My wife was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at the beginning of December and it has really taken a toll on me. Lucky she is doing good so far. I’m very proud of the way she is handling this situation.
for me I have lost 10lbs and been doing half ass workouts at best. I’m hoping once she settles in on the chemotherapy schedule that I can get my head back to normal.
has anyone else experienced anything similar? If so I’m sorry, but if you can I would like to hear about how you handled it.
thanks
blacktail
Cancer is a family disease.
I am happy that she is "doing good so far'. She is very fortunate to have
you and you to have her. You both are very strong, are strongest together.
Remember that.
For me, anything similar? Yes, more than I care to remember. Lots and
lots. And to be honest, in retrospect, I literally have no idea. Sure I showed
up. But was it really me? Was I really there? Was I present? Was I
mindful? No.
I do know this, with the person I was closest with, and it is something
I am not proud of and I hope you don't go down that rabbit hole, and
that is alcohol. That was how I handled it. Not drunk but enough of a
buzz to numb things down. So that is a sure fire way of how to not handle
it. If you are anything like me, you will regret not having those feelings
and memories as they were; good and bad, raw and unfiltered.
In other the cases, I just just showed up, just me, the best me I could be.
That is the hardest part. That is what I say to the guy at the gym each
morning . . . the hardest part of the day is getting out of bed.
Just show up, be present and open to all your feelings and thoughts,
good or bad. Do not judge them, accept them, do not fight them. This
is an experience that you can't think yourself out of. Follow your heart
one day at a time. Control what you can and let go of what you can't.
And take care of yourself. That is what your wonderful wife wants too.
If you are sick and not one hundred percent then this will hurt you
both. Be well and stay well both mentally and physically.
This is a new beginning for you both.
Be present, be strong, be caring, be loving, be consistent, be fun, be sad,
be angry, be patient, be compassionate, be hopeful, be realistic.
Just be there for her, just like you are. Just be there.
I wish you both a long and loving life together. You will get through this.
Know that, and feel that, and share that.