What’s your best bodybuilding joke?

[headtrainer]

If you bought the juice from Dave Palumbo and gained absolutely nothing—you are definitely Old School.

 

[USMuscle9403]

If you take Beverly Nutrition Liver Tabs and your place of work calls the utility company because they think there's an actual gas leak

YOU ARE OLD SCHOOL

 

[88shots]

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!"


He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."


He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.


The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

 

[Wavelength]

I usually just flex my biceps and say, "someone call a vet cause these puppies are SICK!"

OR Do you like omelets? Cause omelet you feel these gains!

 

[maldorf]

This one is ok.

Why was the bodybuilder arrested at the elementary school?​

Because it was a gun-free zone

 

[Tomgrass]

What we're you doing on new year night? Chest and biceps....(weird how true is that one....)

 

[hawkmoon]

I learn new BB jokes by visiting /r/steroids on Reddit and reading the expert/genius posts.

 

[TripppleP]

Mike O Hearn is natural.

 

[USMuscle9403]

If your idea of medical diagnosis is 'looks good bro' from your training partner when one side of your ass is twice the size of the other from a Sustanon Rediject....









....






YOU ARE OLD SCHOOL

 

[inoverdrive]

Not a joke but when i was younger (20's) my friends and I would sit around talking about the wild nights with drunken acts of stupidity, weed, cocaine and who we banged the night before. Fast forward to your 50's and its about the wild nights of getting good sleep with your CPAP, blood pressure pills, how decent our shits are and the latest colonoscopy we had!

Mental Note: For you younger guys, take care of yourself and enjoy your youth!

 

[Wavelength]

If you have to brush your teeth and shave your face in sets with rest in-between because the pump gets ridiculous, you might be a bodybuilder.

 

[mpjuice]

Kevin Hart has some hilarious skits on bodybuilding...

 

[maldorf]

Three guys were talking in the local bar. The manager was so sure that its bouncer was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. The challenge was that the bouncer would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money. Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters, karate masters, and all had failed. Then one day this geeky little fella with heavy black rimmed glasses came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge. After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar! Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a construction worker, Mixed Martial Arts fighter, what?" "No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS."

 

[maldorf]

Television Commercial

An overweight man sees an ad on his TV, for a guaranteed 5 lb. a week weight loss program. He decides, "what the hell", and calls and purchases it. A week later a beautiful woman shows up at his door wearing nothing but a pair of running shoes, a smile, and a sign around her neck which read, "if you can catch me you can have me", and she started running. He followed. This continued everyday for that week, guaranteed, he lost five lbs. After that, the man saw an ad for a 7 lb. a week weight loss program, which he signs up for. The next day, an even more beautiful woman shows up at his door in similar conditions, and she started running. But this time, he almost caught her. But, guaranteed, he lost 7 lbs. that week. He then signs up for the MAXPRO 10 lb. a week program. The next day, a 300 lb. muscle man shows up at his door wearing nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection and a sign around his neck which read, "If I can catch you, I can have you." The man lost 17 lbs. that week

 

[USMuscle9403]

If you ever wore overalls to walk into your local farming supply to look the part and ask where to buy tren pellets

YOU ARE OLD SCHOOL

@Fa Seeshus WASN'T THAT YOU?

Sorry guys I'm gonna wear the shit out of the 'you are old school' meme

 

[TheOneAlone]

If your pre workout routine includes making sure your joggers are tight enough

YOU ARE NEW SCHOOL

 

[lookslikesausage]

If you wear Daisy Dukes, combat boots, and sunglasses to the gym with a straight face...you are old school

 

[brutus69]

bodybuilding is a sport.

 

[method2madness]

Bostin Loyd

 

[benchmstr]

Bodybuilding IS the joke