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Need sound, financial advice

npcout

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Long story short. Long relationship, 13 years, married for 4 years. Got divorced. Currently 30. Lost a decent Amount of money to my ex wife. Not left in a hole, but not overly well off.

Been working in healthcare with good health insurance, 403b, pension since 21. I don’t have many student loans left, I have a decent 403b for my age, but my saving account is lacking due to divorce, selling our house, etc.

I’ve been with my new girl for some time now. We would like to upgrade our home. We make a good amount of money together. She has a large savings. She really wants me to help with the down payment which I am not ready for which she understands and is willing to wait until I can. I just want to get there as soon as possible.

Besides working extra within reason like I do, so our relationship doesn’t suffer, cutting back within reason.. we are 30 not 22. She has a 5 year old that is basically mine.. we want to have more kids soon.. so we don’t want to postpone life for to long.

I understand it’s easy to say stay just keep saving.. but life keeps moving and we want a better home, neighborhood and environment for our kids, a happier home. Plus our current home will need major major upgrades soon.

I don’t from what I read want to withdraw from my 403b even 4-7k.. is it smarter just to hold contributions from my 403b for a few months and pocket that so I’m not withdrawing? But at least current money is growing?

Any suggestions??
 
Buy in bulk from our great sponsors here you have access to. sell to your gym buddies at double to triple the price. Good extra cash there.

If that’s not your thing then same general idea applies .... hustle and find a way to make extra cash
 
Back in the day i used to flip cars off craigslist, auctions and stuff like that made great monie at a young age doing that. If you could find a mechanic that will cut you a discount if you bring in multiple vehicles every so often. Thats what i did, buy a car off cl or auction. run it through my mechanic and hed let me know what i needed but the parts and hed throw em in at a discount. Think my best month was like $6500 profit at 18 years old wasnt bad. Thats a thought to possibly do on the side. Idk how much its changed since, i see alot of people doing it and theres alot of people on youtube going to auctions buying cars fix and flip em. If thats something youre into look into iT, invest in a cheap code scanner, look at the blue books on the vehicles youre looking at, and reference craigslist to see what your car might go for miles, condition, etc... id normally be able to get cars way below book value, say id buy a beater for like $2000,book value may be $3800 put a couple hundred into it and sell it for $3000 that day its outta the shop just cause it would be a great deal for someone else and make a quick 7-800. I bought an xterra on one day ran it through my mechanic, needed a coil, i paid $1900 for it, he put the coul in that day, cleaned it up that night. Was in it a total of about $2100 posted it up and had someone buy it for 3k at 6 am the next day, $900 profit for hardly any work was worth it. Especially tax season coming up if the taxes are issued this year... great season to do so
 
Have you looked into special loan programs that might be available for you or your girl based on your career? A lot of times they can do things with less of a down payment depending on your industry. Healthcare may be one of those industries. Depending on your hourly earnings, waiting tables at a high end restaurant could be good quick cash as well, or doing something like uber in your spare time.
 
Can you take a loan against your retirement savings ? Some plans allow that. Depending on where you live home prices have risen dramatically. Personally I am skeptical of making a large purchase the way the market is now. Interest rates are decent but home prices are high.

You can put less in your 401k - but contribute enough to get your company match.
 
Yea you can do an FHA with a low down payment and there's some that don't have PMI even.

Don't know about a 403 but 457 and 401k you can borrow against sometimes.
 
So you’re only 30 and spent the last 13 years with someone and had a nasty divorce and you’re already with someone new, with a kid, and you’re trying to do it all over again? And sorry Bro, unless that kid has been in your care since he/she was a baby, it’s not basically yours.. It might be basically yours because you’re taking care of him/her NOW and that’s your reason for justifying..

Sound advice would be to take the good amount of money you seem to make, save it and enjoy life for a bit and travel etc...

Don’t know how healthy it is to jump into something else right after... No offense bro but do you even know how to be alone? As in, not codependent?

The last thing on my mind would be what you’re doing, especially at only 30 years old... Seems like you’ve got other things to worry about before it happens again..
 
I wouldn’t borrow against my retirement. It’s not worth it, especially for a non-emergency situation.

You can’t get an FHA loan because you’re not a first time buyer (assuming since you sold your last house).

You said you lost a lot of money with your ex wife and you’re ready to make that risk again?

You should be thinking things through before making any drastic financial commitments.
 
So you’re only 30 and spent the last 13 years with someone and had a nasty divorce and you’re already with someone new, with a kid, and you’re trying to do it all over again? And sorry Bro, unless that kid has been in your care since he/she was a baby, it’s not basically yours.. It might be basically yours because you’re taking care of him/her NOW and that’s your reason for justifying..

Sound advice would be to take the good amount of money you seem to make, save it and enjoy life for a bit and travel etc...

Don’t know how healthy it is to jump into something else right after... No offense bro but do you even know how to be alone? As in, not codependent?

The last thing on my mind would be what you’re doing, especially at only 30 years old... Seems like you’ve got other things to worry about before it happens again..

Do not buy a house with this woman! You state she wants you to help with the down payment but if the relationship is solid that shouldn't matter to her. Red flag there in my opinion.
 
U have a few “wants” in ur statement. For me, i’d want re-establish myself and my bank account, my stability and i’d want to make damn sure before purchasing another house with a new relationship that i’m thinking about whats going to be best for me first. Take ur time brother, no hurry. ur young, dont rush it. building ur future is like building ur physique...it takes time, a plan and patience.
 
I agree on being more conservative and testing the waters more. How long have you been with your new girlfriend? It doesn't sound like long. IMO I wouldn't have kids so soon either. I didn't have my first child until I was 32 years old. How old is she? She should be good until her mid 30s. Make sure this is going to work out.

If you are dead set on doing this now then I would just stop your contributions to the retirement and save up that money in a savings account. Do not borrow against or take out retirement money. If you take it out, you get slammed with really high taxes. The taxes are about as bad as it can get, bad idea. Rates are still low I think, but are going up so the longer you wait the higher they will probably get since the economy is firing on all 8 cylinders and the fed is raising rates. We got a 2.85% rate on a 15 year mortgage about 4 years ago! Get a 15 yr fixed if you can afford it.
 
Sounds like most Americans. You have better things then most in the world, but not satisfied with what you have. So what do you do, go get into debt up to your ears and become a burden to debt.
 
So you’re only 30 and spent the last 13 years with someone and had a nasty divorce and you’re already with someone new, with a kid, and you’re trying to do it all over again? And sorry Bro, unless that kid has been in your care since he/she was a baby, it’s not basically yours.. It might be basically yours because you’re taking care of him/her NOW and that’s your reason for justifying..



Sound advice would be to take the good amount of money you seem to make, save it and enjoy life for a bit and travel etc...



Don’t know how healthy it is to jump into something else right after... No offense bro but do you even know how to be alone? As in, not codependent?



The last thing on my mind would be what you’re doing, especially at only 30 years old... Seems like you’ve got other things to worry about before it happens again..
Just want to say completely agree with what you said. Some guys never learn this lesson. OP said in September that he was having erection issues with his new gf so were talking less than 6 months.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 
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