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christmas help

engbulldog

Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
943
well its that time of year again , feelings are all over the place , happy for what I have as far as family and friends , job and all that but , this time of year just pisses me off to the point I just want to say fuck it , back story 15 plus yrs ago my father thought it was a good idea to try crack and it fucked my family and my world up, he has kicked that shit but every year my birthday and christmas are ruined , he was too high on that shit , so he missed my bday and was high on christmas , guys i am 41yrs old and I hate christmas and my birthday because of this , what can I do ???? I try to block it out but it just comes back...... I have a 6yr daughter that I love with all my heart and a great wife 5 dogs, 3 cats and a damn fish lol, i love my life but find myself in a slump because of hat happened 15 plus years ago, My dad and I still talk and he knows how bad it messed me up but it is all I can think about.... the only way for me to vent is through the weights and during christmas it just is too much and my workouts suffer ????????????????:banghead::mad::banghead::mad::banghead::mad:
 
im shocked you are still paying atttention to these man made holidays

i " woke up" at 30 y/o and life has been pretty much stress free since then.

do the holidays mean something to you?
 
Sucks about your dad man, but you were 26 when that happened right? Atleast it didnt happen to you as a kid. Focus on your daughter and wife and help them enjoy the holidays, which in turn will give you enjoyment.
 
Talk to your dad about it. Tell him how you feel. Let him know he doesn`t even have to respond but you want him to know your feelings. It`s the past, people make mistakes. Either talk it out, forgive, or move on and stop talking to him... if that would help. What is the real problem bothering you? He never said sorry for the hard times? He never owned his problems? Tell him!

At 15 y/o I made the decision my mom was a crazy B*tch... I have not spoken to her since. I saw her at a funeral but no words. It sucks, but its what I decided and I`m ok with it now. I love my wife, none of those side effects you would imagine like woman beater or something.
 
Pay attention to your daughter and wife, and enjoy the day with them. It will be much better.
You also need to talk to your dad about the influence of this thing seriously. You can't let it ruin your holiday in later years.
 
You need to have a new association with your birthday and Christmas. It needs to start with your immediate family. You're letting your fathers mistakes poison and sabotage you still...at some point that starts to become your mistake...maybe you need to see a therapist...nothing wrong with getting some help. Be good to yourself and be good to your wife and daughter...hopefully you're not ruining the holidays for them!
 
Time to let go bro. Resentments only hurt you. Past belongs in the past. Everyone makes mistakes. It's all about the present. Time to make new memories. I use to let my past eat me up but then I realized there is nothing I can change or would want to change. It helped shape me into the man I am today. Let put it to you like this. When you are driving down the road are you constantly looking in your rear view? No, you got your eyes on the road ahead with an occasional look back. Do the same with life. Look at the road ahead and give your family all of you and forgive your father. It will help you more than him. And thank god that he is one of the very few that kicked that problem. A lot of people never make it back. God bless bro and happy holidays!!
 
thanks guys , had a talk with dad and told him the stuff on my mind and it seems to have helped, thanks for the advice, time to put that crap in my past and move on
 

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