Severe OCD After Coming Off Years Of AAS Use And More

[Altair]

Did your doctors put you on any new medications following the liver issue? Some new medication you were not taking before could possibly have a mechanism of action that effects other systems you weren't aware of depending on the drug.

I wish that was the case, but no meds whatsoever. I’m only taking test cyp and adex from CVS.

 

[johnjuanb1]

How do you cope? Did you ever try meds?

I’ve replied on grey market drugs for years but stopped 6 weeks ago since I’m home on lockdown which was the perfect opportunity to withdraw and heal. I pretty much avoid people and spend my time alone when not working or lifting weights. It is what it is.

 

[KillerStack]

I feel meds are justified if your condition is incapacitating. Any sides may be a small price to pay if they help. People also have a somewhat irrational fear towards antidepressants and more specifically SSRIs, especially when these same people use all sorts of other mind altering substances. SSRIs seem to be associated with laziness, impotence, stupidity and femininity in some way. Some even think these drugs were made specifically to make people sheepish, a real conspiracy. Yes they may affect some in negative ways but they can also do the opposite, if you can't function normally and are suicidal due to OCD or whatever you are fucked anyway. I would try different medications, maybe the best ones aren't even SSRIs specifically, I don't know.

 

[jeroendebleser]

I feel meds are justified if your condition is incapacitating. Any sides may be a small price to pay if they help. People also have a somewhat irrational fear towards antidepressants and more specifically SSRIs, especially when these same people use all sorts of other mind altering substances. SSRIs seem to be associated with laziness, impotence, stupidity and femininity in some way. Some even think these drugs were made specifically to make people sheepish, a real conspiracy. Yes they may affect some in negative ways but they can also do the opposite, if you can't function normally and are suicidal due to OCD or whatever you are fucked anyway. I would try different medications, maybe the best ones aren't even SSRIs specifically, I don't know.

They are great meds for sure. Most of it's side effects are exaggerated. But the sexual side effects are inevitable and debilitating. Impotence is mostly not even one of them but anorgasmia is and that's a terrible thing to have to endure.

 

[bighank]

Iv had abd OCD for a while.meds never worked,or didnt work enough to deal with the sides.im 40,and been doing this for a while.2 things I learned
1.a thought is just a thought.it cant make you do something [,or be someone your not.i know it's scary bro,but relies this.you cant control the thoughts that pop in your head.the only thing you can control is how you react to them.if you dont react crazy then there is little to no anxiety. Get it?
2.you MUST try and avoid your rituals.try a little at a time.for example. If you wash your hands and count to 50,try washing your hands and only counting to 40,then30 then 20 then dont count at all
I know its tuff man,but dont give up,dont let OCD win.fuck ocd. You must be strong in your darkest times.this is the only thing that ever helped ! Good luck

 

[FrancisK]

This guy has never posted anything outside of his own threads....

 

[KillerStack]

They are great meds for sure. Most of it's side effects are exaggerated. But the sexual side effects are inevitable and debilitating. Impotence is mostly not even one of them but anorgasmia is and that's a terrible thing to have to endure.

Yes that is a side I have experienced with venlafaxine and it can be frustrating for sure. I can make it disappear immediately by skipping a dose or taking a lower dose that day. Some have reported longer lasting sexual sides after stopping though. Of course some use these drugs or similar due to prepmature ejaculation. There is even a duloxetine + viagra combo pill on the market. I think there is a patent for Tramadol for PE - this drug made orgasm nearly impossible for me

 

[pimpman]

also, what OCD symptoms are you having? Is it all "contamination" focused or other things too? I do the thing where I get the mail, close the mailbox door, and then feel compelled to open it again and check if I got it all. Its so bad that I can be half way back to my house and have to turn around and walk back to the box. I do the same with checking to see if my garage door went down! I'll drive to the end of the street and then turn around and drive back, making my whole family scream at me!

I'm the same way and with the front door of the house. I turn back around to check if I locked it. Even when I'm leaving and as I'm locking it I say to myself. Ok pay attention you locked the door.then I get in the car do a few things while it warms up then drive away.as I'm driving I say shit did I lock the door.and I remember saying to myself that I was locking it as I locked it so this wouldn't happen. But I still have to turn back around and stop and look from my car to see the bolt is locked

 

[pimpman]

Iv had abd OCD for a while.meds never worked,or didnt work enough to deal with the sides.im 40,and been doing this for a while.2 things I learned
1.a thought is just a thought.it cant make you do something [,or be someone your not.i know it's scary bro,but relies this.you cant control the thoughts that pop in your head.the only thing you can control is how you react to them.if you dont react crazy then there is little to no anxiety. Get it?
2.you MUST try and avoid your rituals.try a little at a time.for example. If you wash your hands and count to 50,try washing your hands and only counting to 40,then30 then 20 then dont count at all
I know its tuff man,but dont give up,dont let OCD win.fuck ocd. You must be strong in your darkest times.this is the only thing that ever helped ! Good luck

Your right.you cant stop thoughts from passing through your mind. The trick is to just let the thought go in and out. Not to entertain it. I'm working on that

 

[LK3]

Thank you, unfortunately medication might end up being my only option. Can you please expand on the non traditional methods?

thats the thing bud, due to the nature of your post and im not spoon feeding you anything.
i understand what you are saying as my options come down to drugs, drugs or more drugs. lol

expand on my non traditional methods? lol
im working on cpl books bro.
if you search my posts say more then 2-3 years back you can find a lot of useful info that might apply to you.

 

[Altair]

SSRIs seem to be associated with laziness, impotence, stupidity and femininity in some way. Some even think these drugs were made specifically to make people sheepish, a real conspiracy.

You described my fears with SSRIs better than anyone before, that’s exactly what makes me so hesitant to take them.

 

[Altair]

This guy has never posted anything outside of his own threads....

You are right, I should contribute more. I tried to stay away from steroid/bodybuilding forums due to my liver condition and past steroid use. Wasn’t easy walking away from that lifestyle when it’s all I knew.

 

[maldorf]

You are right, I should contribute more. I tried to stay away from steroid/bodybuilding forums due to my liver condition and past steroid use. Wasn’t easy walking away from that lifestyle when it’s all I knew.

You don't realize how hard it is to do until you have to do it. One day after my heart attack I flushed about $3k worth of crap down the toilet and said enough.

 

[Sparkss]

I'm the same way and with the front door of the house. I turn back around to check if I locked it. Even when I'm leaving and as I'm locking it I say to myself. Ok pay attention you locked the door.then I get in the car do a few things while it warms up then drive away.as I'm driving I say shit did I lock the door.and I remember saying to myself that I was locking it as I locked it so this wouldn't happen. But I still have to turn back around and stop and look from my car to see the bolt is locked

52 years old and have struggled with OCD since my early 40’s. I have always had obsessive tendencies, where I would replay past events over in my mind and obsess about how I could have done “this” or said “that” differently. Some from events years past. But in my 40s my daughter (then 5 years old) got real sick and was in the hospital with an impacted immune system. That triggered some major contamination OCD. Not just about the germs but also about all of the chemicals we were using to sterilize the house. It was a no-win scenario for me. I clean to combat the germs and the cleaning itself triggered more anxiety. And if I didn’t clean with those chemicals I felt like I was directly, physically, hurting my daughter every time I walked in the door (something no father, or parent, ever wants to feel). I ended up with a standing prescription for lorazepam. Since I got back into working out regularly, about 3 years ago, I have only needed the meds once every couple of months. Before it was almost daily upon rising plus an extra dose for the panic attacks that I would get sometimes.

 

[maldorf]

52 years old and have struggled with OCD since my early 40’s. I have always had obsessive tendencies, where I would replay past events over in my mind and obsess about how I could have done “this” or said “that” differently. Some from events years past. But in my 40s my daughter (then 5 years old) got real sick and was in the hospital with an impacted immune system. That triggered some major contamination OCD. Not just about the germs but also about all of the chemicals we were using to sterilize the house. It was a no-win scenario for me. I clean to combat the germs and the cleaning itself triggered more anxiety. And if I didn’t clean with those chemicals I felt like I was directly, physically, hurting my daughter every time I walked in the door (something no father, or parent, ever wants to feel). I ended up with a standing prescription for lorazepam. Since I got back into working out regularly, about 3 years ago, I have only needed the meds once every couple of months. Before it was almost daily upon rising plus an extra dose for the panic attacks that I would get sometimes.

What is it about working out that makes your OCD get better? Two of you now on this thread say that it helps a lot. Im curious if either of you have any kind of theory on how it works.

 

[Sparkss]

What is it about working out that makes your OCD get better? Two of you now on this thread say that it helps a lot. Im curious if either of you have any kind of theory on how it works.

I am not sure but it lowers my anxiety overall. Maybe I burn off enough energy that there is no excess to fuel my OCD behavior? I know that there have been studies linking exercise with lower anxiety levels, but I don’t have any sources off hand to quote. I was also recommended by my doctor and also physiatrist to exercise to lower anxiety naturally. For me anxiety is the fuel for my OCD.

 

[Rogue]

AAS use can have a direct influence on neurotransmitters, they even influence neurons in your brains at those dosages .
Accepting to continues at a lower dose is a process .Takes time Being on for 10 year will take a while to normalize, its like being fat all you life, sure you can lose the fat and get fit, but it will take time.
"Neuroplasticity" fortunately is The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life."
Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment.
But it takes time and commitment, the longer you have been on the longer it will take to adapt.
The first thing I would consider is not being too concerned with traditional TRT prescribed doses. Not now-you need to start with the minimum dose that makes you feel well... "alright" and design yourself a protocol that you can stick to tapering down you dosage to where you want to be.
This will creat the correct chemical environment for your body/brain to keep all its functions as you taper your dose. the presence of the brain chemicals are part of speeding your recovery.
SSRI's can be part of the healing process, they have a role in the MECHANICAL process as well. You may consider NSRI's or tri-cyclics or other better suited chemicals (potential for abuse) that will speed up you healing process.
It will take time, and efforts but just like you took your time building your body, take you time getting it to function again.
At no time should you despair.
Make your plan, and stick to it. Its like a contest prep backwards under harder circumstances. The more committed you are to put this behind you- the quicker the process. Flinch, and you will stumble.
STICK TO THE PLAN and at no time second guess yourself .This is uncharted territory but you know enough to pull yourself through.
Good luck to you this is a challenge but you can do it.

 

[KillerStack]

You described my fears with SSRIs better than anyone before, that’s exactly what makes me so hesitant to take them.

These drugs are thought to produce docile, harmless, unmotivated sheep. But if you think about it, they have also been linked to the opposite behaviors, like extreme aggression and disinhibition. Extreme aggression as in mass murder and disinhibition as in suicide. These behaviors are of course supremely negative but just to illustrate that they could push you in different directions, not just in the docile direction.

 

[pimpman]

What is it about working out that makes your OCD get better? Two of you now on this thread say that it helps a lot. Im curious if either of you have any kind of theory on how it works.

I'm not sure if the exercise itself is what help the body and brain.maybe there is a connection there.but what I have noticed about my anxiety is.that as long as I'm occupied doing something my mind doesn't think about anxiety. But if I'm just laying in bed doing nothing or even watching TV. My mind starts thinking something is off I don't feel normal oh man I think I'm getting anxiety and from there out I'm screwed. And it has to be something physical that I'm doing. Playing ps4 doesn't work.

On my OCD if I'm walking pass let's say a picture frame and is a bit off to the side. I have to put it straight. If I don't and sit down watch tv or do something else. I can't get it off my mind that its crooked and have to get up and go fix it.

My ocd has made me be super multi task too.

 

[pimpman]

AAS use can have a direct influence on neurotransmitters, they even influence neurons in your brains at those dosages .
Accepting to continues at a lower dose is a process .Takes time Being on for 10 year will take a while to normalize, its like being fat all you life, sure you can lose the fat and get fit, but it will take time.
"Neuroplasticity" fortunately is The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life."
Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment.
But it takes time and commitment, the longer you have been on the longer it will take to adapt.
The first thing I would consider is not being too concerned with traditional TRT prescribed doses. Not now-you need to start with the minimum dose that makes you feel well... "alright" and design yourself a protocol that you can stick to tapering down you dosage to where you want to be.
This will creat the correct chemical environment for your body/brain to keep all its functions as you taper your dose. the presence of the brain chemicals are part of speeding your recovery.
SSRI's can be part of the healing process, they have a role in the MECHANICAL process as well. You may consider NSRI's or tri-cyclics or other better suited chemicals (potential for abuse) that will speed up you healing process.
It will take time, and efforts but just like you took your time building your body, take you time getting it to function again.
At no time should you despair.
Make your plan, and stick to it. Its like a contest prep backwards under harder circumstances. The more committed you are to put this behind you- the quicker the process. Flinch, and you will stumble.
STICK TO THE PLAN and at no time second guess yourself .This is uncharted territory but you know enough to pull yourself through.
Good luck to you this is a challenge but you can do it.

Very well explained. Your correct