Why do woman change ?

[TrenSweater]

Women who like sex can be funny about it too. I want you to try something trensweater. For a couple days/nights don't try to have sex with her. Just be around her, give her a massage, rub her feet or just hold her on the couch.
Make NO ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER to have sex with her for at least 48 hours but be very attentive to her.

That sounds like cuddling , hmmm , well right now we are really not talking so not a good time , but i have definitely decided i will never beg for it , I'm going to start acting like I'm not the slightest bit interested in it , i have tried before but i give in to fast because I'm just a horny pig but this time I'm doing it,,,penis punishment

 

[tri-terror]

That sounds like cuddling , hmmm , well right now we are really not talking so not a good time , but i have definitely decided i will never beg for it , I'm going to start acting like I'm not the slightest bit interested in it , i have tried before but i give in to fast because I'm just a horny pig but this time I'm doing it,,,penis punishment

Youre missing the point. If she feels like all you are interested in her for is sex then that is exactly what you wont get. you have to treat her like a woman and act like you care about her. You do care about her right? And yeah right now if youre not talking is EXACTLY the time to cuddle with her. Apologize and try and do something special for her.

 

[renewlyf]

Here's a question. When you first met her, she probably thought you were exciting, new, adventurous, ambitious, etc.?

Have you changed? Are you still doing your part to charm the damn panties right off her? I bet you aren't.

Women don't generally have to same level of sex drive as men but it shouldn't be as bad as it is. Is she honest with you? Does she have a closet full of female vibrating machinery the size of a baby's arm?

Does she orgasm, and if so, with the same intensity as when you first met?

I'm not saying it's you, and I'm not saying it's not you, but there are some things you can do to find out what the problem is.

OTH has a very valid point. Take a look at yourself first before putting all the blame on her. I'm not saying it is all you.

Relationships are tough...I was married once upon a time lol, I learned some things along the way.

You want porn style sex, she probably wants to have a nice note left on the kitchen counter that emotional about her, says " I love you honey " a small gift or momento women like these things, they like to feel 'special' and have that kind of attention, maybe not exactly that kind but its the things you did early on in the relationship that you have become complacent about, shit we all do it, if it was up to us men, it would be " hey babe turn the TV to some football, fetch me some food and blow me"
Not really but you get where Im coming from, we just wanna chill, and women want us to get off our asses out of our comfort zones and show how much THEY matter to us...surprise her with a night out for dinner or whatever, like I said think of the things you did for her when you first met, women are sentimental like that and usually this opens up the door for a bit more excitement in the bedroom...

Personally for me, Im not cut out for it, learned that a long time ago, but I made the mistakes and I can pass on what I learned about relationships and the things I know that ALL women want from their dood.
Anyways thats my Dr Phil .02 for the month.

Ajdos - has another good suggestion! I try to do little things for my wife just because I love to see the smile it brings to her face. Not to long ago I bought her a tool box for the back of her truck one Saturaday. It was something I knw she wanted! Great sex that night. I will also go do things with her that I don't always want to do, but I know she wants me to do them (like go to her networking events :sleepi:g-) When she is happy she likes to have sex, when she isn't she doesn't

When she changed i can honestly say i stopped trying, i have tried real hard to be that sweet guy again but it doesn't matter, she doesn't masturbate , she has no sex toys , she is an x stripper for Christ sake , ever since the kids she had no desire at least not with me , she doesn't even fuck me when she's drunk now that's pathetic , we don't drink much at all like we used to , but the last 4 times she got wasted she had no desire at all she passed right out , getting her drunk used to be the best , this sucks

Maybe you should start trying because you love her and what her to be happy not just because you want to have sex. She will be able to tell the difference!!

Most women do not want porn style sex, they want love, passion, and romance.

Some like both!!

We definitely don't get along like we used to its almost like we are only going through the motions for the kids , she doesn't like me to go down on her, i can't suck on her tits she says it tickels , thing is without good sex I'm not a very nice person, if I'm happy in bed in happy in life, she doesn't understand that, maybe its selfish but i want a woman that wants me, like i want her that's what makes me a loving nice guy, the way she is puts me in a bad mood and therefore we dont get along, not to mention she is a seriously bitch all the time, who wants to come home to that every day

It is probably the complete opposite for her! If she is happy in life she want to be happy in bed also. At least it is for my wife. It took me some time to figure that out.

How long ago did she give birth? Did she nurse or use formula? If I hear you right, all or most of this hinges on your penis/vagina connection. Is everything else okay? Are you able to get along without sex in the equation? Are you and her friends? There's a lot that goes into this. Try to imagine that neither you or her even have sex or sex organs. Is she still someone you would be with? You can love someone and not like them (pretty much my entire family LOL).

This is MUCH MUCH more than just her not being "in the mood" or something like that. Maybe she's unhappy, she could be depressed, sometimes after having a child, sex is uncomfortable. Too many possibilities and not enough time in the world to figure it out here.

What you two NEED is a relationship/marriage counselor. I've seen some amazing things come out of those workshops if the couples take it seriously. I think you can see things falling apart. For your children's sake, I'd be much happier to see you work it out before it gets bad. Because it will. For whatever reason, the two of you are not able to work this out. It's not a failure on your part, sometimes it's just difficult.

Stay with your family. Get the help you both need for those kids.

Show her you are willing to do anything for her, the girls and the relationship!! The sex should soon follow.

I'm just not sure it's repairable , when so many hurtful things have been said , you really never forgive or forget, i think its finally over and to be honest I'm not sure i care anymore, the thought of being with someone else makes me happy, the thought of my daughters moving out makes me want to jump off a bridge, this sucks

Relationship Counselor!!! Fast!

Youre missing the point. If she feels like all you are interested in her for is sex then that is exactly what you wont get. you have to treat her like a woman and act like you care about her. You do care about her right? And yeah right now if youre not talking is EXACTLY the time to cuddle with her. Apologize and try and do something special for her.

Women can sense our intentions! Selfish intentions usaully don't get recieved very well.

Make it about her and not about sex and you'll be happly surprised!

 

[TrenSweater]

Valid points , and no I'm not perfect , but it's like no matter how much i do for her no matter how nice i am it doesn't matter , she doesn't do shit for me , try getting a back rub from her, but i give them all the time , i like doing nice stuff i do , but when you get nothing in return eventually you stop giving

 

[TrenSweater]

I really don't have many friends anymore , since i stopped partying nd had kids, and I'm fine with that, just wanted to say this board makes me feel like i have friends that understand , thanks guys

 

[matt1164]

Valid points , and no I'm not perfect , but it's like no matter how much i do for her no matter how nice i am it doesn't matter , she doesn't do shit for me , try getting a back rub from her, but i give them all the time , i like doing nice stuff i do , but when you get nothing in return eventually you stop giving

Change your mindset.

You are perfect. You can go out and easily find someone new if you wanted to.

Your the man!

repeat after me, ' I'm the fuckin man'

Now go get some poontang

 

[raw33man]

It's your fault !

You are not giving her enough attention. Start giving her real attention and don't ask for sex. If she sees you are not fooling to get sex out of her, she will fuck you day and night.

Girls love attention. tell her you love her, how she is the most beautiful woman to you in the world and all those cheesy stupid stuff that will get you laid lol. buy her gifts, flowers, surprise her

Guys always think its the women taht change, but honestly it's the man ! After 2 3 years we stop caring about them like the way we used when we first met them, it's just not like the firs times.

 

[TrenSweater]

Change your mindset.

You are perfect. You can go out and easily find someone new if you wanted to.

Your the man!

repeat after me, ' I'm the fuckin man'

Now go get some poontang

That's what I'm saying seriously I'm a good looking mofo i pick up the finest chic in the bar every time , i don't need this shit , I'm way too good looking to be jerking off, period

 

[OuchThatHurts]

That's what I'm saying seriously I'm a good looking mofo i pick up the finest chic in the bar every time , i don't need this shit , I'm way too good looking to be jerking off, period

I hope this is a joke.

 

[magnus82]

Wow, this thread takes me back. 5 years ago i could have written this very thread word for word. I thought i was not to blame for this and guess what, i was right. I can't speak for you, but our wives sound spot on. We never discussed divorce though as I would wack off indefinately in a closet just to be with my kids. Here is what happened. While preping for a group vacation, my wife decides to do p90x. For those unfamiliar with this, it is a 90 day crossfit type program. About 60 days into it i noticed a change in her, not only physically (by now she was looking fantastic) but also mentally. A little bit of the old her was showing through. I thought with the upcoming trip, this was just something she was doing to make the trip "trouble free". To my suprise, it continued to get better and better. Over the course of of the next 4 months, we managed to surpass the the way it used to be. We decided to go on a date night, just the two of us. Went to a nice place, had a wonderful supper, and a few drinks. This gave me the courage to ask her about the changes that had taken place over the last 6 months. Turns out, she never "felt" sexy. Nothing i did, said, or tried could change that. She could not stand it when i touched her as she felt disguisting. The more i tried, the more offput she was as it stessed her out. Her self image was so poor, it affected us. By changing her body, she changed her mind. The funny thing is, she looked better after our kids were born than she did when we first. Crazy how powerful the mind can be. She now chooses to run and does so regularly. Although she is not entirely satisfied with her body (I think its perfect) she is no longer aphauled by the
way she looks. I am not sure if this is the case with your wife , either mentally of physically, but could be a place to start. Hope all works out for you, as i have been there and know how it feels.

 

[TrenSweater]

I hope this is a joke.

Ya its not even a funny joke , i don't even go out ,

 

[Barbie81]

O how i wish your wife could read this Casanova... I am fuming reading how disrespectful you are about her.. ( you fucking walk out during sex!) You sound really selfish and your wife would have a lucky escape if you leave and go find someone else to mentally screw up.
I cannot help you. But I can blame you.. It's all you.

 

[ajdos]

That sounds like cuddling , hmmm , well right now we are really not talking so not a good time , but i have definitely decided i will never beg for it , I'm going to start acting like I'm not the slightest bit interested in it , i have tried before but i give in to fast because I'm just a horny pig but this time I'm doing it,,,penis punishment

Shes not a man, she doesnt react to that kind of thing, your projecting male thinking on a female brain, shes an emotional creature thats what you need to understand and ignoring her will probably just make your situation worse.
You also need to come to face the cold facts that divorce may indeed be in your future, I hope not, but its a sad reality for a lot of couples.

 

[pesty4077]

Since I am a lot older, I am going to tell you what I learned. I met this very beautiful girl online from Romania. I decided to go see her 2 and 1/2 years ago. Of course right away I wanted sex with her. She tells me after 6 months, she isn't interested in me anymore because I only want sex from her. I really didn't see that at the time and we didn't talk for 3 months. Then we started talking again and decided to be just friends. I went back again a few times to see her and didn't think of sex, just to be with her and have fun. She is a great girl to be with. After a while, I could care less about having sex, after all, I was with a very beautiful woman 1/2 my age.

I started to really care for her and her feelings. We are now best friends and care very much for each other 2 and 1/2 years later. I will be going to spend Christmas with her and she tells me, she is ready to make love to me again. I never asked, nor did I care. You see, I put her feelings first and not my own needs. What I learn from all this is that I was happy just being with her, after all, she is my best friend. Do I need sex? What I need the most is a great friend in life first, everything else will fall into place after that. If you really love someone, you will put their needs first and not your own. I consider myself lucky to have this woman in my life.

 

[triathloncoach]

Relationships are tough...I was married once upon a time lol, I learned some things along the way.

You want porn style sex, she probably wants to have a nice note left on the kitchen counter that emotional about her, says " I love you honey " a small gift or momento women like these things, they like to feel 'special' and have that kind of attention, maybe not exactly that kind but its the things you did early on in the relationship that you have become complacent about, shit we all do it, if it was up to us men, it would be " hey babe turn the TV to some football, fetch me some food and blow me"
Not really but you get where Im coming from, we just wanna chill, and women want us to get off our asses out of our comfort zones and show how much THEY matter to us...surprise her with a night out for dinner or whatever, like I said think of the things you did for her when you first met, women are sentimental like that and usually this opens up the door for a bit more excitement in the bedroom...

Personally for me, Im not cut out for it, learned that a long time ago, but I made the mistakes and I can pass on what I learned about relationships and the things I know that ALL women want from their dood.
Anyways thats my Dr Phil .02 for the month.

Wow. Lots of sage insight there boys and girls. Pay attention.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Since I am a lot older, I am going to tell you what I learned. I met this very beautiful girl online from Romania. I decided to go see her 2 and 1/2 years ago. Of course right away I wanted sex with her. She tells me after 6 months, she isn't interested in me anymore because I only want sex from her. I really didn't see that at the time and we didn't talk for 3 months. Then we started talking again and decided to be just friends. I went back again a few times to see her and didn't think of sex, just to be with her and have fun. She is a great girl to be with. After a while, I could care less about having sex, after all, I was with a very beautiful woman 1/2 my age.

I started to really care for her and her feelings. We are now best friends and care very much for each other 2 and 1/2 years later. I will be going to spend Christmas with her and she tells me, she is ready to make love to me again. I never asked, nor did I care. You see, I put her feelings first and not my own needs. What I learn from all this is that I was happy just being with her, after all, she is my best friend. Do I need sex? What I need the most is a great friend in life first, everything else will fall into place after that. If you really love someone, you will put their needs first and not your own. I consider myself lucky to have this woman in my life.

This is selfless and admirable ONLY if she, in turns, puts YOUR feeling first as you do hers. She may be beautiful and half your age, but that shouldn't give her a 'free pass' so to speak. American men tend to do that because they have low self-esteem and our culture is that it's politically correct for men to be sensitive. Sometimes these same men tend to accept scraps instead of the lion's share and seem to finish 2nd every time. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but I do see it a lot. Since I've known you, you just seem to generally be an all-around nice guy. There is a distinction though between freely choosing to be a nice guy and/or always being the sucker.

You're good people, bro, like I said, and you have a mature outlook. Generally, until that stage of maturity is reached, men and women as friends only is largely a myth - with one party harboring unspoken attractions or affection that goes completely unexpressed.

 

[triathloncoach]

I have often read that studies show Married men typically have significantly more sex than single men. Try Google. It's true.

I am with my wife 16 years now and I would be surprised if anyone has had as much sex as I over that time period. But sometimes I ask for things to be a little more on the wild side, although I can't complain. Sometimes she says yes, often - no. And she answered recently that "Women who like to swing from chandeliers don't stay married"

Now lets just say that I know some married women who like to swing from chandeliers, just not for their husbands- and they have not stayed married.

Some women are selfish and do not care that their partner has reasonable needs that they refuse to meet. And some men make it extremely easy for their partner to be selfish. And some people have unreasonable expectations and don't appreciate what they do have.

And some people are just not compatible.

 

[TrenSweater]

Sex is an expression of love , when someone attacks you on the couch and starts raping you it's a great feeling and makes me feel loved , i guess when you see that its no longer like that i begin to wonder is it because she doesn't love me like she used to , and that in turn makes me unhappy , it has a downward spiral effect , great sex usually means 2 people that are still madly in love and turned on by one another , i guess when i don't get that i start thinking the worst

 

[TrenSweater]

She left for work this morning and left a note on the table apologizing for saying some hurtful things to me ,, yes I'm the victim this time probably deserved it , , she says she love's me soo much and would really like things to be the way they used to and she is going to try harder , she says because of school and the kids , that we concentrate so much on every thing else we forget each other , it was touching , I'm going to try and be the guy i used to be ,, i don't want to lose her , its just i have heard this before

 

[pesty4077]

This is selfless and admirable ONLY if she, in turns, puts YOUR feeling first as you do hers. She may be beautiful and half your age, but that shouldn't give her a 'free pass' so to speak. American men tend to do that because they have low self-esteem and our culture is that it's politically correct for men to be sensitive. Sometimes these same men tend to accept scraps instead of the lion's share and seem to finish 2nd every time. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but I do see it a lot. Since I've known you, you just seem to generally be an all-around nice guy. There is a distinction though between freely choosing to be a nice guy and/or always being the sucker.

You're good people, bro, like I said, and you have a mature outlook. Generally, until that stage of maturity is reached, men and women as friends only is largely a myth - with one party harboring unspoken attractions or affection that goes completely unexpressed.

I agree, it a maturity issue. What happens if she is in a car accident and you can't have sex? Does that make her less attractive to fulfill our needs? We are selfish as humans, at times. I don't have low self esteem or insecurities, far from it. I don't give out, to get back. If I did that, i merely would be like most. I give to show I am giving without expecting back. Acts of love and caring require sacrafice, not acts of what am I getting back. I completely see you views however, you should not be a fool in life either. I can be completely satisified by myself in life too. I think their is a fine line there. To make others happy, you must be happy with yourself first.