Ten things that prove you are a bodybuilder.

[maldorf]

Have to say that number 9 on Dusty's list is the one I feel the most. My wife gets tired of hearing me complain about it too, she says I am a gym snob.

 

[Rob Roy]

1. When you see a sign that says vote Prop 100, you think about how much you love testosterone.

2. your favorite jerk off material is Musclemag swimsuit edition

3. your 5 year old can go through all mandatory poses but doesnt know their ABC's

4. You have a different favorite shirt for every body part you workout.

5. You feel guilty for eating a sugar free popsicle while dieting

6. you cook all your food for the week in one day

Love number 3! Shoot, your 3 year old couldnt tie her shoe but could db curl a 20lb. db... Hmmm.. At which point in your prep was she concieved? hmm..

 

[steele]

you know you're a bodybuildier when...

... somone calls after an arm workout and you tell em you can't talk long cuz u can barely get the phone to your ear your arms are so pumped

anyone else have that problem or maybe its just me...

 

[tkav1980]

And the number one reason of all time is......
your protien farts are so bad it can wake you and your girl up in the middle of the night!

 

[brajosm]

I like number #6

ha thats funny i thought i was the only one

 

[M21SL]

And the number one reason of all time is......
your protien farts are so bad it can wake you and your girl up in the middle of the night!

haha, so classic and true. its just heinous some of the stuff i can produce. I think its also from all those fiberous carbs too.

 

[MilitaryMuscle]

you know your a bodybuilder when youve critiqued another man physique at the pool!

 

[mrsoul]

you know your a bodybuilder when youve critiqued another man physique at the pool!

lol!

 

[Phidias]

... somone calls after an arm workout and you tell em you can't talk long cuz u can barely get the phone to your ear your arms are so pumped

HAHAHA

Once I'm done with training arms there's no way in hell I lift a single bag that same day... it's called recovery

That's why I usually do them late at night in fear of being asked for help by close ones who for no reason would like to go shopping on this very day... just to bug me

 

[HUTCH]

you know your a bodybuilder if.....

1. for halloween every year your costume always just happens to not need a shirt.

2. you have been banned from planet fitness

3. your night is ruined because you missed the "45 minute window" to get your PWO shake in.

4. you refer to your friends as "good bro's"

5. you have ever given your dog protien so he can reach his genetic potential

6. you have ever gotten an email from another man who wants to pay you to wrestle with him...

 

[vladlen3000]

If you look forward to the day that your daughter is old enough so you can teach her how to shave her legs just like daddy- you might be a bodybuilder. (And I really can't wait to teach her how to really keep the stubble from coming back too soon).

If you can quote the protein content of a can of tuna fish to the second decimal point- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever used the words "sore" and "felt good" in the same sentence- you might be a bodybuilder

If you can identify Arnold Schwarzenegger/Ronnie Coleman/Jay Cutler from a picture showing only his calves- you might be a bodybuilder

If you were ever late for work because the time flew by while you were posing in front of the mirror- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever took your clothes off in the restroom at work to check to see if your conditioning was still on- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you can have a conversation lasting ten minutes or longer about creatine monohydrate- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever found yourself flexing while in a police line up- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you dieted down to be in contest shape while at the beach on your honey moon- you might be a bodybuilder (I will admit to this one).


If you ever moved something heavy, put it down and then picked it up again with your other arm just make sure your symmetry doesn't suffer- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever spent any time in your life worrying about your own symmetry- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you even know what symmetry means- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you have conversations that detail how many grams of protein you've had for the day- you might be a bodybuilder.


If you ever found yourself taking your clothes off in public to show everyone how ripped you are- you might be a bodybuilder

If you ever brought your own food to a family dinner, and slipped it on the plate while no one was looking- you might be a bodybuilder.


If you know what it feels like to forget your name after the 5th day of no carbs- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you know exactly the circumference of your right bicep- you might be a bodybuilder.

If carrying 15% bodyfat means that you are a fat bastard- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you shave and drop your carbs slightly before going to the doctor's office because you know you will have to spend some time with your shirt off- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you the word 'Freak' is a positive in your vocabulary- you might be a bodybuilder


If you ever took chicken breasts to the movie theater so that you would not miss a meal- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever asked for sodium free and fat free popcorn at the local movie theater- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you ever had to watch the puzzled expression on a waiter's face after explaining that you needed nothing added to your food since you have an important contest coming up- you might be a bodybuilder.


If you ever worried that you were burning too many calories while standing in line- you might be a bodybuilder. (Most certainly me in the early days)

If you ever passed gas and lost a life long friend because of it- you might be a bodybuilder.

If you don't see anything strange about Ziploc bags being handy food on the go food containers- you might be a bodybuilder.

If your kid hits a most muscular or front double biceps shot when someone points a camera at them and says "Pose"- you might be a bodybuilder (Guilty on that one too.)

If you ever woke up in a hospital bed, after being sick/shot/in a coma and the first thing you do is run to the mirror and flex to make sure you didn't lose too much mass- you might be a bodybuilder.


And my favorite
When you can't wait to fall asleep and see what your ZMA dreams will be!

 

[HUTCH]

HAHAH...Vlad those are some good ones....

 

[TooPowerful4u]

im shaking my head not knowing if i should feel shamed or laugh...that 90% of this thread applies to me haha

 

[RINO]

LOL.They're funny cause they're true.

 

[Potimus]

You see the people at your gym more than your family.
-When you start looking at everybody's body to see if they workout
-When you wake up, you check to see if you are sore.
-The UPS guys knows you by first name from all your BB.com orders
-You’re able to choke down can after can of tuna…with ease.
-When you use a 45lb plate as a frisbee
-You get asked to flex on average 5 times daily
-You know the carb/protein/calorie/fat count by heart for several different foods
-When you pee with a stop watch
-You wear an XL shirt and it's tight at the top, but loose at the bottom
-You're able so spell Arnold Schwarzenegger correctly
-Regular gym members come to YOU for supplement advice
-When you get really mad and then calm-down because you see all the veins sticking out of your arms
-Your girlfriend asks you what you did today? and you reply back/biceps.
-No matter how big you get, you will never be "big enough."
-You have your alarm set for meal times
-You have a panic attack when you see only one can of tuna left in the cupboard.
-You get fired from your job for too many bathroom breaks
-When you choke down the most disgusting foods for protein content
-You think of food in terms of functionality, practicality, and
finally taste, rather than the other way around.
-You think of cardio, not scissors, when you hear the
word “cutting.”
-You’ve learned more about the human body from lifting than in
Biology class.
-You read muscle and fitness magazine for entertainment, not
information.
-You know the difference between oatmeal, rolled oats, and
steel oats.
-You can’t remember what McDonald’s food tastes like.
-You take more pills than your grandma who has arthritis and
high blood pressure.
-You’d rather miss an important meeting or date than a
workout.
-You have a whole cabinet or shelf just for your supplemenmts.
-You look at the protein content of foods before anything else.
When u notice ur piss aint clear so u immediatly panic and down a pint of water.
-You begin to appreciate the taste of water.
-Your parents can't understand why you won't sit down and have a family dinner and you insist on making your own food.
-People give you weird looks when you get up three times in one class to take a leak.
-You dont get out of bed for school, but if its gym day your wide awake
-You leave a party or social event because you have to go eat meal #7.
-When you find a bar you start doing chin ups for fun
-When ur pecks are bigger then the freshman and sophmore girls
-You won't workout with ur friends because u worked that muscle group the day before.
-You prefer getting protein powder as a present over clothes
-When you can stare at another guys ass looking for striations an not be gay
-When lowcarb commercials start to really really piss u off
-You check bodybuilding.com store every day to see if new products have arrived
-Bodybuilding.com is your home page
-When you only have two protein servings left...and you start looking out the window every 5 minutes looking for the postman carrying your next batch....you get short tempered and paranoid.
-You cant ignore a reflection
-When chicks say, "you shouldnt get any bigger..."
-When total gym and bowflex commercials send u into rage!!!
-When people can see your back from the front
-When you are walking down the street, and start flying with your lats.
-When you have to have specially made pants, because your quads are too big, and your waist is so small.
-You list you gym memberships on your resume.
-Your friends make fun of you when you have a head of brocolli as part of your lunch
-You know that a 2.5 oz serving of Tuna has 32.5 g of protein and 1.5 g of fat.
-Delay sex with your g/f for another work out
-When you can't finish eating your food and so you shove the remainder in a blender so you can just drink it down.
-When the saying, Goin to the bar, means another set of chins.
-When you're asked what day it is and you reply with a bodypart
-When you start cursing at gap and abercrombie just coz they make the sleeves too small
-When you decide to never mix carbs and fats in a single meal ever again
-When you start getting paraniod that toothpaste might have sugar and thus only brush your teeth post workout
-When you can no longer reach behind to scratch your back
-When u walk by a car and look at ur reflection in the window
-when u know how many veins u have.
-When u eat 40 egg whites a week
-You switch hands while brushing your teeth, just so your left arm gets the same workout as your right arm.
-When you take a dump squatting instead of sitting
-You wanna kill everyone who thinks they are cut, built, and have abs while weighing 115 lbs
-When you are afraid to walk to the store when you are bulking because you will burn calories
-When you feel like crap the day after a workout just because you missed one minute of sleep
-When you have 10 filled 1.5 Ltre bottles lying around.
-When you start guessing how much each person at the gym weighs
-When you curse after every last set of the exercise
-When you know the name of every major muscle in the body.
-You go to the bathroom in the middle of the night to take a piss, and on the way out and as you're about to turn off the lights you take a quick look at yourself in the mirror and do a pose
-You've tried every recipe for tuna there is on the planet
-People ask you at school and work "what the hell do you carry in that bag??" and it's full of snacks, protein shakes, etc.
-You feel good when your shirt's starting to get tighter on you
-After a workout you go take a shower and you can't even lift that soap past your neck cuz it's so damn heavy but it feels so good.
-You can make exercises with any objects
-The shopkeeper tells you they don't have the weights your looking for so you benchpress him out the window.
-When ur girlfriend wants a snack and you come back with a can of tuna and two spoons.
-When you're half asleep and half awake, you dream about doing preacher curls and your hands smack your forehead.
-When you scream while having sex .."lightweight........baby"
-Almost everyone who enters your room thinks yer gay because of all this muscular guys posters on your walls
-Your fantasising about things that interest you, girls, cars, whatever, and then all of a sudden you start to daydream about how your workout is gonna go this day, and you go from picturing yourself f'ing 4 girls, to picturing yourself squatting 4 plates (on each side of course
-When someone asks you to carry a chair you refuse because its not your tricep day
-You can't go to sleep at night unless you've had milk, or cottage cheese.
-When you miss a meal, you can literally "feel" your muscles shrinking.
-You avoid intense labor the day before a workout, so you can preform at your peak the next day.
-You're late for class because you forgot your protien shake, and you had to drive back home to get it.
-The first assumption you make about anyone is how much they can benchpress.
-When you go to the gym with your friend when it's your leg day and end up doing bicep curls just to showoff.
-You start chasing your cats around the house because it's your cardio day.
-When going to the gym is better than going out to clubs or out, because the girls look better at the gym
-You're going away to a hotel for 1 night while bulking and use a trailor to carry all your food.
-When you feel sick and you wanna puke ... but you keep trying not to because of all the protein in your stomach
-Someone calls the police when they see you with a bag of white powder. little do they know that its protein powder.
-Doctors cant stick needles into you beucase your muscles are too hard.
-You always tell your friends “Man, that’s so bad for you” when you see them eating something
-You have uncontrollable gas that smells rancid and you can’t do anything about it, period.
-You want to violently attack the next person who thinks that creatine is a steroid.
-You sleep more than your new baby brother
-Mom cooks two turkeys at Thanksgiving: one for you, one for the family
-Skinny kids are always challenging you to pushup/situp/pullup competitions
-When you get pissed at your gf for taking a bite of your food because it through off the protein count
-You feel VERY bad after eating something you love E.g Fried chicken.
-When you actually searching for a job where they'll let you have a break every 2hrs
-You had a bad workout and literally cried
-You are asked COUNTLESS number of times whether you are in football/wrestling/boxing etc. even though you have NEVER played any of those sports.
-While cutting, you feel like you're getting away with murder when you treat yourself to a 10-calorie sugar free jello snack.
-When you go on Fear Factor and your competion is disgusted to drink 35 spiders, 16 roaches, and 1 cat mixed in a blender, but you are excited to drink it because Joe Rogan told you it contained 2000 grams of protein.
-When you walk past Vitamin world at the mall, and laugh/smile.
-When people think every pill you're taking is some sort of steriod, which is obviously cheating.
-When you keep lifting even though that pain(not a good pain) is killing you. You finish your workout.
-When u hide food to make sure that no one else is gonna eat ur supply
-You're always asking your friends to "hit me there" and marvel at the confusion on their faces when you fail to even wince
-You drink so much water, whenever you piss there's 2 streams.
-You get banned from all you can eat buffets.
-The day after your leg workout, people ask why you're walking like robocop
-When your neck is the same size as your head
-When you walk in a room and start to analyze if people workout and if you can take on everyone in the room.
-When your friends make fun of you eating every 2 hours and you pretend not to hear them but deep inside you are proud of yourself.
-You could train people without having to be a certified trainer
-When you get pulled over driving home after leg day; the cop thinks your drunk but the truth is your legs are so fried you can hardly move them
-You can cook better than your mom
-Your benchpress results decide how happy you are
-When you can look at someone's body and instantaneously figure out their flaws
-When you don't go to the gym for a couple of days, everyone starts getting really worried about you
-When you sit down for a family dinner...everyone has glasses to drink from, you bring your milk jug full of water
-When you start curling a car battary
-When you buy your own food, but you take up 2 or more carts
-You hear someone mention changing their oil, and you think they are referring to flax seed
-Cops pull you over and ask if ur "guns" are registered
-When you friend asks u if u are going to be in the gun show, u flex ur bicep.
-Everytime you sit down you always have to have your back straight
-When you consider laughing as a great ab workout
-You weigh yourself everyday and expect to gain a pound every two days when bulking.
-You learned about the elements on the periodic table from the back of your protein, creatine, and glutamine bottles instead of chemistry class.
-You'd miss a day in the gym before you'd miss a meal.
-People ask you "Are you not working-out today?" instead of "Are you working-out today?"

 

[tkav1980]

you cant make your car payment because you just sent alinshop $1200.
your protien budget is higher than your mortage payment.
you fantasize about chest day whenever your girl takes her bra off.
you dont jerk off because your afraid that your test levels will drop.
whenever you pick anything up off the ground you do a quick 10 rep set of squats.
your girl is standing naked in front of you and your actually checking out your shoulder pump in the mirror behind her.
you do pushups while in the missionary position.
insted of making a pot of coffee in the morning you have 13lbs of chicken on the foreman grill.
you take off your shirt when you have to carry anything heavy.
you want jay cutler to perform your wedding ceremony.
the wedding favors your guests get are 3 amps of sustanon and a couple of syringes.
you know more about chemistry than your brother who is a pharmasist.
you think your doctor doesnt know shit.
you dont get embarrassed anymore when you fart loud on leg day.
you walk into a room full of people and start thinking, yup im the biggest guy here.
if your not the biggest guy there you leave.
you actually want to be an oddity of nature.
your late for a meeting because your blender broke and you had to stop at the gym.

 

[Ryce]

my favorite one is you save all the used 10ml vials of test and deca and make a wind chime.