Staying sober during a separation

[juggy38]

I’m off the wagon. I don’t have a drug of choice, but in the evenings I’ve been drinking 4-5 beers a night, the next night eating a gummy, the next night maybe 1mg Xanax. I don’t want to go home because she is there. Work is crazy, home is crazy, I just want to go to Montana and hide in a cabin.

I’m not getting trashed, but
I can’t find the strength to just cope in the evenings and live right. Just really fucking sad and anxiety through the roof 24/7

Just kinda venting.

 

[Deleted member 121863]

Then take a trip and visit me I think most of us have been there at some point in time, using a substance as our go to life coping tool. You are not alone in that respect. What other tools you got? Without knowing the whole situation (feel free to email me), the most powerful, disarming tool is really simple.... "I`m sorry". You are getting separated, both said or done some nasty shit, own your share, give her a chance to do the same (without judgement or interrupting) and let the hate dissipate. All that stress and anxiety permeates the air like a bad fart and everyone around you can feel it. You gotta address the situation.

 

[juggy38]

That makes sense. Yea, I just wish we could be civil at home, just a lot of damage this last year.

I guess the biggest mindfuck is whether to try and work through it or hang it up

 

[premiumblend]

I’m not going to pretend to know your story because everybody’s is different. I do know and have experience with addiction. I also know you have the ability to get back on the wagon, but before you can do that you have to go through more pain.

I agree with hogan86 you have to address the issue and that is why you have to go through more pain. You have to sift through all the hurt and bs to find the root cause but when you do you can treat the cause and not just the symptoms.

You don’t know me from the milkman but you can pm or email me anytime to just talk. What you’re going through isn’t easy so it’s nice to have someone there to talk to.

 

[Gators]

I went thru a divorce of a 19 yr marriage, with 3 kids, losing everything financially (2009 crash), and getting sober, all at once. I was in such a deep pit of despair, i thought there was NO way out, except taking my life. I was wrong. Now, going on 11 yrs sober, been with an amazing woman for 4 years, relationship with my 3 daughters is unbelievably good, and rebuilding financially. How did i do it? I quit isolating, got involved in recovery (aa), and put in the work. If i can do it, anyone can, i was a weak, beaten down man, but i found out, thru recovery, that’s not who i really was.

Reach out to others, myself included, get to a meeting (what worked for me, though i was a HUGE AA skeptic), and breathe, it takes work, but there’s a much better life on the otherside of this!

 

[juggy38]

I’ve thought of going to AA, I think that’s a good idea. I just feel lonely, and weak.

Like I know millions of others have lost so much more and had battles far beyond what I’m dealing with, and I’m just getting my ass kicked. Makes me think less of my fortitude. Like quit being a bitch, you habe a good job and if you quit now you’ll be healthy

 

[Gators]

The camaraderie of AA is quite amazing, that i did not expect, as i felt all alone in a room full of people i knew. Isolation is something thats real easy for me to do, but its very unhealthy, very. Your path / story / struggles are no more or less than others, its just yours. Don’t beat yourself up, no good outcome from that, instead get to work recovering. Kinda like bodybuilding, put in the work, you see results. sit on your butt, nothing but cloudy skies and big belly.

 

[Uglyrichie]

Sorry new here, have you guys thought about counseling I know it sounds tacky but it will let you know if there is some hope. At least a place where you can air your greivances with a moderator. Or go yourself dude it's always nice to let yourself go and have someone truly impartial there listen and give suggestions on how to change small things. Dude drinking is no way to cope just going to make things worse Wish I could help you out there. find a good support group of family and friends. It sucks dude been in this kind of situation. It's hard to not just get sucked down into the negative emotions and it's harder trying to claw out of the pit they cause. You half to remember this is your life too and how do you want to live it.

 

[Trenson]

What helped me break my addiction is replacing that addiction with a "healthier" addiction. Ping pong first, then laterAAS. I'm unsure if this tactic is all that great but it beats spending $ and fucking up my body.

 

[mpjuice]

I’m off the wagon. I don’t have a drug of choice, but in the evenings I’ve been drinking 4-5 beers a night, the next night eating a gummy, the next night maybe 1mg Xanax. I don’t want to go home because she is there. Work is crazy, home is crazy, I just want to go to Montana and hide in a cabin.

I’m not getting trashed, but
I can’t find the strength to just cope in the evenings and live right. Just really fucking sad and anxiety through the roof 24/7

Just kinda venting.

I'm a happy guy in a happy relationship and I want to move out to a cabin in Montana. I love the outdoors.

 

[mpjuice]

I’m off the wagon. I don’t have a drug of choice, but in the evenings I’ve been drinking 4-5 beers a night, the next night eating a gummy, the next night maybe 1mg Xanax. I don’t want to go home because she is there. Work is crazy, home is crazy, I just want to go to Montana and hide in a cabin.

I’m not getting trashed, but
I can’t find the strength to just cope in the evenings and live right. Just really fucking sad and anxiety through the roof 24/7

Just kinda venting.

Do you have a history with harder stuff?