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Talk about the most embarrassing things you have done or encountered

I've got a ton of stories. I was in a hotel one night ghb one night and got up to use bathroom and walked out into hallway instead completely naked. I waa hiding in stairwells and finally found a maids closet thing and got a towel and walked down to lobby. The night manager caught me trying to crawl over counter, in my head I was going to program my own hotel key card before anyone caught me.
 
Never ask a woman when the baby is due, never! Along with stories of vaseline

I was chaperoning a grade school trip with some other parents. One lady I knew because she was the mother of my daughter's friend. Her belly was sticking way out and the rest of her looked normal, not fat at all. I assumed she was pregnant and asked her when the baby was due. She told me that she wasn't pregnant! Then she said she was having some health problems. Boy did I feel like an ass. I had told myself I would never ask a woman that question but I was so sure of myself that she was pregnant that I broke my own rule. Don't do it!

Another embarrassing time happened a long time ago when I was visiting my best friend at his college one weekend. Earlier that day I had been at a local amusement park all day long and had developed a terrible case of chap ass. After driving for several hours to get to the college it got even worse it seemed. My friend and I also went out that night and went to the gun range/drinking/and then the titty bar. We got back to the dorm and I asked my friend if he had any Vaseline for my chapped asshole. He said no and then proceeded to go up and down the damn hallway knocking on people's door asking for "Vaseline for my friend's asshole"! It was like 3:30 am.
 
Back when i used to party a lot, i was with my buddy John, we meet up with his ex girlfriend, her brother, and the roomate. We end up back at their place, at some point i pass out on their couch. The next morning i wake up completely startled cause i don't know where i am. I see John on the chair, and i'm like psssst, psssst, John where are we? About this time the brother wakes up, and starts calling me a fucking asshole. I'm confused cause i don't recall doing anything. John is like, "you don't know what you did?" Apparently i got up in the middle of the night, walked around the coffee table, took out my dick and was pissing over top of the brother, all over the entertainment center as well as the dogs toys! I was like , "no way". I go feel the carpet, and it's soaked. The ex girlfriend of Johns was so pissed at me, that i wasn't even allowed to return with the carpet cleaner to clean up my mess. John got stuck having to do it.
 
In high school I was the badass, MVP football player, baseball too, boxed, always in the gym, etc. etc. Had that stellar badass reputation we all wanted at that age.

I had never wrestled though. Hated it, thought it was gay, I was a "fighter" ...along comes new school wrestling coach and he's eyeing me and trying to recruit me to wrestle. I resisted and one night he shows up my house. Talks to my dad, convinces him I'd make a star wrestler, after all, I'm like top school athlete. Finally I succumb to the pressure and find myself training to wrestle. A sport I know nothing about, heart wasn't really into it. Two weeks later it's our first meet. The whole freaking school is there. I'm put up against a guy my size who has been wrestling since kindergarten or some shit. I know nothing. Keep in mind my stellar reputation in school... The dude nobody messed with and I was good at fighting. So here I am and thirty seconds later this guy pins my ass. Just like that. I'm pissed as I know I can whip this guys ass in a street fight. I was trying to "remember the moves" I had just learned over the past few weeks....during this short match. Fuck that, I just know how to fight. So standing their humiliated and full of teenage rage, in front of the whole school, I rip off my head gear and go at this guy and challenge him to a "real" fight. LOL. The coach and ref had to tackle me. Needless to say, my wresting days were over as fast as they began.

Thank you for sharing such a sincere story to everyone. I think that only when people like a sport can they really put themselves into the study of the sport and learn it well. No one can force me to do something I don't want to do.
:D:DI think you are cool. In your student days, there should be many girls who love you. LOL
 
I think was 12 or 13 years old at the time. Thought I was home alone, so I did what any little horny normal bastad would do. Well it wasnt long before my mother barged into my room to catch me with my shorts half way down, stiff as a board, with a cum stained women underwear Sears catalog in my hands. She didnt say a word, just looked at me and did a 180 and left the room. Never brought the subject up ever again. Thank god bc this could of been a Christmas or Thanksgiving favorite story for everyone year after year. Lesson learned do you business behind closed locked doors.
 
I think was 12 or 13 years old at the time. Thought I was home alone, so I did what any little horny normal bastad would do. Well it wasnt long before my mother barged into my room to catch me with my shorts half way down, stiff as a board, with a cum stained women underwear Sears catalog in my hands. She didnt say a word, just looked at me and did a 180 and left the room. Never brought the subject up ever again. Thank god bc this could of been a Christmas or Thanksgiving favorite story for everyone year after year. Lesson learned do you business behind closed locked doors.

Too embarrassing!:eek::eek::eek:lol, thank you for you sharing,bro
 
I once shat myself in the gym. Thank God the shit only started to drop out of my pants on the way home :eek:
 
I once shat myself in the gym. Thank God the shit only started to drop out of my pants on the way home :eek:

Doing squats? I know of a female bodybuilder that was squatting really hard and ended up peeing her pants. Seems like women can have that happen from just laughing too hard. After having children it is even more common. Glad I don't have to worry about that! With me it is more of a problem being able to go!
 
Well, you asked for it. I was with two other guys out for a night in center city Philadelphia. Were standing in this high end after hours club knocking beers and shots down having a great time and looking to get laid. Across the bar is this Italian looking woman about 5' 9" and thin with long dark hair. She really looked pretty. She's staring me down and I figured I'm in like flint. I walk around and start with the small talk. She's responding and touching me on my arms off and on through out the conversation. My buddies are smiling thinking I'm hooking up. I went to the bar to get us more drinks and the bar tender took my order and then returned with a couple shots. I tipped the guy$5 and as he was picking it up off the counter he said, "hey bud, your talking to a man" and winked with a smile. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I drank both shots before leaving the bar. I went back to this dude and said, "What kind of game is this?". He responded, " I can tell you like me does it really make a difference". When I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes I no longer wanted to kick his ass. I realized he's drinking his own CoolAid and I needed to just get away immediately.
I went back to my friends and they wanted to know what went wrong because they could see on my face I wasn't right. I told them and they were in shock. This dude would have fooled almost anyone sober, much less shit faced. Thank God the bar tender told me WTF was going on. I would have ended up going to jail that night.

LOL, every time I tell this story I clen's my soul a little more.
 
Well, you asked for it. I was with two other guys out for a night in center city Philadelphia. Were standing in this high end after hours club knocking beers and shots down having a great time and looking to get laid. Across the bar is this Italian looking woman about 5' 9" and thin with long dark hair. She really looked pretty. She's staring me down and I figured I'm in like flint. I walk around and start with the small talk. She's responding and touching me on my arms off and on through out the conversation. My buddies are smiling thinking I'm hooking up. I went to the bar to get us more drinks and the bar tender took my order and then returned with a couple shots. I tipped the guy$5 and as he was picking it up off the counter he said, "hey bud, your talking to a man" and winked with a smile. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I drank both shots before leaving the bar. I went back to this dude and said, "What kind of game is this?". He responded, " I can tell you like me does it really make a difference". When I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes I no longer wanted to kick his ass. I realized he's drinking his own CoolAid and I needed to just get away immediately.
I went back to my friends and they wanted to know what went wrong because they could see on my face I wasn't right. I told them and they were in shock. This dude would have fooled almost anyone sober, much less shit faced. Thank God the bar tender told me WTF was going on. I would have ended up going to jail that night.

LOL, every time I tell this story I clen's my soul a little more.
LMAO!

Reminds of Valentino talking about Victor Martinez being the tranny detector at the old Sound Factory. He'd know from far away, and warn people...

"BRO! That's a dudeee!"



Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
 
Well, you asked for it. I was with two other guys out for a night in center city Philadelphia. Were standing in this high end after hours club knocking beers and shots down having a great time and looking to get laid. Across the bar is this Italian looking woman about 5' 9" and thin with long dark hair. She really looked pretty. She's staring me down and I figured I'm in like flint. I walk around and start with the small talk. She's responding and touching me on my arms off and on through out the conversation. My buddies are smiling thinking I'm hooking up. I went to the bar to get us more drinks and the bar tender took my order and then returned with a couple shots. I tipped the guy$5 and as he was picking it up off the counter he said, "hey bud, your talking to a man" and winked with a smile. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I drank both shots before leaving the bar. I went back to this dude and said, "What kind of game is this?". He responded, " I can tell you like me does it really make a difference". When I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes I no longer wanted to kick his ass. I realized he's drinking his own CoolAid and I needed to just get away immediately.
I went back to my friends and they wanted to know what went wrong because they could see on my face I wasn't right. I told them and they were in shock. This dude would have fooled almost anyone sober, much less shit faced. Thank God the bar tender told me WTF was going on. I would have ended up going to jail that night.

LOL, every time I tell this story I clen's my soul a little more.




sooo….did u fuck?
 
No, he will always be "the one that got away"...…………..
 
Wrote a long poetic love letter and sent to to a very gorgeous senior girl on Facebook whom I've never previously talked to when I was a freshman in high-school. Of course everyone in the school read it by the next school day, which made me proud since I though everyone though I was a ladies man the next day.

The girl I wrote it to pretended to be my girlfriend for a week, everybody knew but me. Lmao, damn you Aspergers! Funny thing is, is I never gave a damn or felt embarrassed but my friends are always shocked and embarrassed by the story so I'd though I'd share it . At the time it happened fact that she was only pretending to be my girlfriend made little difference to me, I was a chubby suit and tye wearing fourteen year old who was considered tragically awkward by most in my own grade (In Retrospect). So I was just thrilled to be eating lunch with a dime-piece senior for a week! At the time I had no concept of what a social hierarchy was nor did I have the instincts most have naturally to sense my own place in it. So my peers must of got to a real kick out of how normal I thought a boy like me dating a girl like her was so they played a long for awhile for their own amusement. To be fair to my "girlfriend", she wouldn't let people pick on me, and when it was over she would guard me like a hawk from people all the way until she graduated.

I think she got swept up into it by her friends more than anything because she used to tell my how bad she felt and stuff like that. Well it was happening people would tell me it was fake, and I would bring them to her and she would hug me and call me cute names to "prove them wrong". Lmao, my little egotistic ass though I was the hottest shit in my grade. So I'd make fun of the real "cool kids" for dating girls in our own grade and brag and gloat about how I was dating a hot senior and they were just dating "annoying little girls with flat tits". So they'd always try to call me out and tell me it was fake, and I'd just call them jealous haters and tell them they were just hating on me for dating hotter chicks than them. Yeah, set me self up for that one. I have a lot of stories like this, being a little sperg child with a lot of energy and little sense of fear made my school years one hell of an adventure, lol.
 
I was chaperoning a grade school trip with some other parents. One lady I knew because she was the mother of my daughter's friend. Her belly was sticking way out and the rest of her looked normal, not fat at all. I assumed she was pregnant and asked her when the baby was due. She told me that she wasn't pregnant! Then she said she was having some health problems. Boy did I feel like an ass. I had told myself I would never ask a woman that question but I was so sure of myself that she was pregnant that I broke my own rule. Don't do it!

Another embarrassing time happened a long time ago when I was visiting my best friend at his college one weekend. Earlier that day I had been at a local amusement park all day long and had developed a terrible case of chap ass. After driving for several hours to get to the college it got even worse it seemed. My friend and I also went out that night and went to the gun range/drinking/and then the titty bar. We got back to the dorm and I asked my friend if he had any Vaseline for my chapped asshole. He said no and then proceeded to go up and down the damn hallway knocking on people's door asking for "Vaseline for my friend's asshole"! It was like 3:30 am.

Never ask a woman when the baby is due, never ask her age, and never ask her if she has makeup.:cool:
 
Doing squats? I know of a female bodybuilder that was squatting really hard and ended up peeing her pants. Seems like women can have that happen from just laughing too hard. After having children it is even more common. Glad I don't have to worry about that! With me it is more of a problem being able to go!

Lol no, doing cardio haha. I had to go for a while already but thought I could manage keeping it in. Unfortunately, I failed.
 
Well, you asked for it. I was with two other guys out for a night in center city Philadelphia. Were standing in this high end after hours club knocking beers and shots down having a great time and looking to get laid. Across the bar is this Italian looking woman about 5' 9" and thin with long dark hair. She really looked pretty. She's staring me down and I figured I'm in like flint. I walk around and start with the small talk. She's responding and touching me on my arms off and on through out the conversation. My buddies are smiling thinking I'm hooking up. I went to the bar to get us more drinks and the bar tender took my order and then returned with a couple shots. I tipped the guy$5 and as he was picking it up off the counter he said, "hey bud, your talking to a man" and winked with a smile. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I drank both shots before leaving the bar. I went back to this dude and said, "What kind of game is this?". He responded, " I can tell you like me does it really make a difference". When I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes I no longer wanted to kick his ass. I realized he's drinking his own CoolAid and I needed to just get away immediately.
I went back to my friends and they wanted to know what went wrong because they could see on my face I wasn't right. I told them and they were in shock. This dude would have fooled almost anyone sober, much less shit faced. Thank God the bar tender told me WTF was going on. I would have ended up going to jail that night.

LOL, every time I tell this story I clen's my soul a little more.

Like your friends, I am shocked.:eek:
 
There are many embarrassing moment in my life but I tried so hard to recall only to find I can't remember any of it. I think I may got amnesia in some way.
 
There are many embarrassing moment in my life but I tried so hard to recall only to find I can't remember any of it. I think I may got amnesia in some way.

I have also felt this way. When you recall it, you can share it with everyone.
 
I was typing my college term paper at my girlfriend’s place using her computer while fully nude. I kept farting💨 while working on my paper. When I finished my paper I left the room for a minute. She came and got me and said to follow her. She pointed at her computer chair and said go look at it. I shit all over it without knowing. Hahaha 💩 honestly that wasn’t embarrassing but pretty damn funny. I had much more embarrassing things happen with her but that would be too much information. 😁
 
I was typing my college term paper at my girlfriend’s place using her computer while fully nude. I kept farting💨 while working on my paper. When I finished my paper I left the room for a minute. She came and got me and said to follow her. She pointed at her computer chair and said go look at it. I shit all over it without knowing. Hahaha 💩 honestly that wasn’t embarrassing but pretty damn funny. I had much more embarrassing things happen with her but that would be too much information. 😁

LOL. You really are full of gas much of the time! So many fart stories. You remind me of my father in that way, he is a master of farts. He can fart on command!
 

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