Relationship struggles

[hugostiglitz87]

Ughh hopefully soon i can figure it out. I hate when i think into to much cause its hard to dealing with it. We have a history. But hopefully we can figure something out if not then ya white flag thrown in.:banghead:

 

[snowpatrol]

I don't have anything new to add that hasn't already been said, so just one more vote for reason here...

Unless she commits to making a drastic change, leave ASAP

Even if she does, logic still says you should leave

Source: never accept an employer's counter-offer when you give your notice

 

[hugostiglitz87]

Why would a women stick around and put herself and Me through all this crap? We have broken up before over dumb shit. But we get back together. Everyone tells me I need a side chick. And knowing me I would feel guilty I did get one.

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[EMPIREMIND]

she's gotten comfy and complacent in your relationship.. she doesn't think you will leave her.

she doesn't appreciate you sufficiently... that's literally what her inaction means



you are not the one who should be walking on eggshells


let's be real..she's a 41 year old with 3 kids... she should be appreciating the fuck out of you.

I have to say you are completely correct about this...

 

[Alzadosghost]

ya brother you gotta move on. your not married your still free. iv date4d several older women and it always ends up this way. mostly women are sexually inept compared to men. they don't really give two shits about sex. even younger girls. lets be honest with ourselves here if we didn't instigate sex it would never even take place. women would rather sleep than fuck. polar opposites in every way. married men are just ok getting no pussy I guess. everyone has this issue eventually.

 

[hugostiglitz87]

Also ran tren for a long time in 2016 which was hard I didn't realize how paranoid I was becoming and how irritable I was. I'm naturally already like that but it made it 20x worse. I stop tren later that year and things were getting better going 2017 things got a lot better still small arguments over social media I don't follow her on any of that crap anymore. In October 2017 things were getting rough with the sex. She wasnt into it anymore or if we fought she wouldn't want to have sex cause I was a dick. There is a chance during that time she mite of cheated on me. But its to hard to say or prove. I haven't really caught her doing anything bad. One of the things I hate the most about her is she really chatty on social media and talks to everyone its so annoying.

I've put the pressure on her to tell me if she has cheated. Given her plenty of opportunity to. But nothing she says she hasn't.

I'm not perfect ive hooked up with other girls. She knows about them. Never have had sex with any of them probably should have tho lol.

Will see were this goes. Eventually I will get over it if this continues she will still let me fuck her but I put on all the work in lol she doesn't do shit.

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[little slice]

Why would a women stick around and put herself and Me through all this crap? We have broken up before over dumb shit. But we get back together. Everyone tells me I need a side chick. And knowing me I would feel guilty I did get one.

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the benefits outweigh the costs for her.


dude, she's a single mom in her 40's... if you leave, she is pretty much fucked. she needs to understand and respect that.

you've fluffed up her ego waaaaaay too much.



sounds like you care about her way more than she cares about you.


women tend to only see their own wants, needs, and problems...this is known as 'solipsism'

add 3 kids into the equation, and you are so far on the backburner that you need to make a massive bonfire just to be noticed.

 

[ThinkTank]

you are not the one who should be walking on eggshells


let's be real..she's a 41 year old with 3 kids... she should be appreciating the fuck out of you.

:yeahthat: x1000

That is the reality of the situation. Start living with this mindset and either she will suddenly appreciate you and put effort into the relationship, or you can move on with your self esteem intact.

 

[Vikingiron33]

responce

I'd say she is with someone else... if she doesn't want sex the only thing I can think unless your doing something she hates and not stopping, is that she checked out. I would say if you have time to start planning your new life around her. There are tons of women out there that want to have sex all of the time and there is no reason you can't get it. Take a strong stance and keep it moving.

 

[akimbo]

If she is not caring for your sex life then quit it. It is normal that there phases and reasons where sex is not a priority in relationship. I expect from my partner that we share a common goal to always honestly care for the needs of each one - even if there are those mentioned phases. You dont have to fuck every day, but you show each other that you care.

So if someone obviously does not, then that is a clear reason for me to quit the relationship.

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[little slice]

married men are just ok getting no pussy I guess.

no, they aren't

they just have no choice. they signed a legal document with the state.

Will see were this goes. Eventually I will get over it if this continues she will still let me fuck her but I put on all the work in lol she doesn't do shit.

yeah, that's really common


and lol @ guys saying she's fucking someone on the side.. she's 41 with 3 kids, she has different priorities other than keeping OP (the man she is supposed to love) happy.

 

[Kaladryn]

Also ran tren for a long time in 2016 which was hard I didn't realize how paranoid I was becoming and how irritable I was. I'm naturally already like that but it made it 20x worse. I stop tren later that year and things were getting better going 2017 things got a lot better still small arguments over social media I don't follow her on any of that crap anymore. In October 2017 things were getting rough with the sex. She wasnt into it anymore or if we fought she wouldn't want to have sex cause I was a dick. There is a chance during that time she mite of cheated on me. But its to hard to say or prove. I haven't really caught her doing anything bad. One of the things I hate the most about her is she really chatty on social media and talks to everyone its so annoying.

I've put the pressure on her to tell me if she has cheated. Given her plenty of opportunity to. But nothing she says she hasn't.

I'm not perfect ive hooked up with other girls. She knows about them. Never have had sex with any of them probably should have tho lol.

Will see were this goes. Eventually I will get over it if this continues she will still let me fuck her but I put on all the work in lol she doesn't do shit.

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You just explained her lack of interest, you can't be an irritable dick, you can't be the way it seems "everyone is" or whatever comes naturally, you can't be "fair" and "equal." You have to do and be much, much more than that to make a relationship work. I know the counter-argument, you don't want to sacrifice everything for someone who doesn't care as much but that is no way to love.

 

[hugostiglitz87]

You just explained her lack of interest, you can't be an irritable dick, you can't be the way it seems "everyone is" or whatever comes naturally, you can't be "fair" and "equal." You have to do and be much, much more than that to make a relationship work. I know the counter-argument, you don't want to sacrifice everything for someone who doesn't care as much but that is no way to love.

Smart man. Im trying to rebuild what was lost I guess. Trying work things out this year I have made huge changes but still the progression is so slow in the relationship I didn't realize it was this bad until last october. I'm like damn I'm getting older need to figure it out quick.

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[NEMSZ]

the benefits outweigh the costs for her.


dude, she's a single mom in her 40's... if you leave, she is pretty much fucked. she needs to understand and respect that.

you've fluffed up her ego waaaaaay too much.



sounds like you care about her way more than she cares about you.


women tend to only see their own wants, needs, and problems...this is known as 'solipsism'

add 3 kids into the equation, and you are so far on the backburner that you need to make a massive bonfire just to be noticed.

no, they aren't

they just have no choice. they signed a legal document with the state.







yeah, that's really common


and lol @ guys saying she's fucking someone on the side.. she's 41 with 3 kids, she has different priorities other than keeping OP (the man she is supposed to love) happy.

Let me quote this so OP can read it again on his way down..

Little Slice has a real good way of making his points.. Wish I could put my thoughts together in some of the ways you do lol... Then again, I don’t write enough for shit

 

[hugostiglitz87]

well all this stress from this drama and work. I sorta was getting earful from my boss on something that wasnt really directed towards but involves me. I was off in 10 mintues but lost my wit and told my boss after she was complaing to me i told her "if someone can do my job better than me so be it", My boss just looked at me and said she isnt excusing me of anything just explaining something to me.

I didnt yell or anything just frustrated from all the bs from work this week and personal life.

I aplogized right away im assuming my boss was ok she understood its been a crazy week.

 

[m314]

Being miserable in a sexless relationship can spill over to every other area of your life. There's just no way around the unhappiness if you're trying to stay faithful to someone who won't have sex with you.

Getting out is scary, and it sucks at first. Life gets better after that. It gets much, much better.

 

[little slice]

having female bosses has really taught me how to be a 'yes man' lol

 

[notorius]

Certain women do not appreciate an affectionate man in life, they vow to the opposite. I have dealt with this twice in life, but set certain red lines and deadlines to not let things trespass, once it got too close, I just packed without giving any notice and left, considering that I have given dialogue enough opportunities.
One of the greatest feelings when they start writing and calling you for months and leaving voice messages with their cries begging you to at least answer the phone.

In your case it might work, it might not, the main thing is that you will get out of this hell, you are 31 and you want to have your OWN kids, and you will have plenty of women with better social environment in your path, and with better readiness for a healthy relationship.

 

[hugostiglitz87]

Certain women do not appreciate an affectionate man in life, they vow to the opposite. I have dealt with this twice in life, but set certain red lines and deadlines to not let things trespass, once it got too close, I just packed without giving any notice and left, considering that I have given dialogue enough opportunities.
One of the greatest feelings when they start writing and calling you for months and leaving voice messages with their cries begging you to at least answer the phone.

In your case it might work, it might not, the main thing is that you will get out of this hell, you are 31 and you want to have your OWN kids, and you will have plenty of women with better social environment in your path, and with better readiness for a healthy relationship.

Lol I was reading this to her [emoji23][emoji23][emoji859] she agrees with you

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[notorius]

Lol I was reading this to her [emoji23][emoji23][emoji859] she agrees with you ��

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My friend, she agrees to the last chapter for sure. She is telling you to move on in your life. Again, do read this to her and see.