Washed up powerlifter turned bodybuilder

[Josefein421]

I had a log last year when I was dieting hard for a photoshoot. Got in great shape and learned a ton along the way. I missed powerlifting and went back to it along with some other major changes in life. Leaving bedside care to work in academia full time, finally getting divorced, reconnected with an old acquaintance and almost a year into the kind of a relationship I never thought I'd have. I am 42 and sometimes feel old and regret time lost and other times I feel so grateful for all the ups and downs (and there has been plenty...) that have lead me here. It hasn't been easy but it has been worth it.

Powerlifting on the other hand doesn't love me much anymore. I have aches and pains at times but nothing terrible other than I can't straight bar squat with my shoulder. But it is more the mental/CNS fatigue of the heavy stuff all the time. The grind of walking in and thinking of that heavy double and just not wanting to do it. I need to be much more mindful of recovery I have found. Similar I guess to how I have read guys get away from DC/Progressive Overload (which I also really loved) for a more volume based approach as older. Big Paul is one I have read say it. Luki has mentioned it. So with that I have missed bodybuilding training and regiment.

I had talked to John Meadows a few times when he was alive and enjoyed the contrast of Mountain Dog training to powerlifting and so I am going to run Creeping Death. I have attached a pic of the diet I will run. At least 2 weeks of this to get a baseline before any changes. The template I got from a coach I worked with but the diet is all me. PEDs will be just the 250/wk of test for 2 more weeks. I just got bloods done and they are all great except low HDL which is always the case. Coronary CT was negative. Echo showed EF 55% with LV hypertrophy suggested as "athletes heart". I take 100mg losartan daily for BP. Keeps me mid 120-130s. I will go to cardiology for more management if it creeps. Im 218.8 this morning down from 224 recently. I have a feint outline of abs but think a good 6-8 weeks and I will dial in real nice.

Arms today...

4 sets
V pressdown
s/s
KB curl

3 sets
Overhead extension
s/s
Barbell curl

2 sets
JM press
s/s
Hammer curl

Hanging leg raise 2 sets
GHR sit ups 2 sets

Short rest. Moved quick. Volume is down just a touch because I was away from training and diet for about 7-9 days with a family emergency and haven't done biceps directly in a bit. Don't want to be painfully sore.

 

[Josefein421]

Back/calves and HIIT

Tbar row 3x10 with double drop last set
Rack chin 10,8,6
S/s
Wide cable row 10,8,6
Stretchers 2x15
Banded hyperextension 2x15
Seated calf raise 4x10
Assault bike 15/45x6

Fuck me. Some observations
- My cardio sucks. Fuck I was gassed. Like seeing stars on the assault bike. Did 6 instead of 8. I need to work up
- Stretchers are a great exercise. JM was ahead of his time. Like the seated incl 1 arm pulldown everyone loved but it’s standing w a leg bracing the cable seat and a v handle.
- Calves were the first time in 6 months. Prob be crippled tomorrow
- Troponin ATP is legit. Felt the focus but 300mg caffeine is too much for me. Going to take half dose next time
- Zero interest in eating after these hard workouts. Switched shake to pwo and chicken to before bed
- Too much cream of rice. Going to make breakfast sourdough bread

 

[Josefein421]

Took a trip to visit a friend and trained a their gym.

Chest/Shoulders
Arsenal standing press 3x8
Hammer incl press 12,10,8+ double drop
Pec deck 2x15
Machine lateral 15,12,10
S/s
Rev pec deck 3x20
S/s
Seated db lateral partial 3x10

Moved quick. Took an hour. Fun. Different than all the heavy doubles/triples I’ve been doing. Was only eating 4-5x a day so back to six feel like I’m eating a ton even though calories are 2800-3200 only. Def glad to take this week and next to adjust and get in the groove. Surprisingly not sore in biceps or calves like I thought I might be.

 

[Josefein421]

Legs
incline calf raise 6x8 (30sec rest) 1x15
seated leg curl 12,10,8 double drop set
leg extension 20,15,12
hack squat 1.5 3x8
RDL 2x12

Doesn't look like much but quads were smoked. Just not used to the type of training. Otherwise I'd have done another quad exercise.

 

[Josefein421]

Trained with a buddy yesterday. Drove an hour to a gym near him. It was cool. Some different equipment.

Upper pump
arsenal incl 3x8
hammer flat 2x10 1x20
arsenal lateral raise 25,20,15
dual cable pulldown 3x15
cyber 1 arm pulldown 2x15
HIIT 15/45x6

 

[Josefein421]

Sunday. New week. Feeling blah. Some work issues I don't feel like delving into even though I kinda want to vent/rant lol. But it has caused more stress and trauma than anything in my life. I was wronged. And I didn't deserve it. And now I am trying my best. I will leave it at that for the moment.

Compliance with diet was maybe 75% last week. Mostly because I missed a meal a few times. Goes to show when you think youre eating a lot chances are when you add it up most times you aren't. I will post it up tomorrow but just gonna drop 400cals or so a day.

Goal this week is to get 100% on plan with diet, training and cardio, journal each day, read 25 pages each day, be up at 6am each day and in bed by 10pm. Sounds silly and simple but beneath the surface I am just trying to hold it together and weather the storm. I am hoping the increased time and energy on the gym to help with that.

 

[Prowrestler]

Following this

 

[Josefein421]

Just posted in main forum with my life update. I am trying really hard to stay on point in the gym and diet and use that as a coping mechanism but it has been hard. I have missed meals, slept too much, ate cake. Just feel lost and hoping for something. anyway...

Yesterday was good.
Smith incline 3x6 double drop last set
Newtech flat machine press 1x12 1x12rp
seated Newtech lateral 25,20,15+partials
rev pec deck 25,20,15
rope pressdown 20,15,12
dip machine 15,11
machine crunch 3x12
HIIT 15/45x7

The 25,20,15 type sets are pumpier moves that I want some volume on and to push close to or at failure but dont want to drop weight. New thing I am trying. Trying to find the best balance between volume and intensity and keeping my CNS fresh. At 42 I can't handle the JP PPL or DC stuff anymore. I mean I can and it is fun to me but I have trouble driving up the intensity for those do or die log book sets after 6-7 sets. I overtrain and burn out quick it seems.

Cardio this morning outside. Did some cleaning and cooking. Physically I feel good. Mentally I feel on the verge of collapse.

 

[Prowrestler]

Just posted in main forum with my life update. I am trying really hard to stay on point in the gym and diet and use that as a coping mechanism but it has been hard. I have missed meals, slept too much, ate cake. Just feel lost and hoping for something. anyway...

Yesterday was good.
Smith incline 3x6 double drop last set
Newtech flat machine press 1x12 1x12rp
seated Newtech lateral 25,20,15+partials
rev pec deck 25,20,15
rope pressdown 20,15,12
dip machine 15,11
machine crunch 3x12
HIIT 15/45x7

The 25,20,15 type sets are pumpier moves that I want some volume on and to push close to or at failure but dont want to drop weight. New thing I am trying. Trying to find the best balance between volume and intensity and keeping my CNS fresh. At 42 I can't handle the JP PPL or DC stuff anymore. I mean I can and it is fun to me but I have trouble driving up the intensity for those do or die log book sets after 6-7 sets. I overtrain and burn out quick it seems.

Cardio this morning outside. Did some cleaning and cooking. Physically I feel good. Mentally I feel on the verge of collapse.

Tough times don’t last brother. Use the gym as therapy. Keep grinding!!

 

[Josefein421]

Tough times don’t last brother. Use the gym as therapy. Keep grinding!!

I appreciate that. I saw an employment lawyer today and he wants to file suit. Just that made me feel better regardless of the outcome. Like I feel heard and that someone else acknowledges "Yeah thats fucked up!"

 

[Josefein421]

These bodybuilding leg days are tough lol. And it wasn't even full blown.

Incl calves 25,20,15,10+partials
lying leg curl 8,8,8+Cris Pause (RP with a drop set after)
leg extension 25,20,15
Tru squat 12,8,6
Leg press widowmaker x30
DB RDL 12,10

Day off tomorrow. Sleep was better last night. No nightmares for the first time in 3 weeks.

 

[Josefein421]

Arms yesterday. Im feeling good. This 2 weeks of adjusting to a plan is finally clicking. Going to ride it out another week before any changes.

Face away cable curl 3x15
Machine preacher 1 rp set >20 reps
Machine incl curl 20,15,12
V pressdown 25,20,15
Overhead machine exten 15,12,20

 

[Josefein421]

Up early to get things done around the house. Finished early and bored so a quick nap that left me groggy.

Close neutral Tbar row 4x6
Ss
Wide pronated Tbar row 4x6
Close supinated MAG pulldown 15,12,10,8
Band straight arm pulldown 3x15
Seated dual handle cable row 15,12,10
Seated calf raise 15,15,12,12+partials

Not the craziest workout but it felt good. Been taking my cooked chicken and rice and frying it in ponzu sauce. So so good w the crunch.

 

[Josefein421]

Really good session yesterday. Starting to find a groove. Weight was 216.7 today so down 2.1lbs. Going to train legs earlier this morning after some cardio with my dog. Then going to NYC to meet my old Platoon Commander for dinner in the Upper East Side. When things get tough for me I hesitate to reach out to him. I was his right hand in Iraq. I was trusted to do some things that only I did. I think that was part of my struggle coming home and to this day. Being that guy to who I am now. Anyway, I am not gonna sweat the mid week cheat meal. Italian and it looks to be very very good.

Yesterday... Chest and Shoulders

NewTech incl 15,12,10 CP (rest pause + double drop)
Incl db 12,10,8
Cable crossover 20,15
NewTech machine lateral 20,20,15,15+partials
Superset
NewTech machine rear delt 4x15+partials
DB lateral destroyer 20,15
Hanging leg raise 3x20
HIIT 7x15/45

NewTech machines are great. Great pumps all around but still pushed heavy-ish. I am hitting failure or a rep short, keeping the weights the same and just letting natural fatigue take over. Sounds funny but the rep short of failure at times makes a big difference vs every single set to balls out failure DC/JP style. I love their training. My CNS just fatigues mid session so fast now. Or maybe it is my brain knowing I need to beat specific numbers because I certainly am training hard and intense now.

Went to test drive a Land Cruiser yesterday. I am a ways off from buying a car. I have an Audi SQ5 now. I am a big German car fan. But Toyota always interests me. I want to compare the Land Cruiser, GX550 and 4Runner. I want something rugged and more spacious but to still have some luxury.

 

[Josefein421]

I meant to get some videos in the gym and pictures of the food... fail. Leg training was really good. I got super out of breath and pukey at one point... that means youre doing it right? Lol. Nothing special and I realized after posting yesterday about CNS that all the "intensifiers" take as big a toll or more a toll on CNS. I will have to watch things. At least this way if I deload and do a session low volume, zero intensifiers and just short of failure I dont feel guilt as there isn't planned progression. Just in my head I know

Drive into NYC is usually 1.45hrs... took 3.5 and GPS stopped working with the buildings which never happened before. But as I was all worked up swearing as soon as I found out where I was that I was going home... I called my buddy and he talked me right to him. We walked Central Park which was cool. All my times to NYC I have never been in it. Crazy I recognized some of the spots from TV shows. The city is great because of the food options if I am there for another reason like a concert or something. However it is just so awful with the crowds, traffic, noise... polar opposite of the life I described in my last post lol. But he loves it. He splits his time between there and DC. I find DC wayyyyy more manageable. We actually go there end of the month to see an Indiana Fever game. Anyway...


Legs
Incl calf raise 20,15,12,10,8 (increasing weight each time)
Lying leg curl 10,10,10,10+double drop (small weight increases wanted more volume and to connect with hams more)
V squat 10,6
Hack squat 30rp
Leg extension 20,15+partials

Not the craziest workout by any means but I pushed hard. Burger was great. An old school place with cash only, 1950s register, dim lit and haven't changed the burger in like 75yrs. Had a burger, fries, cup of chili and a piece of pecan pie that was excellent. I asked for espresso and they laughed and said coffee only lol.

Off day from training today. Didnt sleep the best. Going to a cabin for the weekend. Just a getaway to reset. They have a lake to canoe in and take the dog to swim, hot tub, sauna, fire pit, etc. Only about 45min away but we stayed there before and he cuts us a great deal. This might sound crazy but I am considering skipping the cheat meal burger I was gonna have a just grill hers. It was delicious last night but I have goals and I definitely felt the food sit like a brick and slow digest. Crazy the difference.

 

[Josefein421]

Up at the cabin. Just got out of the hot tub. Puppy is relaxing. Girlfriend is reading. Sitting outside. Gonna take a walk soon. It’s been a nice break. Staying in diet. Weighed 218.7 today still up from the cheat meal id assume. Staying clean all week and see what changes come after that.

Incl curl 4x12-15+double drop
Preacher curl 3x15+double drop
V pressdown 5x20
Skullcrusher 4x15
Ghr sit up 15,12,10
HIIT 15/45x7

Oh and got a pedicure yesterday. I don’t love it like some people do but trying to take care of and pamper myself how I can as I mentally comeback from this.

 

[SOUR DIESEL]

Up at the cabin. Just got out of the hot tub. Puppy is relaxing. Girlfriend is reading. Sitting outside. Gonna take a walk soon. It’s been a nice break. Staying in diet. Weighed 218.7 today still up from the cheat meal id assume. Staying clean all week and see what changes come after that.

^^^hey brother ..you know how to liv bc that's the life right there !!!!!


..you'r log looks good too ..lol ..keep it up on all fronts!!


.

 

[Josefein421]

Not a good day yesterday. I just have such a reduced ability to handle stress. I swear I have PTSD from this incident with work. I puked at home from anxiety. Just felt like shit and so sensitive and emotional. My ex-wife to be has decided to fuck with me and make life difficult. There's financial strain... she has cost me about $90k over the last 18mon. I think I am ready to just go nuclear. I probably got way over emotional and over reactive yesterday and ranted a while. I feel really bad. My girlfriend is the strongest person I know but it takes a toll on her I know. It isn't just my ex-wife to be. It's hit after hit, the way veterans are treated, the stigma I've gotten over mental health.. my therapist says I have a negative core belief and just hate myself. Can't say she's wrong. I have a lot of guilt over Iraq, not being stronger, burdening my family and loved ones. Anyway...

Off the rails yesterday and didnt eat til 1pm when I had a hoagie and brownie. Back on plan today training and diet. Still want to see what the end of week looks like but I think I am gonna make some changes.

Machine close grip pulldown 12,12,10+Cris Pause set (increased weight each time)
Plate loaded lat row 3x10 (increased weight each time)
Upper back row 3x10-15
Stiff leg deadlift 405x7 (no belt)
Straight arm pulldown 3x15 (increased weight each time)
Abs 3x20

This felt really good. Doing more lat focus as my upper back is very developed from the deadlifts, face pulls, etc over the years. Stiff leg strength is down. I attribute that to low food yesterday, TRT and just not used to pulling in a while. Everything felt great though. The machines might not be as hardcore but they are so much easier to target muscles without the pain of the powerlifting type movements and reps.

 

[Josefein421]

A better day today. Had some appointments and talked to the divorce lawyer. He was very confident we will now change our plan. We gave her every chance and she didnt comply so we go nuclear. I think she's in for a rude awakening. I didnt want this route but enough is enough. I am done being used and taken advantage of. Had a very good VA appointment today also. Just need to keep the right frame of mind and let myself recover and heal while these lawyers take care of everything else for me.

Chest/Shoulders
Incl db 3x10 paused these in the hole for a stretch
Machine flat press 15,12,10+drop
Pec deck 20,15
Cable lateral 25,20,15 increasing weight. First time using this set up. Need to dial it in but felt great.
Db partial lateral 20,20
Cable rev flye 25,20,15

Did LISS cardio this morning. Normally HIIT today. I will tack that on tomorrow after legs which is what it is. Booked a reservation for my favorite steakhouse for Saturday. We need a nice upscale date night and I love the food for my free meal. https://www.orchidstk.com/

 

[Josefein421]

Legs

Standing leg curl 3x8+drop
Leg extension 25,20,15
Belt squat 15,12,10
Walking lunges 2 trips
Seated calf 5/5/5x3 1x20+partial (5 reps pause 5sec at top, 5 reps paused in stretch, 5 full reps)
HIIT 15/45x8

Doesn't seem like a ton but it was hard. Tried to really focus on squeezing my hams. Leg extensions I paused at the stretch and were brutal. Love belt squats especially not the main move. Like an accessory when I already have some pump and fatigue in my quads. Lunges are always awful lol.

Weight is actually up 218.8. I am actually eating more "dieting" than before as I am tracking and at 6 meals instead of 4-5. Added TP blacks at 2iu pwo today. will do 2iu through next week and then go 3. Will stop at 4 I think. Some diet changes to be made. I will post the spreadsheet tomorrow. Felt pretty good today. Applied for some more school nurse positions including Taylor Swifts old middle school $27,500/year for elementary>middle school. Never thought I would choose it as the pay is poor but at a good suburban school it is a low stress job with great benefits and teacher salary schedule and pension. I am not ready to be involved in acute care again right now. Napped with my dog, did some laundry, rainy lately but some good puppy walks which always destress me. Lifted at my buddy's gym so it was good to catch up. Will split time between there and Guy Cisternino's place which is awesome.