ending past relationships but instead look forward and know that there are likely more possibilities in the near future to find my “soul mate”.
So hindsight, I think, is a useless tool. We, each of us, are at place in our lives because of innumerable circumstances and we, each of us, have a responsibility (if we do not like where we are) to move along life’s road, to find a better path if this one does not suit us, or to walk happily along this one if it is indeed our life’s way. Changing even the bad things that have gone before would fundamentally change who we now are, and whether or not that would be a good thing, I believe, is impossible to predict.
You have to love yourself, that is the critical part. I think this soul mate concept that people speak of is bollocks, marriage is a partnership, more so now than ever, a friend, a partner, a person that you come to trust which is literally unheard of in this day and age....but it starts with finding resolve within yourself first. I believe that people radiate a totally different vibe when they are autonomous and comfortable, in other words, not necessarily needing anyone, perhaps wanting, granted, but not needing as many think they do...which thus begets selectiveness, and which thus ultimately leads to finding those who are more qualified to fulfill the role that you seek.....
Now when you put all of those pieces together, looking past the sexual part of it and instead trying to figure out how a woman's brain is wired such that you can assess compatibility or the lack thereof, you are more likely to succeed.
I believe that true friendship is also a valuable trait in a relationship.....and it is sometimes hard to find out if you can be friends with a woman because usually, the first thing that most men look for, as men, is sex. You see.....they begin a relationship after getting some.....perhaps if it were that we had 6 months worth of dialog with a person to figure out whether it was worth bothering with in the first place, we would not have high relationship turnover because we would not begin doomed pathways, rather, we would focus on opportunities which had a higher probability of success.
Like I was explaining to you the other day often I think, people tend to stay in relationships that are failed/failing either out of a sense of obligation to their partner, or in fear that they will be abandoning their one and only shot at true love.
More often than not the old metaphor that we can't see the forest for the trees rings with the greatest truth. Loving one's self is good advice but advice that can be taken to serious. No one likes a Narcissistic person,
but on the other hand, no one has ever found self pity to be an attractive quality either.
There will always be pro's and con's to being Married or being single. It can’t be coincidence that the
majority of our "soul mates" live within 45 minutes of our house. I would venture that 95%+ of all our daily activities fall within that 45 minute/mile range.
I think there are a number of people, in this case women, that can meet and fulfill our need for a partner. It is a matter of finding one of those people and developing a relationship with them. As humans, we can love
tons of people in different ways. There is romantic love, friendship love, and so on.
IMO, love isn’t the first requirement for a successful relationship. Friendship is. Yes, the Bible says that we are to love and honor our wife and to become one with them. I don’t dispute that at all. But I think that a friendship is really what keeps that relationship together for the long run. Who are we normally friends with? Other people that share the share same/similar views, beliefs, hobbies, and likes/dislikes.
We also have to define love. I have come to realize that love is not a feeling. It’s not that warm and fuzzy feeling that we usually equate to love. Love is a choice. You can choose to either love someone else or not to love them. Love is deciding to stay with that person and work things out when the relationship hits a rocky area. We make the choice to talk to, spend time with, and be respectful of the girl/boy we are with.
A relationship is a partnership for life. It is two people, joined as one entity (the partnership), working towards the same goals and helping each other along the way.
Obviously you can love more then one person in different ways...I feel that the person u choose to spend the rest of your life with is a combination of these different loves. When you are with that one person that you feel completes you, you know it…there is no second guessing….no thoughts of giving up and backing out
I think that experience hones down our relationship skills into ultimately finding what you want. Basically we make mistakes in our relationships and judgment, and after that relationship fails we grow and become a better lover and better friend for the next person.
My Wine induced deep thoughts……………..