Terrible sex life, don't know what to do.

[juced_porkchop]

hey juiced,

i tried this for 7 years with my son's mother. We tried everything, counseling(individual and separate), church, romance, getaways etc. It just never seemed to work. We were just iincompatible sexually. She was my best friend ever, hell she still is, she grew resentful because she didn't see the need for me to masturbate etc. We tried the having sex when she didn't want to thing and she put forth one hellvua an effort BUT honestly i knew she wasn't into it and for me(especially with the woman i was in love with and married to) emotional connection plays a huge role in sex. I mean i still like to bruise the walls and knock the bottom out, but that kinda pales in comparison to making love to the right woman. Anyway, i digress. I feel your pain with this. We finally decided to go our separate ways and because we have a child together, i still get to see her for the rest of my life and i always feel remorseful that she is the woman i should be waking up next to each morning

So you need to be true to yourself and i applaud your perseverance, but i honestly think that today(and i am in the middle of a test cycle), if i could go back, i would choose being with her over the sex. Just my experience.

Thankyou

I need to be here for her, but i think i need to lose part of myself or leave her, im not leaving her , i dont care I WONT she has nothing, so im gonna have to loose part of myself, and hope i can deal with it and when i say sex, fuk one time a week id be happy. fuk 2 times a month even...
i wont leave though.....

anyway thanx to all.

 

[Designbuilt]

hey juiced,

i but i honestly think that today(and i am in the middle of a test cycle), if i could go back, i would choose being with her over the sex. Just my experience.

Well there's nothing that says you can't go back with her... My ex-wife told me the same thing, she said that if after I'm done if I feel that I made a mistake or that we did, we could try it again... We are also best friends and that helps a lot...

 

[Elvia1023]

Well there's nothing that says you can't go back with her... My ex-wife told me the same thing, she said that if after I'm done if I feel that I made a mistake or that we did, we could try it again... We are also best friends and that helps a lot...

Only read the last page but felt I should comment. I feel your advice is well intended but terrible. Every situation is different. But you can't just leave your gf/wife and hope she is that insecure and fucked up that she will just have you back as soon as you get fed up dating other women etc.

Power games are in most men's heads. The sad ones are the ones who think they will leave their gfs/wives and they will just go on to be miserable without them and not move on. They are often shocked when they try and get them back and the woman basically say fuck off. And if the women are pathetic enough to have them back then it will never be the same and their insecurites will grow out of control.

Not read all the thread but it is obvious Juiced loves his gf and wants it to work. It's a tough one. I guess many sacrifice certain things to make a relationship work and this may be one of those times. But a relationship with no sex, loving and closeness in soon will fall. Depression and insecurity can cause huge issues in relationships. She needs to move on and be happy in herself. Many people live in the past and allow it to effect them.

My gf went through alot in her past relationship. He beat her and made her feel worthless cos of his own insecurities. She is deeply insecure about her body. But we have such a good connection that things are great. But we are up and down usually due to her moods and feeling inadequate about her chest etc. You just have to be there for them. It's hard cos I wouldn't be able to cope if she wouldn't have sex so I completely understand. She knows what yout thinking so that will make things worse. Anyway I hope you sort things out and are happy.

 

[Cast Iron]

Dump her.

 

[osiris]

Well there's nothing that says you can't go back with her... My ex-wife told me the same thing, she said that if after I'm done if I feel that I made a mistake or that we did, we could try it again... We are also best friends and that helps a lot...

I hold out hope. For now we are great friends and co-parents. If its my god's will for me, it will be. If not i accept that.

 

[GS]

At 22 my wife was never in the mood.
Then for some reason @30 she wears me out.
She is 35 and is always asking when my next test cycle is!
Just keep trying to talk to her and let her know you want to make this work .
And make sure she knows the outcome of your talk could mean the end.
Good luck ,been there.

 

[juced_porkchop]

Only read the last page but felt I should comment. I feel your advice is well intended but terrible. Every situation is different. But you can't just leave your gf/wife and hope she is that insecure and fucked up that she will just have you back as soon as you get fed up dating other women etc.

Power games are in most men's heads. The sad ones are the ones who think they will leave their gfs/wives and they will just go on to be miserable without them and not move on. They are often shocked when they try and get them back and the woman basically say fuck off. And if the women are pathetic enough to have them back then it will never be the same and their insecurites will grow out of control.

Not read all the thread but it is obvious Juiced loves his gf and wants it to work. It's a tough one. I guess many sacrifice certain things to make a relationship work and this may be one of those times. But a relationship with no sex, loving and closeness in soon will fall. Depression and insecurity can cause huge issues in relationships. She needs to move on and be happy in herself. Many people live in the past and allow it to effect them.

My gf went through alot in her past relationship. He beat her and made her feel worthless cos of his own insecurities. She is deeply insecure about her body. But we have such a good connection that things are great. But we are up and down usually due to her moods and feeling inadequate about her chest etc. You just have to be there for them. It's hard cos I wouldn't be able to cope if she wouldn't have sex so I completely understand. She knows what yout thinking so that will make things worse. Anyway I hope you sort things out and are happy.

thank you. yes I do care about her alot! even if she wasnt a GF, but if i broke it off it would eb messed up.
but my mind is split up, 1 part one going one way one going the other...

deeds been done and I already have mixed feelings................

MAN atleast im not the only one.

 

[juced_porkchop]

I hate to say this but if your needs are not being met your foolish for staying I could not even fathom having a girl that wants it a few times a yr. I am not trying to be mean but we was just talking at work a guy says the same thing his wife wont sleep with him and dont know what to do. When he is not around all the other guys laugh about it and say how foolish it is for him to go through it. If your not happy which your not and there are no kids envolved I would bounce mabey a heart to heart talk first but that rarely works. I feel for you but if you wont make sure your needs are met no one else will either.

I know but to me sexy means a VERY VERY small part of a relation ship... but it still matters in the end...
I know what you mean though.

 

[wrought]

DTMFA

Sex is important, you have no sex, no kids, no ring...life is shorter than you think and you can waste a lot of it waiting and hoping that somebody else will change and things will be different.

 

[warriordogx]

I've been married for a long long long time. One day I told her I'm going to do something to her that we never did before, she laughed and said we did everything what else can we possibly do.

I added viagra and I learned how to my make my old lady squirt. According to her its a different kind of orgasm and enables her to have multiple orgasms.

Now she wants it all the time.


Something different and something new...

 

[brutale]

Wonder how things are working out for the OP.

I liked the plan of:
- trying more romance
- making sure her hormones are sorted and birth control pills are not the cause

There was some evidence she isnt v sexual -- reluctance to give head -- so you want to establish a time limit. If things aren't better by ---, then you had better pull the plug.

Of course, you could run a lot of deca and drop down to her level!

 

[ShortStop]

i would definitely try the romance approach. women like to be complimented all the time tell her how beautiful n smart she is how proud u are of her run a bath for her candles with a back rub or massage just a thought maybe a different approach whatever works especially if u like this girl worth the try sounds like shes got her shit together

 

[supertrucker212]

I feel for ya bro. In my last serious relationship that was the first sign that I noticed, she stopped wanting to have sex. We didn't have sex for 3 months, then we broke up. Every time I wanted to have sex she had a reason that she couldn't. Not to bring you down, but I'm just drawing on my own personal experience. There is a slight possibility that it's hormonal, but I would say that it's VERY slight. I do agree that sex is part of a relationship, pretty hard to have a relationship for very long without it. I would just be brutally honesty and come and ask what's going on?

 

[toddcdozer]

No woman on this planet will keep up with a guy on test.And if she does she's somekind of deviant. I am g2g 5-8 times a day on 1g TNE. Never met a women that was that way after the first 2-3 days of a relationship. Get used to sex drives that dont match if you cycle and apply the romance factor as often as possible. Remember we arent natural and a woman matching us is a tad strange if she's not on something as well.

 

[Cito33189]

No woman on this planet will keep up with a guy on test.And if she does she's somekind of deviant. I am g2g 5-8 times a day on 1g TNE. Never met a women that was that way after the first 2-3 days of a relationship. Get used to sex drives that dont match if you cycle and apply the romance factor as often as possible. Remember we arent natural and a woman matching us is a tad strange if she's not on something as well.

lmao dam sexual deviants hahaha

 

[jack of all]

So how did this turn out? If my wife is on birth control there will he zero sex. They remove every bit of desire. I have been married 15 years and there have been times of great sex and times most of you guys would have ran. But like osiris said this woman is my soul mate so I have always stayed with her and we have grown over the years to be very compatible for the most part.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

 

[Vin]

I'd follow pursue both the medical (hormones) and the psychological route.
It could be hormonal, in that case a full blood work and consultation with a doctor would sort the problem. But it could also be a mental block, for whatever reason she might associate sex to something "wrong and dirty", in that case it's not her willingly but her subconscious blocking her.

 

[lauren33189]

Asshole

So Cito when was the last time you did anything romantic for your girlfriend. Do you have a job? Are you a good provider? Have you given her reasons to stress and worry? Sometimes we are so quick to blame the girl. As a man you have to do things as well. A girl who supports her boyfriend who just goes to the gym doesnt work doesnt provide DOESNT DRIVE doesnt have a car, basically relies on her for EVERYTHING probably isnt to energized at the end of the day to have sex when she supports the family and you just sit there and go to the gym. Not to mention you cheated on her more than 5 times including with her best friend. Dont believe a word this kid says everyone. He has no job, no money, no romance NOTHING! when my close family member died he didnt even come to the funeral to support me. When i got my nursing job he wasnt even happy. So go ahead tell him to leave me, in case you havent figured it out by now I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND AND YES I GOT IMPLANTS TO FIX MY BOOBS AND YES THEY ARE D's CAUSE I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT FROM SUPPORTING THIS ASSHOLE. Fuck you, pack your shit and leave.

 

[lauren33189]

WHAT!? never heard of a woman not liking a vibrator... having a lot of sex is one thing but is she reaching orgasm? If she's not able to orgasm then sex does become a lot of work for no pay off and it eventually becomes less inviting. Sounds like she may have some psychological hang ups regarding sex, if she doesn't even like talking about it? It's gonna be a huge problem if she is not willing to seek help for it and it is in her best interest to do so cuz regardless of who she is with it will be a problem. Check things medically and then I would think the next step would be a sex therapist or some sort of counseling.

i am CITO33189's girlfriend I have no issues with sex, i dont like a vibrator, when he wants me to use a huge one and makes me feel like i am being raped sorry not a turn on. I have had a orgasm and i dont need a vibrator to have one sorry if your girlfriend does. The last nice thing this kid has done for me was when we were 16 and then he cheasted on me. he never EVER does anything nice for me. sorry romance is the way to my vagina, not to shove a fucking huge plastic vibrator up me and tear apart my insides cause it turns him on.

 

[lauren33189]

WHAT!? never heard of a woman not liking a vibrator... having a lot of sex is one thing but is she reaching orgasm? If she's not able to orgasm then sex does become a lot of work for no pay off and it eventually becomes less inviting. Sounds like she may have some psychological hang ups regarding sex, if she doesn't even like talking about it? It's gonna be a huge problem if she is not willing to seek help for it and it is in her best interest to do so cuz regardless of who she is with it will be a problem. Check things medically and then I would think the next step would be a sex therapist or some sort of counseling.

I'd follow pursue both the medical (hormones) and the psychological route.
It could be hormonal, in that case a full blood work and consultation with a doctor would sort the problem. But it could also be a mental block, for whatever reason she might associate sex to something "wrong and dirty", in that case it's not her willingly but her subconscious blocking her.

SO VIN maybe its walking in on him having sex with another girl, or him having sex with my best friend. or getting text messages from him that were ment to go to another girl. you think this would have something to do with a "mental block" thank you all for offically ruining our relationship and thank you "cito33189"/JOE for ruining the relationship once and for all