Talk about the most embarrassing things you have done or encountered

[johnjuanb1]

LOL. You really are full of gas much of the time! So many fart stories. You remind me of my father in that way, he is a master of farts. He can fart on command!

I’m generically blessed enough to have both a Mom and Dad that fart non stop, so basically I’m screwed. I must have been an asshole in a previous life because my asshole never stops.

 

[maldorf]

I’m generically blessed enough to have both a Mom and Dad that fart non stop, so basically I’m screwed. I must have been an asshole in a previous life because my asshole never stops.

Gas X helps me some. Ever try that!?

 

[Heracles-Echo]

I was typing my college term paper at my girlfriend’s place using her computer while fully nude. I kept farting while working on my paper. When I finished my paper I left the room for a minute. She came and got me and said to follow her. She pointed at her computer chair and said go look at it. I shit all over it without knowing. Hahaha honestly that wasn’t embarrassing but pretty damn funny. I had much more embarrassing things happen with her but that would be too much information.

Although a little embarrassed, but a sweet life.

 

[MAD_SCIENTIST]

LOL. You really are full of gas much of the time! So many fart stories. You remind me of my father in that way, he is a master of farts. He can fart on command!

JJ as Darth Vader...

 

[Tim Zane]

I shaved my pubes in my girlfriend's roommate's toilet. I forgot to flush it.

The next day the roommate confronted me on leaving my pubes in the toilet in front of everyone at the house. And for doing that, she deserved those pubes.

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[Dum ton]

Gentlemen :banghead:

 

[Heracles-Echo]

Gentlemen :banghead:

Lol, it’s your turn~

 

[johnjuanb1]

JJ as Darth Vader...

Haha nice

 

[Heracles-Echo]

Haha nice

You always have some interesting pic

 

[Heracles-Echo]

Anyone else?

 

[maldorf]

Drinks shooting out your nose

This has probably happened to a good number of us. As a kid in junior high I was at a pizza party and laughed while drinking some coke. It shot out my nose like a squirt gun, all over my pizza.

Just a couple years ago it happened to me at Mcdonalds. I had my two girls with me and while standing in line there was this old guy with pants that were hanging down real low in the back. His butt crack was showing and it had nasty pimples all over it. We were still laughing about it once we sat down with our food. I had my milk shake shoot out my nose.

 

[Heracles-Echo]

This has probably happened to a good number of us. As a kid in junior high I was at a pizza party and laughed while drinking some coke. It shot out my nose like a squirt gun, all over my pizza.

Just a couple years ago it happened to me at Mcdonalds. I had my two girls with me and while standing in line there was this old guy with pants that were hanging down real low in the back. His butt crack was showing and it had nasty pimples all over it. We were still laughing about it once we sat down with our food. I had my milk shake shoot out my nose.

hahahaha....

 

[MAD_SCIENTIST]

This has probably happened to a good number of us. As a kid in junior high I was at a pizza party and laughed while drinking some coke. It shot out my nose like a squirt gun, all over my pizza.

Just a couple years ago it happened to me at Mcdonalds. I had my two girls with me and while standing in line there was this old guy with pants that were hanging down real low in the back. His butt crack was showing and it had nasty pimples all over it. We were still laughing about it once we sat down with our food. I had my milk shake shoot out my nose.

Lol maldorf...your stories reminded me when I was a little kid. One time I was eating ramen noodles with my siblings. We tried to make each other laugh while eating, I laughed so hard with ramen still in my mouth and for some reason I sneezed also and it resulted with ramen noodles sneezing out of my nose. We laughed as I pulled the noodles out my nose. I miss those days...
Take care.
MS

 

[maldorf]

Lol maldorf...your stories reminded me when I was a little kid. One time I was eating ramen noodles with my siblings. We tried to make each other laugh while eating, I laughed so hard with ramen still in my mouth and for some reason I sneezed also and it resulted with ramen noodles sneezing out of my nose. We laughed as I pulled the noodles out my nose. I miss those days...
Take care.
MS

Yeah, I miss it too. I wish I could go back and be young like that all over again. I would do a few things different too, knowing what I do now. Someone please discover time travel!

 

[AllLoadedUp]

Well good sir, I've never shat my pants.

A few months back though, I was eating warm canned salmon and boiled eggs in a Tupperware in my car in 95 degrees with the engine and ac off (yeah I know...I can down it in 45 seconds so I didn't feel the need)

Lady knocked on my window, I turned the key and rolled the window down:

*Lady legit starts dry heaving before she even says anything*

Then proceeds: "What the fuck???!!!!!" And walks away

Whatever she wanted to ask me is still a mystery to me to this day...

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I can't stop laughing.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

I was at the mall with the wife and kids one day in the food court. I was backed up in the corner of the panda express and my butt hole started to itch so I reached down and scratched it. Then because I’m a weirdo I slowly moved my hand up my stomach and chest pretending like I had an itch on my chest and then slowly smelled my finger. What I didn’t realize was there was a girl who worked at panda express who was bent down restocking something and saw me do the whole thing. She had a look on her face that I can only describe as a combination of disgust and pure shock.

You guys are killing me.

 

[bananas007]

great thread. i am LOLing .

 

[dfresh333]

A few years ago I had just moved into new house with new roommates, two of which I had never met previously, one of them female. Well just so happens I started up a bad case of hemorhoids ( if you have never had this, its terrible. Feels like your asshole is being stung by ants while having the worst sunburn ever and being stabbed by a knife in your lower guts at the same time.) I had just bought a tube of prep H to try to help. So I'm bending over unknowingly right in front of my bedroom door with my creamy finger rubbing my asshole bent over, when I hear my door open. I turn around to see my female roomate standing in horror at the door. Needless to say I was speechless and to mOe it worse I started laughing.

We had to have a conversation later that day to explain what happened....

 

[OrangeCat]

I have a classmate who shited in his pants during class when high school:headbang:.
I still remember the smell.

 

[Blazed_Noob]

So I was out in a local bar atea and I met a hot college girl who just wanted to hook up.
We talk for awhile then decide to go back to my place.
As soon as we are in the door out clothes come off and we get down to business. Before it gets serious i wrap up my little guy.
We continue to bang for about 20-30 minutes, it was amazing. I look down and notice the condom is not there any more. We stop and she asks where it went.
So we tear apart every inch of my bedroom and can't find it. Fuck.
I then ask " is it possible it's in you?"
She says I hope not, but we have to look.
So we Google it and it says she needs to squat down as far as she can and someone needs to reach up as far as they can and feel around inside her.
So ....she is naked squatting down on my bathroom counter and I'm kneeling on the floor below forearm deep inside her. I don't feel anything. She says go deeper ......so about the 4th try , elbow deep in her I feel something just barely hit my fingers just out of reach.
At this time someone knocks on the door, Its my best friend who is staying with me for a little while. He asks what going on in there. I tell him to fuck off for a few minutes. He laughs saying ohhh you must have company.
So she says hurry and try again , I go back in as far as I can and start to feel it....just then my roomate opens the door laughing and starts taking pictures with his phone....then abruptly stop laughing and walks back out...saying "the fuck'...
Now I'm on my knees naked with a naked chick squatting over me with my arm way up inside her with a OShit look on my face.....
I grab the condom and pull it out and she starts cussing and flipping out yelling. I was hoping to finish but obviously the mood was ruined.
Once I explained what was happening to my buddy he laughed and laughed...he now likes to show it to people when we are out drinking....




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