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To my married friends here ....

And lets get something straight....... men are testosterone driven creatures. We are hard wired to look at every single female we see as a potential chance to spread our seed with. That is how we insured our survival. We bred we anyone we could get our dick in. And as men we.all still have this instinct in us. Many of us fight this instinct all day every day..... guess what? Thats normal..... but guess what are brains have evolved a great deal since then. So while the instinct remains.......we are not animals..... we are human beings with a mind and heart that seek connection on the deepest of levels....... studies have shown the happiest people arent the richest, smartest, or best looking. It is the people that feel connected to others and the world that live the best lives. If we live by animal instinct and give to constantly seeking pleasure we miss out on what really drives the whole human experience and that is love... .. you cant give love on a true level if you live your life by instinct. I challenge people to be responsible human beings. Your brain is just an organ. But most people let there brains run the show.constantly avoiding pain and seeking pleasure....and this sad... you are not your brain !!! You have a mind.... you run the show...you are the captain of your ship. Dont make excuses guys.... be all you can be. I promise if you do you will be glad that you did and the world might be a little better place as well

Good post. The only problem I have with this is the fact that I truly think some people are wired to not need these things you speak of. Some people are immensely happy just being rich and thats all they need. Not everyone needs these things, but I would say that the vast majority of people do need it. Are people like this less human than us, are they evil? What makes the majority right and the minority like this wrong? What makes one religion right and another wrong? I must admit that I dont think I know anyone up close and personal that doesnt need these things, but i think it is foolish to say that all human beings are like this. Another thing to consider is that with different types of personalities there is a continuum of need levels and each is different, much like the spectrum of light. One last thing to consider is that a person's needs change with age too, and what used to be important may no longer even be on the radar 30 yrs later.

Just a few ideas running through my head.
 
Bottom line is he won't be apologizing...

Actually just blocked him on facebook, was going to meet up with him in LA around the holiday season when he came into town.

Last thing he sent me over there was "Those guys on Pro muscle are a bunch of pussies. One of the mods says I do little boys. So i dish it back and they ban me for 3 days."


We may not all have an issue with the sexual lifestyle he chooses to live, but we should all have an issue with near or actually underage naked pictures getting put up, lashing out with extremely personal insults any time someone disagrees, and all around hostility.


Maldorf way to play devils advocate lol
 
Iabadman

Tried to send you a PM but your box is full. Here is what I tried to send:

"Hope you didnt take my posts too personal, but I just felt like I had to say something because it had been bothering me. Before my heart attack I used to keep things bottled up a lot more but now I try to speak my mind.

I have respect for you and what youre trying to do on this site. I think that lifeline thread you started is a great thing and it has helped a lot of folks on here!"
 
I look forward to responding to you later. I do my best to not take things personal these days. You have your thoughts and i certainly have mine....... but are you aware of the positive psychology movement that began in 2000? I dont think you are? Psychology was major and what i attended grad school for. But then psychology focused on treatment of disorders or issues. Positive psychology focuses on making people happier and better by understanding happiness and a gd life ....these people have spent yrs basically proving wrong most of what you last. So like i said before when i speak on something i make i have real world knowledge backing me up........ are you wealthy? Or do you personally know the personal lives of lots of very wealthy people? Because i do and i know not one that is happy beyond the surface of their life....... not a single one.... ..i will get back later.. ....but talking about small segments of pepple and variations is giving nothing of informative value to the board in which the large majority are not as empty and shallow as you seems to think that they are........... i can all but guarantee they are nothing like you think.why is life support the top thread on a steriod board? Simple people crave love support and connection not the empty bs you thinkthat they do. There might be one right religion or philosophical viewpoint...... but love is the one constant needed to live a life of meaning
 
i can say this J.........with absolute 100% certainty....
and agree with you that....

THE GRASS IS NEVER GREENIER ON THE OTHERSIDE.

it just looks that way.....the way the sun hits it or something, i dont know.
but it aint fucking greenier!!!!......its not as soft, and it dont smell better.

it never is.

:cool:
 
i can say this J.........with absolute 100% certainty....
and agree with you that....

THE GRASS IS NEVER GREENIER ON THE OTHERSIDE.

it just looks that way.....the way the sun hits it or something, i dont know.
but it aint fucking greenier!!!!......its not as soft, and it dont smell better.

it never is.

:cool:

It takes alot of f'n up and then growing up before we figure it out huh!
 
I always just stayed away from his prostitute threads. So many seemed to love them but I just found it sad but amusing. I am sure he is quite a character but obviously had issues. He was a bad liar from many years before so his sexual exploits were no different. I would feel sorry for him but he seems to have a good life (for him) so good on him. I find it strange how he ended up flipping though. No one said anything bad about his wife but he couldn't seem to understand their comparsion... obviously alot of issues going on in his head. Moreover he couldn't seem to understand why some would take offense to those horrible pics he posted and his talk of buying drug addict prostitutes more drugs just to get sex.

Well I guess he will cheer himself up by drinking 50 beers and 1 bottle of tequila in a day and having sex with 7 prostitutes whilst having no sleep then going back and having sex with his wife twice whilst watching lesbian porn then having 2 hours sleep then doing lots of cardio and lifting and drinking another 10 beers through the day before he ends up going to tijuana again with a cooler of 20 beers his wife done for him and having sex with another few girls but on the 3rd girl suddenly another girl who once wanted to marry him walks in and they start fighting over him before they get fed up and decide to just do eachother instead and they all have sex for another 6 hours before he has another beer and another 2 hours sleep :rolleyes:;)
 
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Bottom line is he won't be apologizing...

Actually just blocked him on facebook, was going to meet up with him in LA around the holiday season when he came into town.

Last thing he sent me over there was "Those guys on Pro muscle are a bunch of pussies. One of the mods says I do little boys. So i dish it back and they ban me for 3 days."


We may not all have an issue with the sexual lifestyle he chooses to live, but we should all have an issue with near or actually underage naked pictures getting put up, lashing out with extremely personal insults any time someone disagrees, and all around hostility.


Maldorf way to play devils advocate lol

I agree, I did not like the way he was acting and the threads really got out of hand. It all started out ok a few months back with his first post but then he got carried away. One thread about it was enough I think.
 
I look forward to responding to you later. I do my best to not take things personal these days. You have your thoughts and i certainly have mine....... but are you aware of the positive psychology movement that began in 2000? I dont think you are? Psychology was major and what i attended grad school for. But then psychology focused on treatment of disorders or issues. Positive psychology focuses on making people happier and better by understanding happiness and a gd life ....these people have spent yrs basically proving wrong most of what you last. So like i said before when i speak on something i make i have real world knowledge backing me up........ are you wealthy? Or do you personally know the personal lives of lots of very wealthy people? Because i do and i know not one that is happy beyond the surface of their life....... not a single one.... ..i will get back later.. ....but talking about small segments of pepple and variations is giving nothing of informative value to the board in which the large majority are not as empty and shallow as you seems to think that they are........... i can all but guarantee they are nothing like you think.why is life support the top thread on a steriod board? Simple people crave love support and connection not the empty bs you thinkthat they do. There might be one right religion or philosophical viewpoint...... but love is the one constant needed to live a life of meaning

I was a Biology major with a minor in Chem and I did take about 6 classes each 1 semester long in psych. I must admit that some of psychology makes good sense but I really didnt care for a lot of it. I also took some classes in sociology. My graduate degree is a master in education and exercise physiology too.
 
his talk of buying drug addict prostitutes more drugs just to get sex.

Thats the part that really made my stomach upset because I have seen the damage drug addiction can do to people. That is the one part that bothered me the most. The langauge and what he was saying to our good members here wasnt right either. I just hope everything dies down now.
 
I some great responses planned to show some of the holes in madorfs thinking ....but why try to fight it ....He is a bright man with his own opinions ....He is also a good person that has helped quite a few over at life support ....I am no one to judge a man's thoughts and I choose respect the man as he is ....I feel he lumped me into those that were passing judgement ....so in a sense he was judging me .....I was very clear in my post that there was no judgement in regards to his choices or how he lived his life ....That is never my intention .....I do feel a responsibility to offer different points of view on things I know quite a bit about in order to make people maybe see a different perspective.


Just like most of you here choose to break the law by using gear . If people are responsible human beings and not hurting anyone but themselves ......why should any one judge what they choose to do ? ......My point is that I think guns , drugs , sex ect.....should all be legal ....My point is providing love , education , and support so people will make healthy choices more often than not . Not just for themselves , but for others as well ......if you create the sense that we are all connected, instead of alone and separate , then I promise you that crime would drop , neighborhoods would change , and things would get better ......As long as we see things as us against the world , and we feel that way ......there will always be selfish people ......but in places like the US or third world countries it will always be much worse as it is the every man for himself attitude on a grander scale .......to me, that misses the whole point of human existence and is why I am creating my own web community that is based on love , respect , and connection .......I don't like the way the world is ....so I am going to do something about it and find other people to join me with whole different perspective .......


One final word .....Should prostitution be legal ? Yes ........but because something should be legal or is . Does that make it right or a loving choice ? Steroids are illegal ......but does that make it wrong or a moral offense ? I think most of you would see my point .......even maldorf who clearly didn't have a problem adjusting his morality to what he thought was right for him .....Prostitution is not a victim less endeavor unlike using gear .......I shared my inside perspective only hoping to give the real world inside perspective ......hoping it might get some guys to think before they chose to make certain choices .....I don't judge T.O. M or anyone else .......nobody should judge anybody ........but we all should help each other see a loving perspective if we can ......


maldorf .....we are fine .....i like you ...I appreciate you .....thanks for your help at life support and I hope it continues .....but piping up thinking I was judging when I was very clear ......trying to debate perspectives was not cool imo ....especially with the selfish cold perspective that you did ....but being that your education is science based and I doubt you have experienced any of the amount of human contact and interaction that I have in the perspective you come from , I can only listen and respect as well as try to learn from what you share ...............But I have one last thing to share .....you seem to think that people a so different and are driven by material things or simple pleasures ......but you are very off base .....research and history supports this .....those things never fill up the emptiness that people are seeking to fill with those choices .....this is a fact ....ask any addict on the board and there many of them here ......humans need something deeper and greater .....temporary fixes do nothing but cause a greater void and a continuous hole that is constantly needed to be filled with more or better .....if you can't see that , then you need to get out in the world and see how the rich , selfhish , and addicted live . [ and sadly this is most of the population ]
 
being that your education is science based and I doubt you have experienced any of the amount of human contact and interaction that I have in the perspective you come from , I can only listen and respect as well as try to learn from what you share ...............But I have one last thing to share .....you seem to think that people a so different and are driven by material things or simple pleasures ......but you are very off base .....research and history supports this .....those things never fill up the emptiness that people are seeking to fill with those choices .....this is a fact ....ask any addict on the board and there many of them here ......humans need something deeper and greater .....temporary fixes do nothing but cause a greater void and a continuous hole that is constantly needed to be filled with more or better .....if you can't see that , then you need to get out in the world and see how the rich , selfhish , and addicted live . [ and sadly this is most of the population ]

Well, I have had experience firsthand with the problems of drug addiction with one of my best friends and played around with that crap myself when I was in high school and stupid so I have some experience there. I had to wrestle a knife from my best friend because he had it to his throat and was threatening to cut it. I wrestled him down, pinned him, and then they came and took him away in a staight jacket. I didnt see my friend for almost 3 months as he was taken away to some facility. After graduating college in 92 I ddint really find a good job and got married really young, that marriage ended in my wife having an affiar, hows that for human experience. I worked as an account manager for a rent to own company and repossesed all of a family's furniture and TV on Christmas Eve, hows that for an eye opener?I took the little kid's bunk beds and beds so they had nowhere to sleep. I visited all of the housing projects in our city and saw the worst of the worst. Ive seen a lot of crap in my life, did an autopsy once on a young beautiful 21 yr old girl that got run over by a train. Been in 2 very serious car accidents and totalled 2 cars. I had a heart attack that almost killed me at the age of 38. Ive been married 2x and have 2 kids.

Ive lived a lot in my 42 yrs so dont assume just because I dont have a degree in psych that I dont understand human nature. I learned a lot being a repo man and going through that most heart breaking divorce. After my divorce I went off all alone to a town I knew nobody and pursued a masters in exercise phys, that was a very hard time for me because I was still in love with my then still legal wife. I saw her fucking him, I walked in on it but wanted to forgive her.

I think that it is overly simplistic to say that all people fit the mold you speak of. Today I am doing quite well financially and I have to tell you that it makes life a whole lot easier and more enjoyable. My marriage today isnt perfect but it is what it is, and after awhile I think most of us just settle for what we think is as good as its going to get. Marriage is not the Holy Grail and it doesnt necessary make life better for everyone.

Just some ramblings, sorry if it doesnt make a lot of sense lol!
 
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I feel your pain ......I really do and I think you really are missing some things in your life that you could really find if you chose to let go of hurt and put in the work .....I hope live out your life happy and in peace ..I so mean that ....simplicity is the key to brilliance ....btw Albert E said that..lol.....and you have lived, but what did one thing you shared have to do with my perspective and knowledge of the adult business ? { because not one thing there involves anything in that arena ] You came here saying I was judging T.o.m. , which I wasn't[ which open stated from the get go ] ....then you claim that prostitution is just a business and most girls aren't forced ,which is so false it is sad .[ do your research , girls around the world everywhere are forced into the sex trade every single day by the thousands ......there are many organizations battling this issue ....so you attack my view when I have spent 16 yrs on the inside on various levels in areas of that scene[ and yes, there are good people , a few happy people that live in this world ......and I am one of them .but it rare ..about like seeing a unicorn , but they do exist, you are very correct ] ....and I spent 3000 hours working with addicts , girls with eating disorders , and people that were suicidal in grad school and have tried to help people the last 16 yrs be better happier people while battling the odds ....for you to say your life and tragedies adds up to anything that gives you real perspective of whether or not prostitution was victim less or not is rather interesting to say the least .......You felt a need to come on this thread .....to defend TOM , people placing judgment[ which you felt the need to post in my thread even though I clearly said he was his own man and I respect his choices ] ,and your perspective of prostitution , open marriage [ have you been in the scene ? Seen the realities , not the bullshit people advertise to make it ok to themselves ?I have and been tied to people that own some of the largest swingers clubs in ca for many yrs .Ever seen addicts justify there drug use and life ? They make it seem so great don't they ? Must read and watch alot of tv ] and you need to defend TOM actions for his age ......something I never once mentioned as an issue ,because to me age is only a number .....but your character is a choice !!!!

So take a look at your post , then look at what you used to back up your views ? What does that have to do with my thread on marriage ? Zero ....if you wanted to defend tom , prostitution, open marriage , passing the buck on personal responsibility then you could have started your own thread correct ? That is what I did right ? Not very respectful imo eyes , but to each his own ....but next time you disrupt a positive thread, maybe know at least know what you are calling people out on and know what you really are speaking on ......JEEZ .....when you posted your tragedies ...I smiled and thought perspective sure is ones own truth .....other than failing a marriage or being cheated on,or having a heart attack [ although I have saved someone that had one and seen several die as well ] ......everything you mentioned are things I see or experienced in a in sometimes weeks time [and I have sat autopsies because one of the managers here worker for the medical examiner ...big wow they are dead ....it is just gross ,and not fun ....nothing to scar anybody] .....I live in a world that is a little more harsh than that ,and ask the guys on the board that know me in real life . I have seen ,done ,or had to do some pretty horrible shit ....and I am so not exaggerating ...but I don't want a medal ....that is the past ...I made the choices to be where I was or do what I did .....all I can do is not let affect who I am today , try to be better and smarter everyday , and to continue to help , support , and educate others ......I bet when my friends in real life read your post , they will smile , and say if the guy only knew who is talking to ....lol ......I am sorry for all you have been through .....because your pain is all that you can experience or care about because of the hurt you carry in you .


I guess I am just amazed you brought your posts here and attitude based on ego , judgement , and hurt here in such a positive thread when you really are a helpful person that is very bright . I am sorry marriage doesn't make you happy and full fill like you had hoped ......most people fail in marriage ....because like you, they decide other things are more important to them . The whole point of this thread that you seemed not grasp, is that was your relationship , family , and the ability to give love is the most important thing you can have .......and that if you don't make that your number one priority everyday and work on it ......then you will lose you what you have plain and simple .....If you think money makes you happy, then boy I feel bad for you at the end of your life .[ and I think you have said your self that you may only have like 5 yrs left ? ] Because money give you choices and does make things easier .....but it doesn't love , connect , heal , or care about you[ you must not no many famous people huh?] ....sorry pal , if you haven't learned from your first marriage ,then expect similar results .....women need love , affection , attention everyday for them not to disconnect ,they need to feel most important and accepted for who they are .....when they are not, they find someone else that makes them feel that way eventually ....if you can't see that .....your choice .....your perspective ....but this thread was about appreciating what you have ....my envy of happy long term relationships and the my respect for the work that they take ....and my reminder of what I have learned , seen , and failed at so my friends here stay aware of the effort it takes so they never lose the blessing that they have .........And Maldorf ...., you honestly ruined the great positive flow here and the message of the thread here by posting something that had nothing to do with this what so ever ......you could have even posted your thoughts on life support and I would have just read what you had to say ......But sorry pal .....if you don't see your mistake here ......oh well .....on ward and upward .....I am done posting on this thread as it has been destroyed ......to infinity and beyond ....I am out !!!!
 
Great to see you posting again Iabadman been a while. Well for me also the Army has kept me moving so much and messed up so much that I have not been on the boards as much as I would like to be either.

Hope you start posting more and I am trying to get online more these days as well. Things have changed so much over the years on here. I am just glad to see some familiar people still on here.

Your post hit home even as we speak going through some issues of always putting others first and getting burned. Seems girls now days dont appreciate us nice guys. But hey there loss. Well enough of that whinny stuff. Talk to you later man..hang in there if you need to talk PM me might not have all the answers or none but can listen..MM
 
I just read this today. Great post, Jason.

Not sure what happened to my TJ thread ...I take maybe that I was getting bashed ....lol ...and my boy was looking out for me ...ha ha ...but this was a post that I thought should go out to BIG Whimp and my married friends here ....not looking for drama or to fight the world here .....maybe chef pm what happened ....


Hella of a post big wimp .....[ kind of like your screen name .....mine was a joke as well ......mine screen name was a joke that me and a former girlfriend made up after reading the boards for awhile ....it is totally meant to be sarcastic ...if Big A and the mods would let me change it ....I so would do it in a min ......My name is Jason .....glad to meet you .....I liked your post a lot ]

As far as my married friends go .....I envy you all .....relationships are never easy ......but real love .....where you do for each other ....put each other first ....and make each other bette, is something that I thought I found , but lost recently . Cherish what you have my friends .....the grass is never greener ...relationships and love take understanding and work .[ I was willing , my partner was not unfortunately ] Think about this .....you want to build your body so you research things and put lots of effort into it right ?....Why would you not want to do the same when it comes to love and relationships ? What will be more worth it as the yrs pass by .....? Cherish your wives and families guys ....put in time to learn ,grow , and be a better partner everyday .....if you can't spend 15 min learning a day about how to be a better friend . lover , and partner you are really doing yourself a disservice . Focus and endurance is what is takes to realize your talent .....and that is what it takes to keep a relationship great . If you think good enough or that things are fine you may want to think again .....70 - 80 % of relationships fail with in 8 -10 % and 25% of women cheat ......value what you have guys ....don't be lazy ...fight everyday for love ......it takes a real man to see this and understand how amazing sharing your life with someone can be.....


Also , please note in my world you see it all ....open marriages , swingers , guys that cheat ect......the one thing I will say having been witness to this for many yrs ........it is all empty bs that makes people unhappy in the end .....people just trying to numb themselves and justifying themselves for doing so ....[ when I was younger and single .....I was a bull in the swinger scene for a few couples and quite a few parties ....for those that don't know ...a bull, is hot guy .....usually younger and well endowed that fucks the wives of guys that get off and that shit.....all these couples claimed how happy they were ......yeah rt ....I saw tons of drugs use ...cheating outside their arrangements ....so much crazy bs I can't even tell you ....I tried to be open minded and see if it was a lifestyle that I could get into .many top 90s bbers were in the scene too ...I was young ...liked fucking lots of women at the time ect.......but after awhile it repulsed me ....the denial was insane ..and it just wasn't for me .....don't get me wrong ,there are nice people in all level of that scene as well as other adult endeavors ......they just aren't seeing the deeper picture and how they are really just hurting themselves or others .....]


Most of the richest people I know have the emptiest lives [ this goes for many professional athletes I have known as well ] ...instead of looking for real human connection and value .....they are constantly looking for empty pleasures or new conquests .....

Life is about love , connection , appreciation and feeling like you matter ......if you think busting a nut in some stranger is going to help you with any of that ......I beg to different .....just like rec drugs or alcohol .....it will never be enough .....if you can't look at you wife when she is 70 and find beauty as well as amazing pleasure, then you truly are missing out .....I love young women ....I am very attracted to them ....the love of my love was way younger ....I have been with more women than any one man I know that isn't famous or that is into hookers .....yet, I would kill just to make love to make ex for the rest of my life ......4 yrs was not nearly enough ......I understand with life and kids it is tough to stay connected and keep the passion alive ...but work at it guys ....keep learning all the time ...and fight for what you got ......take it from the 42 yr old guy that has been around and lived on the dark side of life ,not the opinion /judgment side...when I give advice it is real talk .from mistakes I have made , things I have leanred , or personally observed time and time again [ as I have got older the less that I realize that I know ..and the more I want to save people from from making my mistakes or the mistakes I seen others make ]....I am a bright guy ...and try be a better man every day ....yet ,here I am alone because I couldn't make things work with the one great love of my life despite my effort and knowledge ....


So married guys .....I envy you ....I respect what you have ....value it ......stay connected and fight to better everyday .....the odds are against you ....people quit and don't value each other like they once did ....so stay sharp ....and remember there is nothing pretty about the emptiness [even it seems like it ]......stay beautiful and loving ......my best to you all and I hope you all beat the odds ......it can be done .....so work hard to beat them til your last breath........

It is good to hear words of wisdom from someone who has first hand knowlegde of that scene. I am a horny bastard, so it is good that I have not acted on a lot of the stuff I think about! lol.

It REALLY sucks that things didn't work out with your girl. I am sorry about that.:(
 
Honestly, I think the entire T.O.M. situation was an overreaction, and I do believe that comparing him to a child molester was out of line. That is not saying that T.O.M.'s forum actions and posting of pictures were acceptable, they weren't.

I don't respect T.O.M. and I don't envy him at all other then the fact that he is still having regular sex and exercising regularly at his age. I think that what he's doing is not anything to be proud of...at the same time I won't blame him for the way things are.

All of the posts in here appear to be based on on anecdotal evidence and opinion, which is fine, but things are stated as sure fire "facts" in either direction which is a bit short sighted if you ask me. I'd love to see some more facts referenced than simply saying things like "Open your eyes," or "I learned in school that yada yada yada."

I do have a question. Iabadman, why do you envy married men so much? You seem to idealize marriage and make it out to be this problem solving beacon of hope with those who are not a part of it doomed to a life of sorrow. I can tell you that this is very shortsighted. There is no cure-all, there is no unifying factor that provides happiness and locks out all despair, or even the majority of it. True happiness takes an all encompassing personal approach that factors in things like Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
 
It takes alot of f'n up and then growing up before we figure it out huh!

So true. Like a lot of guys on hear, I lived a bit of a wild life. I have settled down a lot in the last few years. I'm 47, been with the same woman for 2 1/2 years now. Been married, been single, had GF's 1/2 my age, done the swingers thing, strip club thing, Craig's list thing. etc. I did have some fun along the way, and still do here and there. Lucky to have a very cool, and fun woman in my life. Hell yea I look at everything, and she looks with me. 99% of the time thats all it is a look. I have learned that the grass is never greener, and you have someone good in your life who loves you ? Don't let that go easily because they don't come along very often.:D
 
This is a good question......lol but. You are making a huge assumption from my envy of happy healthy marriage .and you obviously being educated should realize that assumption and judgement are fatal flaws in most people that lead to misscommunication, divsion, and resentment. I never said anything about marriage being a holy grail of happiness, not once..... i did say if you found a life partner to share your life with then i envy it. That you should cherish it. And that it takes focus and endurance every day to makr long term relationships work and to keep deeply connected in that situation. I find it funny when guys like you or maldorf try to attack or call me out on things that i clearly never said .yet you come at me with an angry almost attacking tone? For what ?being positive, envious, and supportive of healthy long term happy partnerships ? Strange.... but i guess my admiration strikes a nerve with you. I m sorry... .but seriously do you read my posts at all? Do you read my life support thread? Where are we talking about happiness here on a personal level? And if you to talk freshman level psychology.... ..bring maslow and your thoughts to the thread at least... lol.... bring your thoughts and ideas over there.... .i bet i d agree with most of them.... ha ha... i love talking about the subject of happiness...... lol..... coming at me saying that i think a relationship has anything to do with personal happiness is so funny and far off base i am think you need to know who you are talking to. Ha ha..... you do realize i have spent 20 yrs studying that subject? That i am writing a book on finding peace, love, and happiness within yourself...... and i spend hours everyday on this project.... i m not saying i m some guru or a master at all..... .in fact the more i live and learn i seem to think the opposite .....but through my journey i have discovered some knowledge, skills, and personal truths. And with that being said ,i think what i have to share has some value to others, hence why i am writing a book.......... ...please come over to life support if you what to be positive and share your philosophical ideals ......i d more than welcome it in fact .i try to learn from any positive perspectives i come across.

I just find it amazing that to bright guys like you and maldorf come into a positive thread like this that had lots of great responses and bring up tom. Then even worse come at me assuming, judgmental ,and totally not comprehending anything i said or the point of the thread. I m not sure the cause for the anger...... but i m sorry for clearly rubbing you the wrong way ........ ....i can only be the best me i can. If that doesn't make even body think i am cool. I can live with that.


One last thing........... .i m not married and never have been. I also dont have children either. So if you think i think being in relationship has anything to with my happiness you clearly are mistaken. I dont need to settle........ until i find a partner that i trust, makes me a better, and i feel a connection that makes that type of commitment sustainable. I studied relationships quite a bit. I interviewed dozens of successful couples and observed others. Yet i just recently failed at the one relationship i have ever had in which i wanted marriage and children with. I love this girl with all that i am. Yet it wasnt enough. She was much younger and difference in maturity was too much in the end . It was an intense, and amazing 4 yrs. I dont regret anything. But i do envy people that don't quit on each other,value the partnership of marriage, and the devotion making another happier as well as better for the duration of ones life........ if you that i am a lame for thinking that must be pretty amazing and is to be admired then so be it........... unlike negative pessimists .....i believe love conquers all........ ........you being a student of happiness....... should know of all things that perception is your truth ......:)
 
I m sorry for my misspellings and jumbled post above.... .i wont be near a computer til tues night... so typing that on my phone is hell.... lol.. ..have a gd few days my friends... once again sorry
 

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