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- Joined
- Jan 26, 2003
- Messages
- 2,014
I just got done watching Hostel and I started thinking (that's usually not a good thing). Before I watched the movie I was really wondering if I would be able to watch it all or not because of all the things I'd heard about it. Everyone said how disguisting and disturbing it was. As I watched it, I basically found myself bored...numb. Bodyparts lying everywhere didn't phase me. All the blood, the screams, etc meant nothing. I thought it was an interesting movie, but I didn't find it the least bit disturbing, or scary. Now I suppose this could just be because I know in my mind it's all fake, nothing but props and makeup. Honestly though, I think it's deeper than that.
I remember when I was a little kid, I always had a feeling when I was in my bed at night that there was someone in there with me. Sometimes it felt like something good, sometimes it felt like a presence that was repulsed by my existence. This may sound insane and I'm more than ready for those accusations, but there have been MANY times when I layed in bed at night and the bed started shaking. I'm not talking about something like a little jiggle. I mean SHAKING. This has happened as long as I can remember. A couple of years ago, I was laying in my bed at about 3 am, sound asleep with my girlfriend at the time. Out of nowhere (get ready to call me crazy) the bed popped up off the floor about two feet and slammed down again while a deep demonic roar blew against my and my girlfriend's face. I'm serious and I'm NOT lying about this. We both literally felt this steaming hot air blast us at the same time that the bed fell apart from slamming on the floor. Now there was no central heat or air in that apartment, so it wasn't that. And the bed was an old solid wood antique bed. It was very sturdy, not something easily lifted, or easily broken.
The bed breaking was the only time that particular occurance has taken place, but there have been at least three other times that I've heard that same loud roar and felt the heat blast my face.
Ever since I was a kid, weird stuff like this has happened to me. When I was a teenager, I lived with my aunt and uncle for a while. While I was there, the washing machine would turn on in the middle of the night, the toilet would flush, butcher knives would mysteriously end up in the middle of the bedroom floor at night, etc.
As a result of these weird things happening I got interested in Oiuja boards. I wanted to see if I could talk to whatever it was that was messing with me. Of course it all started as kind of a joke because I didn't expect it to do anything.
When I first started using it, it was very slow and hard to talk to. I thought it was just my cousin moving the thing and he thought it was me. We kept trying it anyway and eventually it got better. We started using it to find out things we wanted to know. Like if we had lost something, we could use it to tell us where it was. Or if I wanted to know something about a particular person I could find it out. At first it was really fun and helpful.
Over time though, the fun turned into what I can only describe as "intruiging evil". After a few months, whenever I would ask "who am I speaking to", the Oiuja would speedily spell out S.A.T.A.N. I would ask what he wanted with me and it would spell out things like "rape you while you sleep", or "make you suffer". These are just examples. I would use it for hours, taunting whatever I thought it was I was talking to. Anyway, I knew whatever it was it had been waiting for me since I was a small child....waiting for me to die.
On the other hand, I've always known that something is protecting me as well. And I have no doubt that if it wasn't for this protector, whatever it is that wants me would have me now. I can literally feel both entities all the time. One with pure love and the other who wants me to experience torture like no one can comprehend.
Another thing that will make our board psychiatrists ready to have me put away is this. I've always known that after this life is over, I will have a purpose. This life is just preperation for a battle. This life also determines which side of the battle I will be on. I want to live a good life. Honestly though, I seem to feel myself pulled deeper and deeper into bad things. My morality slips by me and I don't even seem to care. Sometimes I think the evil is taking over and I don't know how to stop it, or if I can....or want to. When I go to church I feel extremely angry and hateful. I literally want to hurt people for talking to me.
Now, let's analyze this. Insanity, or supernatural moral pull? What's the diagnosis? Has anyone else exerienced things you can't explain, but you know are just as real as the computer you're looking at right now?
I remember when I was a little kid, I always had a feeling when I was in my bed at night that there was someone in there with me. Sometimes it felt like something good, sometimes it felt like a presence that was repulsed by my existence. This may sound insane and I'm more than ready for those accusations, but there have been MANY times when I layed in bed at night and the bed started shaking. I'm not talking about something like a little jiggle. I mean SHAKING. This has happened as long as I can remember. A couple of years ago, I was laying in my bed at about 3 am, sound asleep with my girlfriend at the time. Out of nowhere (get ready to call me crazy) the bed popped up off the floor about two feet and slammed down again while a deep demonic roar blew against my and my girlfriend's face. I'm serious and I'm NOT lying about this. We both literally felt this steaming hot air blast us at the same time that the bed fell apart from slamming on the floor. Now there was no central heat or air in that apartment, so it wasn't that. And the bed was an old solid wood antique bed. It was very sturdy, not something easily lifted, or easily broken.
The bed breaking was the only time that particular occurance has taken place, but there have been at least three other times that I've heard that same loud roar and felt the heat blast my face.
Ever since I was a kid, weird stuff like this has happened to me. When I was a teenager, I lived with my aunt and uncle for a while. While I was there, the washing machine would turn on in the middle of the night, the toilet would flush, butcher knives would mysteriously end up in the middle of the bedroom floor at night, etc.
As a result of these weird things happening I got interested in Oiuja boards. I wanted to see if I could talk to whatever it was that was messing with me. Of course it all started as kind of a joke because I didn't expect it to do anything.
When I first started using it, it was very slow and hard to talk to. I thought it was just my cousin moving the thing and he thought it was me. We kept trying it anyway and eventually it got better. We started using it to find out things we wanted to know. Like if we had lost something, we could use it to tell us where it was. Or if I wanted to know something about a particular person I could find it out. At first it was really fun and helpful.
Over time though, the fun turned into what I can only describe as "intruiging evil". After a few months, whenever I would ask "who am I speaking to", the Oiuja would speedily spell out S.A.T.A.N. I would ask what he wanted with me and it would spell out things like "rape you while you sleep", or "make you suffer". These are just examples. I would use it for hours, taunting whatever I thought it was I was talking to. Anyway, I knew whatever it was it had been waiting for me since I was a small child....waiting for me to die.
On the other hand, I've always known that something is protecting me as well. And I have no doubt that if it wasn't for this protector, whatever it is that wants me would have me now. I can literally feel both entities all the time. One with pure love and the other who wants me to experience torture like no one can comprehend.
Another thing that will make our board psychiatrists ready to have me put away is this. I've always known that after this life is over, I will have a purpose. This life is just preperation for a battle. This life also determines which side of the battle I will be on. I want to live a good life. Honestly though, I seem to feel myself pulled deeper and deeper into bad things. My morality slips by me and I don't even seem to care. Sometimes I think the evil is taking over and I don't know how to stop it, or if I can....or want to. When I go to church I feel extremely angry and hateful. I literally want to hurt people for talking to me.
Now, let's analyze this. Insanity, or supernatural moral pull? What's the diagnosis? Has anyone else exerienced things you can't explain, but you know are just as real as the computer you're looking at right now?
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