I'll go ahead and start this out by say, I'm just venting. . . because I don't know what else to do.
Yeah, this is a BB site... wtf am I doing venting life issues here? lol...
Anyways, lately I don't know what's going on. I know I have so many things in my life to be thankful for.
I'm a good looking dude, fit, can talk to women no problem and have no problem pulling women. I probably talk to sometimes 6 or 7 new women a week, and then some weeks I just have no energy to do it.
I have had a lot of shit happen to me over the past few years but I bounce back. Maybe it's catching up? I pretty much don't dwell on the past, but I went from being being very well off to being dead fucking broke and still owing the IRS money. I have a shitty job now making less than 40 a year. But I should be thankful I guess.
I lost my wife during that time, but most of the times I don't think about it. I could have her back if I wanted, but I just know she isn't my soul mate... and it's not because I'm hooking up with new women every week, honestly I would rather be with 1 person than 3 or 4 new ones every week. Most of my guy friends think I'm fucking retarded and always say "Oh man, if I could do what you do! But I can't... I'm married..." lol wtf....
I would consider myself a pretty conscious person, I'm no guru or anything, but I do try to meditate, and even do Yoga. I stopped MMA training about 6 months ago though and that helped keep a little sanity.
********... guess I can be thankful for that too? I just don't know why the fuck I'm so depressed. I've read tons of self help books over the years, tons.
Sometimes just feel lost.
I haven't missed any workouts due to this though, I really do feel centered, gym time is like therapy for me, and sometimes I think about ramping it up to 7 days a week just for that normalcy I feel lol But I'm on MWF split.
Anyways ranting venting I don't know what else to do.
I have ramped up my alcohol intake over the past few weeks from 2x a week to now 5-7.... I don't believe I'm an alcoholic... I have a bottle of wine a night to unwind.
Yeah, this is a BB site... wtf am I doing venting life issues here? lol...
Anyways, lately I don't know what's going on. I know I have so many things in my life to be thankful for.
I'm a good looking dude, fit, can talk to women no problem and have no problem pulling women. I probably talk to sometimes 6 or 7 new women a week, and then some weeks I just have no energy to do it.
I have had a lot of shit happen to me over the past few years but I bounce back. Maybe it's catching up? I pretty much don't dwell on the past, but I went from being being very well off to being dead fucking broke and still owing the IRS money. I have a shitty job now making less than 40 a year. But I should be thankful I guess.
I lost my wife during that time, but most of the times I don't think about it. I could have her back if I wanted, but I just know she isn't my soul mate... and it's not because I'm hooking up with new women every week, honestly I would rather be with 1 person than 3 or 4 new ones every week. Most of my guy friends think I'm fucking retarded and always say "Oh man, if I could do what you do! But I can't... I'm married..." lol wtf....
I would consider myself a pretty conscious person, I'm no guru or anything, but I do try to meditate, and even do Yoga. I stopped MMA training about 6 months ago though and that helped keep a little sanity.
********... guess I can be thankful for that too? I just don't know why the fuck I'm so depressed. I've read tons of self help books over the years, tons.
Sometimes just feel lost.
I haven't missed any workouts due to this though, I really do feel centered, gym time is like therapy for me, and sometimes I think about ramping it up to 7 days a week just for that normalcy I feel lol But I'm on MWF split.
Anyways ranting venting I don't know what else to do.
I have ramped up my alcohol intake over the past few weeks from 2x a week to now 5-7.... I don't believe I'm an alcoholic... I have a bottle of wine a night to unwind.
Last edited by a moderator: