Relationship problem, cheating?

[coolio666]

OK, here is the deal.

been with this girl for over 4 years, and JUST got engaged a few month ago..

anyway i just found out that 2 weeks ago she was at bar with friends and made out for like an hour wiht some dude!! WTF! she doesn't know that i know and hasn't said anything to me.. what should i do?? like i've never been cheated on, and to me although they apparently did not sleep together, its still not cool...

 

[brandonjpowell]

Bro, I would ask her about it and see what she says. If she is going to do that now that you are engaged, what has she done before without getting caught? Or what will she do in the future after you are married?

Personally, I would confront her and then dump her on her ass. Once a cheat, always a cheat!

 

[JETHRO TULL]

I WOULDN'T WANT TO MARRY A GIRL WHO DID STUFF LIKE THAT!

I DON'T DRINK, SO I WOULDN'T WANT SOME GIRL OF MINE OUT AT THE BARS IN THE FIRST PLACE. MAKING OUT WITH SOME GUY FOR AN HOUR? I WOULDN'T MARRY HER.....

 

[Kane]

First off, you have to be absolutely sure that this did happen. Secondly, there is no excuse.. Tell her to hit the road.

 

[coolio666]

First off, you have to be absolutely sure that this did happen. Secondly, there is no excuse.. Tell her to hit the road.

well it came from one of her friends.. her friend told me that she was hammered and made out with this guy... then next morning was crying about how much she regretted it. her friend tried to justify it to me that it was just a test... to make sure she made right move wiht me.. but to me that's a bullshit excuse.

 

[Dave_19]

OK, here is the deal.

been with this girl for over 4 years, and JUST got engaged a few month ago..

anyway i just found out that 2 weeks ago she was at bar with friends and made out for like an hour wiht some dude!! WTF! she doesn't know that i know and hasn't said anything to me.. what should i do?? like i've never been cheated on, and to me although they apparently did not sleep together, its still not cool...

well back up with the engagement, I hate to say but she has only done this once that you KNOW of.. I have been cheated on by my g/f with my best friend, i beat his ass, left her and moved. Life goes on no matter how bad it sucks. 4 years is so hard to let go of, definitly confront her, if you want to be with her, make her think she is losing you over this, break up with her and ignore her for 2-3 weeks if possible if after all that time she is still comming after you and not giving up then POSSIBLY she has learned her lesson, she needs to be scared first though that shes going to lose you, if you do leave her and she gives up on you, I would just let this one go bro.. sorry to hear about this..

 

[brandonjpowell]

Bro, if she was crying the next day over what she did the night before she was not as drunk as her friend made it seem.

 

[Kane]

well it came from one of her friends.. her friend told me that she was hammered and made out with this guy... then next morning was crying about how much she regretted it. her friend tried to justify it to me that it was just a test... to make sure she made right move wiht me.. but to me that's a bullshit excuse.

Well if she's not sure after 4 years together then you might want to seriously reconsider being with her.. Don't buy the "I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing" excuse either.
Just a kiss I can understand but, If she was indeed making out with the guy for an hour then I'd bet it wasn't the first time she did something like this.

 

[vitor]

My .02 cents,

1. Tell her that you love her very much, and have a buddy in the Jewlery business, and that you are going to upgrade her engagement ring.
2. Then the next day now that you have the ring, tell her that "Linda" her friend fill in the name told you how she cheated, and you wanted to know whats going on.
3. After her tired excuse end the relationship, You have never cheated, and saying your to be your wife, meant she wouldnt need justification that she made a right or wrong decision, just move on, its hard but, if she cheats now what will happen when you have kids, or assets together.

My whole ring point is, You bought it, so keep it, go return it, sell it, but whatever u do dont let her keep it.

 

[biochemgen]

Its time to move on!!

Sorry to hear about this situation. But your gonna have to let her go. You derserve a woman who has control over her actions. A woman with character not excuses.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

gotta agree with everyone else here bro

what you have to decide is which is harder - getting over her, or staying with her and having to second-guess her every move for the rest of your life

 

[TRAPS21]

Give her the chance to explain herself and then when she is finished make it very clear that that kind of shit will not be tolerated. The tell the cheating, lying, backstabbing tramp to take a f'n hike. I had the same situation in college. I wasn't engaged thank God, but it still sucks when you have to realize someone you cared about would do that to you. Good luck bro. Keep your head up.

T21

 

[LATS]

KICK HER ASS TO THE CURB!! she just got engaged to ya and is fooling around? if she did this while being engaged, do you doubt for a second that she did not do it while you dated her?? i doubt it was her first time.. let her know you know what she did.. she will say that it did not happen blah blah or she may confess but, either way, she cheated and will probably do it again.. KICK HER TO THE CURB!! can you ever trust her again? as i said before, if she cheated while being engaged, she probably did it while you were dating..plus, how did she think you would not know? she did it in a public bar! you stae that she did not sleep with him.. how do you know?!? you dont and she will not probably admit it.. say good bye.. there are plenty of others out there who will be true..

 

[mike1107]

damn bro, kick her ass and tell her to move away

who tells you it's the first and only one time ???
it's easy to cry after but I've never thought that making something drunk gives you an excuse

 

[MikeS]

IMO you will have to break off for a while. I think it sucks ass and she sucks.
But its possible that there is still hope for the relationship later. She should
agree to counseling, and apologize her ass off and really show she knows she was wrong and it wont happen again. It wouldnt be the first time in history a relationship/marriage worked out after some sort of infedility, right!?
But the trust will never be the same-its up to you whether you think its worth all the effort you 2 will have to go through to make it better.

 

[Sigmund Roid]

I must admit that Vitor's suggestion sounds like a good one!

Either way can you update us on the recent events? I am sure you must feel like you'll face ridicule if you go against the advice most members have given you. Don't worry about that, many a strong man is brought low by a broken heart. We all wish you the best I am sure.

 

[alpha-longhorn]

hmmm... of course her friend will say she's hammered.. of course she'll say she was crying all morning...

MAKING OUT FOR AN HOUR??!?!?!? lol and wtf was her friends doing, watching this shit happen while they knew she had a FIANCEE?! F U C K T H A T!!

If i went out with a buddy who is about to be married and he's making out with some random bitch, I'd beat his ass so fast he'd wish his girl was the one who found out instead!

 

[Mr Pickles]

how'd it work out???