Skeletons in the closet?? What to do...

[JUICEDUP3]

ok so here is my saying...............


YOU CANT TRUST ANY BITCH, ITS THE ONE YOU CAN TRUST THE MOST!! end of story..

 

[OuchThatHurts]

For some guys, I would say a lot of guys, that will be really hard to deal with... AS you can see, he was crying ! This is not a good comparison but lets say you own a store, would you hire someone with a bad credit, bad background, who did some messed up shit in the past, or someone who has a good credit, better background etc ? now of course she is not a criminal but the things she has done, are not really accepted in a good culture, the fucked up part is that guys do these more often than women but somehow that is somewhat more acceptable than women doing them

Very true that she might be possibly changing but HIS brother is not the type of guy who is gonna ne okay with that... He will most likely going to have trust issues from now on

Sometimes honesty is not GOOD guys !!

I'm younger than a lot of you but look, lets say you have fucked prostitutes, had orgies in Vegas and a few fucked up shit in the past... If you truly love a girl and want to keep her with no drama, YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL HER all that unnecessary bullshit, that is not being honest, that is being dumb as fuck... What you can do is to forget the past and proof yourself that you have truly changed ! So treat her well, show her that you love her, don't cheat on her, and be honest with her from the time you started the relationship with her !

Simply, where there is an issue of trust it is hard to overcome for most people. He has reason to doubt her and unless he can forget the past and move forward it will forever be a constant reminder--and he will likely look for confirming instances of any odd behavior on her part.

"Coming clean" is a weird phenomena. I think in many cases it just clears the person's conscience while hurting someone else. Honesty is not always a good thing. Instead, IMO, she should have completely stopped what she was doing, got rid of the friend, and spent that time making your brother feel like a special man that he is. Instead, she is banging a married man and lying. Read it for what it is. Words are shallow; actions show true intent.

We all have skeletons in our closet; sometimes they need to remain there and move forward using them as an example of what we shouldn't do with someone we truly love.

SB

I think there is some amount of wisdom here, honestly.

The main fact is this. They are far too close to a joining date for all this to be happening and this wedding(s) whatever need to be put off for a year or so before even considering spending the rest of your life with a person you may or may not even trust!

 

[raw33man]

why not just avoid all that bullshit debauchery in the first place so you don't have to pretend like someone you're not when you meet someone you want to marry?


inb4

"but it's fuuuuun"
"we all have a past"
"we all make mistakes"

and all other horseshit responses.. if you're a man, act like one

Pretend to be someone who you are not ??? She is not anymore, that was her past... people change. Their past wont

And are you gonna tell all your friends and family that you are a steroids abuser ? To alot of people you are a drug junkie, why dont you man up and tell your employee that, they hired you for what you are so man up

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Pretend to be someone who you are not ??? She is not anymore, that was her past... people change. Their past wont

And are you gonna tell all your friends and family that you are a steroids abuser ? To alot of people you are a drug junkie, why dont you man up and tell your employee that, they hired you for what you are so man up

As I'm listening to someone that lost everything because of Hurricane Katrina, the first thing I think of to say to them is, "Why did you foolishly live there in the first place? Man up!"

 

[little slice]

Pretend to be someone who you are not ??? She is not anymore, that was her past... people change. Their past wont

And are you gonna tell all your friends and family that you are a steroids abuser ? To alot of people you are a drug junkie, why dont you man up and tell your employee that, they hired you for what you are so man up

are you seriously likening using performance enhancing substances to sleeping with a married person (and lying about it)/a load of random strangers?

is that really your best argument?

well, in that case.. would you be fine with your sister (assuming you have one) marrying Jeffrey Dahmer if he changed his ways?


the point is, the past follows you, it shapes who you are...who you are is a result of your past...

 

[little slice]

As I'm listening to someone that lost everything because of Hurricane Katrina, the first thing I think of to say to them is, "Why did you foolishly live there in the first place? Man up!"

well, to be fair... living in an area that is both very vulnerable to hurricanes and below sea level isn't really....

what's the word im looking for...?


..prudent

 

[OuchThatHurts]

well, to be fair... living in an area that is both very vulnerable to hurricanes and below sea level isn't really....

what's the word im looking for...?


..prudent

Hurricanes and sea rises are not nearly as treacherous as relationships yet we keep wandering into and out of those too... my point was that it's an easy thing to say in hindsight.

 

[chgolatin2]

well there ya go..that explains everything

Whats that suppose to mean???

 

[little slice]

Whats that suppose to mean???

in my experience, girls who come from religious families are the most troubled

 

[OuchThatHurts]

in my experience, girls who come from religious families are the most troubled

People that come from troubled families are often troubled - religious or not.

Dude, maybe sit the next few plays out. You have a worldview that simply isn't very well matured or based in any factual or statistical evidence.

 

[sammy555]

why not just avoid all that bullshit debauchery in the first place so you don't have to pretend like someone you're not when you meet someone you want to marry?


inb4

"but it's fuuuuun"
"we all have a past"
"we all make mistakes"

and all other horseshit responses.. if you're a man, act like one

Fuck that you only live once. Why not get that stuff out of your system while your young and care free and they're are no consequences. As you get older just draw a line under it get serious with a woman of your choice have kids, whatever but stay faithful. Or if the married with kids thing ain't for you just say Fuck it, carry on as you are iff that's what you enjoy. Just don't try to mix the 2. If im single ill do what I want when I want, if I'm in a relationship ill be faithful. As it goes being single suites me better. As for the ops brother im of the opinion the past is the past. If she hasn't been unfaithful to him then no issues in my eyes. UK happily not disclose parts of my part to women as I don't belive what I got up to when I was single is of any concern of there's

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[little slice]

Fuck that you only live once. Why not get that stuff out of your system while your young and care free and they're are no consequences. As you get older just draw a line under it get serious with a woman of your choice have kids, whatever but stay faithful. Or if the married with kids thing ain't for you just say Fuck it, carry on as you are iff that's what you enjoy. Just don't try to mix the 2. If im single ill do what I want when I want, if I'm in a relationship ill be faithful. As it goes being single suites me better. As for the ops brother im of the opinion the past is the past. If she hasn't been unfaithful to him then no issues in my eyes. UK happily not disclose parts of my part to women as I don't belive what I got up to when I was single is of any concern of there's

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if this thread serves as an indication for anything... the whole idea of "yolo" does in fact, have consequences.

 

[sammy555]

if this thread serves as an indication for anything... the whole idea of "yolo" does in fact, have consequences.

What is yolo? I'm sometimes a bit behind on these Internet abbreviations haha. Being too honest about your past can have consequences, they we have learnt on this thread. I think if you worry too much about consequence you'll reach the point where your on your deathbed and realise that you never really lived
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[OuchThatHurts]

What is yolo? I'm sometimes a bit behind on these Internet abbreviations haha. Being too honest about your past can have consequences, they we have learnt on this thread. I think if you worry too much about consequence you'll reach the point where your on your deathbed and realise that you never really lived
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Means "You Only Live Once" (YOLO)... but lemme tell ya. I know a lot of people that will tell you that a miserable life seems quite long and many even happy elderly people I know are quite happy to grow old and are quite content with the life they've lived and are ready to move on to whatever is next.

If this thread is an indication of anything, it's indicative of emotional immaturity. When you're headed towards 50, you begin to realize that you're entire life, wiser men were watching you talk, thinking, "What a dumbshit!"

I'm not calling anyone a dumbshit but used it more for effect.

The kid ain't ready to marry that girl and that bird ain't ready to get hitched. It's a heartache just waiting to happen. Could be hers, could be his, but it will be one, that I assure you.

 

[Bionic]

Means "You Only Live Once" (YOLO)... but lemme tell ya. I know a lot of people that will tell you that a miserable life seems quite long and many even happy elderly people I know are quite happy to grow old and are quite content with the life they've lived and are ready to move on to whatever is next.

I just lost my beloved grandmother about 2 months ago. In fact, today would've been her 101st b'day. She was decently mobile, lived alone and did most everything for herself. Well, a disease she had (A-Fib) finally caught up to her and she was hospitalized. She was everyone's favorite on the floor but another lady came in that was in the same situation but was 106. When she heard that the other lady was that old, she said, "That sounds like torture. I had a wonderful life but I'm ready to go!" Kinda hard to argue with.

 

[chgolatin2]

in my experience, girls who come from religious families are the most troubled

LMAO! I remember a high school, which was an all girl high school and those chicks were the worst whores around, lol.. So yeah I can relate

 

[chgolatin2]

Means "You Only Live Once" (YOLO)... but lemme tell ya. I know a lot of people that will tell you that a miserable life seems quite long and many even happy elderly people I know are quite happy to grow old and are quite content with the life they've lived and are ready to move on to whatever is next.



If this thread is an indication of anything, it's indicative of emotional immaturity. When you're headed towards 50, you begin to realize that you're entire life, wiser men were watching you talk, thinking, "What a dumbshit!"



I'm not calling anyone a dumbshit but used it more for effect.



The kid ain't ready to marry that girl and that bird ain't ready to get hitched. It's a heartache just waiting to happen. Could be hers, could be his, but it will be one, that I assure you.

Funny thing, my brother is older than me, actually 49...

 

[little slice]

What is yolo? I'm sometimes a bit behind on these Internet abbreviations haha. Being too honest about your past can have consequences, they we have learnt on this thread. I think if you worry too much about consequence you'll reach the point where your on your deathbed and realise that you never really lived
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well.. if you want to lie (by omission) to the woman you intend to spend the rest of your life with...then by all means..


your life, not mine

 

[pesty4077]

is that really your best argument?

Pessimist.


the point is, the past follows you, it shapes who you are...who you are is a result of your past...

Total Bullshit, I know 2 brothers who had identical pasts. One went on to being poor, miserable, did drugs and alcohol and now is dead. The other went on to be successful and live a very happy and clean life.

I would never dwell in the pass, I rather focus on the future and what is before me and how I can make things better.

I highlighted in red the difference of approaches.

Optimist

 

[sammy555]

well.. if you want to lie (by omission) to the woman you intend to spend the rest of your life with...then by all means..


your life, not mine

I don't plan on settling down anytime soon anyway,and even if I do I still see my past as irrelevant. Its not really lying to not bring something up and some things just better left alone. I wouldn't really want to know about a woman's past as it's nothing to do with me what she did when we weren't together. And since we can't change the past any regrets are pointless.

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