Something about pheromones eludes me

whattoex · Oct 27, 2022

Yes, I know what they are and how they work, but it's the most likely explanation. A friend of mine told me that he thinks my pheromones may be out of whack since I only attract the kind of guys I'd never date and never ever the ones that I would.

I don't think it's how I look because at least I don't find myself overly atrocious and they don't seem to respond negatively to me at all...until I show some interest in them, then it's like they become appalled by me or something. Suddenly, things get VERY awkward and they stop responding. If this was a one or two-time thing, I'd dismiss it, but it happens pretty much every single time. I'm not single by choice. And with girls, the longer we stay single, the longer we will stay single. A lot of guys don't even seem to think of me as a viable female of the same species. It's like I might as well have been a sponge with a brain and mouth.
https://truepheromones.com
I want some advice from anyone that has been in a committed relationship or married for a long time. I don't care if your advice comes from experience or if it's silly. I'm an eccentric gal anyway. It just sucks to feel like no matter what I think and how I feel, it's completely worthless and pointless anyways. I've gotten to the point that I've grown cynical and approached people with more trepidation. If someone doesn't respond to me, I just start forcing myself to give up. I don't want to seem like a girl that can't take a hint.

headtrainer · Oct 27, 2022

whattoex said:
Yes, I know what they are and how they work, but it's the most likely explanation. A friend of mine told me that he thinks my pheromones may be out of whack since I only attract the kind of guys I'd never date and never ever the ones that I would.

I don't think it's how I look because at least I don't find myself overly atrocious and they don't seem to respond negatively to me at all...until I show some interest in them, then it's like they become appalled by me or something. Suddenly, things get VERY awkward and they stop responding. If this was a one or two-time thing, I'd dismiss it, but it happens pretty much every single time. I'm not single by choice. And with girls, the longer we stay single, the longer we will stay single. A lot of guys don't even seem to think of me as a viable female of the same species. It's like I might as well have been a sponge with a brain and mouth.
https://truepheromones.com
I want some advice from anyone that has been in a committed relationship or married for a long time. I don't care if your advice comes from experience or if it's silly. I'm an eccentric gal anyway. It just sucks to feel like no matter what I think and how I feel, it's completely worthless and pointless anyways. I've gotten to the point that I've grown cynical and approached people with more trepidation. If someone doesn't respond to me, I just start forcing myself to give up. I don't want to seem like a girl that can't take a hint.

I’ve been happily married for a long time. My wife used to be a competitive bodybuilder. Now she just stays lean and muscular. Are you a bodybuilder?

pickapeck · Oct 27, 2022

Where do you typically meet these men?

mexbeast · Oct 27, 2022

Just curious about your higeen (cleanliness) ? Do you see your dentist regularly? Are you on any hormones? I was friends with a girl who used to smell like a man, that was a turn off for me, but not repulsive, can you post a pic?

SL1CED · Oct 28, 2022

I hear girls say this all the time.

The truth is you wouldn't date probably 90-95% of guys available. Take it like this, if you were at a bar or a venue or anywhere really, and 100 guys approached you---how many realistically do you think could get a date with you? 5-10?

Now apply that logic to another 99 girls that you find in your range of attractiveness, age(yes just those two, it's shallow but we are guys). How many guys would those 99 girls accept each---probably same 5-10 guys you would. How many of those guys overlap? Probably 50-75% of them. So 100% of girls are fighting for the same 5-10 dudes. Good luck, you're not going to attract the one's "you" like. Because the competition for the very best men is extremely hard. There's probably 20-30 other suitable, good guys, but you wouldn't give them a chance.

The guys you are getting in contact with, approach, and leave you cold. Are they the type 99% of girls would find attractive? Are they young, middle age, old? Are they successful or what are their careers? Cause it's very likely they have a committed jobs or businesses, and you're just another girl. Look at the example above, if those 5-10 guys you are going for they got 99 others that they can deal with. So either do something for them, or they are going to be with another girl real quick. If they're on the outside looking in on that group, say in the 11-20 range they got pretty solid options too. Probably up to the top 25, but you wouldn't look that hard past top 10 unless you're getting up in age, desperate to get a kid and a family, or a combination of the two(usually the case with women in their early 30s). Past 25, these guys are likely to be avoided--and most rightfully so.

It's a really harsh reality for girls, but it's the truth. As for guys, it's even harder for some but if you're in the top 25% you'll be okay. If you're in the top 5% of them, you don't have to do anything they're coming for you.

Baphomet36 · Oct 28, 2022

Well it’s not pheromones. There’s no direct evidence of it in humans

WeakFNG · Oct 28, 2022

As @SL1CED said, its a jungle out there. Hear me out because I might come off as an a-hole here.

What is your age? What is the age of the men you put yourself out there to? Depending on your age, too some men a woman loses "value" with age (sorry, thats a very objectifying word, but I cant think of a better one right now). A man may see a woman in her late 20's or early 30's as single and may raise questions as to why? And if there looking for a serious relationship they dont want to waste time finding out.

What is your approach like when you communicate with men? I get the feeling from your post, confidence in general is an issue which I understand. Were all insecure about something. But as you stated, being cynical is something a man looking for a partner will see from a mile away and its not an attractive quality.

Now, your thoughts and feelings are absolutely not worthless as you stated. I am sure you have several positive things to offer in a relationship regardless of what you said or my generalizations above. But having those feelings and letting them go unchecked can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Look at your approach to people in general. Is are there any patterns you notice or things that could come of as red flags? If possible, I would encourage you to seek help from a licensed therapist. You may be stuck in some thought patterns or subconsciously self sabotaging yourself and not even realize it.

You control how you go about this. Best of luck to you.

SL1CED · Oct 28, 2022

WeakFNG said:
As @SL1CED said, its a jungle out there. Hear me out because I might come off as an a-hole here.

What is your age? What is the age of the men you put yourself out there to? Depending on your age, too some men a woman loses "value" with age (sorry, thats a very objectifying word, but I cant think of a better one right now). A man may see a woman in her late 20's or early 30's as single and may raise questions as to why? And if there looking for a serious relationship they dont want to waste time finding out.

What is your approach like when you communicate with men? I get the feeling from your post, confidence in general is an issue which I understand. Were all insecure about something. But as you stated, being cynical is something a man looking for a partner will see from a mile away and its not an attractive quality.

Now, your thoughts and feelings are absolutely not worthless as you stated. I am sure you have several positive things to offer in a relationship regardless of what you said or my generalizations above. But having those feelings and letting them go unchecked can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Look at your approach to people in general. Is are there any patterns you notice or things that could come of as red flags? If possible, I would encourage you to seek help from a licensed therapist. You may be stuck in some thought patterns or subconsciously self sabotaging yourself and not even realize it.

You control how you go about this. Best of luck to you.

Agreed, and I'm not trying to be rude as I say this either. It's just facts.

To the bolded part-- a lot of girls do, but girls need to realize just like they do a pre-requisite first(height, looks, appearance of money) for guys before if they know the guy is really conversational, funny, witty, smart, etc. Guys do the same. You may the smartest of the bunch, etc., but they're going to judge attractiveness and age first and second usually. And yes, as you get older if you keep having the same standards you're going to notice it get thinner and thinner out there for you.