Relationship struggles

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 1, 2018

notorius said:
My friend, she agrees to the last chapter for sure. She is telling you to move on in your life. Again, do read this to her and see.

Ya man I need to. This is getting to the point that all the effort I'm doing is not being appreciated.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

little slice · Jul 1, 2018

hugostiglitz87 said:
Ya man I need to. This is getting to the point that all the effort I'm doing is not being appreciated.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

welcome to marriage in the 21st century...

oh wait.. you aren't married?

you lucky SOB!

most guys don't get this warning..

maldorf · Jul 3, 2018

If you are still looking to save the relationship I do have one idea that might be having some influence. You say she used to be really interested in having sex with you but now she doesn't. Has she put on a good amount of weight in the last year or so? Many women will lose interest in sex because they don't feel sexy anymore because of all the added weight. If they don't like their own body anymore then they may feel "gross" when they see themselves naked even. If they don't feel good about themselves then they will never be in the mood.

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 3, 2018

maldorf said:
If you are still looking to save the relationship I do have one idea that might be having some influence. You say she used to be really interested in having sex with you but now she doesn't. Has she put on a good amount of weight in the last year or so? Many women will lose interest in sex because they don't feel sexy anymore because of all the added weight. If they don't like their own body anymore then they may feel "gross" when they see themselves naked even. If they don't feel good about themselves then they will never be in the mood.

No she hasn't she still looks good. I don't think confidence is her problem.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

notorius · Jul 3, 2018

hugostiglitz87 said:
No she hasn't she still looks good. I don't think confidence is her problem.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

The big question now is: are you going to keep posting in here without any action, or at least planning to go into action?

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 3, 2018

notorius said:
The big question now is: are you going to keep posting in here without any action, or at least planning to go into action?

I plan on going into action this week before her birthday comes up in 3 weeks. We have already talked about a few things its on her now if she wants to seek help.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

maldorf · Jul 4, 2018

hugostiglitz87 said:
No she hasn't she still looks good. I don't think confidence is her problem.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

I was hoping it might be that. What she is doing to you is what my first wife did to me when she was cheating on me. I would be real worried. I hope for your sake that she didn't lie to you about not cheating.

little slice · Jul 5, 2018

maldorf said:
I was hoping it might be that. What she is doing to you is what my first wife did to me when she was cheating on me. I would be real worried. I hope for your sake that she didn't lie to you about not cheating.

totally different circumstances tho..

OP is not married, she's in her 40's, and she has 3 kids

she would have to be absolutely insane to cheat... whereas a married woman cheating and destroying her marriage is typically a financially beneficial move for her.

lntense · Jul 5, 2018

Sounds like she resents you. You gave her too much control more than likely. No offense but she's in her later years and has 3 kids, you're young and have no kids. I'm assuming you also make more money than her? You are the catch in the relationship. Move on if she is not giving you what you need, especially if you're giving her everything she needs.

Hey, at least you're not married, don't have kids, and can do whatever you want still.

little slice · Jul 5, 2018

lntense said:
Sounds like she resents you. You gave her too much control more than likely. No offense but she's in her later years and has 3 kids, you're young and have no kids. I'm assuming you also make more money than her? You are the catch in the relationship. Move on if she is not giving you what you need, especially if you're giving her everything she needs.

it's not resentment..

she had 3 kids with her alpha, now she is receiving provision and comfort from her beta (OP).

this is the female dualistic mating strategy

she feels no need to reciprocate for OP.. why would she? he's the beta male in this relationship.

his purpose is to provide for her, and for the alpha's children.

I will concede however, if the alpha male is still in the picture, there is a (strong) possibility that she is still having sex with him.

Kaladryn · Jul 5, 2018

the whole alpha/beta thing is total bullshit

little slice · Jul 5, 2018

Kaladryn said:
the whole alpha/beta thing is total bullshit

im sure there's a better name for it..

but it's definitely very real.

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 6, 2018

lntense said:
Sounds like she resents you. You gave her too much control more than likely. No offense but she's in her later years and has 3 kids, you're young and have no kids. I'm assuming you also make more money than her? You are the catch in the relationship. Move on if she is not giving you what you need, especially if you're giving her everything she needs.

Hey, at least you're not married, don't have kids, and can do whatever you want still.

You make sense brother its the emotional connection and my life is balanced right now. I don't like my situation try not to think about the bs. I do make more money than her. I don't have any kids never been married spent the last 4 years with her. Its her birthday month so I can't do much right now but time will come soon. My effort is there hers isn't and its hard. I'm not myself I hate being emotional.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 6, 2018

little slice said:
it's not resentment..

she had 3 kids with her alpha, now she is receiving provision and comfort from her beta (OP).

this is the female dualistic mating strategy

she feels no need to reciprocate for OP.. why would she? he's the beta male in this relationship.

his purpose is to provide for her, and for the alpha's children.

I will concede however, if the alpha male is still in the picture, there is a (strong) possibility that she is still having sex with him.

I the alpha has his own lady. He knocked her up and cheated on her. So they are just barely friends.

Her kids will always be before me I accept that. But all the other bs I don't need.

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

txpipeliner88 · Jul 6, 2018

Dude seriously get out, all you are doing is wasting your time and putting yourself through much more emotional stress than needed. A year with out sex is just ridiculous you could have gotten laid more being single with out the stress of her and her kids that you are providing for financially. It’s her job to provide for you physically and emotionally and she isn’t doing her job. Think of it as an employer you hired this chick to perform a certain job and she hasn’t been performing any of the responsibilities just showing up to work and not doing anything. Would you as her employer keep her on payroll even though she is just there taking up space or would you terminate her employment and start searching for more qualified applicant? You would fire her because no employer with any brain is going to keep an employee that does nothing beneficial for the company. Your gf is doing the same thing to you she’s there but doing nothing just costing you stress and money.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

lntense · Jul 6, 2018

little slice said:
it's not resentment..

she had 3 kids with her alpha, now she is receiving provision and comfort from her beta (OP).

this is the female dualistic mating strategy

she feels no need to reciprocate for OP.. why would she? he's the beta male in this relationship.

his purpose is to provide for her, and for the alpha's children.

I will concede however, if the alpha male is still in the picture, there is a (strong) possibility that she is still having sex with him.

Poor choice of a word, I meant lack of respect.

dale338 · Jul 6, 2018

hugostiglitz87 said:
I express this to her at least every other week. And she is just at a loss for words. And tells me that she doesnt know whats wrong but still doesnt seek help. Well im over here doing everything i can to make it better going to threapy has helped alot but still only goes so far. My girlfriend needs to seek help and try and fix issue then we can throw in the white flag. I love my girl alot and all I want is for her to be happy she amazing person and i love her depply but my sanity is being tested every week and its hard. I am progressing in life and i want her to be here at my side with that progression cause she helped alot in my progression as a man in life everything. She litterally made me give a fuck again.

I mean this in no disrespectful way and do not take it as an absolute, but you best be looking into ANY gaps during the day when she could be sexual with someone else. Most women hit a sexual peak about age 40, or a renewed sexual awakening. The phenomenon is real. "I just have no libido" BS, I'd follow her 24/7 for a week. You might find your answer. Just sayin.

The old saying is generally true in over 95% of cases unless she has a medical condition and that saying is, "if she ain't getting it from you, she's getting it someplace else."

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 7, 2018

I've always thought this dude. But hard to prove. I don't have the energy anymore to look into her life when I'm not around. In a fucked up way she still has sex with Me not as much or no meaning behind it no affection.

dale338 said:
I mean this in no disrespectful way and do not take it as an absolute, but you best be looking into ANY gaps during the day when she could be sexual with someone else. Most women hit a sexual peak about age 40, or a renewed sexual awakening. The phenomenon is real. "I just have no libido" BS, I'd follow her 24/7 for a week. You might find your answer. Just sayin.

The old saying is generally true in over 95% of cases unless she has a medical condition and that saying is, "if she ain't getting it from you, she's getting it someplace else."

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk

notorius · Jul 7, 2018

Hire a private investigator, I am sure within a week you will get some answers and go from there.
Problem is, you are so naive and not private to the point you are letting her know about this thread. If you hire someone, then stop talking about it to her period so she does not know about the investigation idea, hence she wouldn't change her overall stances when you are not around her.

Bottom line, in your place I would not even give her some time to fix the damage she is causing in this relationship as you've written previously, and, even if she fixes it, the outcome would be unnatural and without any feelings/emotions, I do believe this is not what you are seeking.

hugostiglitz87 · Jul 7, 2018

notorius said:
Hire a private investigator, I am sure within a week you will get some answers and go from there.
Problem is, you are so naive and not private to the point you are letting her know about this thread. If you hire someone, then stop talking about it to her period so she does not know about the investigation idea, hence she wouldn't change her overall stances when you are not around her.

Bottom line, in your place I would not even give her some time to fix the damage she is causing in this relationship as you've written previously, and, even if she fixes it, the outcome would be unnatural and without any feelings/emotions, I do believe this is not what you are seeking.

Ya brother I understand its a learning curvs with emotional attachment

Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk