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The Thing About Trophies....

method2madness

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Apr 19, 2010
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I recently suspended my efforts at prepping for the NYC Bev francis Eastern states and then the Nationals. THere were a variety of reasons most of them emotional, personal, professional, etc... But ultimately the real reason was that I was starting to alienate and frighten my wife and cause my 8 month old baby boy to be afraid of his father. Some of you might say I should have better self control, others might straight up sympathize with my position but i know that if anywhere, the members of this board would be more understanding of the change in priorities and circumstances that led me to this decision. With my career, grad school, contest prep, and raising my first born, for 8 weeks i would come home from the gym and not even have the energy to pick up or play with my son for even one minute. And then my wife and I would argue so often (usually my fault, anyone who's seriously prepped for a show knows how this can go) that my baby boy started to turn away from me and that's what ultimately led me to stop prepping. I'll throw up a shot in the next couple of day of me 2 weeks out of the New York show to show that I was on target if not ahead of the game physically and my conditioning had nothing to do with my decision. YOu see, the thing about trophies is they don't do this for you when you come home at night....
 

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With my career, grad school, contest prep, and raising my first born, gym

Damn man, you've got a lot on your plate.
Its good that you came to this conclusion though, there are a lot more important things in life than bodybuilding.
Your son looks like he is really happy, those are great pics.
 
I for one can completely understand this sport has caused the breakup of more marriages, boy friends and girl friends, and families than anyother sport I know of, most of us in this sport are pretty obsessive and it can become very eazy to lose track of what is really important in our lives, if you don't have a balance you can end up loosing everything
 
I'm glad you guys understand how this goes. You see, I could be a great competitive bodybuilder and I can be a great father, but I can't do both at the same time and when you weigh what's really important, it's no freakin contest!
Peace brothers and sisters,
M2M:cool:
 
i dont have a kid, but i empathize with your situation. ive ended many relationships because of the stress from shows. it comes down to what you enjoy and love. it seems to me, and may be wrong, this bodybuilding has become more of a job than passion. and we all know the stress jobs create. you made the right decision and anyone who says you need self control obviously hasnt been through what you are. best of luck and God Bless man. (but dont forget to pick up a plate or two ;) )
 
i dont have a kid, but i empathize with your situation. ive ended many relationships because of the stress from shows. it comes down to what you enjoy and love. it seems to me, and may be wrong, this bodybuilding has become more of a job than passion. and we all know the stress jobs create. you made the right decision and anyone who says you need self control obviously hasnt been through what you are. best of luck and God Bless man. (but dont forget to pick up a plate or two ;) )

Many plates have been consumed in the week between my decision and now and man does it feel good! I like the food, but I love being able to train hard again and enjoy life at the same time. Peace brother!
 
Family comes number one mate..

At the end of the day, trophies don't mean shit..

The award you don't want to win is "Bad father of the year"..

Props to you for making the right decision for you and your family.. :headbang:
 
The most important thing a father can do for his children is love and respect their mother.
 
Glad to see you got your priorities straight brother.

Family>bodybuilding
 
Family comes number one mate..

At the end of the day, trophies don't mean shit..

The award you don't want to win is "Bad father of the year"..

Props to you for making the right decision for you and your family.. :headbang:

I'm glad yo uguys get why I did what I did. There are so many out there with messed up priorities who would and often do make the wrong decision in regards to family and yes, the last thing i want to win is Bad father Of The Year. THat shit sticks forever.
Peace and good training to you brothers :cool:
M2M
 
bro i compete and know exactly how u feel funny thing is when we blow up in a argument with wife we dont even think straight.and its something that u cant control.yea some here will say its all discipline bro but not every one is built the same mentally.sometimes i look at what i call my wall of fame.the wall that has all my pics and my trophies and i say wow that was hard work and im proud but was it worth puting the one who really love u through all the crap.i look at it this way a week after your show no one will be talking about it or you anymore BUT your true love ones will never forget what we turn into everytime they see those pics or trophies.i think u did a great thing by picking ur family over the show.just look at those beautiful smiles on ur babies face thats what counts brother.no matter what as long as u train and stay looking fit.when u look in the mirror you know u looking at a champ and a dad and a husband.
 
bro i compete and know exactly how u feel funny thing is when we blow up in a argument with wife we dont even think straight.and its something that u cant control.yea some here will say its all discipline bro but not every one is built the same mentally.sometimes i look at what i call my wall of fame.the wall that has all my pics and my trophies and i say wow that was hard work and im proud but was it worth puting the one who really love u through all the crap.i look at it this way a week after your show no one will be talking about it or you anymore BUT your true love ones will never forget what we turn into everytime they see those pics or trophies.i think u did a great thing by picking ur family over the show.just look at those beautiful smiles on ur babies face thats what counts brother.no matter what as long as u train and stay looking fit.when u look in the mirror you know u looking at a champ and a dad and a husband.

Damn straight!! And I can always be the muscular, healthy, jacked up father who all the other fathers want to be like. but I can only do this if I have a family around to do it for!
 
u aint kidding bro i have a 6 years old and a 17 year old both boys.and every time i go to my 6 yld school events all the dads tell me wow you look good u big as hell all the mom are looking at me like im a striper.my 17 yld plays high school football and all his team mate always tell him damn your dad is jacked his coaches mess with me like hey lets put u in a uniform lol.i go out with my wife people always have to say something always.what u eat how many time u work out.my wife always pointing out the chicks looking at me.babe look at that one she cant take her eyes off you or look at the group over there staring at u.i love my wife she so cool and good to me.and all those things make me feel better than those trophies bro.
 
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I have a 7 and 11 yr old and I can tell you that there were plenty of times that my kids would shun me. It broke my heart. My son would do it to me to the point where I would say "fuck it, I'm not even gunna talk to him anymore."

They were a little bit more grown then your beautiful looking son, but that made it also hard, because I felt that they knew what they were doing.
I took it very personal.

so I know the feeling. I think you are doing the right thing taking some time set aside for your family. Kids really do grow up fast right before your very eyes, and you don't want to miss a minute of it.
Hang in there and it will work out for you.

Don't take it out on yourself. Kids can be very funny at times. Just learn to understand them. I know it is not easy. You have many unbelievable times to share with your son. :headbang:
 
Awesome thread...life is just that, about living...Your son is cute and worth more then any trophy
 
My boy is the light of my life :D I can and will always live the life but I don't want to miss another single minute of my boy's life. And for the foreseeable future getting on stage is no longer an option. But my boys smile, more valuable than any trophy from any show.
 
bro i compete and know exactly how u feel funny thing is when we blow up in a argument with wife we dont even think straight.and its something that u cant control.yea some here will say its all discipline bro but not every one is built the same mentally.sometimes i look at what i call my wall of fame.the wall that has all my pics and my trophies and i say wow that was hard work and im proud but was it worth puting the one who really love u through all the crap.i look at it this way a week after your show no one will be talking about it or you anymore BUT your true love ones will never forget what we turn into everytime they see those pics or trophies.i think u did a great thing by picking ur family over the show.just look at those beautiful smiles on ur babies face thats what counts brother.no matter what as long as u train and stay looking fit.when u look in the mirror you know u looking at a champ and a dad and a husband.


Very well put....
 
I think one of the most overused statements of all time is, "I would do anything for my kid." Few can actually live up to that claim, I think maybe you can.
 

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