Rough 2 months

[Blacktail]

My wife was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at the beginning of December and it has really taken a toll on me. Lucky she is doing good so far. I’m very proud of the way she is handling this situation.
for me I have lost 10lbs and been doing half ass workouts at best. I’m hoping once she settles in on the chemotherapy schedule that I can get my head back to normal.
has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so I’m sorry, but if you can I would like to hear about how you handled it.

thanks
blacktail

 

[Virtuous]

I had liver surgery to take out half my liver, which put me down for a while and the surgery itself was a close call - 3 hours robotic turned into 11 hours open, I got rhabdo from the physical stress, doctor said it was rough.

Took a bit to recover, but the hardest part was seeing my wife mope around feeling bad for me. I felt guilty and her lack of excitement for life was worse than my illness.

If I can make a suggestion, be the best version of you that you can be, and give that to your wife. If she sees you as collateral damage to her sickness, it’ll only hurt

 

[kastro]

You are not alone my man.I lost my oldest son at 15 years old to muscular dystrophy.I cannot explain the pain we went through.You never get over it but you hold on to the great memories.In Feb of 2020 I went into sepsis due to a spider bite.Was in a coma for three months then had to learn how to walk and eat another three months.They had to amputate my fingers on my right hand due to the swelling.I went into the ER that day weighing 260 and came out weighing 160 with test levels in the 30s! But I kept going found a way to lift with adjustments and feel and look better.Life is a mother bro but we have to look keep going.My outlook has changed so much and appreciate the little things much more.

 

[Blacktail]

I had liver surgery to take out half my liver, which put me down for a while and the surgery itself was a close call - 3 hours robotic turned into 11 hours open, I got rhabdo from the physical stress, doctor said it was rough.

Took a bit to recover, but the hardest part was seeing my wife mope around feeling bad for me. I felt guilty and her lack of excitement for life was worse than my illness.

If I can make a suggestion, be the best version of you that you can be, and give that to your wife. If she sees you as collateral damage to her sickness, it’ll only hurt

You make a very good point! I can totally see that happening.
thank you so very much for sharing!

 

[Blacktail]

You are not alone my man.I lost my oldest son at 15 years old to muscular dystrophy.I cannot explain the pain we went through.You never get over it but you hold on to the great memories.In Feb of 2020 I went into sepsis due to a spider bite.Was in a coma for three months then had to learn how to walk and eat another three months.They had to amputate my fingers on my right hand due to the swelling.I went into the ER that day weighing 260 and came out weighing 160 with test levels in the 30s! But I kept going found a way to lift with adjustments and feel and look better.Life is a mother bro but we have to look keep going.My outlook has changed so much and appreciate the little things much more.

Omg that is one hell of a fight you had to deal with!
I totally appreciate yo sharing that and I’m glad you pulled through!

 

[kastro]

Omg that is one hell of a fight you had to deal with!
I totally appreciate yo sharing that and I’m glad you pulled through!

You're welcome.Keep your head up she needs you to be strong for her.

 

[stackdizzy]

I had open heart surgery 3 years ago to replace a mitral valve at 41 years old. Was in and out of the hospital for 6 months after due to complications. At the end I had to have someone carry my backpack as I could not.

2 years later(1 year ago) got rhabdo really bad was in the hospital 2 months and then I had to spend another two weeks learning how to walk again. I lost 60lbs during the 2 months and at one point they told my family I wasn't going to make it as my liver, kidneys shut down and I was bleeding internally in 3 places. But surgery and being on dialysis round the clock saved my life. I am now healthy and my bloods are good. I started back at the gym about 7 months ago squatting the bar and shoulder pressing 10s.

Life can throw you some pretty low times man take it hour by hour if you have to and everyone is stronger then they think they are. I know it's hard to see sometimes

 

[gib68sg]

My heart goes out to everyone in this thread. There are some strong mothaf*ckas here and then there are you guys. An inspiration to everyone. Reminds you that times can get tough but you can push through.

Blacktail, modern medicine is crazy. You guys can do this…and I mean this sincerely…you’ll need to be “strong” for your wife, but don’t be afraid to let your emotions out to others. Everyone needs to be heard. It saved my life when I was going through some stuff with my family. Tough dudes get upset too.

 

[01dragonslayer]

My wife was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at the beginning of December and it has really taken a toll on me. Lucky she is doing good so far. I’m very proud of the way she is handling this situation.
for me I have lost 10lbs and been doing half ass workouts at best. I’m hoping once she settles in on the chemotherapy schedule that I can get my head back to normal.
has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so I’m sorry, but if you can I would like to hear about how you handled it.

thanks
blacktail

No personal experience my friend. I can't imagine what both of you are going through. The uncertainty is probably the hardest to deal with. This undoubtedly will grow you and your spouse closer. Be by her side and let her know that you are with her through the entire process. Encourage her to be strong and preserve.
I said this before......we are here for you brotha. My prayers go out to you and her.

 

[Blacktail]

No personal experience my friend. I can't imagine what both of you are going through. The uncertainty is probably the hardest to deal with. This undoubtedly will grow you and your spouse closer. Be by her side and let her know that you are with her through the entire process. Encourage her to be strong and preserve.
I said this before......we are here for you brotha. My prayers go out to you and her.

Thank you my friend

 

[badguy]

Blacktail-
My wife has the same exact stage as your wife and was discovered in November. Since November it metastasized to her liver. Last month went down to MD Anderson in Houston..the Best..and they removed 65% of her liver!
Now next week “WE” start chemo on colon!
Blacktail…notice what I said ..WE..both my wife and I are in this together! Support her, love her, take away any stress that can affect her.
God Bless my friend and if you have any questions PM me.
Big Hug!

 

[Dave Perez]

I had open heart surgery 3 years ago to replace a mitral valve at 41 years old. Was in and out of the hospital for 6 months after due to complications. At the end I had to have someone carry my backpack as I could not.

2 years later(1 year ago) got rhabdo really bad was in the hospital 2 months and then I had to spend another two weeks learning how to walk again. I lost 60lbs during the 2 months and at one point they told my family I wasn't going to make it as my liver, kidneys shut down and I was bleeding internally in 3 places. But surgery and being on dialysis round the clock saved my life. I am now healthy and my bloods are good. I started back at the gym about 7 months ago squatting the bar and shoulder pressing 10s.

Life can throw you some pretty low times man take it hour by hour if you have to and everyone is stronger then they think they are. I know it's hard to see sometimes

On September 27 just after my 63rd birthday I had a quadruple bypass and a new mitral valve...my lvef was 25%...I spent 12 days in the ICU and another week in a private room ...I needed a walker the first few days just to walk 12 feet to the bathroom...took another month before I could walk a 1/2 mile...I lost 35 pounds in 4 weeks...however the worst was how much pain I had in my spine...no one could explain why it felt like I was laying on a rock...finally I figured out that when my chest was split open all of my ribs that connect to my spine by cartilage were damaged...one month after discharge I went to the gym and was able to bench an empty bar for 10 reps.,.barely...I am now up to 135 3x10... a year ago I could do 50 pushups...a few days ago I got 15...leg work is another story...after a few sets I feel light-headed and break out in a cold sweat...my sleep is all messed up...all of the meds I take make me constipated...I can empathize completely...

 

[kastro]

Blacktail-
My wife has the same exact stage as your wife and was discovered in November. Since November it metastasized to her liver. Last month went down to MD Anderson in Houston..the Best..and they removed 65% of her liver!
Now next week “WE” start chemo on colon!
Blacktail…notice what I said ..WE..both my wife and I are in this together! Support her, love her, take away any stress that can affect her.
God Bless my friend and if you have any questions PM me.
Big Hug!

Best wishes to your family.

 

[Dens228]

Best wishes. I've been there with my wife, a breast cancer survivor. I have my own issues I've posted a few weeks ago.
My mom is a lung cancer survivor. Stay strong!

 

[Blacktail]

Blacktail-
My wife has the same exact stage as your wife and was discovered in November. Since November it metastasized to her liver. Last month went down to MD Anderson in Houston..the Best..and they removed 65% of her liver!
Now next week “WE” start chemo on colon!
Blacktail…notice what I said ..WE..both my wife and I are in this together! Support her, love her, take away any stress that can affect her.
God Bless my friend and if you have any questions PM me.
Big Hug!

Thank you my friend. I’m praying for both of you. I know exactly how hard this is one you both.

 

[alfresco]

My wife was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at the beginning of December and it has really taken a toll on me. Lucky she is doing good so far. I’m very proud of the way she is handling this situation.
for me I have lost 10lbs and been doing half ass workouts at best. I’m hoping once she settles in on the chemotherapy schedule that I can get my head back to normal.
has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so I’m sorry, but if you can I would like to hear about how you handled it.

thanks
blacktail

Cancer is a family disease.

I am happy that she is "doing good so far'. She is very fortunate to have
you and you to have her. You both are very strong, are strongest together.
Remember that.

For me, anything similar? Yes, more than I care to remember. Lots and
lots. And to be honest, in retrospect, I literally have no idea. Sure I showed
up. But was it really me? Was I really there? Was I present? Was I
mindful? No.

I do know this, with the person I was closest with, and it is something
I am not proud of and I hope you don't go down that rabbit hole, and
that is alcohol. That was how I handled it. Not drunk but enough of a
buzz to numb things down. So that is a sure fire way of how to not handle
it. If you are anything like me, you will regret not having those feelings
and memories as they were; good and bad, raw and unfiltered.

In other the cases, I just just showed up, just me, the best me I could be.
That is the hardest part. That is what I say to the guy at the gym each
morning . . . the hardest part of the day is getting out of bed.

Just show up, be present and open to all your feelings and thoughts,
good or bad. Do not judge them, accept them, do not fight them. This
is an experience that you can't think yourself out of. Follow your heart
one day at a time. Control what you can and let go of what you can't.

And take care of yourself. That is what your wonderful wife wants too.
If you are sick and not one hundred percent then this will hurt you
both. Be well and stay well both mentally and physically.

This is a new beginning for you both.

Be present, be strong, be caring, be loving, be consistent, be fun, be sad,
be angry, be patient, be compassionate, be hopeful, be realistic.

Just be there for her, just like you are. Just be there.

I wish you both a long and loving life together. You will get through this.
Know that, and feel that, and share that.

 

[carbs]

Dude just spend as much time as you can with her and enjoy it.

Losing muscle is not important.