Wife threatening to rat out stash. (married to a psycho older woman)

[LEX]

Be strong brother. do what it takes to get away from her.

 

[Wonton]

Ok, ill get right to the point. My wife (who is 49, Im 35) has always been hot tempered. WHen she gets angry she makes all types of threats and never follows through. (like cheating, leaving etc) and having me arrested for DVD's. I ued to get scared, but after hearing the same old thing for over 3 years, I just got over it.
Tonight though in one of her angry moments she called 911 and said "my husband is beating me" and hung up. She then turned off the cell phone and went out for a jog. (mind you I never , ever have laid a finger on her. She is the one who loves to hit and throw stuff at me)
So after about an hour I hear banging at the door. I pretty much guessed right away who it was. I answered the door and they said they got a 911 call from my place. I played dumb and let them do a walk through. They were puzzled, I could tell. The phone was a tracfone in my name.
My wife walked up when they were there and said no one called, it mustve been someone else. They left but looked very confused.

AFter they left she went off like crazy yelling and screaming. Saying she;s leaving me finding other men to give her money etc.. I have a 11 year old autistic son who is used to this by now. She's been doing these screaming fits since he was born. All the neighbors are used to it as well.
But now that the cops were actually here, Im really spooked. I dont knwo what to do. Im really worried this time. I dont know what to do.
She uses them as well as me, and actually looks like she's on them (huge, thinning hair, manly face) but insists Ill take the rap for them if the cops end up coming.
I cant stand living like this. Ive been doing everything Im supposed to be doing. I quit drinking, and have stuck to it. Other tham minor annoyances, Im a pretty damn good husband and father. Im in college and am 60 credits into my degree. I dont know what to do.
I feel like a prisoner now. I feel so helpless and powerless when Im put in this kind of situation. I want to move the dvd's to a friends house, but if I do I'm basically calling all out war with my wife, and Im 100% sure she will have me arrested for domestic battery, even if it means hurting herself and saying I did it.
I really want to drink now, Ill tell you that. I wont though, because thats exactly what I think she wants. I cant even leave to stay somewhere else because I cant take the chance she wont throw all our DVD's out on the lawn of the parking lot (or something equally stupid and reckless)

I just need to vent, rant whatever becuase I feel like an emotional wreck inside, and I feel trapped.
I know there is no one here that can help me, and I feel pathetic. I just want to solev this problem once and for all, but another part of me is not ready for that.

Well if she is actually getting bolder - things will get worse
I would take all precautionary measures to ensure my safety and the safety of my children

This doesn't look to play out well at all my friend ..at all.

Be safe and careful -

 

[q-tip]

I think you know exactly what to do. Listen to your gut and bounce this broad. I myself love Latina women. I have been with my share of crazy ass Latinas but I love the shit out of them. I always say I'm gonna end up in prison cause of these chicks but do I date outside my norm... No. When kids and neighbors are used to hearing y'all's bullshit it's over. My exwife called the cops and said I threw her down the staircase once and I had DVDs in the house and some of them were hers. I never threw her down stairs and it even says in the police report "no marks" she even told the cops about the DVDs but fortunately the didn't even bother to look. This mind you was the second time this bitch had falsely claimed I threw her down. I ended up in jail and it took 2 years and a fuck load of dough later to clear my name. I finally kicked her to the curb and moved on. Doesn't matter how good the sex or how fine they are that kind of relationship is for the birds my friend. Get rid of her! Not tomorrow either

 

[gabe walker]

I left 2 days ago. Its been crazy. She must have seen this coming because when I went to take my DVD's with me, ALOT were missing. Luckily she didnt get my best ones, but she took and hid a good amount.
Im staying at an acquaintances house. She's been trying to call me alot, and texting me to come back.
Im not sure what to do now. Im very uncomfortable here.
This guy has a fucked up lifestyle, and I get no sleep. I know I shouldn't go back, but my summer semester starts May 13th and I need to get 2 A's. I dont see how on earth Ill get any work, studying or sleep here. Plus the temptation to drink is huge!!
Drinking is the worst thing I could do now, and there's vodka all over this place.
She's telling me how she'll act nicer, and I know she will for awhile, then go back to normal. Im trying to find somewhere better to stay, but anything I can afford right now is not that good.
Anyway, I've been sneaking back everyday and grabbing things of value and bringing them to my fathers, so in case I do go back and have to leave again, Ill have nothing to worry about.

I also wanted to thank everybody who posted here. Your words really gave me the strength to realize that I am not the only one who has gone through this. It really helped me out alot.

also my son is doing good. I spoke to him in the phone and he said everything has been very calm.

Good for you... promises, promises, promises, of course she says she will act nicer and you will go back and then it will happen again. You know all this already though.... She is going to plead, bargain,make deals with you, she needs someone always around.. Do what you can where you are, try to find a better place to live, it's for your own good and your sons. Study at the library, coffee shop, park where ever you can.

I played that back and forth shit for years, motels, parents, I'd take my son with me. she would promise, apologize, maybe restart her meds then I would watch the cycle start again... Just like a roller coaster, for a few days all is good then slowly it starts again, the aggression, and anxiety becomes palpable and you wait for her to go off....Walking on egg shells all your life is not a way to live, watching everything you say and do, soon your friends will stay away and your family will follow. She will systematically drive everyone away from you if she hasn't already just by her open hostility and unpredictability...

You don't need someone who has to promise to be nice to you, you need someone who is nice.. One day she will ruin you and everything you worked hard for, strive for, value, cherish..You know that already though.... I don't know where your son is on the autism spectrum, I'm assuming high functioning aspergers, He doesn't need to see that crap, it only makes it so much harder for him to manage his day to day life, and when he gets into middle school and the bullying and teasing start, if he doesn't have a stable, calm, loving home life bro, it can be so much worse..

 

[trenlover]

wow bro this is an older thread now, but I had a wife once like this.....leave, get out, do whatever u have to do to get out of this situation. it only gets worse, hope ur doing ok now bro.

 

[renewlyf]

I left 2 days ago. Its been crazy. She must have seen this coming because when I went to take my DVD's with me, ALOT were missing. Luckily she didnt get my best ones, but she took and hid a good amount.
Im staying at an acquaintances house. She's been trying to call me alot, and texting me to come back.
Im not sure what to do now. Im very uncomfortable here.
This guy has a fucked up lifestyle, and I get no sleep. I know I shouldn't go back, but my summer semester starts May 13th and I need to get 2 A's. I dont see how on earth Ill get any work, studying or sleep here. Plus the temptation to drink is huge!!
Drinking is the worst thing I could do now, and there's vodka all over this place.
She's telling me how she'll act nicer, and I know she will for awhile, then go back to normal. Im trying to find somewhere better to stay, but anything I can afford right now is not that good.
Anyway, I've been sneaking back everyday and grabbing things of value and bringing them to my fathers, so in case I do go back and have to leave again, Ill have nothing to worry about.

I also wanted to thank everybody who posted here. Your words really gave me the strength to realize that I am not the only one who has gone through this. It really helped me out alot.

also my son is doing good. I spoke to him in the phone and he said everything has been very calm.

You did the right thing by getting out! Don't go back!! You said it, she'll be nice for a while then it's back to "hell on earth" for you.

Do you have any family you can stay with? Father? I know it's not ideal but it's not a permanent situation. Just tell you get on your feet. What about taking a semester off tell you get some stability? Get a 2nd job and make some money to get your own place.

Keeping the prayers coming for all parties involved!

 

[dubdub]

You definitely did the right thing bro, it might be tough where your at but just stay strong and before you know it you will be able to get your own place, it doesn't have to be anything great...anything is something. I am going through something VERY similar to this, actually.