Victim of always wanting more... WTF to do!

[BreitlingGT]

Does anyone ever feel like they are a victim of always wanting more and never being satisfied with what they have and always find themselves looking for a way to get ahead of where they already are or always wanting the bigger better deal? I think my girl has officially got in my head she said she feels bad for me and I starting to believe it my mom even said something to her that she worries cause I want so much and don't seem to settle for just being a normal person...... The things I want and do I do for myself and no one else but why am I like this? Only thing I can think of is that this is me.... I want the best in all aspects of life I think it's just my personality.... Anyone else have this issue?

 

[supernova]

It's okay to want something more for yourself. It's not okay when you have to walk all over people to get it. For me, that is the line.

 

[matt1164]

I'm the same way.

it can be a trait of successful people.

that's why I never married.

 

[warrenpeace]

I'm the same way.

it can be a trait of successful people.

that's why I never married.

What's your definition of "success"? Monetary gain? I know for me personally, if 30 years from now I have a life to reflect on without a wife and family, that would not be a success.

 

[Crowler]

As you get older/wiser you will cope with it easier I believe.

Where you want to get yourself is to where you are happy with what you have be it wife, gf, car, home etc but continue striving for other things.


eg. Be very happy, thankful and grateful for having a 3 bedroom house in the city. BUT you can still strive and think about having a condo on the beach.

Don't let that desire upset or ruin the joy you have with the house and the people you live there with, but let it be a motivator to keep working, saving etc.

Also do NOT let what you have in material things define who you are a person.

It is better to be known as a GREAT helpful kind person than oh yea that is the guy who drives a viper and lives at the beach.

Some of the wealthiest people you would never know it because they are at peace with themselves and have a high level of self confidence. They do not have the need to show off what they have.

Often the guys who show off what they have usually don't have that much imo.

 

[Chipper Jones78]

What's your definition of "success"? Monetary gain? I know for me personally, if 30 years from now I have a life to reflect on without a wife and family, that would not be a success.

Understood.

However, that is your success, a great one at that. Mine would be the same.

BUT....

To each own as they say.

If you can look in the miriror 30 years from now and be genuine with yourself say " I'm happy", then kudos to you. That's all that matters.

We are all going to have regrets in this great life, it's how you deal with those regrets learn from them and turn them into postitives.

Chip

 

[matt1164]

What's your definition of "success"? Monetary gain? I know for me personally, if 30 years from now I have a life to reflect on without a wife and family, that would not be a success.

yes, monetary gain for me. but my thinking is skewed, I didn't have a close family growing up so I never understood the importance of it. My parents were unhappy and always fought about financial issues so I thought having money would equal happiness.

I was wrong.

 

[richiec]

It's in our nature to want more. Look at the difference in generations, we always want more than our parents had, and they wanted more than their parents and so on. Is it a bad thing? Only if it consumes you for you will never be satisfied. There is never enough money, fame, possessions that will makes someone happy because they will want more. Doesn't make you a bad person, just makes sure you don't focus your life on it or life will pass you buy. We work hard to make money and neglect our health, then we spend all the money to try and live longer. We have to enjoy what we have, and shoot for better things, but do it moderately.

 

[718si]

It's in our nature to want more. Look at the difference in generations, we always want more than our parents had, and they wanted more than their parents and so on. Is it a bad thing? Only if it consumes you for you will never be satisfied. There is never enough money, fame, possessions that will makes someone happy because they will want more. Doesn't make you a bad person, just makes sure you don't focus your life on it or life will pass you buy. We work hard to make money and neglect our health, then we spend all the money to try and live longer. We have to enjoy what we have, and shoot for better things, but do it moderately.

Reminds me of the story about the investment banker and the fisherman...

"Some of you have probably heard this story before. It contains a lesson well worth considering.

An investment banker stood at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

The banker then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The fisherman said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The banker then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The investor scoffed, “I am an Ivy League MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. “The investor continued, “And instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would then sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution! You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The fisherman asked, “But how long will this all take?”

To which the banker replied, “Perhaps 15 to 20 years.”

“But what then?” asked the fisherman.

The banker laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”

“Millions. Okay, then what?” wondered the fisherman.

To which the investment banker replied, “Then you would retire. You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

 

[AlphaMaleDawg]

of course

 

[BreitlingGT]

Well yes money is success achieving personal goals is as well.... I guess success to me is living the life style you want to live and being comfortable in it and not living outside of your means. If in 30 years I don't have a family to reflect upon ya that prob won't be good but considering I'm 24 I have quite a while.

 

[richiec]

718si, I own an insurance agency and have had people tell me that I need to be working more days, longer hours etc. I laugh because these are the same people that say they wish they had spent more time with their families and less time at work. Someone posted a thread about what elderly people said about what they would change. I live a "meager" life, below my means. Would it be nice to make more money, of course. Would I rather make more money or spend more time with my 11 month old son? My family means more to me than my job does. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and my customers, but my family is more important to me than any of it. I appreciate the "finer things in life", but if you have nobody to share them with, what good are they (IMO)

 

[richiec]

Well yes money is success achieving personal goals is as well.... I guess success to me is living the life style you want to live and being comfortable in it and not living outside of your means. If in 30 years I don't have a family to reflect upon ya that prob won't be good but considering I'm 24 I have quite a while.

Not necessarily, tomorrow is never promised my man

 

[HVYW8]

More money = more problems! Whatever way you look at it. It all depends on what makes you happy. That goes career wise, health wise, gear wise, etc. There are always repercussions for anything depending on how you handle it.

 

[BreitlingGT]

I grew up with great parents they had me at 37 my parents were finically stable my dad was a biochemical engineer for Sunoco and NERC and ended his career at Sunoco in senior management and administration. My parents always wanted the best for me and provided me with all of the opportunities and amenities of going to the best schools leaving college debt free my dad was always at every sporting event and very supportive. It's some peoples goal to try to do better then there parents and I am on track but always want more..... My parents are very reserved drive nice cars and spend very moderately own 3 homes and don't live outside there means but I feel living this life style growing up has forced me to push and push and push and I'm ok with it I just wonder if I'll ever be happy with what I have..... It's like a disease!

 

[triathloncoach]

When I was your age. My mantra was a quote by Oscar Wilde - The world belongs to the discontented. (Ron, I looked it up after I wrote it. I originally wrote from memory "Life belons....) Drats to all you literate people!!

And now 20 plus years later another quote summarizes my life's experience from the choices I made.

He that is discontented in one place will seldom be content in another.
Aesop

Its a virtue to work hard towards you goals. But to be happy and content you need to eventually, if not sooner, appreciate where you are at. Chasing the bright lights forever often ends with the cruelest word. Regret.

You posted, asking for advice, so here is my assesment. Valuing Barbie Doll Cougars, fancy watches, fancy cars and bling is a hard life. It can wear you out and leave you angry. I have wealthy friends who are in their 50s having affairs with 20 something year old girls. Driving Porsches. Multiple rolexs, beach houses. They are highly educated, exquisitely professional. I think they look like fools. They are both miserable and I haven't a clue why. Great kids, beautiful wives of their approximate age, highly respected professions, worth several million. One, who is 52, just had a break down and he is on all kinds of heavy hitting pyschotropic meds.

Brietling, it appears to me that you value the attention of others too much for your own good. You aren't a rock star. And speaking of rock stars, everyone's fantasy life, how many of them drift through their days in a drug induced haze of misery and too often, premature death.

Desire is the root of all sufferring. Confucius? And all you do is desire.

Hey, I am often completely wrong. But you asked for opinions. I have seen a lot of different things.

My happiest friend doesn't have much of the fancy flash. We were college roomates that began in 1981. His life does not appeal to me. But he is very happy with what he has, in a Norman Rockwell way. He slam dunks me in the challenge of living a good life. And openly laughs at some of the things me and my other friends do. And he was a full scholarship linebacker at my college, with tons of offers to play at some big time schools. Smart, attractive, funny, he could have been a playa. He is a better man than most to put it mildly.

 

[BreitlingGT]

The cougar claimed me didn't chase her since day 1.... The multiple fancy watches..... gifts from the cougar and one from my pops for college graduation.....Fancy cars.. Yes that's my downfall.... I drive a Pontiac to work everyday and all around the city.... Yes I ordered a C63 Mercades but thats something that makes me happy and I'll enjoy it I worked for it.... I get what your saying bro I watch everyday my girls friends life's and marriages explode and money just go to waste and these people are miserable I def don't want to end up like that but I feel like I won't be happy until I reach a place where I feel I am successful and beyond comfortable finically.... I understand your saying I value the finer things in life too much but what am I supposed to do those are the things I like? I don't want to become someone I'm not.... I do feel tho from hanging with the older crowd that I work with and that my gf is friends with it has forced some pressure upon me to step it up which has been positive enforcement as well as negative as I prob am pushing myself to hard and racing too fast and prob should slow down and try to regain composure.... For about a three month window my girl and I split up I hung with people my own age I found myself on top finically and was one of the most successful people within my age group... Soon as I started hanging with her again I felt so inadequate finically she doesn't take my money and she actually helps me save and makes me choose smarter investment options. I guess we just go to dinner and hang with people that make 50 to 100k a month.... I guess that would make anyone feel out of there league she doesn't expect me to make that and thinks I'm doing awesome I guess I just impose this stress upon myself.

 

[matt1164]

you're 26, making a good living, you got some muscles and a good looking gf.

don't be worrying about this stuff too much right now.

just remember my motto.

life is a sprint, first one to the end wins. jk

 

[BreitlingGT]

When I was your age. My mantra was a quote by Oscar Wilde - The world belongs to the discontented. (Ron, I looked it up after I wrote it. I originally wrote from memory "Life belons....) Drats to all you literate people!!

And now 20 plus years later another quote summarizes my life's experience from the choices I made.

He that is discontented in one place will seldom be content in another.
Aesop

Its a virtue to work hard towards you goals. But to be happy and content you need to eventually, if not sooner, appreciate where you are at. Chasing the bright lights forever often ends with the cruelest word. Regret.

You posted, asking for advice, so here is my assesment. Valuing Barbie Doll Cougars, fancy watches, fancy cars and bling is a hard life. It can wear you out and leave you angry. I have wealthy friends who are in their 50s having affairs with 20 something year old girls. Driving Porsches. Multiple rolexs, beach houses. They are highly educated, exquisitely professional. I think they look like fools. They are both miserable and I haven't a clue why. Great kids, beautiful wives of their approximate age, highly respected professions, worth several million. One, who is 52, just had a break down and he is on all kinds of heavy hitting pyschotropic meds.

Brietling, it appears to me that you value the attention of others too much for your own good. You aren't a rock star. And speaking of rock stars, everyone's fantasy life, how many of them drift through their days in a drug induced haze of misery and too often, premature death.

Desire is the root of all sufferring. Confucius? And all you do is desire.

Hey, I am often completely wrong. But you asked for opinions. I have seen a lot of different things.

My happiest friend doesn't have much of the fancy flash. We were college roomates that began in 1981. His life does not appeal to me. But he is very happy with what he has, in a Norman Rockwell way. He slam dunks me in the challenge of living a good life. And openly laughs at some of the things me and my other friends do. And he was a full scholarship linebacker at my college, with tons of offers to play at some big time schools. Smart, attractive, funny, he could have been a playa. He is a better man than most to put it mildly.

I agree with your last comment and have two friends just like that one is a retired pitcher for Atlanta Braves he was married has two beautiful girls and years ago before his wife cheated on him and he has been single for years.... This guy is the happiest nicest guy ever very welcoming to any type of people.... He has a beac house in OMCD near me and we became good friends he comes out with us to Secrets and doesn't ball out and announce how is to every girl he meets he has a quite interesting approach tells girls he just got a job at home depot as a greeter and he lives with his 86 year old mo in her basement..... If they walk away he isn't interested.... They never find out who he really is unless they can look past the fact that he "lives with his mom and works as a greeter" if they make it back to his 2 million dollar condo on the beach and happen to see little baseball cards and other memorable things from his career around the house.... I really respect his humbleness and hope to get there one day but I feel he is that way because he is happy he isn't out to prove anything to anyone and has all he needs.

 

[718si]

Aspirations are great. Spending time with those further along any given track (fortune, fame, etc...) brings to light what is possible, and is healthy if you can use it as motivation.

Like everything in life, too much of anything can potentially turn a positive into a negative.

For you to ask the question indicates an imbalance... You can rationalize your thoughts, but lack true peace and harmony on the inside.

A simple but effective way to restore this balance would be to find an outlet where you can "give" to others less fortunate... Doesn't have to be money - in fact I believe that providing the less fortunate with a display of compassion and selflessness is exponentially more valuable to one's own soul. Not to say that donating money isn't a good thing - money is needed to help many.

For self enrichment, however, I believe either volunteering, mentoring, or coaching (all things allowing true connection with other, and a firsthand view of actual changes) are things anyone can benefit from spirituality.