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What's the weirdest/funniest sexual request you have ever heard?

Ummm.... To not fuck her, but jerk off in front of her while she flicked the bean and right when I come, to shove it in her. Some girl at worked asked me that right in front of her brother.
That's not "weird". I've done that several times. :headbang:
 
Piss on her, craziest woman I ever encountered, for other reason, but when I got up to go take a leak she said "I can come with" and I responded, "what, u wanna watch hahaha?" And she explained. Wtf.
 
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That's not "weird". I've done that several times. :headbang:

Same request here bro. Women are so much more mental w getting off and I guess it's empowering to them to watch and command and shit. Wtvr. Except finished w the bj.
 
Forgot about the one who was hog tied, w a gag ball in and hair pulling, slapping and degrading shit. As a psych minor I think it's all deep seeded shit from their childhood and teen years.
 
Pretty tame but,
I dated a girl who was a 10 body wise, big fake titties, pretty cute too. She liked it cowgirl. The very first time she's goes in to the bathroom gets her electric toothbrush, then uses it on her clit while she's riding. This used to totally get her off. Later I go in the bathroom she has the same toothbrush in it's charger all ready to go in the morning. I asked her about it she said she loved thinking about it the next morning while she brushed her teeth LOL
Like I said pretty tame.
 
When I was in 3 or 4 grade there was a older high school girl that lived across the street. Blond hair blue eyes c cup tittays. She used stop by and talk and tell me how cute i was. I didn't pay her much attention as I was only just starting to gain interest in girls.
Well, she stops by one day and ask if I want to check out her club house. She takes me to a shed in the woods behind her house. She then ask if I ever French kissed a girl. I tell her no. She ask if I would like to French kiss and I say yes. She then takes off all her clothes, lays on a table, and spreads Eagle. She then points to her Vag and tells me to start licking her there and that's what French kissing is (not what I had in mind). Lol. I remember staring at it a minute while she played with it. After thinking about it a minute I said "ewww, I'm not licking that" and then I took off. Lol. She never came by again after that. I seen her a few times later in life and she turned out to be a beautiful woman. We would make eye contact and I know she knew who I was. Her face immediately turned red and she looked away and walked off. If she had only talked to me instead of being embarrassed I would have told her I'm ready for that "French kiss". Lol

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When I was in 3 or 4 grade there was a older high school girl that lived across the street. Blond hair blue eyes c cup tittays. She used stop by and talk and tell me how cute i was. I didn't pay her much attention as I was only just starting to gain interest in girls.
Well, she stops by one day and ask if I want to check out her club house. She takes me to a shed in the woods behind her house. She then ask if I ever French kissed a girl. I tell her no. She ask if I would like to French kiss and I say yes. She then takes off all her clothes, lays on a table, and spreads Eagle. She then points to her Vag and tells me to start licking her there and that's what French kissing is (not what I had in mind). Lol. I remember staring at it a minute while she played with it. After thinking about it a minute I said "ewww, I'm not licking that" and then I took off. Lol. She never came by again after that. I seen her a few times later in life and she turned out to be a beautiful woman. We would make eye contact and I know she knew who I was. Her face immediately turned red and she looked away and walked off. If she had only talked to me instead of being embarrassed I would have told her I'm ready for that "French kiss". Lol

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That actually explains a lot.

My story is fairly tame - first wife got pregnant while we were dating and she was living at home with her mother and sister. They lived in a 1bedroom apartment, with 2 queen size beds in the bedroom. I would usually sleep on the sofa when I would stay there, but on occassion, I would bunk with the g/f on one bed while her mother and sister were on the other.

One night the pregnancy hormones acted up and the g/f started blowing me on the bed... 4ft from where her mother and sister were sleeping. I didnt know what to do - finish fast or pull her off me. I ended up lasting forever because i kept going half limp from freaking out. Her mother had to know what was going on, but she didnt say anything...ever.
 
friend of mine is strange. girl he is with likes him to wear her undies and makes him crawl on the floor like a dog with leash on his neck and he licks milk off the floor. not joking, weird shit

I'm still in the process of going thru this thread but this. HAHAAHAHAHA LOL
 
OK, OK, so in my old neighborhood I was only about 6-7 years old. We had these four sisters that were older than me that lived up the block. My mom always said stay away from them they're white trash. Of course I didn't know what white trash was lol.
So anyway, one day 3 of them say hey Rich let's go to our garage and play doctor. I'm just a kid so I'm like OK! They lay me on a table, pull my pants down and start examining my dick with a tongue depressor. I suddenly realized I really like playing doctor. My first big erection! This was the start of many adult games with my neighbors for like the next 10 years, What a lucky kid! I was smart enough not to tell anyone LOL. As we got older they taught my how to eat pussy and everything! Totally enhanced my sex ed! I guess this is why I love slutty chicks.
Funny shit, To this day whenever I go to the doctors I always look at the tongue depressors lovingly. LOL!
 
OK, OK, so in my old neighborhood I was only about 6-7 years old. We had these four sisters that were older than me that lived up the block. My mom always said stay away from them they're white trash. Of course I didn't know what white trash was lol.
So anyway, one day 3 of them say hey Rich let's go to our garage and play doctor. I'm just a kid so I'm like OK! They lay me on a table, pull my pants down and start examining my dick with a tongue depressor. I suddenly realized I really like playing doctor. My first big erection! This was the start of many adult games with my neighbors for like the next 10 years, What a lucky kid! I was smart enough not to tell anyone LOL. As we got older they taught my how to eat pussy and everything! Totally enhanced my sex ed! I guess this is why I love slutty chicks.
Funny shit, To this day whenever I go to the doctors I always look at the tongue depressors lovingly. LOL!

Fucking awesome!!! ...nothin like bein taught how to eat pussy rite lmao ........this story actually made me laugh thanks broski:)
 
When I was in 3 or 4 grade there was a older high school girl that lived across the street. Blond hair blue eyes c cup tittays. She used stop by and talk and tell me how cute i was. I didn't pay her much attention as I was only just starting to gain interest in girls.
Well, she stops by one day and ask if I want to check out her club house. She takes me to a shed in the woods behind her house. She then ask if I ever French kissed a girl. I tell her no. She ask if I would like to French kiss and I say yes. She then takes off all her clothes, lays on a table, and spreads Eagle. She then points to her Vag and tells me to start licking her there and that's what French kissing is (not what I had in mind). Lol. I remember staring at it a minute while she played with it. After thinking about it a minute I said "ewww, I'm not licking that" and then I took off. Lol. She never came by again after that. I seen her a few times later in life and she turned out to be a beautiful woman. We would make eye contact and I know she knew who I was. Her face immediately turned red and she looked away and walked off. If she had only talked to me instead of being embarrassed I would have told her I'm ready for that "French kiss". Lol

Sent from my SM-G920R4 using Tapatalk

Lmao.....this thread is insane ....dont hesitate next time you see her ! You have your conversation openner :) ......
 
For years I dated strippers. Why?? That's another story.

However, about 4 years ago I was dating a stripper who lived with another stripper. My GF was the jealous type and knew I was a horn dog, so she never allowed me to stay the night at her place. Guess she was afraid I'd wear out the carpet between her and her roommates bedroom.

Anyway, she lived about 90 mins from where I was stationed, so I'd have to drive over to visit. One day, she had me meet her at work. Both her and her room mate was dancing that day and as luck would have it, they both got up on the same stage. Being politically correct, I made it a point of tipping both of them.

When my GF got off stage she stated that she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. I offered to take her back but she insisted I stay as I had drove so far to see the club. As she was leaving she told me that she had asked her room mate to take good care of me. I didn't think much of that at the time, but as soon as my GF exited, her roommate was all over me. She whispered in my ear that she had a special evening planned for us. After getting off work, we drove down to the ocean and bunny humped for over 3 hrs.

After it was done, I mentioned that it was pretty kewl that my gf let me have a free pass. She looked at me and said what do you mean? I said, well she said you'd take good care of me, so obviously she had this all planned. The girl shook her head and said...no, she doesn't know a thing about this. I was shocked...and I said, so what was this all about? She then said that normally when two dancers are on stage, they split the tips equally, but my gf took more than her fair share. So to get even, she decided to have sex with her BF. I was in disbelief...as I knew her room mate wouldn't keep her mouth shut, so it was basically signing my death warrant. So I inquired how much money are we are talking about? How much did she jip you out of? I was thinking a couple hundred at least.

The answer: $13

And yes, my GF found out and booted my ass out the door.:(
 
I used to work with a guy who was a actor. He actually had a small role on Dawson's Creek for one season. Good looking type guy all the girls go crazy over. He was actually the one who first introduced me to gear. He was married to a high end escort. Blond hair blue eyes fitness model figure. With her you had to pay $1000.00 for a 3 or 4 hour session was the minimum. He had her give me a lap dance in his living room one night. After the lap dance he offered to let me f*** Her a 8 ball but he wanted to watch. I passed on the offer thinking how awkward it would be sleeping with a friend's wife while he watched and I had reason to believe he would try to join in.

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Ah, stripper stories!
Yes I've dated a few. I started dating one that used to call me all the time to come to the club to see her dance. I used to balk about it but sometimes I'd go. She'd get on stage, lay on the floor right infront of me and put on the hottest show looking right in my eyes the whole time. The as soon as she was done she would come over to me and drag my ass to the back dance room. They always have a bouncer who is supposed make sure the girls don't have sex in the back room or anything. She'd give the guy a big tip (not my money) to look the other way while we were back there. She'd dance, hump, suck and fuck my every which way! She told me it turned her on cause she felt like all the other girls were jealous and wished they were her. She'd pretend like I was some rich customer. Then she'd go back on and dance over to me and say shit so the other girls could hear like "Honey 4,000.00 is too big a tip!" "Did I suck your cock real good?" or "I really like the way you make me swallow it" LOL! She was a little nuts but sooooo sexy. Funny thing was I never spent a nickel at the club, she'd buy my drinks and everything. Sure miss her. She found some super rich dude to marry her.
 

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