Trying to process this - involves a newborn baby

[renewlyf]

the piece of shit getting high everyday all you guys are condoning his shit

call child protective services on this prick and make his life hell

he's a pile of shit thats able to work and make money and provide, there is labor ready outfits everywhere in the usa, even mexicans on the corner make 14-16 dollars an hour so this faggot has no excuses

I have no idea if it's everyday!!
Talked to my wife at lunch and we are planning on going to visit them Saturday. I will report back as to what happens. The last thing anyone wants is to take a baby away from it's parents and put it into the system.

When the fuck did you go visit the situation?

You think calling CPS and absolving him of his responsibilities as a father will only make his life hell? AGAIN, another individual who probably knows nothing of how well the "system" works.

aaaaannnnddd your post reeks of bigoted homophobia. Your probably an outstanding father figure.

I understand this issue can evoke some passionate responses.
Let's keep it on a postitive level toward each other, please!

 

[livinglovinglearning]

I have no idea if it's everyday!!
Talked to my wife at lunch and we are planning on going to visit them Saturday. I will report back as to what happens. The last thing anyone wants is to take a baby away from it's parents and put it into the system.




I understand this issue can evoke some passionate responses.
Let's keep it on a postitive level toward each other, please!

Sorry for the inappropriate reply on your thread, a serious one at that. Again, the world is blessed to have such people as you and your wife. Hopefully, showing them how much you both care about the situation, will show him that he should be taking the birth of his child more seriously. A lot of people have never had positive male influences in their lives, and all they need is a chance to see what a REAL man behaves like.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it
-Proverbs 22:6"

 

[renewlyf]

Sorry for the inappropriate reply on your thread, a serious one at that. Again, the world is blessed to have such people as you and your wife. Hopefully, showing them how much you both care about the situation, will show him that he should be taking the birth of his child more seriously. A lot of people have never had positive male influences in their lives, and all they need is a chance to see what a REAL man behaves like.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it
-Proverbs 22:6"[/QUOTE]

Now that's the kind of positive stuff I like to see!

 

[maldorf]

I would contact child protective services. You could be annonymous and explain the situation to them. They deal with this day in and day out and could give you some idea as to what could and should be done. Based on your posts you seem like a smart person and will know what to do when all the information is gathered. I know many of us here dabble on the otherside of the line, but i would also like to think many of us would give up anything for the wellbeing of our newborn baby. Not only is this babys care affected, but its health. In my opinion there is no way this is ok or fair to that little baby.

I agree. Let CPS take care of it, they are professionals and trained to deal with this shit. If its nothing to be concerned about they will make that determination. If the family is in a true crisis then they will get the help they need to straighten out. If they dont straighten out then the baby willl have to go to a family member or foster care. The parents have rights and the law will be sure that if they become more responsible later they can get custody back.

You might not only be saving the life of the baby, but you might also really help out the parents too. I think you have no choice other than contact CPS.

Before I would make the call though, I think I would make one last visit to their home and see if the same conditions are present the 2nd time too. Maybe you just caught them on a bad day, im trying to consider every possibility even though remote! Cant hurt to go over one more time, bring some more baby goods. It sounds like they may be neglecting the baby and spending money on drugs instead, so if you withdraw your help youre only really punishing the baby and not the parents. The parents are going to buy their drugs no matter what you do.

 

[Gunsmith]

When the fuck did you go visit the situation?

You think calling CPS and absolving him of his responsibilities as a father will only make his life hell? AGAIN, another individual who probably knows nothing of how well the "system" works.

aaaaannnnddd your post reeks of bigoted homophobia. Your probably an outstanding father figure.

I have to admit my first knee jerk reaction was not a nice one , id set his ass on fire and stomp him out with an ice skake if i thought i could get away with it.

I understand incbb's view , maybe a he used poor choice of words but he obviuosly has a strng feeling in this matter and nobody can fault him for that. Like it was mentioned , maybe it was a very isolated instance , maybe not.

renewlyf has a great mindset and strong faith , that alone will get you though most anything , im certain he is not gonna jst drop it in CPS hands and walk away

 

[NewbreedGRMN]

it really is as simple as this...
mind your own business.

you have a heart, i can tell by the posts... but you dont need/want to be gettin into peoples business. take this advice

 

[incbb]

When the fuck did you go visit the situation?

You think calling CPS and absolving him of his responsibilities as a father will only make his life hell? AGAIN, another individual who probably knows nothing of how well the "system" works.

aaaaannnnddd your post reeks of bigoted homophobia. Your probably an outstanding father figure.

visit what situation? the pile of shit deserves what coming to him

its a mans INSTINCT to protect his own capt obvious

This dickhead is walking around tough and jolly puffing blunts and living the stoned relaxed life

let this faggot go without weed for a few days and watch his pathetic life crumble

and i agree with above, just mind your own buisness and leave this situation alone

 

[livinglovinglearning]

visit what situation? the pile of shit deserves what coming to him

its a mans INSTINCT to protect his own capt obvious

This dickhead is walking around tough and jolly puffing blunts and living the stoned relaxed life

let this faggot go without weed for a few days and watch his pathetic life crumble

and i agree with above, just mind your own buisness and leave this situation alone

Pot meet kettle. DUDE, you move illicit substances! Regardless if they are recreational or PED's. You'd surely have no qualms movings AAS without the proper post cycle or anxillaries correct? How can you take the moral high ground? Who the heck crumbles without marijuana? They didn't say they walked in a saw the dude layed out with a syringe in his arm and a pile of blow and H on the table.

It's worth getting violent over, but then it's mind your own business? What would you know about protecting anything, I GAURANTEE I've saved more American lives in one hectic day in Mosul than you have in a lifetime. So don't tell me what being a man is.

The issue is your making a lot of assumptions and judgement calls without every stepping foot on the ground. Kinda like a lot of POGUE's do in the rear. What needs to happen, is you need to lower your doses, and get laid.

Renewlyf, I apologize in advance for responding to this post, but it was too much. I'll leave your thread alone, and I'll pray that the situation turns out for the best, for both the child and his parents.

 

[Krunkkid13]

Lots of respect to renewlyf. Anyways I read though this whole thread and then thought about it for awhile. I don't know what I would do but there are no good options you confronted the dad it might open u up to legal trouble ie assault charges or it might help most likely it won't since he should already know better. Second you can call CPS which can lead to the child being taken away which may put it in a worse situation. The third option is stay calm talk to the guy and try to help him out while continuously assessing the situation. I think this is probably your best bet. Bring the word to him. It may take a bit but I can tell you have the lord in your heart so use what is in you to help him. Sorry for getting religious but sometimes all it takes is someone whom is a believer to steer someone who isn't in the right direction. Good luck man

 

[richiec]

Sorry for the inappropriate reply on your thread, a serious one at that. Again, the world is blessed to have such people as you and your wife. Hopefully, showing them how much you both care about the situation, will show him that he should be taking the birth of his child more seriously. A lot of people have never had positive male influences in their lives, and all they need is a chance to see what a REAL man behaves like.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it
-Proverbs 22:6"

Please don't use profanity in one post and then quote the Bible in the next. You do have the ability to edit your posts before you post them. Posting in anger does no good.

I do agree with what you're saying, the "system" fails 95% of the time. It would be fantastic if someone would step up and adopt this child and give it a chance. I don't always agree with separating a child from its parents, but these parents don't seem fit and/or ready to raise a child. There are millions of people that will give this child a fighting chance at life

 

[renewlyf]

visit what situation? the pile of shit deserves what coming to him

its a mans INSTINCT to protect his own capt obvious

This dickhead is walking around tough and jolly puffing blunts and living the stoned relaxed life

let this faggot go without weed for a few days and watch his pathetic life crumble

and i agree with above, just mind your own buisness and leave this situation alone

incbb - I understand your anger, I really do but please tone it down. It's not constructive.
When my wife first told me the situation I instantly saw red and said well screw them they don't deserve our help (our my wife is the one who took it upon herself to bring them some stuff). After praying about it, the realization that the baby is the main concern here, not the parents, not us or you, the baby. So that is why I made this thread. I thought some input from you would help me figure out what to do. It has! Sorry, looking the other way and pretending it's not my responsibilty is not my answer.

Pot meet kettle. DUDE, you move illicit substances! Regardless if they are recreational or PED's. You'd surely have no qualms movings AAS without the proper post cycle or anxillaries correct? How can you take the moral high ground? Who the heck crumbles without marijuana? They didn't say they walked in a saw the dude layed out with a syringe in his arm and a pile of blow and H on the table.

It's worth getting violent over, but then it's mind your own business? What would you know about protecting anything, I GAURANTEE I've saved more American lives in one hectic day in Mosul than you have in a lifetime. So don't tell me what being a man is.

The issue is your making a lot of assumptions and judgement calls without every stepping foot on the ground. Kinda like a lot of POGUE's do in the rear. What needs to happen, is you need to lower your doses, and get laid.

Renewlyf, I apologize in advance for responding to this post, but it was too much. I'll leave your thread alone, and I'll pray that the situation turns out for the best, for both the child and his parents.

Lx3 - No need to apologize! I welcome your input as this is a bigger issue than I want to handle on my own.

Thank you for your service to this country!!

Lots of respect to renewlyf. Anyways I read though this whole thread and then thought about it for awhile. I don't know what I would do but there are no good options you confronted the dad it might open u up to legal trouble ie assault charges or it might help most likely it won't since he should already know better. Second you can call CPS which can lead to the child being taken away which may put it in a worse situation. The third option is stay calm talk to the guy and try to help him out while continuously assessing the situation. I think this is probably your best bet. Bring the word to him. It may take a bit but I can tell you have the lord in your heart so use what is in you to help him. Sorry for getting religious but sometimes all it takes is someone whom is a believer to steer someone who isn't in the right direction. Good luck man

Kid - You have a winner in option 3! That is exactly what my intentions are.

Never apologize for expressing your spiritual beliefs! Especially to me. I encourage it.

Please don't use profanity in one post and then quote the Bible in the next. You do have the ability to edit your posts before you post them. Posting in anger does no good.

I do agree with what you're saying, the "system" fails 95% of the time. It would be fantastic if someone would step up and adopt this child and give it a chance. I don't always agree with separating a child from its parents, but these parents don't seem fit and/or ready to raise a child. There are millions of people that will give this child a fighting chance at life

richiec - thanks for your comments! I made some assumptions about these kids right off the bat. I based all that on just one incident . The reality is I have not met them, but will this Saturday. Then at least I can say I've seen the situation for myself. I'm praying it is just a matter of adding some of God's love, kindness and wisdom. I'm keeping and open heart and mind about the situation. Lord knows at 24yrs old I wouldn't have been the model parent. Maybe that is why this has been put on my plate.

 

[livinglovinglearning]

Please don't use profanity in one post and then quote the Bible in the next. You do have the ability to edit your posts before you post them. Posting in anger does no good.

I do agree with what you're saying, the "system" fails 95% of the time. It would be fantastic if someone would step up and adopt this child and give it a chance. I don't always agree with separating a child from its parents, but these parents don't seem fit and/or ready to raise a child. There are millions of people that will give this child a fighting chance at life

Aaaaaand Roger. I'll make sure that next time I flip someone off in traffic, or go to a bar I'll skip church that Sunday, because GOD would surely view me as a hypocrite. Getting angry is a Sin, that even our Father is guilty of.

 

[bloodshed]

.Lord knows at 24yrs old I wouldn't have been the model parent. Maybe that is why this has been put on my plate.

This comment is very true. I am in that general age group and this is something that bothers me about my generation. Within 2 years or graduating high school a half a dozen people I knew personally had already had kids (all single parents btw). I then look on Facebook and I see dozens of pictures of them at parties, or edc and similar events, and I start to lose faith in humanity. Of all of them, from what I can see only 1 is fit to raise a child. I've found the vast majority of my generation is too impulsive and doesnt think farther ahead then the next month. From what I've read, these parents fall into that very same category.

 

[SlimyToodleTot]

All you can do is try and help the baby. The foster care system is so overburdened, I don't know if it would help for weed only. We have a newborn at home and my wife won't even drink decaf coffee or eat spicy foods for fear that it will harm the baby through the breastmilk. We just try to sleep enough. I don't know who has time for smoking weed. We were given a lot of stuff from friends and it helps a lot. We are responsible people but knew nothing about babies until having one. If you feel the child is being neglected, then call protective services. But, the right thing to do is just giving them some baby food, bottles, clothes, and maybe a wash bucket. A lot of this stuff can be found at second hand stores. The main thing a baby wants to to be on momma's chest with a full belly. All other material things are irrelevant. Usually doing the right thing is doing all that stuff when no one is looking and there's no pat on the back. Do it just because....

 

[renewlyf]

This comment is very true. I am in that general age group and this is something that bothers me about my generation. Within 2 years or graduating high school a half a dozen people I knew personally had already had kids (all single parents btw). I then look on Facebook and I see dozens of pictures of them at parties, or edc and similar events, and I start to lose faith in humanity. Of all of them, from what I can see only 1 is fit to raise a child. I've found the vast majority of my generation is too impulsive and doesnt think farther ahead then the next month. From what I've read, these parents fall into that very same category.

Yea things have changed for sure! I'm in my mid 40s. I think about how old my parents were when we were born. They seemed to be so responsible.
I never had kids of my own. I was too busy acting like a kid until, well just a few years ago I often wonder what things would have been like if that had happened to me.
Don't lose faith in humanity!! Read the next post

All you can do is try and help the baby. The foster care system is so overburdened, I don't know if it would help for weed only. We have a newborn at home and my wife won't even drink decaf coffee or eat spicy foods for fear that it will harm the baby through the breastmilk. We just try to sleep enough. I don't know who has time for smoking weed. We were given a lot of stuff from friends and it helps a lot. We are responsible people but knew nothing about babies until having one. If you feel the child is being neglected, then call protective services. But, the right thing to do is just giving them some baby food, bottles, clothes, and maybe a wash bucket. A lot of this stuff can be found at second hand stores. The main thing a baby wants to to be on momma's chest with a full belly. All other material things are irrelevant. Usually doing the right thing is doing all that stuff when no one is looking and there's no pat on the back. Do it just because....

Thanks for this post! It is nice to hear the opposite (and positive) side of this subject! Sounds like you're some very loving, caring and responsible parents! There isn't that much that is truly needed outside of love, security, food, water and shelter. Thanks for sharing with us!

 

[bloodshed]

Yea things have changed for sure! I'm in my mid 40s. I think about how old my parents were when we were born. They seemed to be so responsible.
I never had kids of my own. I was too busy acting like a kid until, well just a few years ago I often wonder what things would have been like if that had happened to me.
Don't lose faith in humanity!! Read the next post

I haven't, Sometimes I just hope Social Darwinism could work a little bit faster

But yeah, I am the oldest child in my family and my dad was 38 when I was born and my mom was 31. I do think my dad waited a couple years too many to start, but it is definitely much better than having a kid at 18-19.

 

[livinglovinglearning]

Any updates?

 

[OuchThatHurts]

There is no one correct answer here. There is no "popular opinion". There are as many opinions as there are people. I would simply say to be careful with authorities. If this kid is EVER going to take care of this child properly, he can't do that if he's accused of and/or convicted of a felony offense (which it still is in some places). This is America. You must follow your values (as you said earlier they have changed) and do what you must. Just remember that if we're all going to share this land of ours in peace, we must begin to be tolerant of behavior that WE MAY NOT AGREE WITH and respect peoples' rights to their own liberty. Do what YOU can, and leave the rest up to... whatever (God, life, the universe, etc.).

In this case, however, it's not simply a lifestyle choice by this family but it's illegal and potentially dangerous if used around individuals that require close supervision (like a child). There's the crux. Cigarettes would probably be even more harmful to the child but there's no law saying you can't smoke around your children (or drink). Personally, I feel he and she have the liberty to live their lives as they see fit but conversely, so do you, renewfly. If that means contacting authorities, so be it, but sometimes speaking with friends and family and having a bit of a makeshift intervention can do a lot more good and avoid adding to this young man's RAP sheet.

Not being related to the guy, in fact, having never even met, you also take a risk by getting involved in other ways. For example, let's say this guy get's busted. If it should come to light that you (or someone you know) knew that they were involved in activities that could put themselves or the child at risk and you did nothing, you might get questioned yourself on some level - although doubtful you would be charged with anything. Point is, your name still goes on the report as a witness (or something relative to the crime).

You find yourself in a tough area. If you haven't already taken some type of action or perhaps you opted not to, best wishes to all involved. The baby isn't going anywhere unless both parents agree to it. I've seen junkies stumble away with their kids. Areas with denser population (urban) are far less likely to act than a smaller rural community (which is why I abhor cities).

 

[the cat]

Sometimes, if not oftentimes, doing the right thing is hard and painful. I know you're a man of Faith, so pray for the strength to carry out God's will.

I totally agree.