had a nice 90 days in the slammer..

Alias · Sep 12, 2015

Don't know why I decided to post this, maybe I'm venting, maybe just looking for street credit (jk). Point being, I spent 3 months in jail for a warrant I've been hoping didn't catch up to me... Well it did. Nothing serious, just a BS victimless crime involving a plea deal for tax evasion I was quoted in court as promising to pay back by a certain date. I took the deal to avoid penalties and or jail time for a tax audit I failed miserably back in 2008. I truly thought I would never see a jail cell for not paying a portion of my taxes. I've been in prison before, but for what I would call an "actual crime". But now I have a family and businesses that could have done better without my little vacation.

Anyhow, its not like what you see on TV, no weights, no decent food to speak of and certainly no means of staying in shape when accustomed to a gym based routine.

So, I'm out now since about 3 weeks ago and I'm having a hell of a time adjusting to my TRT dose. I was on cycle when I got popped and I've lost around 25lbs since. I started taking my TRT just as soon as I got out, in the car ride home as a matter of fact (125mg week). I just don't feel the same as I did before I went in. I was on TRT for well over 10 years, and the 90 days really has me messed up mentally. I had no interest in sex when I got out and that was sign number one that something was not right. I know the loss of muscle doesn't help, but the real problem is the constant ups and downs I've been feeling since I starting taking the Test. again. I almost felt better not being on anything (minus the lack of sex drive).

I don't know if I should just call it quits and try taking maybe a Test. Cream and forget the whole BB life style. Or is it that i'm just in a rut and it's gonna take me some time to get re-accustomed to using AAS. I'm 35 now and for the first time in over a decade I feel as if I could actually stop AAS and just be an average Joe. I'm weighing in at 187 and besides the depressive feeling I get when I look in the mirror, I'm actually content with being so small.

Anyone else ever hit a crossroad in their life where they think they might wanna stop AAS and just be normal? and if so; how did it work out for you and do have any regrets?

Sorry for the essay, I'm just feeling a bit emotional today and needed to get some shit off my chest.. Other then the 50lbs I lost off my bench press.

Alias · Sep 12, 2015

I should have said hello, and asked how everyone is doing.. I apologize for that. Hello, how is everyone doing?

little slice · Sep 12, 2015

no one likes average joe

control · Sep 12, 2015

Well, congratulations on being free again bro. Honestly, if I could quit gear forever and be happy, I would. Last week after an injection, my leg poured blood all over the bathroom floor and I was standing there in the bathroom thinking "Why the fuck do I even do this?"

bca21 · Sep 12, 2015

Bro, pick your head up!! Live and learn. When I lost interest, got a I little injury and got a 251 at 6ft with size 40 pants and 15 inch, I looked at my self and wanted to give up. I finally pulled my head out my ass and got on diet juice and weights and will Never look back.
It's time to up the dose to 500mg and start eating and growing. Get into it harder then ever(if you can with life and kids) stay up
Brotha, we all go threw bs!!

control · Sep 12, 2015

Also, it looks like a certain source scammed me out of $1000 and it would be great to never deal with that again

johnjuanb1 · Sep 12, 2015

Try not to dwell on the negatives you are experiencing. Just try to do at least one positive thing every single day for yourself, whether it is taking a walk, lifting weights, helping someone worse off than you are, etc. I recently was thinking similar thoughts but I found stopping training made me much worse psychologically. So, instead of training for the bodybuilding lifestyle and look, I decided I needed to do some form of exercise daily for the endorphin release. That keeps me better off mentally. I got real depressed only exercising twice a week. I find now as long as I do something daily in terms of weights or cardio, I'm much better off, even if it is only a 20 minutes arm pump or a walk around the hills nearby. Take things one day at a time and you'll bounce back.

SoFocused · Sep 12, 2015

we all have set backs and I know when youre starting from the bottom it can feel impossible to ever get back on track. But bro, youre only 35..you have many gains to make. Slowly ramp back up and be dedicated , before you know it youll become your best yet. This is just a small chapter

nothuman · Sep 12, 2015

How do people get jacked in jail?

method2madness · Sep 12, 2015

SoFocused said:
we all have set backs and I know when youre starting from the bottom it can feel impossible to ever get back on track. But bro, youre only 35..you have many gains to make. Slowly ramp back up and be dedicated , before you know it youll become your best yet. This is just a small chapter

:yeahthat:

chinaboy · Sep 12, 2015

There is no shame in taking a break or stopping all together. Take a break and try other things. Once you feel like hitting the gas again you will be mentally ready and be better off. And from what I read I would think your body is still adjusting to the addition of the test. In time the sex drive will return once you keep things steady for a period of time either off or on test.

snowpatrol · Sep 12, 2015

nothuman said:
How do people get jacked in jail?

Kali muscle has a video that explains it, basically

-ramen
-tuna
-be black

Probably a few other things...

lesserevil665 · Sep 12, 2015

I can relate bro. I quit juicing a month or so into the year. Stayed in the gym untill my shoulder got wrecked. Got on Dr prescribed trt (200 mg/wk) but theres no fire there any more. out for four months now. Cancelled surgery scheduled last month.

For the past 15 years if you asked me who I was, I'd say "a powerlifter". Now Its more important to be a good father, friend and son to my loved ones. Its nuts how much I lost this year. I look "average". Dont know if I really give a shit anymore. The people I idolized who mentored me have fallen to pieces with health problems, injuries and legal problems. Guys on the boards passing at an alarming rate.

Im sorry you got locked up man. Good luck and God bless.

Big A · Sep 12, 2015

It's not the TRT. Your head is just still screwed up from the experience. Give it some time for you to get back mentally back to normal.

RamboStallone · Sep 12, 2015

Sounds like depression brother, not a TRT issue.

Massive G · Sep 12, 2015

Big A said:
It's not the TRT. Your head is just still screwed up from the experience. Give it some time for you to get back mentally back to normal.

^^^
I would echo this, many of have had tragedies in our life that really brought us down, but there I truly believe that there is something special in each of us that makes us different and rise above the rest of the normal people out there.

keep your head up and you'll be back on top in no time.

ugadawg91 · Sep 12, 2015

I spent 90 days in for a warrant too fall of 2013 . Went in a week into PCT. came out skin and bone (we got 2 meals a day - 5am and 10am , no more
Than 600 calories daily
Total) and I looked like a holocaust victim with acne covering my body and face. Radical change , my sisters jaw dropped when I saw me. Took a month at least to get back to normal mentally . Pounded 7 prepped meals daily , blasted test tren and was back to normal in 2-3 months and never stopped again! But yes , depressed , spaced out, nervous, hands and voice were shaking 24/7, all these issues for first few weeks. It takes time to acclimate and adjust again!

jm425 · Sep 12, 2015

Welcome back brother. I can sort of relate. I had to take myself completely off when I started getting really sick at the beginning of last year right before I was put on dialysis. It was very tough for me as well more so mentally then physically. I was off for a good 5 months then I started going back to see my endo again. Ever since then I've been on hrt all over again. Honestly, it took me a good 2 months to get back into things. First month was the toughest. Test e or cyp takes a good 3-4 weeks to really kick in so I think you should give it a little more time. I know what you going through and wish you all the best.

kinglewy · Sep 12, 2015

johnjuanb1 said:
Try not to dwell on the negatives you are experiencing. Just try to do at least one positive thing every single day for yourself, whether it is taking a walk, lifting weights, helping someone worse off than you are, etc. I recently was thinking similar thoughts but I found stopping training made me much worse psychologically. So, instead of training for the bodybuilding lifestyle and look, I decided I needed to do some form of exercise daily for the endorphin release. That keeps me better off mentally. I got real depressed only exercising twice a week. I find now as long as I do something daily in terms of weights or cardio, I'm much better off, even if it is only a 20 minutes arm pump or a walk around the hills nearby. Take things one day at a time and you'll bounce back.

Same here, without the endorphin release from some sort of exercise i get depressed and down real easy.

Man that sucks getting locked up for owing money...shit like that drives me nuts. I had to do a few weekends in the county for unpaid fines...the time itself didn't bother me im used to doing years and years at a stretch but what kills me is you can owe creditors and not pay, you can owe hospitals and contractors and refuse to pay, but you dont pay the government and they throw you in jail.

JoshuaFTW · Sep 12, 2015

There is a big difference between jail and being in prison...In jail you eat crap no weights and where I live no yard...Prison on the other hand food is plentiful,you have weights,where I was had a free weight program So in saying you can get massive jacked in prison but county is all aesthetic exercise...

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