Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
M4B Store Banner
intex
Riptropin Store banner
Generation X Bodybuilding Forum
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Mysupps Store Banner
IP Gear Store Banner
PM-Ace-Labs
Ganabol Store Banner
Spend $100 and get bonus needles free at sterile syringes
Professional Muscle Store open now
sunrise2
PHARMAHGH1
kinglab
ganabol2
Professional Muscle Store open now
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
azteca
granabolic1
napsgear-210x65
advertise1
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
ashp210
UGFREAK-banner-PM
esquel
YMSGIF210x65-Banner
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store

Relationship Issues

jay_dub

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2007
Messages
2,414
Is this fixable?

This is going to be long, because the current situation is so damn complicated and got to be this way over a time span of almost 5 years…

I’ve been having a lot of issues with my girlfriend of 4.5 years lately. Actually, we’ve been having issues for a long time but its all coming to a head right now. It comes down to trust and she just doesn’t have it. She says she would never believe I would ever cheat on her but because of our past she literally goes insane about certain things.

First I’ll explain fully our background so you all have a better understanding of the current issues… Laying it all out here

1. When in college I liked to party. We lived 45 minutes away from each other. I would party 1-2 times a week without her around but would also drive back to her EVERY weekend. I might have missed 2 weekends over a span of 3 years… In my days of partying I would do my drug of choice which happened to be ecstasy. I had easy access and it was extremely cheap, not to mention very good... Well my friends liked it even more than I did and I had a hard time saying no if all my buddies were taking it. It was one of those things where I wouldnt mention it if not asked about it but if asked I would admit I did it.. I never did anything with any other girls while on it, just loved socializing and being in a club setting.

2. Its been about 2 years but I used to watch porn and she had a problem with that. Cycling didn’t help at all. My sex drive would be through the roof and I couldn’t help myself. I started out telling her and being upfront but eventually hid it from her. She checked my computer on more than one occasion and found out I had been lying.

3. About 3 years ago I went on a trip for spring break. I was 21 at the time, young and dumb. I happened to kiss another girl at the club. I regretted the whole thing the second it happened and still to this day it makes me sick to think that I was stupid enough to even begin the first steps of the cheating process. I am sure as fuck no cheater. Right when I got back she seemed to suspect something had happened, well I never told her. She somehow found out on her own through talking to others who had been there with me. She broke up with me but I did everything in my power to get her back. And since then nothing has been the same really. It was really the beginning stages of her trust issues with me.

4. She had found a message facebook with me talking to a girl I had met from college. Nothing major, just some minor flirting and talk about parties. (This was before spring spreak).

So I want to make this clear. I’ve fucked up in the past. I was in college trying to maintain a relationship with some distance. I was immature and curious. I don’t do those things now. I still party on occasion but not even close to the extent it used to be.

Here is some of the current issues:

-Me chatting/texting a friend from college who happens to be one of my good friends’ ex girlfriend (who also happens to be pretty cute). My g/f and I split up about a year back. During that period I spent a lot of my free time with these two. Well I talked to her a lot about me and my g/f (ex at the time) issues and she would give me her input and just listen to me complain. I was a complete mess then, depressed and lonely. Well we still maintain a friendship even though I never see her and only have small talk conversations over text and maybe facebook chat occasionally. And by occasionally I mean once a week tops, but a lot of the time we say nothing over a month time frame. My gf straight up says she doesn’t trust me with her. She looked through my phone months back and saw a conversation I had with her through text. I’ll admit I was flirty (in a friendly kind of way, not I want to fuck you tonight type of flirting).

My gf also saw that she had asked me to lunch to catch up and talk about her and my buddy (who had just broke up). So now the tables had been turned and instead of me being the depressed mess, she was, and since I knew them both very well I figured I could help her out and give my input. I told her I would meet up with her. Well we talked more through text and a phone call but never ended up meeting anywhere. Well my gf then found it and shes been worked up about it since. She says she cant trust me and that I would have went to lunch with her for sure if it hadn’t been for her reading through my text conversation. So since then she freaks out about everything when it comes to this girl. I liked one of her status’s on facebook, of course my gf had to say something stupid about it. One time she saw we were both online on fb chat and then accused me of talking to her all the time. Last night I had mentioned a tv show being popular (one my gf has never heard of), and she asked who watches this? I said I’ve seen and heard plenty of people talk about this show and like it.. Then she goes on facebook and sees that this girl “likes” it and then says “ohh how precious, I figured it was her who talked about it”. In reality I had no fucking idea she watched the show. This type of shit is just scratching the surface… And let me just mention that my buddy who used to date this girl for something like 2 or 3 years knows we talk on occasion. He finds it laughable that my gf has a problem with it. I just want to put it into perspective that there is really NOTHING going on.

So her “solution” to this problem is for me to let her check my phone, my facebook and whatever the fuck else she thinks I could be hiding something somewhere. I tell her no. She says since I don’t let her take a look then I’m hiding shit.

-Steroids, I told her about 3 months into our relationship that I used them. She has never been ok with them due to the legality. They never cause me to be moody or change anything at all with my personality when I’m with her. I’ve fought with her for the past 5 years over what to do. Even though I’ve only competed one time and am just beginning to scratch the surface of competitive bbing, she knows how much I enjoy it. At the same time I’ve been in some legal trouble because of it 2 years back. I’m sure some of you guys remember. My roommate at the time was busted for selling some weed to someone wearing a wire and then they got a search warrant and happened to find my stash. So of course we argue about that and whos fault it was. When it comes down to it guys who obey the laws and happen to cycle on the side DON’T get caught. Its that simple. My mistake was having a dumbass roommate. Anyway, I told her I would quit and am just now going through with the process. I’ll be starting pct soon and honestly Idk how I’ll be able to handle it. I’ve been running test for over 1.5 years, cycling on and off the past 5. I honestly don’t know what life is like without them at this point. I want to compete and bodybuild forever but also love my gf.

So her solution to this is to flat out stop, no compromises, no bargains. My only hope to ever do what I wanted to do would be to find a doc to get me on trt and then do more on the side. I’m doubtful though since I’m only 25..

-Again to do with steroids, someone asked me for some “help” on knowing where to get them. I said I’d help them out. She snooped on my facebook and found the conversation. She confronted me about it. I told her I wouldn’t help them and that was that. She still brings it up and says its another reason she cant trust me and that I’m hiding things from her.


So in summary, I’ve done some shady shit in my past, tried to hide my mistakes, been caught, kissed another girl, done drugs, looked at porn, and whatever else I might have forgotten. I’ve caused some hurt for her… This was all years ago. I rarely party anymore (drinks with friends every other week MAX), I’m trying to stop using steroids (which I still HATE to think about), stopped looking at porn, but yet because I talk to a friend who happens to be female, and was considering helping a guy out to get some muscles (who I've known btw), I’m untrustworthy.

Where do I go to begin fixing this mess?

Is there a solution at all?

Should I show her my phone conversations?

I feel like I'm in fucking high school right now after reading over this shit. All this talk about facebook LOL. Fucking pathetic.
 
Last edited:
Another huge factor is that my girl has a 7 year old daughter... Her dad is not alive and we have gotten very close obviously..

I love her like she is my own even though I dont spend as much time with her as I should. I work 2 jobs, sun-sun, and drive 1.5 hours each day to my full time job so time is a major issue. Her daughter constantly talks about how she cant wait for us to get married.

Marriage has always been in the cards for us but we need to fix these MAJOR trust issues before I would ever put a ring on her finger.
 
Here is what I think:

1. You did drugs and hang out with other girls, big mistake with a relationship.

2. You never lie to your other half. If you do Steriods you tell her and deal with it rationally. What is more important too you?

3. The bottom line is this, you cheated and she will never forget. It could be 10 years from now and she will remember that.

4. Now, after you do that, you are flirting with girls on facebook were millions see it. :banghead: You don't want this to work out, do you?

Now, you are texting / chatting with another girl and you admit you are a flirt. Looking at Porn is a guy thing, but some woman view this as cheating. If she doesn't agree to watch it with you, it is not a good thing. Instead you go behind her back looking more suspcious.

I hate to tell you, but I can see your girlfriends point of view more then yours. Seems to me, you are not ready for a serious relationship because you still flirt with woman and you lie. A big no no with woman. No wonder she doesn't trust you, but she probally loves you and is a little insecure about things.

Either get serious by putting her first or get out. You other half should be your best friend and should come first over everything. I do think is fixable, but will take a lot of work. You better sit down and talk to her and be rational. What do you really want? ;)
 
Last edited:
My response in bold..

Here is what I think:

1. You did drugs and hang out with other girls, big mistake with a relationship.

I must have made this sound worse than it is, I never hung out with girls except who happened to be in the group I was with...

2. You never lie to your other half. If you do Steriods you tell her and deal with it rationally. What is more important too you?

I've ALWAYS been upfront with my use


3. The bottom line is this, you cheated and she will never forget. It could be 10 years from now and she will remember that.

4. Now, after you do that, you are flirting with girls on facebook were millions see it. :banghead: You don't want this to work out, do you?

When I said girls I meant one and it was over messages, not out in the open. This had also happened before my spring break trip. Sorry I put those out of order. Just to clarify, the spring break trip was 3 years ago..

Now, you are texting / chatting with another girl and you admit you are a flirt. Looking at Porn is a guy thing, but some woman view this as cheating. If she doesn't agree to watch it with you, it is not a good thing. Instead you go behind her back looking more suspcious.

I havent looked at porn in a looooong time. I no longer do it at all. And when I say flirt I mean an occasional smiley face or wink over text. I think I made this sound way worse than it really is...


I hate to tell you, but I can see your girlfriends point of view more then yours. Seems to me, you are not ready for a serious relationship because you still flirt with woman and you lie. A big no no with woman. No wonder she doesn't trust you, but she probally loves you and is a little insecure about things.

So my question is this, once you're in a relationship you can no longer have random small talk with female friends? You can't talk to women at all?


Either get serious by putting her first or get out. You other half should be your best friend and should come first over everything. You better sit down and talk to her and be rational. What do you really want? ;)
 
Last edited:
Ummm. You kissed another girl when you were in college? When you had a LDR? Thats not cheating kiddo. You watch porn? Join the club. You flirt with other girls on facebook and in texts? (no comment other to say you are not being very smart about leaving a trail/evidence)

Ok, whatever. IMHO

1) Her behavior is only going to get worse until you agree that you need a hall pass to go the bathroom.

2) And the biggest reason is she is the only girl you have dated as an adult (sophmore year in college to present). I would be concerned that "X" number of years from now you are going to regret that you didnt date more.

The steroid thing - you are breaking the law, if you marry her and get in legal trouble, she is going to suffer too. Also, i dont have any fucking idea how people can start gear around 20 and use it decade after decade. That cant be good for you. But im certain many here on PM will show me I am wrong. And Im happy for them.

Ok -in summary young man. You are too young to settle down. And nobody should be married to someone as big a pain in the bottom as your girlfriend. You arent so bad. Not bad at all.

But why dont you post up her photo. Then I will let you know how much grief she warrants. ;)
 
Lol two completely different viewpoints so far. I like it, keep em comin..

And Triathlon, if we're going strictly by looks shes a keeper ;)
 
I don't think you get what a serious relationship is. I will say it again, some woman view looking at porn as cheating. 2 years is not that long ago. Woman have the memories of Elephants, they do not forget. ;)

And the steriod issue is a big deal, it is illegal and the minute you leave or pissed her off, she will tell on you. It doesn't matter if you are upfront or not.Hell has no fury like a woman scorn ;)

It doesn't matter about the messages, you are doing it behind her back and not telling her. Why are you hiding things? Everything is always innocent in the beginning :rolleyes:

Your random small talk is not small talk. You already said you flirt. ;) If you are going to have random small talk and talk to girls. let her know each time, if it is innocent. ;)

I can't see marriage in your cards because of your trust issues. It won't last. I don't want to get into a debate, but when I was married I didn't have girls I had random small talks with. My wife and I had mutual friends and that is what you need to do too.

I agree with triathloncoach, you are too young yet to get married. You have some things to learn about marriage and serious relationships. ;)
 
honestly i think your being to self critical and letting her run your life.

Also once your addicted to the iron its not going to be easy to stop cycling especially when you are only stopping for someone else.
 
Well just from experience...if you had to type multiple pages and ask in "public" all these things then it is too much to recover from.
But in reality it seems the issues are small themselves but she doesn't trust you...
After 4-5 YEARS either go all in, or fold. Talk to her about it...carefully.
 
Nevermind
 
Last edited:
No use...
 
Last edited:
Never mind, I just got the call...

Our relationship is now over, just a few hours after putting this thread up.

Absolutely unreal.
 
I don't think you get what a serious
relationship is. I will say it again, some woman view looking at porn as
cheating.

AND?! That is their issue. Watching porn is hardly cheating.

And the steriod issue is a big deal, it is illegal and the minute you
leave or pissed her off, she will tell on you. It doesn't matter if you are
upfront or not.Hell has no fury like a woman scorn ;)

You say that so matter of factly! As if its the normal thing to do for
someone you shared your life with to just rat on you because the two of
you realised you are not suited for each other.

It doesn't matter about the messages, you are doing it behind
her back and not telling her. Why are you hiding things? Everything is
always innocent in the beginning
:rolleyes:

Your random small talk is not small talk. You already said you flirt. ;) If
you are going to have random small talk and talk to girls. let her know
each time, if it is innocent. ;)

Maybe that is why she has access to his phone and facebook and why his
messages are not deleted. So that she CAN see what and who he is
talking to. Maybe the reason he no longer mentiones these things is
because he knows the reaction they will evoke? Even though those
reactions are unwarranted.

I can't see marriage in your cards because of your trust issues.
It won't last. I don't want to get into a debate, but when I was married I
didn't have girls I had random small talks with. My wife and I had mutual
friends and that is what you need to do too.

His trust issues? Lol. I'm sorry but I disagree with you. I will have my
friends whether I am married or not. My wife would be more then welcome to be friends with them too, but I do not expect her to be on the same
level with them as I am. Especially when I have known them for 10 years
prior to meeting her. This would apply equally to myself and her friends.

I agree with triathloncoach, you are too young yet to get
married. You have some things to learn about marriage and serious
relationships. ;)

I also agree with triathloncoach that the OP should not yet get married
but not because of his inability to have a serious relationship but because
he should not be a slave to his partner. A relationship is about 2 equals
and compromise and understanding. NOT just doing what the
other tells you to.

Why you are being so condescending though, I really don't understand
especially when someone is seemingly quite genuine and laying everything
out for all to see and just seeking some advice. I respect your opinion but
hardly the way in which you give it.
 
Never mind, I just got the call...

Our relationship is now over, just a few hours after putting this thread up.

Absolutely unreal.

Very sorry to hear, but at the same time I would say it would probably be
for the best. You have to ask yourself. If after several years all your
fights and arguments are still over the same things is it really worth it to
keep going? Because if after several years you have not got past those
issues IMO you most likely never will.

I just recently broke up with a girl of almost 5 years. It very similar to
your case just different arguments. We both realised (I a little earlier then
her) that we were just 2 different people that simply aren't suited to each
other.

There were things about me that she was unhappy about and there were
things about her that I was unhappy about. Those things simply do not
magically appear or disappear and make you happy. You both are the way
you are and people do not simply change.

I have come to realise in my mind that finding your perfect match is
simply finding someone that makes you happy without you wanting to
change anything about them and you making them happy without them
wanting you to change anything about you.

Just my thoughts. They may or may not help. Hope you are ok.
 
Last edited:
Very sorry to hear, but at the same time I would say it would probably be
for the best. You have to ask yourself. If after several years all your
fights and arguments are still over the same things is it really worth it to
keep going? Because if after several years you have not got past those
issues IMO you most likely never will.

I just recently broke up with a girl of almost 5 years. It very similar to
your case just different arguments. We both realised (I a little earlier then
her) that we were just 2 different people that simply aren't suited to each
other.

There were things about me that she was unhappy about and there were
things about her that I was unhappy about. Those things simply do not
magically appear or disappear and make you happy. You both are the way
you are and people do not simply change.

I have come to realise in my mind that finding your perfect match is
simply finding someone that makes you happy without you wanting to
change anything about them and you making them happy without them
wanting you to change anything about you.

Just my thoughts. They may or may not help. Hope you are ok.

You are right, but at the same time I'm still completely in love with this girl. I never wanted it to end with her. We were suppose to be forever. She knows me better than anyone, I know her better than anyone, we love each other, we make each other happy, but at the same time I managed to fuck it up..

I can honestly say I know right now what it means to not be able to trust myself. On top of that I dont know if I'll be able to ever forgive myself for fucking this up. This is the WORST feeling in the world.
 
There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. I really feel that alot of guilt and pain will linger over your head if you dont make peace with it in the end. Humans make mistakes and we are all to blame at some point. The fact that you are sincere and are sorry for it does say something (a good thing) but the fact that she is hurt, is something to consider as well. All the posts before mine are very good reads and i think alot of people should read these as well. All i can tell you is giving a woman some space is sometimes all that is needed. I wont sit here and bash you and make you feel worse since you already know what u did is wrong, but i will say that i hope things get better, and that if they dont, there is possibly a good reason for it.

I somehow had that phrase " how would you feel if they did that to you" burned into my skull and often times, no matter how attractive or how convenient the other person may seem at the moment, that person may have just been a test...

Hang in there bro
 

Forum statistics

Total page views
558,037,266
Threads
135,756
Messages
2,768,609
Members
160,341
Latest member
Sickxlost
NapsGear
HGH Power Store email banner
your-raws
Prowrist straps store banner
infinity
FLASHING-BOTTOM-BANNER-210x131
raws
Savage Labs Store email
Syntherol Site Enhancing Oil Synthol
aqpharma
yourmuscleshop210x131
hulabs
ezgif-com-resize-2-1
MA Research Chem store banner
MA Supps Store Banner
volartek
Keytech banner
musclechem
Godbullraw-bottom-banner
Injection Instructions for beginners
Knight Labs store email banner
3
ashp131
YMS-210x131-V02
Back
Top