This saying hurt me really bad, do I have the right to feel hurt?

[Zarati]

My girlfriend said she wishes she never married her ex husband. And if she knew what she knows now, she'd marry someone else. Today she had an argument with her ex over their kids.

This kind of hurt me, because this means that she doesn't appreciate me really? Otherwise she wouldn't have any regrets. Life happened just the way it did. Also, she has kids, and means she would be okay if she married someone else and had different kids.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive

This reminds me of when my mom told me she wishes she never married my dad. It means she'd be okay with not having me.

I don't know, do I have the right to feel sad about it?

They're not directly aimed at me, but it just means that they'd be okay with me not being part of their lives

 

[Bodyofwork365]

You’re over analyzing it bro. Let her vent to you, be supportive of her, and don’t read into it so much.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

My girlfriend said she wishes she never married her ex husband. And if she knew what she knows now, she'd marry someone else. Today she had an argument with her ex over their kids.

This kind of hurt me, because this means that she doesn't appreciate me really? Otherwise she wouldn't have any regrets. Life happened just the way it did. Also, she has kids, and means she would be okay if she married someone else and had different kids.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive

This reminds me of when my mom told me she wishes she never married my dad. It means she'd be okay with not having me.

I don't know, do I have the right to feel sad about it?

They're not directly aimed at me, but it just means that they'd be okay with me not being part of their lives

She's in a much more emotional state than you. She's not thinking clearly into it and the ramifications. You're not emotional about and are. Both your gf and your mother said things that made made you feel bad. Possibly this latest is causing you to experience the hurt of the earlier experience.

Seriously though, this is the nature of emotional outbursts. Reason number 4056 why we need to learn to control our emotions. Master them. Otherwise, they control you. If you think she would understand you, then calmly discuss it. If that's impossible, then just let it ride. You don't want her coming back with some,"I'm hurting and all you care about is yourself" nonsense.

 

[TheBeeffer]

Emotional impulsiveness can cloud judgement. life is like Chess game, think of the move before you make the move. Think is that a good idea.

 

[Blacktail]

You are over thinking it

 

[pesty4077]

I don't know too many people who had something nice to say, after being through a divorce with their exes.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I don't know too many people who had something nice to say, after being through a divorce with their exes.

 

[Kaladryn]

My girlfriend said she wishes she never married her ex husband. And if she knew what she knows now, she'd marry someone else. Today she had an argument with her ex over their kids.

This kind of hurt me, because this means that she doesn't appreciate me really? Otherwise she wouldn't have any regrets. Life happened just the way it did. Also, she has kids, and means she would be okay if she married someone else and had different kids.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive

This reminds me of when my mom told me she wishes she never married my dad. It means she'd be okay with not having me.

I don't know, do I have the right to feel sad about it?

They're not directly aimed at me, but it just means that they'd be okay with me not being part of their lives

When you say "this means" you are totally reading into it and speculating in a way that isn't logical or realistic. She is saying something that indicates how difficult this experience was for her, it has nothing to do with you directly, it is so you can better understand her.

 

[goback2013]

I don't know too many people who had something nice to say, after being through a divorce with their exes.

My ex-wives talk shit about me... but have no problems coming through for a no strings attached trist every couple months or so.
They use the 'coming to see the grandchildren' as an excuse. Ok

 

[2001bullitt]

… stop over thinking and enjoy the moments you have. trust in yourself and the fact that if in the future something comes up… u will respect yourself and make the hard decisions without hesitation

 

[Care1]

One thing you are entitled to is your feelings. Don't judge them. Realize they are yours but don't judge them. Since they're yours- they're your responsibility. It's important to sit with and or watch your feelings, allow them and process them. Maybe you have to compartmentalize them temporarily to get something done but make sure you come back to them. The only way to be free of a feeling is to fully process it and let it come and let it go as it does. Trying to control the feelings will just cause anxiety bc control is an illusion. Just the fact that the feeling makes you try to control it means it controls you. Control you but not the feeling. Accept and be with and process the feeling. No judgement. Who cares if it's right or wrong? It is a feeling you experience and if you don't process it- it doesn't go away.
I have experienced processing alot of old negative feelings that I was cut off from and even the worst: shame/worthlessness- after feeling them enough to process them- on the other side when the weight of the world was lifted off me; I felt like why the hell did I not do that sooner- it was So Worth it! And I started facing and accepting all my negative feelings and not judging them, only being with and processing them bc I knew/know the freedom on the other side.

Now, if you want to get to the root of the feeling the root could be a belief based on some experience/s. Or it could be a self identity you formed a belief that you are or should be and therefore are adamant about defending and maintaining...if you want to go deeper. I know this isn't in line with psychology's(the mind's study of the mind) science of "self" but it isn't mental. It's getting deeper to what is experiencing the mind. I can't make any claim of right or wrong only that my experience is that as I unbecame a stagnant, defined, identity formed from experiences stored in mind and therefore a mind dependent identity- I began to actually experience more freedom, joy and peace. To described it I began filling full but light whereas before I felt emptier and more burdened.
This is my experience.